Letter to my daughter

[cindianna_jones]

As many of you know, my daughter disowned me recently with an email. I posted it in another thread. I anguished for a few days over how I should respond. I discovered that my mother had sent her a card with a note of support. It was returned unopened. So, I typed up this letter, put it in a very business looking addressed envelope with bar code and no return address. I also printed her email and included it with the letter. I know she has received it.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Dearest Deni,

I want you to know that I fully understand your email message and your emotions behind it. I grasp your reasoning and I also comprehend the implications of what you have written. I can imagine myself in your shoes – this is the moment I have feared for a lifetime.

I also sense how fruitless any of my words would be to explain the choices I’ve had to make. My defect isn't just something that tore me apart, it also devastated all the people that loved and depended on me. I am truly sorry for the hurt you, your brother, your mother and everyone else have suffered through this ordeal. I humbly beg your forgiveness.

Now that you are a parent, I’m sure you can imagine how much I wanted to prevent this. I acted as wisely as I could, given my impossible situation. I hope you can understand that I am overwhelmed by your feelings of abandonment. I had always hoped that even through my mistakes you would see that my heart was always desperate to be the best parent I could. I am sorry I failed you. A mere letter cannot make up for a lifetime of your hurt and unexpressed feelings.

Yes, I knew that this time would come. I knew that someday you would open your heart and invite me in - or that you would eventually exclude me from your life. It was part of the painful and tragic decision I had to make before you could even talk.

You have felt abandoned as you have grown up into a beautiful young woman. In the very depths of my being, I wish it could have been otherwise. Now that you have a sweet child of your own you wonder how I could have moved away so many years ago. And after reading my life story, you decided to end our relationship. I can sense the agony you faced to make this decision. It breaks my heart.

I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you.

Please know that I will welcome you with open arms any time, under any circumstance, and without explanation. You may contact me in any form you see fit. My home will always be open to you and your family for any reason.

I love you, my dear daughter.


Cindi

Please keep these letters tucked away in a place you can remember. Perhaps one day you may wish to read them again.



.

[Holly]

Cindi, you've done all that you can do. What happens in the future is now pretty much up to your daughter. I hope and pray that you find some comfort and peace, and that the parent-child bond remains strong enough for the healing of the relationship to be complete. :hugs:

[pocoyo]

Awwwww Cindi.

That letter is wonderful and beautiful and actually probably just what she needs to hear..... that you do, and have always, love her very very much... and that you will always be there for her. On her side, rooting for her.

That kind of "stability" (however far away the parent) and unconditional love is something most children (of whatever age) long for.

I hope that she finds some comfort in your words :happy:

Very good luck to you and her. I hope that some time after she's had a bit of space/cooled off you can become very very close and loving for one another.

(I just had a thought... this "cutting you off" may be a way of trying to hurt you back... to "punish" you for the hurt she feels.... if that is the case then it's pretty likely that she will calm down and want to know you again).

Good luck and I hope things end up working out and being even better than before, because of these sudden sharp bursts of honesty and confrontation between you.

:love:

[Siobhan Marie]

Cindi, you've done all that you can do. What happens in the future is now pretty much up to your daughter. I hope and pray that you find some comfort and peace, and that the parent-child bond remains strong enough for the healing of the relationship to be complete.

Cindi, I feel for you hun, I really do and thought that your letter to your daughter is lovely and I do hope that she takes the time to read. I have to agree with what Holly said, you've done all that you can do and the ball is now firmly in your daughters court.

:hugs: Anna Marie x

[MsPriscilla]

Cindi,

that is so moving; i just hope everything works out between the two of you

[Shelly Preston]

Hi Cindi

Your letter strikes the right balance
I hope you daughter is able to come to terms with what has happend and is able to keep in contact. Even if only starts small with birthday and xmas cards

As you have said its hard for her and your love is unconditional.
All you can do is hope, pray and wait until she is ready.

[Girlieboy]

Hi, Cindi,

Hun, that letter was so beautiful and meaningful it brought tears to my eyes. You are so very brave!

:hugs:

Diane
XX

[Stephenie S]

Good for you, girl. I really think that was the best thing for you to do.

Stephenie

[Katrina]

Cindi,
That was a beautiful letter. I hope your daughter sees it too. Good luck.

[cindianna_jones]

Thanks everyone. This is so hard. I know that I've done all that I can do but there's this nagging feeling, this sense of desperation, that I should or can do something else. It's so difficult when you can't get together to just talk through it.

Cindi

[Jacqui]

Cindi, this is the dilemna I face every day.
For me, personally, I don't think I could risk the loss of my wife or daughter, it would be worse than where I am now or where I would be going.
I do admire you for making the choice (there's nothing more that I would like to do) and hope that someday your rewards are equal to or greater than the risks you took.
With the amount of love that you put into your letter, there's a good chance you'll get your daughter back.
I wish you the best,

Jacqui

[Sarahgurl371]

Cindi I hope that with time and thought that your family will come to understand your situation and the decisions you had to make all those years ago. And that one day they will want to be a part of your life and you can offer each other the love and support that you all desire. I hope that you realize that you have done what you can and that the rest is up to her.

[Joy Carter]

Cindi I hope that with time and thought that your family will come to understand your situation and the decisions you had to make all those years ago. And that one day they will want to be a part of your life and you can offer each other the love and support that you all desire. I hope that you realize that you have done what you can and that the rest is up to her.

I can't post anything better than this Cindi. I pray for the best in you and your families lives.:hugs: