My daughter has disowned me.

[cindianna_jones]

I transitioned while my daughter was very young. She has never known anyone else except the person I am now. She has grown up knowing only "Cindi". She is now married and has a child of her own. We have maintained contact over the years and although I knew that she had issues with me, she has always been polite and in a joyful mood when I have called or visited. I've suspected something brewing although she never reallly wanted to talk about it.

Recently, she finally cued me that she was ready to talk about why I left her and her family. We had a long phone chat which I think went really well. I sent her a copy of my book to help follow up. You can never ever cover everything in a phone call (we live very far apart). Besides, my primary reason for writing my memoirs was for her and her brother to read.

She followed up with the following email:

----------------------------------------------
I am sorry I have to do this in writing, but I just don't think I can talk to you. You have hurt a great deal of people, especially (her brother's name) and me. Your book left me in tears of sadness because of your careless and empty love for us and tears of anger for all the lies. In your book you blamed everyone else for what happened to you and you made the reader believe you were the victim. What about all those who cared about you and still needed you? You have no idea what kind of damage you caused. My whole life I have felt completely worthless because my own father didn't even want me. You say you love us, but you love yourself and Paul more. You even said it in your book: "I can think of nothing more special than the love we share." I thought I loved you too, but I realized I loved someone who didn't even exist. The only attachment I have to you is that you are my biological father, and I can't even call you that. I don't know how to have a relationship with you and I don't feel like I need one since all it does to me is cause me to go into a depression every time I talk to you. I can't let this effect (her baby's name). It will only confuse her and make her ask questions that I don't need to answer. You took away your title of Daddy a long time ago, and you have also taken away that of a grandpa. Derek and I think it is best that you don't call here anymore and that I don't see you again. You abandoned me when I needed you, so this shouldn't be any different. It sounds like you love your life and that you couldn't be happier. This isn't easy for me, but I have to let go of you and move on with my life.

(daughter's name)

---------------------------------------------

I am crushed and heart sickened. Even though, I've felt for some time that something was brewing, she has never let on how deeply she felt about this. My book was the match that lit the fuel that has been leaking for years.

This is a modern day Greek tragedy. I am overwhelmed by her revelation.

Cindi

[Paula Rae]

Hey Cindi,
What a very sad story, it is beyond my comprehension to understand the feeling of your daughter, but rest assured that you are not alone. I know how you feel, as I have a 36 year old son who has not talked to me for nearly three years, apparently the reason is his knowledge of my TG life style. It really hurts and all we can do is: wait it out and hope that some day their feeling will somehow change.

In the meantime don't hold your breath, just be there if you're needed.

My heart goes out to you.

Love, Paula Rae

PS: Let me know about your book, I'd like to read it.

[Star]

It sounds like that when she was a child she needed a father and you couldn't be there. While we know and understand why, your decsion caused her at least as much pain as you feel now. Our choices have their price.
Im sorry for you, I hope things work out someday.

[loriannetucson]

Wow, Cindi,
My heart goes out to you. Not having your daughter's support sounds very disconcerting. It clearly sounds that she wrote not out of disgust but of hurt. She hurts deeply and we hurt deeply not being allowed to be ourselves. In the end we (I) can only hope that our friends and family will see that this was not a choice of abandonment as a father or a husband, but a choice of necessity... of life or death. I certainly hope and pray that God will mend your relationship in some way with her.

Blessings,
Lori Anne

[kerrianna]

Aww Cindi, I don't quite know what to say to make you feel better. All I can offer you is a hug. :hugs:

I'm truly sorry for your broken heart. :rose2:

[joanlynn28]

Cindi, I can relate somewhat to your situation with your kids. I myself have three stepchildren, ages 17, 25, and 27. I always thought that the youngest one would be the most understanding regarding my transition. I haven't spoken to her in over a year. But though my exwife my step daughter want to call me on Christmas Day to wish me a Merry Christmas. But my ex told me that Heidi feels like I betrayed her for doing what I must do to maintain my personal sanity. I'm sorry that she feels this way towards me but I have to live my life for myself. I couldn't go on living my life to please others while not caring for the one that matters the most, me. Maybe someday all of our children will come to except us for who and what we are, until then we will just live our lives as we choose to for our own sanity.

[GypsyKaren]

Cindi, all I can say is that it's her loss...I'll keep you in my thoughts and wishes.

Karen

[Amy Hepker]

I am sorry for your lose as well as hers. I feel that there were driving forces behind her decission though. It sounds to me that her mother and others have put it in her head that you never cared for her. We know this is the farthest thing from your heart. I have not transitioned and probably never will. But, I can see where outside sourses can influince young people. About all you can do is send a reply stating your Love for both her and her brother, and let them know you will always be there if they need you.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

I sent you a personal PM.

BUT know this........

I believe parental love is the closest to godlilove (okay if that is a word and I'm not even a Christian). But is it unconditional love in the purest form we can experience as humans. That said, love flows both ways and though she may have cut her love off I'd recommend you not do the same. If you do, you're validating her worst fears. Keep the communication open if it's only cards throughout the year. Let her know, you love her and that you are still her PARENT and because of that, you will never stop loving her.
Hugs
Kew

[sara_also]

I agree with Kewyncurvy. keep your options open on your end. Let them know that you are still around, and that the door is always open.

[Marcie Sexton]

You may never know it, but there will come a day when she will need you...You may have already left this life, but rest assured there will be that day...

Keep that in your heart and mind...and the unconditional love a parent has for their child/ren...

[keena]

You are the father and you have the bucks. She'll be back when she needs help, they always do.

[Deborah]

Ahh the English language is such a finicky thing.
My question then is that what you were trying to relay to her about being the victim and that your love for your children was less important?
I think i know the answer already i'm just checking. :)

[janedoe311]

I lost my father when I was 4. I am 56 and have always feel I was missing part of my life. ( I am still mad at him for getting is a car and running into a tree on a windy road,(my grandmother said he was drinking).


So she lost her father and is despondent. It would seem to me that being a father is more important than anything. At least it is for me.

Did you ever consider getting in DRAB and making seeing her?

[Stephenie S]

Dear Cindi,

Please keep the door open to your daughter.

She has a new child and a husband. There are now others in the mix.

My wifes' daughter once said we were not welcome in her house because we were not formally married. It turned out she was influenced by her father, a religious nut, who claimed it would poison his grandchildren to be exposed to an unmarried couple. We are now married, but I still get a motel when we go to visit. Hurts like these last a long time.

Don't close your daughter out, she may very well come around as she gets older. Please make it very clear that you love her and that she is ALWAYS welcome in your life.

Steph

[Kimberley]

Cindi,
I am so sorry to hear that this happened. Very sad, especially after all this time. This was unfair to everyone, first that she was unwilling to try and talk to you about her feelings and try to work out some sort of dialogue and secondly to just explode this bomb in one shot.

What I would do is send her an email telling her how you feel about her response. Then go on to tell her that a parent's love is unconditional for their child. Let her know she can contact you at any time and leave it at that.

We all know we cant change someone's values and it seems as though her opinions are rooted in values... hard to say though. Regardless, there is a lot of anger there.

:hugs: :hugs:
Kimberley

[pocoyo]

Ohh Cindi I am so sorry to hear that :(

As a transgendered person, and a person that has suffered from some hard-to-handle parental issues, I can sort of see both sides.

I felt sick for you, reading that though.

Perhaps if she had been more upfront before now you could have sorted something out that made her feel a lot happier. (It is hard to talk to/be open with a parental figure you're not completely sure of though).

Oh dear. Well I am sure that she DOES love you... (not someone that doesn't exist).
But perhaps if she really doesn't want contact with you for a while you'll have to respect that. I know it's heartbreaking but... you are the "adult" (parent) in this relationship... so I think that you have to put her feelings 1st to some degree.
But also she mustn't forget that you are a person with individual needs and wants too.

Wow I really can see both sides and it's a really tough one.

In my case, my dad (who bought me up and IS my dad) might not actually be my biological father... and the guy who might be is actually a really nice guy... but there are parts of him that aren't good for me... and even though I do like him a lot sometimes, it is easier for me in a lot of ways not to see him, because it makes me feel so confused and upset to be around him, especially out of loyalty to my dad.
But as a transgendered person I would like to believe that I can get on with my life and transition (if that's what I choose) and be able to live a happy and normal life, perhaps with children... who I wouldn't want to be at all disturbed or upset by me.


I think there is a solution... it is probably just a matter of time and understanding on both sides.
You could even get group counselling to really get to know how the other feels...

Sometimes it just is easier for children to not see a biological parent though. Especially if they weren't brought up with that parent.

But she might not be as "cold" as me. I suspect she does in fact love you very much and that's why she is so hurt. I guess she just longed for a daddy (I wonder does she has a step dad figure).

But you can be a great parent to her AND live your own life.

She may just be feeling some very confusing and intense emotions right now from reading your book. In time when things have sunk in, she could well have a change of heart and begin to understand a lot more.

I am so sorry for all the pain you are in :( I hope that you are all feeling much happier soon.
:love:

[Sierra Evon]

Sounds like sad times indeed for you , but however , I feel that in time she may come full circle for disowning you like that , her loss, I know a bit about what you are feeling and going thru too , my son , now a teen , does'nt want to see me , he's having issues with dealing with me , on a level like that too..
I wish you all the best of luck , !!!!!!!! :hugs:

[Andrea Nicole]

Cindi,
Life is all about choices. You chose yourself, not your family.
Hopefully she'll have a change of heart, but I've seen this way too many times to be optimistic. The hurt is much too deep for her.
Andi .....

[Di]

Please whatever you do....keep the lines open between the two of you if even if just writing her....expressing your love for her....I would not (for the time being) defend myself till she is ready for answers.....but for now let her know you are there for her...respects how she feels but in the same time tell her regardless you love her and always will. Time and her knowing you love her no matter what. Best Wishes. Di

[Sharon]

Because of the wording in your book, your daughter feels she is less loved by you than you possibly meant. Normally, children are number one in our hearts, no matter what, so I'll just assume you either made a mistake in your wording, or she misinterpreted what you meant. If you were correct in your wording..., well, I understand your daughter's feelings.

We are who we are, and there is a need for us to establish our true selves, not just for our own benefit, but, indirectly, for the benefit of those closest to us(if we are miserable, or worse, what good does it do anyone?).

Contact your daughter, and don't give up if she ignores you. Tell her that she(and her own child) and her brother mean more to you than anybody in this world, but you had to do what you had to do.

Good luck! :hugs:

[Maggie Kay]

Cindi,
It is better that you know her real feelings and that she got to express them to you. She has the pain of your absence and gave you some of that hurt. She can cut you off but I get the feeling that you do love her and that means she will know you are there for her if she gets over it. We all eventually figure out how alone we are in the world.

I have two adult children that have disowned to me but over a horrible divorce not TG. My ex poisoned them against me and refused to ever let me see them again. I was made the scapegoat and blamed for everything that they had to endure after the marriage dissolved. I haven't seen a picture of them in fifteen years. A few years ago, I got an angry phone call from my daughter causing me to have severe chest pain for days after. The girl just wanted to let me have it. Her brother refuses to talk to me. They are in their twenties and have told me that they do not want to know my side of the story. The little that they know makes their mother look like she denied them their father, which is exactly what she did. I pray that someday truth will be revealed to them because it is for their own good. However, now that TG has entered the picture, I have deeper fears of their return. I have always loved them and still want the best for them.

Compared to my situation, I would say that you could have hope that the bond you had with your daughter will bring her back someday. You told her the truth. That counts a lot. She can say it is a lie but eventually, lies are exposed and truth will come out. Then she will know that she wasn't lied to. If you have love for her, it will show through. Give her all the time she needs and try to take the hurt and forgive.

[Scotty]

I'm sorry you had to go through that :(

I don't hang out m uch anymore for much of the same reasons except my duaghter is much younger and needs her daddy. So while I can never transform I live in the closet and actually prefer it that way - it's very private for me and I've gone back to that.

Experiences like yours may be painful, but if there's a divine power, and I believe there is, it may be that pain which lets those of us NOT transformed to really think over what would happen..

I hope you can mend this with her, it may take time so be patient.

[Holly]

Cindi, this is so tragic. Perhaps someday your daughter will understand that you had no choice in the matter. Maybe she will realize that not having you there was actually better for her and her brother than you being there and miserable. Maybe she will grasp the concept of the sacrifice you made by not being there and being an emotional burden to the family. Only time will tell, but as many of the others have said, now is not the time to let your love of her falter. Please let her know that no matter what what, she will always be your daughter and that your love for her will continue unabated. You and your children will be in my prayers. :hugs:

[princessmichelle]

I'm hoping for renewed empathy and communication, eventually.

But right now it hurts. Very much.

Take care,

Michelle

[marie rose]

Cindi, thank you for sharing this very personal part of your life with the forum. My heart goes out to you girl and I will probably think of you tonight. However on a positive note you have provided a reality check for some of us on the verge. It's stories like yours that keep me grounded enough to not go the final step even though there are times I feel I must to keep my sanity.

I'm a retired senior with 3 children and grandchildren. I love them all dearly and I believe I would sooner die than do anything to jeopardize my relationship with them or my wife. In the future whenever the anquish becomes nearly unbearable I'll reread your message which I hope will give me comfort and strength to carry on as I have done for the past 60 odd years.

Who said life is fair. It certainly is not.

[Shellybean]

I sent you a personal PM.

BUT know this........

I believe parental love is the closest to godlilove (okay if that is a word and I'm not even a Christian). But is it unconditional love in the purest form we can experience as humans. That said, love flows both ways and though she may have cut her love off I'd recommend you not do the same. If you do, you're validating her worst fears. Keep the communication open if it's only cards throughout the year. Let her know, you love her and that you are still her PARENT and because of that, you will never stop loving her.
Hugs
Kew

there is no parchment,law,rule,declaration or outcry that can erase the bond between parent and child. it is beyond thier comprehension.

[Lauren B]

I couldn't imagine what it felt like to have read that letter. I'm sorry you had to go through that. But, IMO it is best that it's all out there and in the open- at least healing can start now.

I agree with everyone who said to keep the lines of communication open. If I were you, I'd write one more e-mail, telling her that you respect her pain, you love her unconditionally, and whenever she is ready to talk, you'll be there, and then leave it at that (for as hard as that will be). This has obviously been bubbling underneath the surface with her for a number of years, and she won't come back around overnight, either.

[KewTnCurvy GG]

there is no parchment,law,rule,declaration or outcry that can erase the bond between parent and child. it is beyond thier comprehension.

Well I disagree. My father was a fairly horrible person--though I try to hold onto the good stuff--since his death I've felt nothing but relief. Also, my family are the LAST people I have ever turned to for ANYTHING! So, not all of us feel as you do. I have NEVER been able to count on them when I've needed them for ANYTHING--be it emotional or physical. Your truth is not everyone's truth.
Kew

[kittypw GG]

I think you would be making a mistake if you let this be all about your gender transition. If she was really young when you made the transition, she would have been more accepting if you had really been there for her as a parent. I got the impression that her pain stems from a lack of your presence rather than the fact that you are not her "father" any longer.

I agree that you should keep the communication open. Send cards on their birthdays and special occations. Give without expecting anything in return. She needs to know that whatever you lacked before you are willing to provide now. Kitty

[Siobhan Marie]

Cindi, I'm so very sorry to hear that, To echo what some of the others have said, keep the lines of communication open between you and your daughter. She might come round or she might not, ultimately that's her decision.

:hugs: Anna Marie x

[Shellybean]

I am sorry if I struck a chord, however there is no need for hostility and chastisement. I get that every day from everyone i meet on the street or a work. You may hate your father and he may hate you, but that still does not change the fact that he is the person that helped to bring you into the world, you feelings cannot change your genes no matter how hard you want them too. If that were the case all of us would istantly be women...not.
so please confine your hostility
thx
michelle

[Deborah]

Don'tcha hate it when the original poster doesn't update?

[KewTnCurvy GG]

I am sorry if I struck a chord, however there is no need for hostility and chastisement. I get that every day from everyone i meet on the street or a work. You may hate your father and he may hate you, but that still does not change the fact that he is the person that helped to bring you into the world, you feelings cannot change your genes no matter how hard you want them too. If that were the case all of us would istantly be women...not.
so please confine your hostility
thx
michelle
Sorry but this is a hot button for me. Whatever "hostility" you perceived is not directed per se at you but at this issue of "blood is thicker than water". However, I don't want to hijack a thread so we'll end it here. No bad feelings whatsoever, just clarifying fact.

And yes Deborah, I wish she would come back.
Sent her a pm as well.

Kew

[Sarahgurl371]

Cindi I am very sorry to hear about you and your daughter's relationship. I guess I get her point, it just doesn't sound as if see grasps what this does to a person. Obviously you didn't have it any way close to the way you wanted it back then, and had to make a change. Maybe someday she will come to understand the struggle you dealt with, still deal with, all those years ago, and will choose to forgive. There is always hope. Reading your book empahsized that to me.

[claireswife-gg]

I agree with kittypw. And definately keep in contact and don't expect anything in return. She'll hopefully surprise you one day.

[kittypw GG]

Cindi I am very sorry to hear about you and your daughter's relationship. I guess I get her point, it just doesn't sound as if see grasps what this does to a person. Obviously you didn't have it any way close to the way you wanted it back then, and had to make a change. Maybe someday she will come to understand the struggle you dealt with, still deal with, all those years ago, and will choose to forgive. There is always hope. Reading your book empahsized that to me.

Tammy,
Put yourself in her shoes. Where in her father's struggles were the parts where her and her brother were seriously considered? Were there details about what the impact would be for them? Look she read his book didn't she? I felt that she wanted to read that she and her brother were heavily considered when the decisions were being made. They were children who lost a parent (It was obvious from the letter that he just plain wasn't there). I mean lost is lost wether or not he changed genders.

You know how does a child grasp the struggles that a transexual goes through when you don't include and consider their feelings and just plain abandon them?

I don't think all is lost though. Just put yourself in the children's shoes. Start by appologizing and empathizing with how it might have felt for them. Show her that you really don't just think of yourself. You kind of owe it to them, they are human beings that you created and gave life to. Your actions will speak volumes. Continue to communicate and love them without expecting anything in return and don't give up. She will come around but it may take some time. Good luck.

[Siobhan Marie]

Tammy,
Put yourself in her shoes. Where in her father's struggles were the parts where her and her brother were seriously considered? Were there details about what the impact would be for them? Look she read his book didn't she? I felt that she wanted to read that she and her brother were heavily considered when the decisions were being made. They were children who lost a parent (It was obvious from the letter that he just plain wasn't there). I mean lost is lost wether or not he changed genders.

You know how does a child grasp the struggles that a transexual goes through when you don't include and consider their feelings and just plain abandon them?

I don't think all is lost though. Just put yourself in the children's shoes. Start by appologizing and empathizing with how it might have felt for them. Show her that you really don't just think of yourself. You kind of owe it to them, they are human beings that you created and gave life to. Your actions will speak volumes. Continue to communicate and love them without expecting anything in return and don't give up. She will come around but it may take some time. Good luck.

Tammy, I have to agree with Kitty on this one as she is so right.

:hugs: Anna Marie x

[Felix]

I really feel for ya hun, :hugs: :hugs: I haven't had contact with my eldest son for six years. I knew the risks when I came out but I still went ahead. I just hope that one day he will want to get in touch again and we can build some sort of relationship again. I'm just so grateful that my youngest son and my So's son are fully informed and accepting of our alternative lifestyle. They both know I like to dress like a boy and don't really have issue with it and if they ask things I will explain what needs to be known and no more. So good luck hun cos I can definitely relate to what ya sayin xx Felix :hugs:

[Lisa Maren]

Oh, Cindi...

*big hug* I'm so sorry. We are always here for you when you need us. It is a sad problem that many of us face this kind of "ending" of beloved relationships. I fear losing my parents or one or more of my siblings when/if I come out to them or if they found out the hard way.

I can only hope and pray that perhaps she wrote the letter in an upset state of mind and that things might get better.

Do you think it would help if you wrote one last letter just pouring out how you love her and her family, pouring out how you know and understand it's difficult for everyone and understand if she needs some space and including plenty of reassurance that you didn't choose anyone or anything over her or her family?

Hugs,
Lisa

[Girlieboy]

Dearest Cindi,

My heart goes out to you, babe. I have the strongest feeling that, now your beloved daughter has got her feelings off her chest, she just might evaluate the whole situation. Trust me on this. It may take time, but I just know that, one day, you will get a phone call out of the blue from her. She has not actually disowned you, Cindi: she just does not yet know how to deal with the situation.

Be patient (I know it's hard) but your patience will be rewarded. It will take time, as I have said - and this time will be hard and upsetting for you - but there is light at the end of the tunnel. Trust me on this. If in the meantime you would like a shoulder, do please feel free to message me.

Love,

Diane XX

[Samantha Lough]

I agree with Kitty whole heartedly and in fact I also side with the daughter by the way the excert from her book states there is only one way to read it she choose something over and above her children. I am a father and that is why I do not transition. even though I would be a happier person. but my love for my son makes it so that i have top put his welfare above my own. Now I understand why KewTncurvey has her feeling and I have the same for my bio dad. sorry I have deep feeling on both issues and well this is not the thread for it.
I am sorry it happened to Cindi but I also understand her daughters feeling
Samantha

[cindianna_jones]

I've been off line a while trying to sort through all of this. Thank you everyone for your loving support. Yes, I have tried to be as much a part of her life as I could be as she grew up. But the great physical distance (800 miles) and the difficulties in dealing with our Mormon culture were too great to overcome.

I do empathize completely with what she has to say. I understand. I will post my response to her in another thread.

Cindi

[MJ]

god Cindi

my heart goes out to you , i am in the same boat my children say the same thing and that dad died two years ago .. and i am right here !!! i know how that hurts i wish i could give you a :hugs: in person but this will have to do :hugs:
please hold your head up high and be proud of who you are you did what you had to do , as did I

[joanlynn28]

Cindi and MJ I can relate with you both. I have three step children myself done of whom want anything to do with me. The two oldest disown me and the youngest one feels that I betrayed her for being me. The worst is that I have four step grandchilden and the youngest one I have never seen. So much for christian love towards one another (all of them went to christian schools and the father still has influence on all of them)

[AmberTG]

I hope this isn't too far off topic here but...., Christian love only extends as far as other "normal" christians that fit the standard mould. It does not include anyone who does not follow the prescribed path, unless you are raised in an open and affirming church, which most seem not to be. If Cindi's kids were raised in the Morman faith and believe the teachings without questions, it will be VERY hard to get through to them. The mind is much like a parachute, it only works well if it's open. A closed mind is very difficult to get through to about anything that goes against what was taught at a young age. There is also the question of what her kids' mother told the kids while they were growing up. It's very easy to poison a child's mind against a parent who isn't there. It happens so much in divorces, it's one of the biggest reasons that children of divorce are so screwed up. The one parent is always talking bad about the other parent to the kids. It's used as a weapon against the other parent, never taking the kid's feelings into account. When you add TG issues into the mix, the other parent really has some powerful ammo against the TG person.
I hope Cindi's daughter will eventually come around, but there's just so much baggage that she's been carrying around because of her mother and her religion that it may not ever happen. That's a sad truth about this.

[kittypw GG]

I hope this isn't too far off topic here but...., Christian love only extends as far as other "normal" christians that fit the standard mould. It does not include anyone who does not follow the prescribed path, unless you are raised in an open and affirming church, which most seem not to be. If Cindi's kids were raised in the Morman faith and believe the teachings without questions, it will be VERY hard to get through to them. The mind is much like a parachute, it only works well if it's open. A closed mind is very difficult to get through to about anything that goes against what was taught at a young age. There is also the question of what her kids' mother told the kids while they were growing up. It's very easy to poison a child's mind against a parent who isn't there. It happens so much in divorces, it's one of the biggest reasons that children of divorce are so screwed up. The one parent is always talking bad about the other parent to the kids. It's used as a weapon against the other parent, never taking the kid's feelings into account. When you add TG issues into the mix, the other parent really has some powerful ammo against the TG person.
I hope Cindi's daughter will eventually come around, but there's just so much baggage that she's been carrying around because of her mother and her religion that it may not ever happen. That's a sad truth about this.


Sorry Amber this sounds like a cop out and an excuse to not try. Children grow up you know and make their own decisions. My son is very angry with his grandmother right now because he figured out that she was always trying to make me look bad to him. This is because we stayed close to eachother and I did not put grandma down. He figured it out. There might be some bumpy or low spots in a relationship between a child and parent but if you hang in there and try it will make all of the difference. They grow up and understand what the score really was. That is why Cindi's daughter is having trouble cause her "dad" just abandonded her and didn't stay close and caring.
You know when something is emotionally difficult it is easy to avoid taking action and make up excuses for your lack of dealing with it. Sorry but being a post op transexual is not an excuse to abandon the family you created. For the sake of the children you find a way even if they are now adults.

There is nothing on the planet that can break a bond between a child and parent, not religion or money or gender, Just bad parenting.

Kitty

[cindianna_jones]

I will never give up on her. And even though she has asked me not to contact her, I'll do every little thing that I can whenever I can to get a message to her.

I'll pass messages through other family members, I'll continuously ask after her, I'll send her greeting cards for Christmas and birthdays. And most of all, I will always love her.

I'll never understand it all. I know that I won't. But that won't keep me from expressing my hope and love.

Cindi

[Victoria Anne]

Oh my dear Cindi I am so sorry,there is a tear in my eye for you. I don't know what I can say that has not already been said.I can tell you this however from my own experience which comes from both sides of your problem with your daughter.Never ever give up on her,let her know you will always love her and her brother and will always be there for them.Let her know all she has to do is call and you will be there but you do need to respect her wishes as this could worsen the problem if you don't. You will be in my prayers, I wish you both the very best and warmest wishes for a speedy solution.:hugs: Victoria Anne