Help/Finally Donna Do It

[Mikala0589]

Ok, I'm 25 yo and I honestly started crossdressing pretty frequently within the past year. I only go to Target to shop, I'm not really sure why. Anyways I used to be nervous just being in the women's department and looking. However, now, im pretty comfortable looking around and buying stuff cause people may just think it's for my gf or wife (I do have a gf but she doesn't know I crossdress, and I KNOW I have to tell her). But my biggest problem is the dressing room. I get so close to getting there, I just can't work up the guts. Not sure why. There is a woman there that checks how many articles of clothing you have and want to try on. I really really want to go try stuff on, but up to this point all I do is buy stuff that I hope will fit and look good and luckily ive been right on. But just for the hell of it I want to try things on. Any suggestions please??? If someone has a good suggestion Id even be willing to go tonight and just try it out so I can try something on with the sales person knowing. Thanks again.

[Holly]

Just what is the power that this sales associate has over you? How will her knowing that you are trying on a skirt or a blouse impact your life negatively? Seriously?

[Mikala0589]

Thanks for the quick response. I just get nervous that people will laugh at me or point a finger at me and then every time I go back in the store, I will be spotted out easily. I just want it to go smoothly, but I'm always afraid of the worst.

[CrossdressinGoth]

do what i do :P

have a pair of guys pants and a shirt and have the womans clothes between them....maybe more trips but it will "cover up" what you want to try on, because they will then focus on the hangers as opposed to the actual article you want to try on. if it doesnt fit, say it does and simply go to the spot you got it and get the size you need. I do this and it seems to work out nicely

[Holly]

Thanks for the quick response. I just get nervous that people will laugh at me or point a finger at me and then every time I go back in the store, I will be spotted out easily. I just want it to go smoothly, but I'm always afraid of the worst.A discrete word to the manager of the store you are patronizing will stop that kind of behavior in it's tracks. And please bear in mind, things are rarely as bad in reality as what we imagine in our minds. Happy shopping.

[Cristi]

There is a 'trick' you can try. After you pick up the skirt, or whatever it is you want to try on, go to the men's department and pick up a few pairs of pants or some other items. Sandwich the skirt between these items when going to the changing room so the SA can see how many items you have, but can't really tell what the middle items is.

Just also remember to 'hide' any tag that identifies it as a woman's item by tucking it inside the garment. I don't think any of the people at the changing room give more than a glance at what you are carrying to see how MANY items you have, and really don't care about the details.

I still do it this way once in a while, but now opt for the MUCH more fun method of going shopping enfemme. :)

[MelissaAndProudOfIt]

I can't go into the changing room at target to try on any clothes that i have been buying. There is a girl who sits there and checks how many articles of clothing you have, and I can't work up the nerve to show her that I want to try on a skirt,blouse, or whatever (ive been doing better at shopping but i just can't do the dressing room). Help me please!!!

Simple rule to follow..


1) You are the customer
2) You have a right to buy anything
3) The attendant works for the shop
4) You grab skirt from rack
5) Ask her if you can use a changing room
6) she will reply yes, if one's available
7) she will give you an odd look if she ain't too professional (Oh my gawd!)
8) If she's professional she won't bat an eye lid and point you the way
9) you go to the changing room
10) try on the skirt

There you go...

Seems like the only real crunch is part (7)

If that happens you have options:

Either complain to the management of the store in writing

or

Just Ignore her...

Remember she cannot ban you as she only works there... she hasn't that power. If she is the manager and she does... and if your based in the UK, take the matter to trading standards, in form of a complaint.

After all you are only a customer...

buying something and paying your money...

so worry not....

go for it

[Tina B.]

No easy way, you have to find a store that does not monitor the dressing rooms, and those are getting harder to find, or hold your head high, and admit that you want to try them on. I can't think of a third choice.
But I will watch this thread to see if anyone else does, we have a pretty smart group here.
Tina B.

[marie354]

A week ago or so there was a comment made by an associate of Walmart that all employee are to treat the customers with respect regardless of their personal feelings or beliefs. It could very well cont them their job if you complained about their actions or comments.
I go to walmart all the time and have had no problems whatsoever. I know pretty much what my sizes are so I haven't been trying things on, but I've put on a little weight lately so I'll more than likely have to do it anyway.
My next door neighbor works there, so I'm sure he's seen me in the ladies dept. He doesn't seem to think any thing about it at all. At least he's never said anything to me or looked at me funny. We oftin speak to each other when we are in our back yards.

[Glenda58]

Find a small dress shop like Dress Barn. There fewer people in them and the SA will help you with everything. From getting the right size to helping make things match up to what shoes go with your out fit. And they will make you feel like a lady.

[TheGirlNextDoor]

The dressing rooms are intimidating, and there is a trick you can use, but it only works for jeans. At least you will know your bottom size. Just go up there just like a guy and act normal. Lots of non CD men wear girl pants because it is the new style for lots of punk rock and emo bands. Just look at band members for My Chemical Romance.

[Kristen Marie]

Or try a store that has a uni-sex changing room. I have tried on things in AJ Wrights and even the Sports Authority. These are generally not monitored. Once you get up the courage by trying on in these stores, Target will be easier.

Just tonight I celebrated Payless's end of their BOGO sale by buying two pair of 4" heel shoes. The clerk was right there in the aisle hanging signs for their new promo as I was trying on different shoes. She was so nice. Makes shopping a pleasure.

[JenniferR771]

Maybe Target isn't the best place to start. I think I heard somewhere that they have a policy--no men in women's dressing room. So I guess that means you try on the dress in the men's side. Can anybody confirm or deny this idea?
Myself I try on dresses at thrift stores all the time--no problem. Rooms are usually private with locking door.

[jennin]

Target has great clothing so I can see why you want to shop there. During the weekday morniing hours they tend to have less staff and less monitoring. I stick to the mens dressing room with 1 or 2 drab outfits and tons of the good stuff.

[noname]

I know the feeling, infact target was the first place I tried a skirt on. But like others have said, why give an SA power over you. I just look at it this way, I just as much of a right to try something on as any other GG in the store. Remember: You can't keep everyone happy. I think your imaging the worst case scenerio. The key is to not care what others think. Ok, so maybe some stranger in town might know. But really, what are they gunna do about it? Beat you up in the parking lot? Just try on what you want, and relax.

[katey]

i agree with what the girls are saying.
you just have to bite the bullet.
the idea of having some boy clothes on the outside is good, that's what i did the first time, but i don't bother now.
also, if possible don't go to the closest store to you or to a store that you go to all the time. drive an extra 15 or 20 mins so you will be less likely to bump into someone you know.
relax and have fun, i love retail therapy now and am totally blowing my budget.

good luck hun

hugs and kisses,
katey

[marie354]

You know... I'm going to have to keep all this in mind when I need to try on that first item in a store. Thanks for starting this thread.

[JoAnnDallas]

I was in Walmart the other day in drab, looking at thigh highs when a SA came by. She asked if I was finding everything I needed. I said yes, thank you and she went on her way. Very professional and made me feel a lot calmer. LOL

As for Target, everytime I have been in one, I have noticed that it a lot less crowded than WalMart. I plan to ue Target in my first en fem shopping trip. I plan to get there when they open at 8:00AM. It should be realitive empty and thus should not have to interact with a lot of people.

[Brianna Lovely]

Although I often shop in Target Stores, I've yet to try anything on at the store. However, since the occasion may arrise, where I need to check the fit of an item, I'd be upset if I were refused a dressing room, because of my gender.

So I've dispatched an email to Target, asking if they have a "gender discrimination" policy in place.

[LanceTrish]

Thanks for the quick response. I just get nervous that people will laugh at me or point a finger at me and then every time I go back in the store, I will be spotted out easily. I just want it to go smoothly, but I'm always afraid of the worst.

I can realate to this alot. I have Social Angziaty Disorder and that fear of being laughed or pointed at is strong. The best way to deal with it though is to realize you are not differant. Look at how many of us are on this site, you are not the only cross dresser out there. That being said I know that the worry and fear is strong I have it as well but can we really let our fears rule us?

[Stephenie S]

ALL of the above is good advice. The concept here is VERY simple.

Remember you are the customer.

You are the one with the money.

Stores want your money.

Buying stuff in a store is the quickest way to get a new best friend. The more money you spend the better they like you. If you go into a store and drop a few hundred dollars they will remember you and greet you with open arms everytime they see you.

If a store has a policy about men in the ladies dressing rooms (which is VERY unlikely in these days of political correctness), just go to the men's dressing rooms. No Problem. Most of us want to shop in a women's store though so there may be no men's dressing room. The ONLY time I was ever denied access to a dressing room by a SA, a quick word to the manager set things right in an instant. "Of course, sir. (I was in drab) We will set up a dressing room just for you right away! Can I do anything else for you?" This was at Coldwater Creek in the mall. I got REALLY good service after that.

I repeat:

Stores want your money. They DEPEND on your money. They will fall all over themselves to get your money.

Lovies,
Steph

In the smaller women's stores like Clay's in New England, you will probably meet the manager herself. Introduce yourself. Tell her your name. Again, if you spend money, you will be her friend for life.

[lynn27]

Ok, I'm 25 yo and I honestly started crossdressing pretty frequently within the past year. I only go to Target to shop, I'm not really sure why. Anyways I used to be nervous just being in the women's department and looking. However, now, im pretty comfortable looking around and buying stuff cause people may just think it's for my gf or wife (I do have a gf but she doesn't know I crossdress, and I KNOW I have to tell her). But my biggest problem is the dressing room. I get so close to getting there, I just can't work up the guts. Not sure why. There is a woman there that checks how many articles of clothing you have and want to try on. I really really want to go try stuff on, but up to this point all I do is buy stuff that I hope will fit and look good and luckily ive been right on. But just for the hell of it I want to try things on. Any suggestions please??? If someone has a good suggestion Id even be willing to go tonight and just try it out so I can try something on with the sales person knowing. Thanks again.

I would NOT worry about it, the SA don't really care. I've been buying my bra's from a SA in Penneys [they have a nice collection of 40-B's] and she has been very nice, no prying questions at all, very helpful and friendly. Go during the day when it isn't busy, nites bring more people and KIDS.

Try shopping at Kohl's or JCPenneys. They don't "guard" the fitting rooms, I always pick out my stuff and walk over to the male fitting room. I also carry a cloth tape measure to check sizing for stuff at Goodwill and places like Target. You can get pretty close if you know your measurements.:hugs:

[Sheri 4242]

While I'd love to hear what Briana learns from her email to Target, I'd say, as a general rule, your actions should depend on the store -- and not just the store brand, but its size, how busy it is, etc. Like several have said above, there have been times (as recently as last weekend - ahem) that I have "sandwhiched a skirt between two pairs of men's pants, went to the dressing room, tried on the skirt, then went and put the pants back and purchased the skirt. This was at a Polo outlet store; I've done the same at J Crew, Old Navy, The Gap, etc. Only once have I ever been challenged -- well sort of. At a large, busy Old Navy in middle Georgia, they had a well-attended uni dressing room -- one where the attendant counts how many items you have, puts a tag on the door (like a door knob hanger with the number of items you have on it, then counts how many items you come out with. About a year ago the attendant didn't want to allow me to take a skirt in with me (I also had three pairs of male pants and had never had a problem, then or since at an Old Navy store). I told her that I was a very good customer, that my wife had said to NOT let that skirt out of my posession, and that if she had a problem with that to go get her manager. Needless to say she meekly said okay and all was fine.

Regarding attendants, you never know who you're going to run into when you have a heavily monitored dressing room. I was going to take a skirt and blouse into a Gap men's dressing room (also about a year ago), and again I was going to sandwich them between male clothing. However on this particular day I had a SA that wouldn't leave me alone -- she kept trying to get me to add this accesory and that and so on. At one point she asked who I was buying such a nice outfit for. My standard answer is sort of non-descript: "Hey, I have a wife and four daughters and live in a world on pantyhose." Usually that ends the discussion, but this girl kept on. Well, I was feeling rather brave that day so I looked her square in the eye and said, "While I DO have a wife and four daughters, how do you know this outfit isn't for me.?" After the SA shook off her initial shock, she smiled, lowered her voice, and said with a great deal of earnestness, "Well, let's get you to a dressing room where you'll attract little ot no attention." She was great, as are many SA's, and brought me a number of oufits to try on, a couple of times asking to see me in them, then giving her advice as to how they looked (thumbs up or down on style, fit, color).

I guess it all boils down to common sense.

Places like Target, Wal-Mart and K-Mart have very extensive loss prevention personnel and equipment (one of my daughters has been in loss prevention for about 6-7 years). Many smaller stores don't have much if any. This particular daughter of mine is one of my children that knows about my CDing, and it has been her opinion (and it is an opinion) that, depending on the state, CD's are better off buying from (and even trying on clothes at) some of the other stores I mentioned above.

[Mikala0589]

After working up enough guts, Ive decided that this saturday will be the first day that I will ever go to my local target and actually TRY-ON women's clothes. I'm so sick of being scared to do it. And for some reason, I'm a little turned on by the thought that I will be doing it this saturday. Wish me luck, should be fun......:D

[Andrea Nicole]

Sounds good, but where's the pics to show us.
Andi ....

[Mikala0589]

Ill show you the new outfit that I buy on saturday. CANT WAIT!!!!

[JoAnnDallas]

I too am planning a shopping day at Target. I plan on getting there when they open at 8:00AM. That way there should not be a lot of customers and the changing rooms should be empty.

[Kali]

It's funny; my SO always points out to me that when I'm dressed all day/night I'll go through more outfit changes than a GG would even consider, but when I'm shopping I have no interest in trying things on, be they male or female attire.

Have fun. ;)

[Angie G]

good luck hun have fun :hugs:
Angie

[Brianna Lovely]

Maybe Target isn't the best place to start. I think I heard somewhere that they have a policy--no men in women's dressing room. So I guess that means you try on the dress in the men's side. Can anybody confirm or deny this idea?
Myself I try on dresses at thrift stores all the time--no problem. Rooms are usually private with locking door.



Although I often shop in Target Stores, I've yet to try anything on at the store. However, since the occasion may arrise, where I need to check the fit of an item, I'd be upset if I were refused a dressing room, because of my gender.

So I've dispatched an email to Target, asking if they have a "gender discrimination" policy in place.

In reference to Target Store's Transgender policy.

After several emails to "Brian" at Target's Guest Relations department, I had a pleasant phone conversation with the Manager of Guest Relations.

He informed me, that Target Stores have "family" dressing rooms and that they do not discriminate against Transgender people.

As for their diversity policy, the following is quoted from their web site:

"A Message from Bob Ulrich, Chairman and CEO
At Target, diversity is something we integrate into all aspects of our business. Our ability to offer our guests an exceptional shopping experience depends on team members who understand the diverse communities we serve. We want all of our guests to feel welcome at Target.

This commitment to diversity is one of our corporate values. Our business culture reflects a variety of perspectives that all work together for the common good of our guests, team members, shareholders and communities."

[Michelia]

Thanks for the research. I have been wanting to do the same with CATO but haven't got around to doing it.

I have shopped at just about all the stores in my area and the only one's I have ever had problems at are CATO and Dillard's.

That said, I have built a very nice relationship with an SA at Dillard's and she has become very helpful and I use the Ladies dressing room. At Cato it all seems to depend on the local people and it can vary from "no way to try this on" to "come on in and let me help you". I got a very bad attitude from an SA there once. It seems this company has no policy and they don't know what they are missing. They have good clothes at cheap prices and the larger sizes too.

I will try and call or write them soon.

I have never had problems at Target.

I always let the SA know the clothes are for me.

Michelia

[Brianna Lovely]

Thank you. I explained to the Manager of Guest Relations, that I was a Transgender Person and that WE represent a rather large customer base. He seemed sincere and made sure to emphasize their diversty, both with customers and emplyees.

[Amy07]

I have been to Sears, Penneys, and Walmart, but never found anything in my size to try on. Internet.........

[Lovely Rita]

There are so many courageous ladies here. All I can say is that it takes a lot of chutzpah!!!!!!