Have you ever felt threatened?

[lowlavalentine]

One of the big worries my wife has about me going out en femme is that somehow I'll be attacked or come to some harm. My experience both out alone or with cd friends is that it is generally safe if you show good judgement.

Despite that, I have felt vulnerable on rare occasions. One time many years ago I literally was chased back to my car by two guys. Scared the hell out of me at the time. Fortunately I can run fast, even in heels.

Has anyone been threatened or harassed while out?

Lowla

[NatalieGirl]

I suppose it could happen.

But remember that under the dresses and pantyhose, we are still men, and we can kick some ass if it comes down to it.

[Trisha]

i cant say i have i dont fear no man nor beast never have done and never will :D

[Robin Leigh]

Several times, but not for many years. I was only verbally taunted & chased, but they never caught me. The worst time was in broad daylight, but it was in a fairly rough neighbourhood. That suburb is now one of the gay/trans havens of Sydney, but it still has a rough element.

Robin

[Kate Simmons]

Nope, they know my rep as a tomboy who eats nails, so they know better.;) :heehee:

[Stephenie S]

Welcome to the world of women. This is something most women have to contend with ALL the time. When was the last time you remember being harrassed by a group of women? Ask ANY woman when she was last harrassed by a group of men. 'Nuff said.

Stephenie

[MJ]

being full time i can say that for two years now i have not had any trouble when i go to the bars with my gg friends sometimes i get "hit on as in getting picked up " that's scary and the part i hate the most

[Melinda G]

I've never felt threatened. A couple times a car pulled to the curb, and tried to pick me up, but I just ignored it and continued walking, and the car drove off. If you stay out of bad neighborhoods, you should be all right.

[Deidra Cowen]

Yeap have felt threatened before..at a Waffle House late at night by like 10 guys and then once 3 gay guys got real nasty with me at a club called Le Buzz. Well...also I was very uncomfortable at a straightbar once when a guy playing the guitar and entertaining the crowd referred to me and another Tgirl as ********. I hauled butt outta there just a bit later!

I try to always be observant and have learned there are limits to where a Tgirl that is not passable can go. So late nite diners for example or a wild straight bar with a redneck young crowd are out! :eek:

As far as the gay bar where I had troubles security came and stood behind me so I was ok there.

[Sharon]

I had one incident about 18 months ago(I didn't fare well), but if you can stay away from isolated places(or away from groups of teenage boys!) you should feel safe if you go out. Contrary to instinct, the more crowded a place is, the safer you should feel.

[JoAnnDallas]

I am a second degree black belt. Do you know what can pain I can inflict with 1/4 inch or 1/2 inch wide, 3.5" high heels.

[Karren H]

Nope... Never had that experience... Nothing even close...

Karren

[hotbobbie]

I have never had any problems out and i am 24 7.But up here in the northwest we are a lot more live and let live

[Sierra Evon]

I suppose it could happen.

But remember that under the dresses and pantyhose, we are still men, and we can kick some ass if it comes down to it.

I'm always ready to dance if someone wants to go that route !!!!!!! :heehee:

[Angie G]

Only been out on Halloween no problum then :hugs:
Angie

[Lucille]

A Thai-Boxer kick will drive anyone away (or to the ground).. especially when they think they are facing just an "harmless" girl :tongueout

[Joy Carter]

One of the big worries my wife has about me going out en femme is that somehow I'll be attacked or come to some harm. My experience both out alone or with cd friends is that it is generally safe if you show good judgement.

Despite that, I have felt vulnerable on rare occasions. One time many years ago I literally was chased back to my car by two guys. Scared the hell out of me at the time. Fortunately I can run fast, even in heels.

Has anyone been threatened or harassed while out?

Lowla


Lets just say I'm always a lady unless provoked.



:naughty :bringiton: :Punch: :beatup: :evilbegon :gn:

[SherriePall]

I have only been out during the day. And I usually stick to "safe" places like shoe stores and dress shops and such. I do, however, keep my wits about me and keep my eyes open in the same manner as I understand GG's must do all the time. Afterall, if I am perceived as a woman, then I must be just as aware of my surroundings as a woman must.

[Missy Anne]

It doesn't hurt to have your two friends, Mr. Smith and Mr. Wesson accompany you.

Missy Anne

[Amy Hepker]

While out walking around many years ago, I had a car load of guys slow way down and look at me, it was at night. It did make me watch behind myself and everywhere else too. Nothing ever happened. Why? I don't know. I was about 6 blocks from home and safety. Could have been a bad scene, I did have my knife handy though.

[linnea]

I have felt very uneasy on a few occasions, but I'm pretty cautious. I certainly don't look for trouble.
On two particular occasions I felt as though I might have some trouble that made me want to find safety quickly. Once instance occurred in a department store--Macy's--when I was browsing through some clothes and a couple came up behind me. They were Hispanic and the man said to the woman that I was an "hombre." I understand enough Spanish to know what he said and that his wife told him to settle down, but his tone was definitely hostile. I was worried that he would cause a scene and do something--I couldn't really imagine what--to me or about me. His wife prevailed and they kept going past me.
The other occasion occurred quite a few years ago when I was dress and out for a walk near my home. I was walking on a fairly quite street about a quarter mile from my house. As I walked, a car with three or four young guys in it passed me. It was just after night fall on a weekend evening. They honked at me as they went by. I was a little surprised since I wasn't trying to get any attention; however, what really unsettled me was that they turned around about a block farther and drove back toward me. I panicked and thought quickly that I needed to find "shelter." I turned up a walk way leading to a house in the neighbor, trying to give the impression that it was my house. The guys drove by and honked again.
I waited a few minutes and then went back to the roadway with the intention of getting home as soon as possible. As I got about half-way home, they came back. They passed by a little slowly and one of the guys called to me to ask if I wanted a ride. I just kept going and duck into an alley that gave me a quick route back to my house--thank goodness that I knew the neighborhood. I didn't look back to see if they turned around again, but I definitely felt scared.
Having described all of that, I have to add that I was in great physical shape then and that I was an exceptional high school and collegiate wrestler (state championship caliber). If these guys had really pushed me, I probably could have "taken care of myself." But that's certainly NOT what I wanted then nor now, especially when I'm presenting myself as a woman.



I suppose it could happen.

But remember that under the dresses and pantyhose, we are still men, and we can kick some ass if it comes down to it.

[EricaCD]

Never. Of course my fem time is limited to cities that are pretty tolerant: NYC, SF, LA, Vegas. And, of course, the fact that I am 6'3" might have something to do with it: lousy for passability, good for not being victimized?

[ArleneRaquel]

So far for me it has only been name calling. It has been always a group of young men or teenage boys, sometimes in a car or sometimes walking on the sidewalk in a small 3 -4 group. It has happenend to me on a dozen or so occasions, none in the last six months. " Fag " , and " Drag Queen ", are their favorite epithets :love: & :hugs: Trina - So - Far So - Good

[noname]

Most threatening thing was a group of contruction workers in a fast food restraunt. They didn't say anything, but they kepts looking at me with a look of, let's pound this guy. But they couldn't do crap in a restraunt. Well, not without some real consequences.

In regards to your wifes worries. I say broad daylight is the safest. Shopping stores, grocery stores and the like. Others here will say to find a cd friendly night club. But night time and clubs and people drinking just does not strike me as good combo.

[Brianna Lovely]

I had just come out of a local convenience store and was standing on the sidewalk, calling my salon for a nail appointment. I was in semi-drab, above the knee denim skirt, fem top, earrings, lipstick, mascara, jewelry, purse, hot pink nail polish, and fem sandals.

A man parked his car in front of me, got out and was walking towards me, when he said, "You can't defend yourself, with your nails like that".

I had just finished my call, so I closed my cell phone, looked straight at him, and said, "Well, honey, I'll just have to b*tch slap you then, won't I". He stopped walking toward me, backed up and went around the other side of his car and into the store.

Was I nervous? Yes, but I was not going to let him bully me either.

[Lanore]

Because certain parts of my body stand out, there have been a couple of situations where I thought things might get a bit out of hand. However, knowing my pepper spray was only an arms length away, gave me the confidence everything was going to be ok, at least for me.

Lanore

[btmgrl6]

Name calling, only one physical threat,and that was from my own stepfather....I am careful, but I go wherever and whenever I want.
They can kill me but they can't eat me!

Steph

[crusadergirl]

I'm really not worried about being attacked are someone calling me names that stuff has already happened to me in guy mode. I'm in pretty good shape and i love to fight ppl who mess with me. Like i have said be for fighting is my passion. I train to be a grappler are you could say a wrestler so weather i'm a girl are a guy, i'm ready for anything they can throw at me.
But it ain't easy fighting in a skirt.

[noname]

I've had a guys act intimidating, or look very very angery. Even when wearing womens jeans with painted toes. But both times I was in a very public place, so all they could do was sit there angery giving me nasty stares.

Nothing bad has ever happened to me. One thing I do go out is broad day light and lots of people. While it takes guts I believe it is the safest way to be. I believe someone is less likely to assult me or cause me harm with a group of people around. Which is why I don't understand people going out to clubs late a night, or early morning walks. What is boils down to is if someone wants to harm you, and they think they can get away with it, they just might try it.

[Colleentg]

I was heading into a TG friendly nightclub and two guys followed closely behind. Luckily I got in, because they didn't intend to come in. They waited outside. I told two bouncers about it, they both chased them off the property. Now I don't worry so much, because I blend in better.

[trannie T]

I've received one rude comment while walking down a sidewalk at night, never felt the least bit threatened. Just in case I carry a little container of pepper spray.

[Carin's Wife GG]

by God NO ONE is going after her if I am there! We live in CA (Bay Area0 so I think maybe less problematic than many other places.




Louise. (GG)

[Mitzi]

Except for this incident, I've never faced any threats while en femme.

But the mention of construction workers reminded me of the time two older "gurls", both in their 70's, came back from a walk all excited. They certainly could never pass, but they didn't care and enjoyed their walks. This one time they came back all aflush, they'd passed by some construction workers taking a lunch break, and got whistled and hooted at...:D

Mitzi

[carolinebrookes]

Having read through the posts on this subject, I'm dismayed to find that that at least a couple of girls carry either a gun or knife. Invariably, it's the weapon holder who often comes off second best.
I'm lucky enough to live in the UK, specifically Scotland, where I know with a degree of confidence that guns and knives aren't carried (Thank goodness!)
It's sad that these girls feel that they have to carry weapons.

I'm not saying that we don't have guns and knives on the streets of the UK, because that would be naive thinking like that. I suppose, a girl has to do what she has to do.

I know that girls have to think about safety when they go out, as I was attacked a couple of years back. Luckily I had my briefcase with me and gave the mugger a good wallop around the head with it. He ran off and I ended up staying inside for over a year.

It did shake me mentally that this happened to me and now I am so careful when I go out and about. Daylight is definately best. The problem with that is that, daylight doesn't hide the faults in my makeup!:heehee:

[TV Wannabe]

My Sifu (thats a Kung Fu instructor) used to say "that its better to be tried by 12 than carried by 6", and I totally agree with the larg # of hate crimes in the U.S. I would definitely carry some sort of weapon or at least carry some martial arts expierience with me if I went out en fem.

[Lovely Rita]

I have been followed and that was scarry enough to make me really be careful about planning my outtings. It was really scarry.

[Stephenie S]

ANY time you are presenting as a woman you will be subject to stares, catcalls, and other invasions of your "space". This happens to GGs ALL THE TIME. And guess who is doing it? MEN. Men who think it's alright to generally harrass women with very little thought as to how it might feel to be harrassed.

Now the shoe is on the other foot, so to speak. How does it feel? It feels a little scary doesn't it? As you all know, being men, 99% of this harrassment is perfectly harmless male posturing behavior. But it doesn't feel very harmless to the recipient now does it?

Add to the above the fact that ANY woman seen walking alone at night can be seen as "working", and you have a scary situation for the woman. Don't walk alone at night. Cops and drunks will see you as a "working woman" and therefor pay you MUCH more attention than you might want.

And the next time you are tempted to let loose a appreciative remark or whistle, just think about how it might make someone else feel.

Lovies,
Stephenie

[Julie York]

I am a second degree black belt. Do you know what can pain I can inflict with 1/4 inch or 1/2 inch wide, 3.5" high heels.

That's a self defence lesson I'd liked to have watched.:D :D








"Today Grasshopper......"

[GACountrygal]

I probably should keep my yap shut, but I am gonna respond just the same.





Having read through the posts on this subject, I'm dismayed to find that that at least a couple of girls carry either a gun or knife. Invariably, it's the weapon holder who often comes off second best.

There is nothing wrong with carrying a weapon of ANY kind. Heck, you could carry a ball point pen and be lethal with it. Its all with what each individual is comfortable using.

I carry a gun everywhere that I legally can. I always have a loaded pistol within arms reach at home.

If you know how to use the weapon you carry, and are proficient with it, it can be a valuable tool and someday save your life.

I wouldnt hesitate to put several holes into a person if I feared for my life or the life and safety of my kids.

:2c:


Firearms arent for everyone. To Each Her Own.

Nicole

[lowlavalentine]

The weapons and knives talk is interesting.

Guns scare me. In my state of Wisconsin there is currently a debate over whether properly trained and authorized citizens should have the right to carry a concealed loaded weapon. I have seen the arguments from the NRA stating that in the hands of a well trained and practiced person they can be an effective deterent. I've also seen the argument that by introducing a gun into an environment you create a high risk enviroment where the risk of injury to you or a family member is actually increased.

I still have to think that good judgement as to where and when you go out is a more effective and less violent tool.

On the other hand I always carry a knife - for peeling apples.

Lowla

[Syuviel]

once or twice... ive nbody has ever actually come after me though.

[Alyshia121]

Hey, whatever ya gotta do...

[Christina Nicole]

No, never felt threatened. Last week was the closest I came to a weirdo. I was driving home while dressed doing 65mph in the right lane when some guy (icky disgusting guy) pulled next to me and started pacing me and looking at me. After a while, I dropped back to 55 mph. He dropped back, too and kept pace and looking. I pushed back to 65, then 75, then 85. Still kept pace, so at the next exit I pulled off the highway. He didn't follow. Another minute and I might have called the state police. Still I wasn't concerned, but just annoyed. If worst came to worst, my Navigator outweighed his little car by a good ton and a half.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[RobertaFermina]

I was harassed by a drunk once.
I learned that a pubic display of masculinity (ripping of wig and glaring at the fellow) doesn't work if the bloke is drunk.
Alerting the bouncer did work.

I did not feel immediately threatened, though my good-time buzz was fatally wounded for the night.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[candice]

yes lowla on a couple of occasions i have noticed that I was being followed while out shopping. It makes you very nervous not knowing why a man is following you. You just hope they go away which in my cases they eventually did.

[Mariah]

Nope but then most men dont come near us when we are out mainly becuse of the duel 40 glocks that I carry (and 2 9mm for backup ;) ) ja love having a conseld GOV gun perimet. *^_^

Hopes to you all
Keris

[cdmich]

Have only been out a couple of times and no problem but thats because I went to bars etc that are OK with us crossdressers.

[AERIN]

One night I wandered into a bad neighborhood in Allentown , Pa and was followed by a gang of street toughs. When it seemd as though I was a goner, lost and disoriented, just in the enick of time, an Iranian Cabby pulled up in his Yellow cab and said, "Quick Jump In". Needless to say he saved my virginity LOL. I tipped him well (hee hee) and he drove me to the club. Later at closing he was waiting for me and took me back to my car 5 blocks away.
We meet from time to time at another club and socialize.

[Melanie R]

Has anyone been threatened or harassed while out?

Lowla[/QUOTE]

I think everyone who goes out in public enfemme should take a self defense class. Earlier this month at our Houston Tri-Ess chapter meeting, a local TS who is a master in martial arts taught us how to defend ouraelves if attached.
I hope I never have to use what I learned. I have to say that going out enfemme for 27 years in all parts of the US and many countries I have never had a problem - knock on wood.

[Diane CDN]

A number of years ago in a club a guy walked up to me and decided it was his right to grab and fondle my crotch. He was considerably larger than myself and I felt somewhat helpless...I did manage to push him away....next time I'll call security or the police ......

Diane

[Sheri 4242]

. . . I usually stick to "safe" places (and) . . . I do, however, keep my wits about me and keep my eyes open in the same manner as I understand GG's must do all the time . . . I must be just as aware of my surroundings as a woman must.

Lowla,

You hit the nail squarely on the head when you said that a key to safety in going out en femme is to "show good judgement." Sherrie was adding to that same line of reasoning when she said you must keep your wits and your eyes open, and be aware of your surroundings.

I personally feel fairly safe when I go out for several resons. First, I am careful about where I go and am constantly trying to be keenly aware of my surroundings -- that's just common sense for any girl in a miniskirt, right?!! LOL I also am trained in hand-to-hand using two of the martial arts, I carry a combo of mace/pepper spray in my purse, and, as Missy Anne said, there is always Misters Smith & Wesson (and you could add to that stun guns -- h'mmm they might have a dual use -- LOL). I try and always be prepared -- I have two sets of keys in my purse -- if I am at a hotel, I take two room keys (and check them both before I leave) -- it is all about being prepared and being aware!!!

Despite all of my preparations, I have felt very vulnerable at times -- like many a GG has said they have felt when out clubing in a sexy outfit!!! You can get to feeling very vulnerable when a small group of guys start giving you wolf whistles and try and get you to come over to them!!! This has happened to me a few times. (It sure makes you understand what our GGs have to put up with, though!!!) I have just ignored them and all was fine except one time when a GG's bf showed up rather drunk and itching for a fight. I think he just wanted to use the fact that his gf was out with a CD as a reason to fight. I had to put him down, pulled out a defensive weapon that seemed to sober him up b/c he took flight. That was 20-plus years ago in Savannah, Ga. -- and I'd say given where we were, it was a rare exception and not the rule. I've never had a problem there since, although my favoite places to go out en femme are Jacksonville and Ft. Lauderdale, southward.

Another time, two guys approached me and a GG, and I began to tense up. They, however, were transgendered themselves and just wanted to compliment me on my being out and to say they liked my outfit.