Looks like I may have been outed at work - years ago!

[TxKimberly]

Around 6 or 7 years ago I had reached a stage in my cross dressing where I wasn't all that embarrassed about it and I shared my secret with some people I knew well and trusted. Everyone I told was very supportive and accepting and this sort of led me into a false sense of security.
One day I found that a relatively new girl in the office was going to meet one of my other co-workers (a lesbian) at the local gay bar where most of us TGs hang out. Lets call her witch. As it turns out, this was on a Friday night and I had long planned to be there so I decided what the hell, I'll let her know. Oops. While witch was civil at the time, but she later told me very bluntly that it was disgusting and that I should be ashamed. A few weeks after this, I noticed one of the other ladies in the office had changed the way she acted with me. Not better, not worse, just different. I had very little doubt that Witch had told her, but i liked this other woman and wasn't too upset at the thought. Well, my wife now works in my office as well and found out Thursday night for certain that Witch had told this other lady. Now the only question is, who else knows? Everyone? My peers, my manager, my director? I am moderately upset but lets face it, this was years ago and I am still not only employed, but they consider me one of their top field service engineers. I just feel stupid for having trusted someone I didn't know well, and for risking my career by telling them.
Guess I've got to learn to trust people a little less, or at least a little less quickly. :-(
Kim

[marika_jaye]

Chin up, Kim. Some people are just jerks. Don't let it harden your heart.:hugs:

[noname]

Relax Kim, relax. Anyone respectable will stay out of the gossip chain. Management most likely won't care unless you show up to work that way. Hopefully will blow over. I do hope you defended yourself when she said it was disgusting. Though I've never had to say a rude comment, I always have the, "well, your pants don't help hide your fat butt" defense. Just is case.

[tvbeckytv]

think you got hold of wrong end of stick there vicky. wife confirmed witch told other lady, not witch told wife...thats how i read it.

[Kate Simmons]

Interesting Kim. The main thing is, it doesn't seem to have changed your superiors' attitude towards you if they do know about it. What you do in private is your business as long as it does not aversely affect your livelyhood. While a few may act cooler towards you, it seems to be a personal thing and even they will probably have to admit it did not affect your job performance or your character and integrity. Actually, in my eyes at least, you are a better man for it and your taking it in stride makes me very proud to call you friend. Just continue what you are doing and no one will have any cause for complaint.:hugs: Sal

[Wendy me]

well you can't undo it ... but i would pull witch aside and just bring her up to speed on the diversity policy in the company .... let her know what she did was not right ....

then tell her "PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUGHT MY LIVE OUTSIDE OF THE WORK PLACE ,YOUR INVADING MY PREVENT LIFE AND MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE SO PLEASE STOP BEFORE WE NEED TO TALK TO HUMAN RESORCES....THANK YOU"..................
those are the magic words in todays world .... simply doing that would put her on notice not to talk abought you to every one and if she dose you have vary specif rules and laws that will deal with her .....

[Wenda]

Sounds like Witch is no longer working there and you are. Doesn't that say it all? My reprimand re: dressing at a company related event was that I was not sitting in a lady-like way on stage.

[SherriePall]

All that matters is that you are still there after all this time and that, obviously, they respect your work. Is the witch still there?

[TxKimberly]

think you got hold of wrong end of stick there vicky. wife confirmed witch told other lady, not witch told wife...thats how i read it.

Yes, Becky has that exactly correct. My wife has known all of our 20 years. This is getting more and more confusing I know, but my wife now works for the woman that Witch told. They were speaking about witch the other day and my wife said something vague along the lines of she and I had told Witch something in confidence about me that we were pretty sure she had blabbed to others. My wife's manager responded with "yes, she told people". A little vague as cross dressing was never actually mentioned in this conversation, but I can't imagine what else it she might have been speaking about. I'll wait for a good moment and ask my wife's manager what Witch had told her. Her manager is a nice person that I am not concerned about her knowing. Others in my office and company how ever . . .
Kim

[TxKimberly]

LOL

I note a number of people asked if the witch is still working at my company and the answer is NO (Thank God). She left about a year ago and has had and lost half a dozen jobs since then. Tsk Tsk Tsk
Kim

[marie354]

LOL

I note a number of people asked if the witch is still working at my company and the answer is NO (Thank God). She left about a year ago and has had and lost half a dozen jobs since then. Tsk Tsk Tsk
Kim

Sorry to say that there are a few people out there that try to get others to like them at some others expense.

But, you know what they say... What comes around... Goes around.
She got paid in full it sounds.

[Abby Lauren]

Hi Kim
I guess I'm a lot like you. I much prefer to be honest with others whenever possible. I try to be discrete but will take chances to feel more of a sense of freedom. I've occasionally paid the price of trusting others but, all in all, I feel better for having been honest.

[GinaVegas]

Hey Kim. Well, it looks like it didn't affect upper management's opinions of you if they did know. So, I wouldn't worry too much about it.....

[Angie G]

Some people can't mind there business and just let somethings go I know so much of others that I will never tell anyone:hugs:
Angie

[KewTnCurvy GG]

I am the director where I work and I'm constantly telling my staff, co-workers are not your friends or family, don't share anything with them you don't want to come back and haunt you. It's just not wise--period! Work is work; sometimes rare and special relationships form. Emphasis on sometimes.
Kew

[TxKimberly]

I am the director where I work and I'm constantly telling my staff, co-workers are not your friends or family, don't share anything with them you don't want to come back and haunt you. It's just not wise--period! Work is work; sometimes rare and special relationships form. Emphasis on sometimes.
Kew

Under the circumstances, I am inclined to think that is excellent advice.
Kim

[Sierra Evon]

well you can't undo it ... but i would pull witch aside and just bring her up to speed on the diversity policy in the company .... let her know what she did was not right ....

then tell her "PLEASE STOP TALKING ABOUGHT MY LIVE OUTSIDE OF THE WORK PLACE ,YOUR INVADING MY PREVENT LIFE AND MAKING ME UNCOMFORTABLE SO PLEASE STOP BEFORE WE NEED TO TALK TO HUMAN RESORCES....THANK YOU"..................
those are the magic words in todays world .... simply doing that would put her on notice not to talk abought you to every one and if she dose you have vary specif rules and laws that will deal with her .....

Ditto " " " :yt: , I find that most of the time especially in the work place , its never a good idea to key ppl , ie , co-workers in to much on your private life , best of luck to ya tho, :2c: :thumbsup:

[kathy gg]

I am the director where I work and I'm constantly telling my staff, co-workers are not your friends or family, don't share anything with them you don't want to come back and haunt you. It's just not wise--period! Work is work; sometimes rare and special relationships form. Emphasis on sometimes.
Kew

No truer words were ever spoken!

Dead on good advice kew!

[trannie T]

The event happened several years ago and there have been no repercussions. Apparently no one was very concerned. Probably nobody believed the witch, who ever heard of a crossdressing engineer?

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Kim, you are apparently no worse for the betrayal and you handled it very well. The witch got what she deserves in the long run, intolerance is not acceptable on any level and what goes around will always come around. Your positive Karma is radiating, her Karma is non-existant. You win!

[CandyDarling]

In my experience - I'm certain it is the same - you should assume that everybody knows - all of your co workers and their spouses too and the people their spouses work with. A tranny makes almost the best gossip there is. I hate it and its mean but thats how it is everywhere.

I told an old girlfriend 25 years ago before we were supposed to get married. She moved away and I thought nothing of it. At Christmas this year-- thats 25 years later - a drunk neighbor of hers came up to me and said," you're a fruit and everybody knows it." They all know.

Fortunatly - people are so self sbsorbed that it falls off the radar pretty quickly - the occasional bar from an unfeeling wretch - but not too important to them in the end. It just hurts a bit. good luck.

[Michellebej]

Kim,

If it has been that long ago, then those who believed, obviously don't care. And; those that were not sure have aclimatized to the idea; or have convinced themselves it was not true.

Plus of course the ten percent that are sisters!

Michelle

[Bev06 GG]

Have you noticed though how no one actually trusts a gossip. Nobody nowadays is that gullible that they think that person is going to be loyal to them if she or he is gossiping behind someone elses back.
I dont like the mischief that gossips get up to, I never have done and I never will. consequently Im not someone that most people tend to include in the latest office tittle tattle. Which is rather good really because then your not placed in an akward position.
Love Bev