Feel So Stupid

[Danni Bear]

I feel so stupid right now.I knowthat there has to many others out there that are or have gone through what I'm going through now, I just don't know how to handle it anymore. When I came out my wfe said alright after while but since i started hormone therapy things have gone from bad to worse. T he straw that broke the camels back came when she locked me out of the house and fhen called the law. can anyone tell me what to try next or should I just give up my dreams?


DANNI:sad:

[GypsyKaren]

Did she do all this because you're TS? Details, details please.

Karen

[Andrea Nicole]

Danni,
There's no way of sugar-coating this. Get ready to get hit with the paperwork VERY soon. Anything else, and you are not facing reality.
Andi ....

[Danni Bear]

YES SHE DID THE CROSSDRESSING BOTHERED HER BUT SHE APPEARED TO TOLERATE IT. THE REAL TROUBLE STARTED AFTER I TOLD HER ABOUT MY DREAM AND LONGING TO BE A WOMAN. i GUESS THE FINAL NAIL WAS AAFTER MY THERAPIST OK'ED THE HORMONES . THAT WAS ALMOST SIX MONTHS AGO. NOTHING MUCH AT FIRST BUT GRADUALLY MY BREASTS FILLED OUT A LITTLE AND SHE NOTICED A CHANGE IN SKIN TEXTURE. TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT THE MORE IT SEEMED TO HER THAT I WAS CHANGING THE WORSE SHE TOOK IT.

LOVE


DANNI

[princessmichelle]

Danni,

Hearing that this happened to you hurts me, even though I don't know you.

It just hurts. I don't know what else to say, but take care.

pm

[Star]

It seems that whatever damage that could have be done to your relationship by this has been done. All you can do now is move forward toward achieving your dream by meeting new people and making new friends.
I have not experienced the situation but the feelings are pretty intense for me too, so I may. Be happy sis ok?

[Katie Ashe]

I have seen many divorces. I'm sorry to say, there is no saving yours. I do think you should stay true to yourself, after all you have to look yourself in the mirror at the end of each day. I agree, you may love her and she may have loved you at one time. Unless she is willing to learn a new love, you will be on your own, like it or not. Take all you have that is good left and keep your head about the water. I'm sorry:gh:

[loriannetucson]

Ouch, having your SO lock you out and call the cops really hurts. I'm so sorry to hear about that. It does sound like things are at an end for you two, but no one here can say that for sure except you and her.

My heart goes out to you, I know how hard it is for both you and your wife. My wife is trying her best to deal, but I just started HRT last week. We'll see how things change when she sees ME changing.

Lori Anne

[Trisha]

i think mabe she thinks she is loseing her hubby that hurts her but you hurt as well its something you both have to come around too i know my wife would die if i changed but she lets me dress and thats ok for both of us

[AmberTG]

I hate to say this but your situation is more common then the "happy ending" situation. You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't. If you give up HRT to save your marrage, you won't be happy and that will affect the marrage anyway. Only you can make the choice, but at the end of the day, you have to be at least somewhat happy. I've been through 1 divorce due to my gender issues and am currently expecting the papers for my second divorce for the same basic reasons, my current wife would rather be with a "real man" and that is her choice, of course. I can't provide her with her physical needs anyway, and they're quite important to her.
I hope your divorce doesn't get ugly, but you should be prepared for the worst, because it often goes that way.
I'm sorry to sound so pessimistic but the reality of this situation is seldom easy, we usually pay a heavy price to be who we really are.
Good luck and keep in touch with us here.
Amber

[joanlynn28]

Hate to say it but that is the reality we have to deal with to be our true selves. Last week I was cleaning up my computer deleting old email files and came across some of my exwife's correspondances to couselors and therapists after she found out about me. What I found is why did she stay as long as she did when her intentions of leaving me for good were so apparent. Maybe she had a small hope that I would change but all of us here now that that kind of change is never going to happen. For me being married was the only thing keeping me from living my dream. As I look back now I spent the last three years of our marriage figuring out what I would do and how I would proceed if my wife at the time wasn't in the picture. Now that she is gone I am doing exactly that and I have never been happier about myself.

[Shellybean]

Dont stop for her, for anyone. If they have a problem with you being trans it "thier" problem and not yours. There is nothing you can do about it. I just take it one day at a time. So far i have lost pretty much everyone from my old life. but i am slowly making a new circle of friends and life begins anew.
hugz

[Siobhan Marie]

Dont stop for her, for anyone. If they have a problem with you being trans its "their" problem and not yours.

Danni, I so agree with Shelly hon as she is so right. You have one life and you have to live it as you see fit.

:hugs: Anna Marie x

[Kimberley]

Dani,
This is not at all unusual; for a marriage to break down. If anything where there is transition it is the norm.

You say the therapist okay'd you for hormones but you dont say if there was couples counselling involved. Did your therapist not warn you in advance that marital breakdown was likely to happen? Some hard questions here.

Unfortunately, from here the marriage looks like it is over so you need to move on with your life. Get a lawyer.

I really am sad that this has happened because it is being victimized twice in my opinion. Keep us posted if you can?

:hugs:
Kimberley