nancy58
03-02-2007, 11:54 PM
Compared to the experiences some of you have, this will seem like small potatoes, but I just had one of the greatest weeks ever. I'm still closeted to everyone but my wife and my therapist, and I don't have some of the important accoutrements -- namely, a wig, and, until today, shoes.
Monday night, I had an errand to run that would require a 1-1/2 hour round trip. I wouldn't have to spend but a few minutes in the store I was going to. I decided that I could put on my bra and padding under a heavy sweather, and between that and my bulky coat, no one would ever notice this man with boobs. There was a traffic accident, though, and in trying to avoid it, I got lost. The store closed before I could call and ask for directions, and I came home empty-handed. It would have been a complete waste of time, but I had a great time driving around with my sweater off.
My therapy appointment was Thursday at lunch. I had been wanting for a while to have a therapy session en femme, but I hadn't ever proposed it to the therapist. We've been talking about my crossdressing, though, and I thought it might be beneficial for a number of reasons. I debated whether to surprise her, so I could get her unguarded reaction, or to call ahead. I chose to call her out of courtesy, and she readily agreed.
I had a hard time sleeping that night. I put on my gaff, a panty, and a pair of androgynous women's corduroy jeans, then topped this with a men's polo shirt to wear at the office. Before I left for my session, I put on my bra and padding and a sleeveless shirt, then covered it all up with a sweater and my jacket. Besides not wanting to be embarrassed, I didn't want to upset any of the other patients in the office, nor any of masseuses who share the office space.
I thought I would be horrifically self-conscious, but my therapist greeted me warmly and didn't bat an eye when I removed my jacket and sweater. The therapy session went well, and I was able to spend my first-ever hour dressed in front of another human being. Wearing the sleeveless shirt was especially important to me, even though it was pushing the season, because my underarms are shaved, and I feel very vulnerable with that way with no sleeves. The only regret I had was that I had to go back to the office, and so I had to remove the bra and put my men's shirt back on.
Thursday night, I attempted my errand again and was successful, but traffic was even worse. I spent three hours driving around in the outfit I had worn to the therapist's office. At first, I tried driving in just my shirt, but I was self-conscious everytime I hit a lighted area or traffic slowed down. Somehow, I don't think I'd mind being seen in public if I had a female hairdo, but with my short hair and mustache, I know I look ridiculous, and I don't want to be seen that way.
Today, my first pair of women's shoes arrived. They're a nice pair of moccasins, and I was so happy they fit. I hate shopping for shoes by mail order but am too self-conscious to go into a store and ask to try on a pair of women's shoes.
What did I learn this week? Mainly that being outside under the right circumstances is exhilarating. I also learned that I really need to interact with other people while I am dressed to make the experience complete; otherwise, it's kind of like looking at Playboy, if you catch my drift. And I learned that I am willing to be seen by people who won't freak out. So I am now planning to attend a meeting of one of our local crossdressers clubs. I think I am going to finally turn what is normally a lonely activity into something fulfilling.
Monday night, I had an errand to run that would require a 1-1/2 hour round trip. I wouldn't have to spend but a few minutes in the store I was going to. I decided that I could put on my bra and padding under a heavy sweather, and between that and my bulky coat, no one would ever notice this man with boobs. There was a traffic accident, though, and in trying to avoid it, I got lost. The store closed before I could call and ask for directions, and I came home empty-handed. It would have been a complete waste of time, but I had a great time driving around with my sweater off.
My therapy appointment was Thursday at lunch. I had been wanting for a while to have a therapy session en femme, but I hadn't ever proposed it to the therapist. We've been talking about my crossdressing, though, and I thought it might be beneficial for a number of reasons. I debated whether to surprise her, so I could get her unguarded reaction, or to call ahead. I chose to call her out of courtesy, and she readily agreed.
I had a hard time sleeping that night. I put on my gaff, a panty, and a pair of androgynous women's corduroy jeans, then topped this with a men's polo shirt to wear at the office. Before I left for my session, I put on my bra and padding and a sleeveless shirt, then covered it all up with a sweater and my jacket. Besides not wanting to be embarrassed, I didn't want to upset any of the other patients in the office, nor any of masseuses who share the office space.
I thought I would be horrifically self-conscious, but my therapist greeted me warmly and didn't bat an eye when I removed my jacket and sweater. The therapy session went well, and I was able to spend my first-ever hour dressed in front of another human being. Wearing the sleeveless shirt was especially important to me, even though it was pushing the season, because my underarms are shaved, and I feel very vulnerable with that way with no sleeves. The only regret I had was that I had to go back to the office, and so I had to remove the bra and put my men's shirt back on.
Thursday night, I attempted my errand again and was successful, but traffic was even worse. I spent three hours driving around in the outfit I had worn to the therapist's office. At first, I tried driving in just my shirt, but I was self-conscious everytime I hit a lighted area or traffic slowed down. Somehow, I don't think I'd mind being seen in public if I had a female hairdo, but with my short hair and mustache, I know I look ridiculous, and I don't want to be seen that way.
Today, my first pair of women's shoes arrived. They're a nice pair of moccasins, and I was so happy they fit. I hate shopping for shoes by mail order but am too self-conscious to go into a store and ask to try on a pair of women's shoes.
What did I learn this week? Mainly that being outside under the right circumstances is exhilarating. I also learned that I really need to interact with other people while I am dressed to make the experience complete; otherwise, it's kind of like looking at Playboy, if you catch my drift. And I learned that I am willing to be seen by people who won't freak out. So I am now planning to attend a meeting of one of our local crossdressers clubs. I think I am going to finally turn what is normally a lonely activity into something fulfilling.