Have you lost any family members

[Kieron Andrew]

To follow on from Das's friend's thread i thought id ask whether anyone have lost family members over gender issues. this is open to anyone that cares to answer even GG's if they have lost family member cos their partner is trans

[Nigella]

Since my family only meet at funerals, or so it seems, they don't know about Nigella, unless someone has seen me and reported back to them.

Would I worry if they never spoke to me again, no, they don't bother now, so if they said they didn't want to see me again, no loss there

[Dasein9]

Not yet.
But then, I'm only out to my mom.

The thing that scares me most is the idea of being kept away from my 3 year-old nephew and godson. His father (my brother) is socially conservative and his mother is Vietnamese, and kind of traditional. I'm not even sure how to explain something like this to her. Right now, they live in Beijing, and I don't get to see them much. But I do love that kid. He is, of course, the world's most perfect human being. (As are all the children in our lives. :))

[Adam]

no i have been lucky and have full family support :D

[Abraxas]

No... But I'm out to my mum, dad, father, stepmum, and brother, plus a cousin or two.
I think my family are pretty well accepting of anything though.
My (step)dad's side of the family are Iranian, direct imports, but they're not Muslim and are really cool with stuff. Come to think of it, I've actually told a couple of them and they're fine and dandy.
As for everyone else, well for now they can just think what they will-- probably that I'm just a tomboy. I don't see most of them often enough to bother explaining. And to be honest, a lot of my dad's side don't really speak English well enough to understand, and I don't speak Farsi well enough to say anything but 'hi, how are you?' so there'd be some major communication barriers.
My dad's jokingly said, 'do you remember my son?' when I've come in with a short new haircut sometimes, and they all just kind of laugh.
I haven't asked any of them to call me by my male name or anything, but my mum doesn't 'correct' people when they use male pronouns so that's good. And they have no problem with my friends calling me Ben or any varient thereof either.

[Penny Dreadful GG]

Excellent question!

When I told my mom about the fact that I was specifically searching for a transgendered person for a partner, she was taken aback a little at first, and then had the usual questions.

She also said, "Well, your father and I raised you to be open-minded, but this wasn't exactly what we had in mind." So we had a good laugh.

Not sure how my father would have reacted... he passed away a few years ago. But I think he would have been okay with it.

My brother... well, I really never see him anyway, so it isn't an issue. Plus he knows where I stand: if he isn't comfortable with it, I understand. Just as he has to understand that this is my choice.

A well-travelled two-way street, as it were.

:hugs:

[happyfish]

Since I haven't told anyone the answer would clearly be 'no.' I only talk to my parents for an hour or so every week and my brother on the rare occasions we're both on MSN at the same time. I haven't really figured out where I stand, gender-wise, and wouldn't really dream of telling anyone anything until then. Except you guys. Because you rock.

[ZenFrost]

I remember when my uncle came out as a crossdresser, a whole bunch of my family members were sitting around in the kitchen making fun of him while he wasn't there to defend himself. I kept telling them to stop but they wouldn't. I think I'd rather just not tell most of my family than have them go behind my back and mock me for it. Judging by their reactions, I can think of a few family members I'd lose. So far I've just told my parents and they haven't disowned me yet.

[pocoyo]

To follow on from Das's friend's thread i thought id ask whether anyone have lost family members over gender issues. this is open to anyone that cares to answer even GG's if they have lost family member cos their partner is trans

Well only a few members of my family know... but so far they have all been really nice about it.

(Mind you... I did text my "possible half brother" after we met up the other weekend - when I told him about the TGness - and he hasn't bothered to reply. I guess he just thinks I'm weird.... or perhaps it's for some completely unrelated reason that he hasn't replied. Not that he's my "family" as such anyway, but you get what I mean.)

That is one of my worries though, that when (if) I come out to more of my family, they will not understand, and think I'm really odd. Or dislike me.
I am awkward enough around them already (always feel clumsy & stupid), let alone going round to visit them as a proper boy, with stubble & a deep voice etc.
And what if my little cousins (who used to love me and hug me, make me read them stories and play games with them), suddenly hate me or think I'm really weird.

Oh well. Hopefully they are better people than that! I should think so.
Have a little faith in them pocs ;)

Eek I just remembered.... even though they are mainly lovely, some (less close) relations on the other side of my family can be a bit mean though... because I have a gay cousin and some of them were going to nastily out him without his consent or something. So that forced him to be the bigger man and out himself before they did it.

Eek, if I transition I guess I will have to avoid some of those scary/dangerous ones and possibly make sure they don't know. Also that side of my family (even the lovely ones) are probably a little more "old fashioned" in how they think about stuff like gender & sexuality. Hmm. Maybe I can shave and dress & talk like a girl if I have to meet up with them! Hehehe.

[Casey Morgan]

I haven't lost any family members yet, but I'm only out to my mother and one sister. (I came out to my father but I think I'm going to have to do it again.)


The thing that scares me most is the idea of being kept away from my 3 year-old nephew and godson.

This is why I'm so worried about coming out to two of my sisters. Shortly after a teacher around here came out as being trans I asked my brother-in-law what he thought about the situation. He told me that he and my sister had talked about it, and they decided that they were fine with it but they didn't want it around the kids (3 and 2). I'm afraid to find out what that means. I don't know how the other sister feels, and she's got 8 kids.