Mom.......... I want to be a girl

[Sara Violet]

Well I finally did it.

I told my mom I want to be a girl. It took 18 years to tell her. I can believe I did not tell her sooner. She thought all these years I was afraid to tell her I was gay or murdered someone. She said that she will be with me every step of the way. She just wants to see me happy once in my life, and if that mean having a girls body then she wants me to be a girl. She knows how much I thought about what I have to do. She is going to help me find a gender specialist next week. I to start HRT as soon as I can. I am planning to try to celebrate my 30th birthday a girl. I turn 26 in may. So 4 years and 3 months, sounds like a realistic plan, right? I told one of my employees too and he is ok with it.

On the bad note me and my girl friend broke up. Five years together. My heart aches. I dont think I ever cried as hard as I did last night. All I can think of is if im doing the right thing. We will remain friends.

My mom told me that right now I have to stop worrying about others if I want to be a girl. I need to worry about just me and stop hurting myself over my worries. I know she is right, I should come out and let the cards fall as they may. The ones that truly love me will stay with me, the others are not for me to worry about.

I guess this is the big turning point. I am so exited. I can't wait for the day I get SRS, I hate this thing that hangs from me (not to offend anyone), but I was never meant to have it.

Im only afraid of rlt now (and telling my dad). I got to pass. It seems so hard. But that first day I walk outside and feel the warm breeze flow through my skirt, thats the moment I look so forward to.

[Tristen Cox]

My mom told me that right now I have to stop worrying about others if I want to be a girl. I need to worry about just me and stop hurting myself over my worries. I know she is right, I should come out and let the cards fall as they may. The ones that truly love me will stay with me, the others are not for me to worry about.



That's good advice. And I am very happy for you, and at the same time sorry to hear about your gf. It's a difficult road to walk but bravo for you pushing forward and taking the steps to get there. I think you'll do fine. Way to go girl! :)


Here's looking at you

Love
Tristen

[ChristineRenee]

You have a lot of courage Quidam. I admire you for being willing to do what you feel in your heart needs to be done so that you can be true to who you really are. Your mom is right, and your true friends will stick by you...those who don't were probably not have ever been friends you could count on anyway.

Your journey towards being who you really are is just beginning. It won't be easy...and you may have times when you question what you are doing. But stay the course and fight through...the end WILL justify the means for you. As you go through this, remember that you have a legion of caring, and supporting sisters right here to help you get through this. Any time you need one of us you come here and PM one of us. We care about your welfare and want only the best for you.

Take care and keep us posted on how things are progressing for you.

Much love,
Chrissie

[Tracie Lynn]

Quidam thank you so much for shareing with us, I am so happy that your mother is so fully suportive and pray that your father will be as understanding as well, their is sure to be ups and downs along your path and all I can say is "To Thine Own Self Be True" and if you need a shoulder to lean on I am here I may not know all the answers but most often it just helps to talk about whats on your mind and I am always willing to listen. Good Luck With you new Trek in Life.

[Tamara Croft]

Hiya Quidam

It's really nice when you see someone has finally taken that big step and found support they need from that person they so need it from. I'm sorry that you split up with your g/f, it must be really hard for you right now. But on the bright side you have the best ally that you could ever want. I read your other post about the split with your g/f and I was saddened by it... please don't do things like that to yourself... we are all here for you, your mum is there for you too.

Tamara x

[Priscilla1018]

Quidam my friend,

I am so happy for you; I also know the joy of not hiding who you are. I came out to my wife last tuesday. What a relief. Like the others have said , the road you have chosen is not an easy one, but you do'nt have to walk it alone, your Sisters will always be with you.

Love and Hugs,
Your Sister,
Priscilla

[Stephanie Brooks]

Quidam,

I'm very happy for you that your Mom is with you on this!!!!!!!! She clearly loves you very much, and that is the greatest gift you can have.

I too am sorry for you with regard to your girlfriend. You know though, my best friend is a girl, and she's Stephanie's best advocate. Who knows how your relationship will change over the years? You may find a very special friendship in her.

Your news overall is very good. Congratulations Lady!!!!!!

[paulaN]

your mom is a very smart lady Her advice is true. I'm sorry to hear about your gf. but you must stay true to yourself. and good luck with your dad.

[Wendy me]

quidam sooooooo happy for you greate news.... you are on your way with your mom
at your side . moms are greate........love her...
huge hugs ..........let me know tea party????

[BrendaJean]

Quidam, you have taken the hardest step in telling your mom or anyone for that matter. Many of us have come out to our family and some friends. Many of us are C/Ds and some were born in the wrong bodies (like me) :) You should know that you can get support from just about any of us here when you need it. Just reach out. Good luck. Big Hug Brenda

[Chrissycd]

I've made some big steps in the past six months too, but have yet to tell any family. Your courage gives me strength, honey. Thank you! I know that if I just do it, I'll feel incredible relief no matter the results. It's time to put up or shutup. Wish me luck now, k?
I'll be thinking of you. I'm sorry about your g/f, but you had to be honest, and that's admirable and honorable. Your rep just got a big lift sweetie.
Hugs,
Chrissy

[Kate_Uhler]

Quidam,

What a great example you are! Others see and read this and I'm sure it gives them hope and courage. I think you are remarkable. I'm so glad your mother has the unconditional love for her new daughter. There’s something sweet and tender about this real life drama that touches me. Ever since I first came here and saw your first picture with you in your hooded pajamas and your 'bed buddy' Sammy my heart has gone out to you. I am always rooting for you as you take these incredible steps. You represent to me how something which at first appears too fragile can eventually strengthen, blossom and fulfill their dream. You truly stand out among us in a special way.

kiss & hug to you an sammy
kate.

[Holly]

Quidam,

Your jorney has started! What a relief you must feel not that it has actually begun. ANd the best thing is that your mom is going to e there for you every step of the way. As for dad, give him some time and some space. But you should know that dad's and daughters have special relationships. I have a daughter (21 this August) and she will always be daddy's little girl.

Keep true to yourself, Quidam. You are loved.

[Rikki]

Quidam,

I am so happy for you girl. All though it saddens me that your girl friend had to leave you. Your mom is a jewel, mothers with love like hers has to be great. You have chosen a rough road, but you will be fine and You must feel pretty good right now, having told your mom and got past that worry. Keep strong girl and when you need somebody to lean on or to vent frustrations at, just PM me or email me. I am a good listener. Take care girl.


Rikki

[stevie h]

babe you are an inspiration to us all. Well done girl.


love

stevie

xx

[joann]

you are su lucky.i wish i ciuld be a girl too but its too late.love and best wishes,joann ;)

[vplshowoff]

You have a terrific mom. Your happiness is all that matters. What a great expression of unconditional love!!

I bet your dad will have a similar response. Any one attracted to such a terrific woman probably has similar traits.

Good Luck.

[Kassandra]

Quidam:

Congratulations! You sound like you have such an understanding mother! It sounds like you are coming out of the dark and into the light. And having your mother support you will help so much. I really wish the best for you. And while you'll probably have some more bumps before you reach your goal, having someone to turn to for support will help. I really feel that the worst for you is behind you and you reall are on your way!

And remember we're all here for you too!

Trista

[Noel Chimes]

It is a wonderful thing to have such a mother as yours. A love like her's can never be measured. Cherish her love as you begin your journey. And as you can tell by the responses here, we all stand with you and will walk with you every mile. i know I can't answer all of the questions you will have, but I've got 2 ears (pardon the ear rings), that are more than willing to listen.
"Be who you is. Not who you is not.
Those that do this are the happiest lot" :D
hugs and kisses, Noel

[Sara Violet]

Hi everyone :)

I did what I thought I would be one of the hardest steps. I told my older sister. I got a call from her last night, she just wanted to see if I was alive (we talk like once every month). While me and my sister always got along, she some times pokes fun at me, I always have been distant. Well I told her I just got home from work and was going to get a bite to eat. She asked if I wanted a buddy. Normaly I would say no thanks, but this time for some reason I said sure. We agreed to meet at my favorite chiniese restaraunt. I had myself a volcano bowl (fig. it would help me spit out the news). We were chatting and I brought up the subject how I just had to spen 100 dollars for my antidepressents. We got on why I need them. It was then I told her. I expected her to freak a little, but she looked more relived. Turns out she thought the reason I am so distant with my family and depressed was her fault from not being a nicer sister. As she though about it for a minute all of it made sense to her. She, just like my mom just wishes I told them years ago. She asked me not to hurt myself anymore, and if I get that down again or if I need my sister, to stay at her apartment a couple days. I am so happy. I always dreamed to be a girl and have a loving older sister, and now it will come true.

Me and my ex gf are on better terms, we went out for taco bell today. She is till sad, but is getting over it. She told her mom about me. Her mom thinks that I am faking it to piss my ex gf off. Wow talk about narrow minded. Come on who in this sociaty would pretend to be transexual. Anyways She is in school for TV radio production, and in one of there classes they are studying commercials. Turns out the tape of commercial was taped during an episode of opra, about gender disphoria (ironic). It was only the last 20 mins of it . At they had a woman on it that looked like a biker before transitioning, now she was beautifull, I was stunned. I hope I can be that pretty, I did not know that I can be a pretty girl. I thought that I would still look like me just with girl parts.

[danielle_bc]

I guess this is the big turning point. I am so exited. I can't wait for the day I get SRS, I hate this thing that hangs from me (not to offend anyone), but I was never meant to have it.

I also, as may before me, commend you on a very difficult and mind-blowing decision wnich you have made. You have decided to embark on a journey filled with glorious plans, heartbreak, monumental hihs and back breaking letdowns. You will experience many road blocks set before you by present day society and the system. Some to test you, some to deture you and all to try and change your mind and attitude. The ugly hoops and hurtles are all placed there by the system to make sure you really want to do this thing. You will be tested by numerous medical practitioners, doctors, shrinks, phsycologists and more to make sure you are mentally and physically fit to undertake this journey. It will not be easyu and everything will be thrown in your way to stop you or at least slow you down a lot.
I tell you this not to discourage you but rather to prepare you for the toughest fight of your life so be ready; mentally and physically. You might want to rethink your four year timeframe to something a bit longer and realistic. I had a dear friend that went through hell doing the same thing. I watched her life unfold, shatter and pull back together and she willed out in the end and made to final jump about a year and a half ago. As far as I know she is still with us and is, I hope, happy with her new life.
Do yourself a favour, find others at all levels of transition and get as much info as you can of all the stuff "they" went through. Educate yourself quick as you can. The medical community will insist on it. Also be prepared to start living as a woman fulltime for at least a year before you get any operations. I'm not exactly sure what the official time line is in the US or your state.
You think it is going to be a rough road to travel? You ain't seen nothin' yet!
Get ready, be brave and may the powers be with you.

[Shining Star]

congratulations for opening up to your mother and sister you have a long road ahead and i hope that it is an enjoyious time

[sunita_rao]

Well I finally did it.
..
Im only afraid of rlt now (and telling my dad). I got to pass. It seems so hard. But that first day I walk outside and feel the warm breeze flow through my skirt, thats the moment I look so forward to.

Now that you have your goal in mind, I do hope that you get this issue squared away with your dad just to eliminate any possible heartache in the future. Getting it out and in the open as soon as possible will be a sort of diminishing return to your expected difficulty and handling the situation. you don't want to be going through hormones and then letting your dad know. just my $.02.

with that said (damn i'm a prude, sorry :( ) this is an amazing time in your life. appreciate your mom, yourself and everything will be fine.

good luck

sunita

[Sweet Susan]

Incredible, Quidam. Simply incredible. I wish you all of the luck. Rough waters ahead. You'll need all of the support you can get, and I'm sure there will be lots of it here.