Forums- Good, Bad or What

[Janailene]

As a 65 year old I had to grow up with out the access to the information available to us on the internet. I had to try and learn for myself from using Mom's clothes, buying my own and learning how much of a woman I really was.

With forums young girls can quickly understand what being a CD is all about. Fun, exciting, stress relief, etc. They also can learn about the risks to one's structured non-female world, ie the risks of not being tolerlated by most, employers, friends, wives who are concerned about being cut off from their world because of our world etc.

However, we constantly support each other to be the woman within. Go shop enfemme. Go out and try it. Get a makeover and pictures. Tell your SO. All things that make it more likely that over time CDing will get more exposure and reaction.

Is that good or not? Are there girls who would not go as far in feminization with out our support and encouragement? I would have done more if I had the Form communication.

Had I had the Forms 50 years ago when I lived for a while as Janice, would I have proceeded on the transition?

What do you think? Look at some of the threads.

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

well i think forums are a excellant thing. im really glad i found this one, when i discovered my SO was c/d !! also, the information these type of places can give/help can be a god-send to those who are starting out with the c/d , or the SO's involved as well :happy: knowledge is a powerful thing, and even if its just the tinnest bit of help in some shape or form, and helps that particular person in some way , then good on the forum !!
i understand what your saying as regards years ago, these places werent avaliable to some of you, but when i read posts & see how everyone feels @ ease here, well..... it speaks volumes :happy:

[Tree GG]

I can't say good or bad, but my husband says he never dreamed there were other "normal" guys that dressed until he started searching the internet (2 or 3 yrs ago). He dressed in private, occassionally, content w/ scavenged undergarments and what he could (or would :D ) wear of mine when no one was around.

He didn't decide to go full femme until he saw that others did it, there were products available, and it might be possible.

Good question. I liken it to ignorance being bliss. I was content w/ the instant cappuccinos at the gas station until my sister introduced me to a real mocha from Starbucks. Now there's no going back and it costs more $. I was happy with what I had 'cause I didn't know any better - knowledge can be dangerous, I guess.

[Daintre]

Hi Janice, I am 55 so my exposure to the internet wasn't until later in my life. I personally think that the younger ones still go through the same things we did, the experimentation, making some bad assumptions and so on. The internet does give us all a greater awareness of what is out there. If this forum was here when I was in my early 20's, I think that my course in life would have been different. I have learned a lot from reading and contributing here. Lets face it a lot of CD sites are for titillation and not information, a person has to use good judgment surfing this net thingie.

[Janailene]

"there's no going back and it costs more $. I was happy with what I had 'cause I didn't know any better - knowledge can be dangerous, I guess." - quote from Tree.

My point exactly. Years from now crossdressing may be more accepted.

[Brianna Lovely]

I think this forum is a wonderful place.

Besides new people learning that they are not alone, we have the chance to share our feelings, thoughts and emotions.

We have the opportunity to help each other when questions arise, and laugh at our own mistakes as well as the adventures of others.

My father used to have a sign in his office, that read:
"Too soon old
Too late smart"

Now we have the chance to learn and help each other.
How wonderful.
Live life and love who you are.

Always With Love,
Brianna

[Marianna Julianna]

Forums are generally good, I love them, I can talk to others like me, all around the world, learn new things. There is a risk to the young and impressionable who may get confused about their own feelings and carried along with it all, but I'd say the risk is minimal. Those that get in the forums revealing the positive and negative aspects of being as we are, it's just now, I hope, no one with internet acces has to sit on their own beating themselves for being weird and feeling alone. I wish I'd had access to it when I was in my teens and early twenties, I think my life would have been very different now, but that's maybe and might have beens. They don't count, only going on from where we are.

[Karren H]

Persponally I think their great!! And I was headed down this path before I found forums..... And if I had found them earlier in life I don't think it would have changed anything for me since Karren's reawakening was medical and chemical in nature...

So you imply that too much info could be a bad thing?? Well when I found out what kind of brain tumor I had I was out on the web searching for answers!!! Found some support forums and site that really really really helped me!!! Ok Brain tumor - crossdressing , not the same.... But for those who have those feelings we all grew up with and no way to figure out what they mean... its a wonderful resource!!!

So some get pushed further than they would have... That I feel is more a self control thingy... They'd have gotten pushed into something else that might have been more destructive.... Never really know what could of, would of....


Love Karren

[Kate Simmons]

I was pretty much alone in my own little world (which wasn't bad, mind you) until last year when I found this place. Since then, I've met a lot of new people to share things with. I always talked to "regular" people, gay people,TG people, etc. about CDing but never on a regular basis. I've learned about the various stages and degrees of CDing more than I ever have before. By comparing myself to others and reading about their problems and adventures, I've been able to determine who I am and where I am going. So much so, I feel I've actually advanced to a point that would probably have taken me at least 5 years on my own. Nice to have friends that you can learn from and count on.:happy:

[Karren H]

I was pretty much alone in my own little world (which wasn't bad, mind you) until last year when I found this place. :

Yeah.... Almost sorry I IMed you this link!! Now you can't shut her up!!!! Yak yak yak yak yak yak yak


:tongueout :tongueout :tongueout

Love Karren

[Lisa Golightly]

People follow their own path and take from collected wisdom what they will.

[Gina_darling]

This forum is definitely good. The girls here give lots of support and advice. It is good to share experiences because everyone is different and has different outcomes to things like coming out or going out for the first time and it is nice to be able to read about all this before doing something yourself.

Thanks to everyone, and I hope I've given my :2c: as you say in the US!

[Alice B]

I think they are good. For me this forum provided information and courage to discuss with my wife my desire to CD and give her information to study the situation and then sit down and talk about it. As a result we have reached a happy agreement for both about when I can and can't. Maybe our situation is the exception, but I doubt it.

In reading and following the threads in this forum it becomes evident that there is a large variety of those that CD and just as many ways they go about it. Reading and understanding the bigger picture can not help but be positive for each of us.:hugs:

[JoAnnDallas]

I belong to this forum and a couple of others. These are very good support forums and I have learned a lot from them. There are others that nothing but CD porn forums. The problem is when a new SO gets on the internet looking for subject matter about her CD husbane and run into one of these other forums. So it would better if the CDer give the SO a list of forums and site to look at, so that she will be pointed to the correct areas.
I wish when I was growing up and a young adult, we had the internet and fourms like this one. I would have really helped and I may well be secure in my CDing than I am today.

[Kate Simmons]

Yeah.... Almost sorry I IMed you this link!! Now you can't shut her up!!!! Yak yak yak yak yak yak yak


:tongueout :tongueout :tongueout

Love KarrenWell, I did warn you I was a Chatty Cathy. So much to talk about, so little time.:p Now you understand why I have to take a break to be Rich once in a while, it's the only way I can shut myself up. You think this is bad, you should see some of the stuff I talk about on Yahoo answers!(under my 4 pseudonyms)--Yeesh!:rolleyes:

[Casey Morgan]

However, we constantly support each other to be the woman within. Go shop enfemme. Go out and try it. Get a makeover and pictures. Tell your SO. All things that make it more likely that over time CDing will get more exposure and reaction.

Is that good or not?

As long as people do things or try new things because it fits who they are, that encouragement is a good thing. For anybody who tends to go along with the group and sublimate their own needs, forums may not be the way to go; they may do better with real life interaction and its accompanying instant feedback. But I think many people can get very real benefits from the forums.

We're also exposed to many different types of people here. There are seven or eight types of CD/TV, three or four types of TG, and three or four types of TS. So the chances are pretty good that you'll come across ideas that you otherwise wouldn't have. That also gives us a better chance to find the things that are "us". You just have to know who's saying what.

[SherriePall]

Most of the things on this forum -- going out, makeovers, telling wife, etc. -- I did before I found this forum. While I have already experienced them, I share that, adding a word of caution.
So, are forums like this good or bad? I believe it is all what you make it.
I know I have further to go on my journey and I know I'll be checking in here for advice and comments from those who have gone before me.

[SabrinaJoy]

Personally I think that encouragement should not be confused with Coercion. Every gender gifted person out there has choices, hard choices to make that affect every aspect of their lives. The decision to go out and be seen en femme is not one I would take lightly, and I doubt any other girl here would either. Just like a lock keeps honest people honest, I think that encouragement just helps people understand their choices and better listen to their own needs and desires, rather than pushing them to make a choice they would not have otherwise made.

I have only participated on one forum other than this one, and I can say honestly that this forum is MUCH friendlier and open, just based on the short time I have been posting and reading. The words I read here carry only love, support, and respect.

In regard to transitioning, I have a dear friend who is doing it, and she would never have reached that decision unless it came directly from within.

Just my 2 cents, your mileage may vary.

Sabrina

[Sharon]

....
However, we constantly support each other to be the woman within. Go shop enfemme. Go out and try it. Get a makeover and pictures. Tell your SO. All things that make it more likely that over time CDing will get more exposure and reaction.

Is that good or not? Are there girls who would not go as far in feminization with out our support and encouragement? I would have done more if I had the Form communication.


It is somewhat a concern of mine that some people may feel pressured to do more than they are capable of handling in a "Keeping up with the Jones' " sort of way. And that some others may venture too far into a fantasy realm when all they need to do to be happy is simply something less "stimulating."

But for the vast majority of people who visit this site, and others like it, I think the encouragement is invaluable. We come on here, most of us with some level of trepidation(whether we admit it or not) and read about the adventures and experiences of other people who have already conquered their fears to some degree. We also learn what to do and what we shouldn't do.

The secret for all members is to try to experience what they truly desire to, and to take take those written experiences by others as a catalyst to do so. They should also realize, however, that what is right for some isn't necessarily right for everyone.

[marie354]

I think this forum is a Godsend! Even after going through the gay and dragqueen phase in my life when I was in Calif., back in 72 I think. I discovered that that wasn't me at all. So still confused, Samantha, as I called myself back then, was an on and off thing. Dressing when I could, in secret most of the time. I've been through two wives and a few GF's and had been dating my current GF when I found this site.
Wam! Wow! Bam! All of these people, and a lot of them were just like me. I started reading and before I knew it, I signed up.

I give credit to all the wonderful people here on this forum that have helped me to find out who I truely am. My attitudes have changes, my outlook on life has changed, I'm more relaxed that I have ever been. I've not been out of the house yet, but all good things come to those that wait. I'll have an outing eventually, but with a friend for the first time.

If the internet and forums like this were available 35 years ago when I was a teen, my life would have been a bit different. I may have gone all the way. I don't know for sure as you can't go back, only forward.

[Rebecca-L]

On balance I feel this forum is excellent. Sure, there will always be people who will misuse the information they find, or who will go too far, but they probably would have done that anyway.

As can be seen in this thread, the ideas (opinions) here are open and forthright. The advice is sound (for example, answers to the questions like "Should I go to my brother's wedding dressed as a female? I am not very passable.") because it comes from a larger number of people.

I spent a lot of time searching for information before I found this site, but most of what I came (stumbled) across was completely inappropriate.

I for one, am very glad this forum exists because it helps me to feel better about myself.

[Kelly,R]

I agree Rebecca,It has helped me feel better about myself,inso much as i am not alone!!!:hugs:

[JeanneF]

I think that overall the forums and the internet in general is invaluable. I have quite a few trans friends who are a bit older than me, and we've discussed many times the issues that they had to deal with being trans when information on the subject wasn't readily available. If nothing else, the knowledge that you aren't alone out there is worth it. I couldn't imagine being a teenager in the 80s (or god forbid the 50s/60s) and not being able to readily find information explaining why I had the overwhelming desire to put on makeup and heels.

I was even on the leading edge of this...I didn't have regular web access until about 1995 (AOL baby!). The girls who are four or five years younger than me have it a lot easier...they're been able to deal with their inner issues in a more open environment than ever. Just look at the abundance of openly out transpeople (and gay/lesbian for that matter) on Myspace.


It is somewhat a concern of mine that some people may feel pressured to do more than they are capable of handling in a "Keeping up with the Jones' " sort of way. And that some others may venture too far into a fantasy realm when all they need to do to be happy is simply something less "stimulating."

I think this is very true...it's very easy to fall into a "my trans is better than your trans" mentality. Look at how many people on here are out of the closet...that's wonderful, but for many people staying closeted may actually be the best thing for their long term happiness. But it's very easy to feel pressured to be constantly becoming "more trans" if you spend too much time on the boards.

[janet p]

Forums are great I'm 60 when I was in my teens any boy who wore girls clothes was crazy or something. As I grow older I found magazines that let me know the were other men like me and then finding Glamour Boutique helped me more but until I met Holly who gave me this web site I still felt that I was odd now I know there are others like me and I love to read about their adventures and problems and hope some of my imput helps.:love:

[trannie T]

I'm almost 60, it is amazing how much things have changed. In my teens there was almost no information about crossdressing available. Any mention in a reference book would be of only a paragraph or two. The magazines relating to crossdressing had sleazy personal ads and stories which began with, "One summer I was sent to live with my aunt." This forum is wonderful, information and opinion is available on most any topic rearding crossdressing. I don't know if my life would have been any different had this forum been available years ago but I'm sure it would have been easier.

[Joy Carter]

Let's just say I'm not feeling guilty anymore about who I am. And that's a good thing. :D

[Fionax]

Well I was a teenager in the 50s and it was a different world. Apart from the general taboo, just where could you find support or advice? The occasional newspaper report about the dead vicar found in women's clothes hinted that you were not alone, but that it was perverse and hilarious.

Now through this forum you can throw any question out and within an instant dozens of helpful girls reply with a multitude of suggestions. Armed with that help the wall of guilt just crumbles, and confidence floods in. Those who in the past felt a constant dread now can express themselves without fear ~ it is truly miraculous, how lucky we all are

Fi

[DawnL]

I think that forums are great. Where else would you be able to get answers to that question?

[ErikaLeigh]

I am so glad I found this forum. I grew up thinking I was some kind of freak, and not until I got a compter about 8 years ago did I realize there were alot more of us out there than I could have ever imagined. I searched and surfed, and read alot of the stuff out there, but there is also a lot of garbage to weed through on the net too. This site has been a great help to me, and will always be. My wife found out about Erika about a month ago, and if it wasnt for the sound advice and information I got here, it probably would have been ugly. As it is she doesnt like it, but she isnt ready to bolt for the door, in fact she said she feels like we are closer than we have ever been. So YES these forums are a God send if you ask me. Who knows what my life would have been like if I had the net 30 years ago, and this site.

[Janailene]

Erika Leigh:
Who knows what my life would have been like if I had the net 30 years ago, and this site.
Today 03:38 AM



Marie354: my life would have been a bit different. I may have gone all the way

This is the essence of the situation. The younger girls are more embolden and will go further in their feminine self. If I had access to this when a teen already dressing and going out, I could have joined Marie.

[Lovely Rita]

I think support is always a good thing. In the end the choices are always ours to make.

[Theresa(TGirl)]

I think the fourm's are a great idea.

And as for the "encouragement factor" they give, personally I think that now that a lot of people realize that crossdressing is not:

A) Illegal in any way (unless you do something stupid while dressed, such as rob a bank or DUI)

and

B) A sign of immediate mental health problems (You're not crazy!!)

And also they find out that they aren't the first to go through these problems, always, always knowing that someone was before you laying a foundation for you gives you a better feeling about certaion decisions.

[Jesse69]

This forum has taught me a lot about crossdressing. Before joining this forum I was always a closet cd with no wig or forms. Never thought I was passable.

After initially browsing this forum I bought a wig, forms, and shoes. And then discovered how beautiful and passable I am. Now I admire myself sometimes when I'm all dolled up.

This forum made my bad crossdressing habit even worse... and it keeps me hooked!

I'm a member of other forums but I have posted the most here!

To me, this place is the best cd forum.

[Suzie S.]

I have enjoyed being a member of this forum. I've learned a lot about cding and myself. It is educational and enjoyable to be here! Knowledge is power. It has helped me greatly to discuss topics here with like minded people. :hugs:

[AERIN]

Here I thought I was the worlds oldest lover of dressing enfemme at 64.
More than the forums it has been the computer that set me free. It has been 10 years since I came out traveling full circle from Sissy Maid, Little Girl dressing through Drag Queen and performer to normal modern gal. Well here I am back at Sissy Maid style and I love it!

[Rikkicn]

They are wonderful. With the help of the internet I'm now living full time as a woman. I never thought it would be possible. Reading about others and seeing their pictures and all the "going out" stories told me that it WAS possible for me too.
It has taken me over 10 years and lots and lots little steps.

[Toyah]

I have had a few skits with the forums one ongoing tho no one notices :mad: .
On the whole tho I think they are a good thing they allow us to see we are not alone and have allowed me to make a few friends as well.
I am not too sure about the restrictiveness and sometimes the pettyness and nastyness that seems to come and go in wavesbut still a tentative thumbs up:thumbsup:

[TerriM]

You question really struck home for me and brought back memories. I am 58. When I was about 27 I realized that I wanted more than just dressing alone at home when my wife and the kids werent there. Because I am from the NYC area I was able to find others like me somewhat easier than maybe someone living in a rural area. This was before the internet. I often think how different my life might have been if there had been an internet when I was a teenager. My thinking is that we all have our own levels and desires that we want to attain. I think with the forums or without, most CDs will find a way to express their fem side
Yours Terri

[RobertaFermina]

Forums in general are a double edged sword - can be accessed and used for good or evil.

This form has excellent moderation, and a well defined purpose.

Simply said, Excellent Management!

My thanks ( and a :rose2:) to all the Moderators and Unseen Hands the keep this place the positive and powerful Commons that it is !


:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Kimberly]

The forums are an excellent thing -- but it's going to be the girls (and boys) from these forums themselves, in the real world, who'll give transexuality the exposure it needs!

What I want to see is so much more debate on these forums... some serious considerations for what it means to be transgendered. xx

[kerrianna]

Without a doubt if I had had access to this forum when I was young (like late teens early 20's) things might have been very very different for me. I envy the young 'uns, because they do have access to all sorts of info/support/ideas etc. I spent my years in mostly isolation, having no idea what I was doing or who I was, or could become.

Although I did connect with a few CDers when I was younger, and I knew there were others like me out there, I'm generally pretty reclusive so I stayed in the closet. If I had known all you great people earlier who knows what paths I would have chosen. I'm in a much more complicated situation at this stage of my life, but who knows?

I think like everything else in cyberspace, you take the good with the bad and take things with a grain of salt. I agree with Roberta though - this site is well maintained and moderated. We all do a pretty good job as members too in keeping to the spirit of the family. :hugs: :love:

[Charleen]

I have no idea where I would be if I had access to the information that we have today if I had the internet back in my teens and early 20's. (I'm 56).
I DO know that since finding this forum back in June my life has changed! No more guilt! No more wondering if I was alone or at least one of the very few. No more irrational angry outbursts and wondering where that anger came from. Finally a true sense of self acceptance. A feeling of peace and freedom from my torment of wondering why I had to do what I did.
I get the feeling if I knew then what I know now, I wouldn't be referencing Charlie as there would only be Lily. Though I can't say for sure. The "What if" game is too easy to play.
Love and xxxx, Lily