lacking

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

forgive me for this post, and by no way is it meant to cause "any" offence !!
But i wanted to ask you all, does your c/d make-up for something thats "lacking" in your life ?? :straightface: re: does it take-away some of the worries & troubles you have in your "everyday" life ?? :o from comments ive had made by Darrell, he told me before ( a few years ago) it was "somewhere to hide ".
is that similar with some of yourselves ? or is it just like a "hobbie" ?? :rolleyes:

[Raychel]

For me it is a time when I can just forget about all the other stresses of everyday life, and just relax and be me. Even if I don't really relax and I do housework while I am dressed. It is a time with a whole differant frame of mind. Still a guys mind, but without all the stress. It also somehow helps me with the lack of intimacy that is in my life at this time. I am not sure why, but when I do actually get time for Raychel, those issues do go away for a short while too.

Kinda like a good drunk without the hangover.

[Rachaelb64]

Its my pressure valve, simply put.

Escaping the pressure of life to be someone else, well not really, I'm still me, put I do think it puts me in a different frame of mind, lets me see my problems from a different angle :happy:

Cross dressing has always lifted my black moods, made the light shine brighter. Anyway putting on a dress always seemed to help more than those mind-numbing pills the doctor gave me :D

Sometimes I feel like there are 3 people in my head, Me, my macho side and my femine side. Maybe I'm a little crazy :D

Me, Myself & Rachael :tongueout

[Samantha Lough]

No it is not that with me, I kinda of wish it was then I could explain it better

[Holly]

Angie, thanks for the question. I can understand Darrell's comment. For me it's not so much of an escape from real life... it's more like when I get dressed, the fog lifts and I can see things more clearly. My minds seems to work at a different level when I'm in femme mode. I wouldn't characterize it as better or worse, just different. I get more personal satisfaction in girl mode, but I realize that I do have obligations and responsibilites that my male side is much better equiped to handle and deal with. My girl time even helps me uderstand how important my guy time is as well. I hope I didn't confuse you!

[LisaRose]

Simply put, "It's my Better Half."

Some believe the our 'sole mates' come from our soles splitting. I believe this may be true but I also believe that some of us have not split and we contain both halves within our present self. Cross/trans 'whatever' is simply allowing us to express both sides of our sole.

[marie354]

Lacking??? Well maybe. When I'm in guy mode, I do feel sometimes that I'm lacking a bit of self expression in a way that I don't quite feel like Sandy. Maybe there's a bit of stress involved, trying to be Sam instead Sandy, whom I feel that I really am. So when I put on a dress or even a pair of nice slacks and a top, I feel more at ease with myself. When I'm dressed as Sandy, I want to do more but I'm still a bit unsure of my presentation, so I guess I'm lacking a bit of confidance as well.
I hop that that didn't confuse you as much as it did me....

[Lovely Rita]

My cding expresses a very important part of my persona that before, for whatever the many reasons, had to remain buried and hidden. Today, I have a very supportive SO and so I am becoming who I am. Cding is not all I am but it is a very important part of who I am.

Feeling more complete is one thing. I am sure there are many more reasons I cd and many that are still unbeknownst to me or anyone else for that matter.

[Casey Morgan]

Well, it used to make up for my inability (read: put red hot pokers places I didn't want red hot pokers, I wasn't letting on) to express a part of my nature, or even admit to others it exists. But when I crossdressed I let myself be that part of me too. Now my dressing simply expresses the real me.

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

yes i can understand some of ur statements :happy: we all have things we do to relieve stress of our lifes, & i was just curious if perhaps with "some" of you this was the case :o

[Daintre]

Well wicked, in my case I believe that being jenni allows me to be the "real" me. In drab male mode I feel that I am acting, having to play the part of being male. I have done this most of my life, I can certainly portray a guy, but my inner self knows that I am most happy when jenni is able to be here.

[Kate Simmons]

I used to do it for stress relief but not any more. Now I do it simply because I like to and because I'm fairly good at it. I have toned it down a bit since it was becoming way too easy. That may even change soon since I've learned new things about myself. I've pretty much realized I can be whoever I want to be without necessarily dressing the part.:happy:

[Toyah]

It allows me to create another persona who to be quite frank has no worries and is just there for fun.
I have a mental switch that in some instances I can switch off my insecure self, instructing was one I was always confident and good at that I guess CDing is another mental flick. I don't think it changes me apart from confidence.

[kerrianna]

That's a really good question Angie, something I ask myself all the time. How much of this is me wanting to BE something and how much is it just escaping reality?

There is definitely an escapist/stress release element to it. There is a measure of role-playing with my feminine side and role-playing to me is partly about escaping the mundane world. It is also partly a learning/growing experience though, and that I take very seriously. It allows me to be a more fuller, functional, loving human being and a lot of my dressing (now) strikes a very deep chord that I sense was always within me but suppressed.

I think it's tougher for guys to express the 'other' side of themselves in our society for a number of reasons. A lot of it is our own fault - we set many of the rules ourselves. So crossdressing is a gateway of sorts for many of us. It's too bad it seems weird to so many people, because it's really just an expression of what is in most of us. Maybe one day it will be an accepted form of expression in a kinder world. :happy:

[Julie York]

The problem is that the Cd spectrum is very wide and so people do it for different reasons. But it is nice and neat to be able to say "I do it because...." The trouble is that it isn't as easy to explain as that.


Some feel 'at home' when they do it and others feel liberated or exhilerated or simply sexually excited. If someone doesn't have that Ts thing going on then it often illustrates that they are mentally unsettled and this is the expression of it, whether they dress as a leather cybercop or a girl about town. It's an outward expression of an inner feeling of being unsettled.

Hope that helps.

Doesn't sound so helpful now I read it back but..well

[Brianna Lovely]

After accepting myself, I realized, that I was more. More than a man. A blend of female and male.

Not knowing how to express who/what I am, I find dressing "lights me up", it lets the real me, shine through.

As my true self shows, stronger, my need to dress, to express myself, may change. But I do like the clothing, so I may just dress, because I like to.

[fionasboots]

forgive me for this post, and by no way is it meant to cause "any" offence !!


No offence taken, if you don't as questions you don't (usually) get answers.



But i wanted to ask you all, does your c/d make-up for something thats "lacking" in your life ?? :straightface: re: does it take-away some of the worries &


Lacking?

Well I guess early on some of it could have been to do with me lacking a girlfriend I suppose - there's not may potential girlfriends around when you study IT/Elec Eng at Uni, the ratio is kinda biased the wrong way.

And early on I guess you could support this theory a bit since I didn't crossdress when I did have a GF.

Good theory isn't it. It's probably wrong though. Alot of my early behaviour regarding CDing was clearly denial, maybe some of it was a GF-replacement but really that's a symptom not a cause. It's something I did in a restricted way early on but which probably would have gone alot further if I had been more confident/known more/<insert other circumstance>.

So I think it was something I was destined to do regardless, as I said once before, I didn't want to be He-Man when I was little, I though She-Ra had the better outfits! If only I'd figured out what this meant sooner :heehee:



troubles you have in your "everyday" life ?? :o from comments ive had made by Darrell, he told me before ( a few years ago) it was "somewhere to hide ".
is that similar with some of yourselves ? or is it just like a "hobbie" ?? :rolleyes:

Forgetting troubles, yes, that *does* ring true, it's certainly a very good distraction to get dressed up or even to go shopping for clothes, both have kind of a buzz.

Somewhere to hide? Well again it's possible that being someone else is part of CDing but maybe not the cause, again just another thing you do as part of getting dressed up, you can't help feeling or acting different.

Hobby - in a very literal sense probably, on the other hand I can personally be more fanatical about CDing than any of my other hobbies and even the computers come second to getting dressed up, so we're well passed "hobby" and heading into "obsession" territory :eek:

Hope that helps.

Of course everyone is different so reasons may vary wildly!

[DonnaT]

For me, it's just something I have to do.

Been doing it since I was 10. The reason why is not really known. Just do.

I certainly had no stress to overcome back then, nor do I now.

To me, that's just a part of being transgendered. There's this urge/need to dress that's comes from deep within, that's simply unexplainable. Something I was born with.

If it were a hobby, I could easily quite as I have other hobbies. Definitely not a hobby.

Can't think of anything lacking in my life that CDing would be a substitute for.

Back when I was 10, didn't even like girls.

[Joy Carter]

forgive me for this post, and by no way is it meant to cause "any" offence !!
But i wanted to ask you all, does your c/d make-up for something thats "lacking" in your life ?? :straightface: re: does it take-away some of the worries & troubles you have in your "everyday" life ?? :o from comments ive had made by Darrell, he told me before ( a few years ago) it was "somewhere to hide ".
is that similar with some of yourselves ? or is it just like a "hobbie" ?? :rolleyes:

I can't say why. But there is a gurl inside and now after so many years, I have the courage to let her out to play. So WB this is no Hobbie for me.

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

ty all for ur responses :happy: i understand alittle more now, that for some its part of your every-day life, and for others in some kind of way a stress release :o :hugs:

[Marianna Julianna]

Well of course I can only speak for myself, but for me the only thing I finding lacking in my life is time to dress. Seriously, I am the kind of person who sits and thinks things through all the time, but I have never been able to pin down anything that makes me dress. I once thought it might be the lack of the love of a good woman, or not havng kids or anything like that, but no, got all those now and the desire/need or whatever you want to call it is stronger than ever. Stress of work? No, the feeling came back hard while I was still off work sick, stress from that? After what I've been through since 2000 I don't allow anything to stress me, I might owe more money than I can see ever paying back, I might be struggling month to month to keep the house and all that, some people would be stressed and that's understandable but my perspective is different. I count myself lucky to be as well as I am, and to be able to keep a roof over our heads and food in our bellies. No stress as such. I dress because I just like to be dressed, it's not a hobby, its expressing the other part of me, the part which perforce needs to be hidden in the male shell most of the time. That's it.

[Amy Hepker]

It is not a Hobbie! My Hobbie is Drag Racing and I don't mean in heels. As far as an exscape, Yes to an extent. But also to let the real person inside of me come out and be accepted.

[Mary Jane]

For me, I had an 'itch' that was not being scratched. My early dressing only consisted of ocassionally wearing some lingerie and sockings/pantyhose. Not until I started dressing fully with wig, make up, etc did the 'itch' finally get scratched. I have not felt the 'itch' since.

[Dee Model]

Simply put, &quot;It's my Better Half.&quot;

Some believe the our 'sole mates' come from our soles splitting. I believe this may be true but I also believe that some of us have not split and we contain both halves within our present self. Cross/trans 'whatever' is simply allowing us to express both sides of our sole.

I see myself as two people...they compliment each other and are both lost on there own. Two 'Selves' may be more accurate for me. Dee needs opportunity to Self-express or the male side suffers agony of withdrawal. I know, I've been through this before. Now I could never leave her- I love her too much. She needs to be Free.

[Girlieboy]

An excellent question! If I were to be perfectly honest, I feel that my early girlie experiences were a temporary escape from an utterly appalling childhood but, having said that, they were a most wonderful and enjoyable experience, too. I don't know exactly what the psychologists would make of this - nor do I particularly care now - but when I was a "temporary" girl I could at least forget the dreadful things that happened to a poor frightened boy. An escape from the hard realities of life - most certainly!

Diane XX

[JenniferR771]

Well, good question WB. I do it because I am a crossdresser--a deep internal urge. And not just a dress. Makeup, wig, shoes, jewelry. I gradually need a stronger "fix"--a more feminine--more convincing--more complete look. Not TS, but I keep wanting to progress to the next level. Perhaps I am getting old and need more stimulation.

Stress relief, No. Don't have much stress these days. Didn't help on days past when i did have stress.

Substitute for a real girlfriend when younger? Well maybe. I recently read somewhere that on average crossdressers had fewer than average girlfriends in their younger years. Do you agree? Ask you DH. Does this mean fewer, but longer relationships? More faithful partners?

[Mariah]

For me, it let's me know I am a woman. The feeling of freedom to be out and about and not in the dark. It lets him get away from the stress of his life. The mind is a powerful thing to behold, We share in this bond so that we have some stable mental life split between each of us. Guess you can say it's a Switch that let's us switch places him to darkness and calm and me to the real world and all that entails.



hopes to you all
Keris

[Felix]

Hi Wicked, well for me and I'm being totally honest here it gives me the confidence I seem to lack from my female side. It's not really an escape as much as a reality I feel totally at ease with myself presenting as a man so much so that I can't imagine presenting as a woman anymore :o xx Felix :hugs:

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

ty felix for ur input as well :hugs: obviously its from a different view point, and very much appreciated ( as is all of ur comments ) :love:

[bobbicdsissy]

I think that too often we see the world in black and white. Male or Female, I don't believe that we as humans are that simple. I believe that we are all somewhere on a sliding scale. Some women are more feminine than others, just as some men are more feminine than others. I tried to see myself as polar opposites but now I think of myself as me no matter when I am dressed in male clothing or female clothing.

When we can blend the two, the clothes we wear are not as important anymore. They can still be an expression of our inner self but when we are true to ourselves our clothes don't matter.

Personally I am happy being male. I don't want to change that but I do prefer to dress in feminine clothes. But when I can't I still live and think the same as when I am dressed en femme. I have managed to toss away the male stereo type and have begun persuing what are considered female pastimes, I like to do crafts, especially cross stitch and I enjoy fashion magazines and shows.

[tommi]

For myself I do get a certain amount of stress relief.I also enjoy the pampering of myself.
The feeling of the fabrics and just the ability to feel taken care of ,to a point.
Sometimes Tommi causes alot more stress than she relieves, but it is just good to sit back at times and feel all girly.

[Alice Torn]

For me, girls always seemed "off limits", and I had such low self worth, as a male, that I was always suffering emotionally/mentally, felt that all the normal guys got the girls, and I was "cursed", barred from having a pretty girlfriend. I was rejected, crushed by that. Later, in life, I did have some women friends, dates, but nothing serious, as I have always been working poor, could not afford a nice place to live. I dressed up, because I was wanting to see how legs feel, in hose, then, skirts, dresses, wig, heels. I dress up, to look like a lady, that I would like to have. I think part of it was "lacking" a steady girlfiend all my life, and lacking much hope, of it, and lacking confidence, in my self, as a potential provider.

[gennee]

Crossdressing is another facet of my life. I wasn't lacking anything when I discovered it a couple of years ago. I guess it was always in me and it was time for it to bloom. I haven't looked back since.

Gennee

:gorgeous:

[Felix]

Thanx Wicked and I'd just like to say thanx for making me welcome here xx Felix :hugs:

[suchacutie]

What a great question. Thinking about the answer has been very interesting. Tina is a part of me I probably had but had not identified, and certainly had not developed. I think that's why Tina is so different from him in many ways. This whole experience is mind-expanding in ways I could not have anticipated and there is no end in sight!

tina

[jamie_44]

Yes, the cross dressing does take you away from everything but with me it is more than just changing dress. It is about asking myself who is my true self. Jamie or the fake person I have been all my life. Dressing has been an eye-opener. I feel that it has helped me really examine myself internally very deeply.

[susie evans]

crossrdessing allowes me to enjoy the best of two worlds :heehee:

susie

[Amiad]

If you start a post asking at what age did we start to cross dress you will find that the majority of us wanted to or did prior to puberty. We wern't trying to hide or escape from anything then and we are not now.

Amiad

[Kenix]

It is an escape for me, to be another person and have no worries for a while. In some way it is good for my male side as well because I am starting to take better care of my body.