cd avoid explosion?

[princessmichelle]

Hi all,

I want to cd more in private, but I'm afraid to.

I'm afraid that cd-ing more will make me want to cd even more than that. And I can't do that because I can't cd all the time (job, family). But it is a dilemma because therapist suggests that NOT cd-ing just increases the tension and can lead to an implosion. I don't want to implode, of course.

Have people here experienced less or more stress if they cd more often? Less or more wishing they were the opposite gender? Less or more desire to crossdress?

As it is I'm in this vicious cycle of wanting to cd more but being afraid to (even in private) so I stress out even more about cd-ing. But if I cd more I'm afraid it could backfire. As it is I'm in this vicious cycle of wanting to cd more and being afraid to ...

Michelle

[Andrea Nicole]

What do you mean by "job, family"....doesn't your wife know....and are you planning in walking into worked dressed......????

[stlmichelle]

I haven't fully dressed in a long time, I find the best way to relieve the stress is simply underdress. Very frequently I have on panties and pantyhose under my regular guy clothes. I don't hide from my wife, but I do have to hide from my children. But it usually takes the edge off.

[Alice B]

Since I came out of the closet, so to speak, the urge to dress is much stronger, but I realize the time or chances I have are somewhat limited. I do find that I get tense, but just find another release to rid the tension. I might swim, play or practice my golf, etc. The main thing is to get out of the house and do something physical. For example, today (Thursday) is my normal day to fully dress for the entire day. My wife knows and is OK with it because she is at work and works late. However, friends from out of town showed up and are staying with us for a week. It will not get the chance for two weeks. Tense-Yes. Frustrated-Yes. Playing and practice my golf-Yes. You just have to adjust and find a substute for the time being. You'll live.:heehee:

[marie354]

Since my SO has allowed me to dress freely, and I have almost 24/7 now, I'm almost completely stress-free. Life will always have it's ups & downs, but I think that a lot of my stress was caused by not being able to dress. My SO says that I was always holding it within myself and that is not good for anyone's mental health.
I lead a much less stressful life now, even if I haven't gone outside dressed yet. (I'm sure that will be stressfull the first time.)

[princessmichelle]

What do you mean by "job, family"....doesn't your wife know....and are you planning in walking into worked dressed......????
Family tolerates, not approves. Job--not sure I want to find out the hard way. But there are times that I can cd--in and out of the house. But before I try to find more times and places to cd, I need to ask whether it is a good idea to at all.

"will cd-ing more just leave me wanting even more?"

Michelle

[Marcie Sexton]

I'm a little confused by parts of your post...but I can relate to one part...the implosion...

I/we< my wife> went through the same thing...tense and llike a couple of pit bulls at each others throat...After much discussion and a lot of love and understanding, we now share all of our lives...

[Trisha]

i feel and get moor stressed if i dont crossdress i build up tention than explode and dont know why but i dont care to find out :D

[Karren H]

Well for one I never wanted to be the opposite sex!!! And if you have the urge, not acting on it will lead to and increase in that urge... And if you enjoy crossdressing at home that's great but you may get caught in the slipery slope where you want to do more and more and go out enfemme....

So I'd say go ahead and crossdress in private... But to be safe, never log back on this site ever again.... Else it will get you on the path to the slipery slope.... The who knows!!! SRS.... Hehe

Love Karren

[Sweet Susan]

I must agree with Karen. The only way to avoid dressing more is to visit this site less. We tend to urge each other on. Having said that, I can only say that the worst thing you can do is deny yourself. What can possible be wrong with wearing a pair of panties on occasion? Likewise, the more you dress the more you will dress. It's just too much fun to be denied.

[Teresa Amina]

Explode? A little more than a year ago I found myself for the first time truly able to indulge my urge to dress completely. It was a bit of an explosion but that's no surprise as I had been fighting the increasing tension for a long time. I'm in far better shape now mentally than before since I'm not wasting energy with the task of suppression and am gaining a positive outlook that is quite profound. Suppession may cause implosion but I really don't think indulging the urge to dress will cause you to book a flight to Thailand for srs :D

[SandyR]

I agree, delete that membership, run, run fast. Do it now! This place is great, and if what you want is to come out then stick around.......

SandyR

[RobertaFermina]

The more I CD the more I want to. Dance, and dance, and karaoke, and clubbing and shopping, mostly on my own gets old. I need company. So I will always want "more" and it will never be "enough."

I'm visualizing shifting what I do, so that clubbing and shopping is half or less of what I do (I still love it!), and something more meaningful fills the rest of the time. That could be volunteering or deepening friendships, introducing myself as an alter-ego at church, and with my family, maybe a part time job? (wouldn't that be a hoot?).

It is kinda scary, and already has had some negative feedback as consequences..and plenty of positive ones too....no one said this is going to be easy!

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[MJ]

i
feel and get moor stressed if i don't cross dress i build up tension than explode and don't know why but i don't care to find out :D

me too and thats what happened to me sooner or later this cding thing well drive you crazy..
you say quote :- I'm afraid that cd-ing more will make me want to cd even more than that. And I can't do that because I can't cd all the time (job, family). But it is a dilemma because therapist suggests that NOT cd-ing just increases the tension and can lead to an implosion. I don't want to implode, of course.

princessmichelle who or what are you ? when you find the answer you will be free

i did the same thing and i accepted the fact that i am a woman so i live full time. ok a ts , so whats in a name

your afraid of what? , just tell your family you will feel better, free at last whats the worst thing that can happen , then turn it in to a positive

you know this will be with you for the rest of your life , deal with it while you are young and can enjoy life . it just gets harder the longer you leave it :eek:

[PrincessBelle1959]

I think I understand your inner delemna. My world is perfectly satisfying to me. My wife has expressed her need for me to only dress around her. She knows and supports the "arousal" it gives me. I'm completely devoted to her and her feelings and it seems she is to mine. I don't dress all the time but when I feel the need, I do it. I've tried sneaking out with femme items but it upsets her too much and I decided it was not worth it to lose her.

Keep your head up, things will work out.

[Tina B.]

When you know who you are, you will figure out where you are going! for some, the need is for more and more, and can lead to to a live as a female, but for others, two many days of wearing a dress, makes you want to put on a pair of jeans, and go out and build something. To find out what yo uwant out of life, you have to let youself go, and see what happens. Yes we do have people here that will tell you this place is bad for you if you don't want to go to far, but only you can tell just what to far is for you.
After all who can get mad at you for crossdressing, it's "doctors orders" so let yourself go, and then you will know where you are!
Tina B.

[Robin Leigh]

Hi Michelle!

It sounds like you are suffering from a CDing deficit & you need to have a good binge. :D Dress up fully all day, every day for a week & I bet you'll be sick of it by the end. :devil:

Seriously though, I recommend that you develop a CDing schedule. Decide how much time per week (or per month) that you want to dress, and on what days, and try to stick to the plan. If you decide you need to dress more or less, modify the plan. By providing structure to your CDing activities, you will have fewer spontaneous irresistible urges to dress.

I know this may not be practical if you don't get a lot of opportunities to dress and so tend to dress whenever you can get away with it. But "impulse dressing" isn't a good idea, IMHO. Impulses have the annoying tendency to arise when it's least convenient.

CDing is a bit like eating. The healthiest approach is to eat at regular times. Of course, the occasional party is OK, too. :)

:hugs:

Robin

[noname]

I would follow the adivse of your therapist. Just make sure your wife is in the know. I would hold off on work, at least until your certain you want to dress there too, and I would definately be discussing that with your thereapist as well. So at the least you can provide a doctors note. But... only you know your job and your finances and how that could play out.

Best Wishes

[Melanie]

princessmichelle (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/member.php?u=29839) vbmenu_register("postmenu_770049", true); ,Having also gone to a therapist to help deal with this CDing thing,I find they are a little biased and even encouraging.They tell you not to 'deny yourself' or alter ego sort of thing.

So if I were you and you want to dress in private,I would make doubly sure that nobody will be around for at least a few hours,AND that IF someone came home you could easily take off the clothes behind the door.As far as putting on makeup,that is difficult to remove quickly,so I wouldn't recommend that at this stage unless you had a hotel room or something where you could be 'en femme' for most of the day.

Moderation in all things they say.

Good Luck sister!

Hugs

Melanie :hugs:

[Kristen Kelly]

I must agree with Karen. The only way to avoid dressing more is to visit this site less. We tend to urge each other on. Having said that, I can only say that the worst thing you can do is deny yourself. What can possible be wrong with wearing a pair of panties on occasion? Likewise, the more you dress the more you will dress. It's just too much fun to be denied.

Not so true my outlook has changed from posting here, I accept myself, my problems and questions are not unique. I did go through a month when I dressed 1/2 the time, but I pushed myself into saturation, I have now found my "present" balance. I say present for that will always change.

[Angie G]

Michelle relax hun use you head dress when you can and don't when you can't a lot of us do that and we are fine :hugs:
Angie

[Gina_darling]

This is a slippery slope isn't it. I find that the more I cd the more I want to! If I don't the stress soon escalates! Right now I have a great urge to venture out en femme, I have done before but only as fancy dress not as my true feminine self.

I find the cding in private satisfying most of the time but I feel I'm getting to the point where I need more. I suppose I feel the same way you do, wanting more but still too shy to do so. I live away from home when at University but do live with a flatmate who I don't think would understand, however at home I don't know whether my Mum and sisters would understand, so I'm restricted to private cding.

Everyone's advice here seems to be don't try to supress yourself and I must agree. I'm nearly ready to reveal Gina to family.

[SherriePall]

OK, here's my two cents. Yes, denying yourself time to dress can lead to stress and tension -- enough so that others will notice your edginess. You can become easily irritable.

Now, can more CDing lead to more CDing? Depends. Each of us is different. There are times that dressing makes me want to dress more. Yet, there are other times when I could care less (let's see that was how long ago?). Some here on the forum lose the desire to dress for days, weeks, and even months.

In short, don't stress yourslelf out worrying about dressing or not dressing. Dress when you can (when it doesn't interfer with your family or job) and enjoy.

[Kimberley]

For me, CD.com didnt increase my needs or wants to dress. What it did do for me was first of all and most importantly; validate my feelings. This is something I never thought would happen and to find it on the internet was, surprising at the least.

The other thing this place did for me was empower me because my feelings were validated.

Finally, some very much loved people here helped me to come to understand and accept my being transgendered and myself. Yes, I still struggle and I always will unless I opt to transition. I know this will be an ongoing battle.

Increase in dressing? I would have to qualify that by saying I was coming out of a 5 year purge so was it the site or my needs? I think the latter.

:hugs:
Kimberley

[Angela E.]

The less I stress.:koc: :itsok: Angela.:GE:

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I agree "the more I dress the less I stress". You have to try and come to an acceptable level of stress relief, it's differant for everyone.

[Sierra Evon]

its like eating potato chips , you cant stop at just one !!!!, but i recommend that you not alow it to consume your life and disrupt your family and job !!!
Good luck to ya !!!!!!!!! :thumbsup:

[Lovely Rita]

Michelle, for me cding is both spiritual and psychological therapy, so for me it is a plethora of benefits. It calms and nourishes me. It is play time, which is so important. I get to express a very important part of me, which I love very much. It is not healthy for me to keep Rita locked away for too long. I also have a very supportive SO and that just enhances everything.

It is different for everyone so only you will know the effects for yourself.