attitudes

[crispy]

Qidam's thread about getting her Mum to help her transition was wonderful.
But it made me think of my wife's reaction to a similar circumstance when we lived in a small town 10 years ago.

There was a transvestite who frequented the town centre. She was about 6ft, slim, thirty-ish, wore blonde hair, short skirts and heavy make-up. According to my wife, who was a pillar of the local catholic church, this TV was no more than a dirty pervert.

Later the ladies got to hear that she was having the operation. She became a disgusting prostitute and worse in their eyes. I suppose they gossiped about it during their coffee mornings. Maybe she was a pro, maybe not. I never tried to find out. If she was, maybe she had no choice because the town's attitude made her unemployable.

Small town attitudes maybe, but is it realistic to expect the local ladies ever to accept a transsexual? In a big city, people tend to be anonymous, unless they make a special effort with the neighbours, and almost anything is tolerated. But in a small town? I wonder if we will we ever see a change in attitudes?

[Sandra H]

Hi Crispy.

I agree with you in a small town everyone knows each other’s business. It always seems to be the churchgoers who are the least Christian.

But there seems to be two main types of cross dressers, the first who want to dress as near to a GG as possible. These tend to dress in a more “normal way” what I mean in more like the GG’s of their age group. So the right clothes, shoes and make-up for the occasion.

Then there are the cross dressers who are really living out their fantasy of what they would like a GG to look like. These dress in short skirts, very high heels, stocking, lots of make-up etc.

I would have thought if the transvestite had been a GG and she was over 6 ft with short skirts, blond hair and over the top make-up she still would have been talked about. Because to me that describes a tart.

[Wendy me]

small towns a just wonderful place to live . i love my small town... quite and peaceful
no rush no hurry............no door locked keys in the car not locked......small towns
yes are veary nice..........but yes thay know what everyone is up to for shure one person knows something the whole town knows.............cding out and in the open well
probely not a real good idear..............go to the biker bar in town in fem ??????????????? well you do i will watch .....closed minded got that right .....
cding here would go over like passing gas in church...........................

now when we go out to a big city (that sound small town ) to party and do things you get the feeling like your free i mean tons more people and way too crowed (for me to live) but you can just let lose and do what ever you want take chances that would be all over the coffie shop up town marking you for life in town..........in a big city no one sees no one cares............

love my small town ..................love to slip away to the big city to let loose and play

[Tracie Lynn]

Crispy Thank you for posting this thread, I live in a town of about 60k so its not real big but not real small either, and I have a good friend that grew up a CD/TG and at age 20 went for GRS, now my friend was very female good looking passes in public very well, always dressed tastefully for what ever she was doing at the time she didnt flaunt who she was but was honest and talked about it when asked, well after her GRS surgery she decided to go back to school and enrolled in the local college here and all was well untill some of the other students that had known her like I do started complining and she was thrown out of college, the issues were things like useing the rest rooms, playing the girl type sports that she enjoyed, and wanting to join some of the girls clubs on campus, well she went and saw a lawyer and was told that the only thing she could do would be to file sexual discrimination charges against the college, well she didnt want to do that and ended up moveing to a bigger city and finishing her education their, it just goes to show how the public attaches a stigma to people that are different expecialy the trans gendered, and some of the long term ramifications it can cause, "now for the rest of the story" that was 12 years ago today my friend still lives in the big city she is married to a great guy and they have adopet 2 children and she has built a very nice carrier for her self in the feeild of advertiseing as a graphis artest and has never been happier....... sory this is so long I guess I just needed to tell you all this great story.

[Sandra H]

Hi Tracie.

What a great story, it sounds like your friend came out all right in the end. I am so pleased that she has ended up with a great job, husband and family. I wish her, you and all the girls here nothing but the very best now and always.

Take care.

[Holly]

Crispy,

I grew up in a small town (about 5000). We had NO traffic lights! But everybody knew everbody elses business. I was impossible to do anything without it getting know at home within half an hour. In retrospect, however, it provided good training on being a closet crossdresser. I learned to hide stuff early on... for example, one of the "rights of passage" for a teenage boy was to carry a condom in your wallet. You just had to have the outline of that circle showing on the leather. Back in those days, condoms were kept behind the counter at the pharmacy and in order to purchase them, you had to ask the pharmacist. Well doing that in my town would have initiated a call to mom before I ever got out of the pharmacy so I had to drive 1/2 an hour to the "big city" to one of the chain store pharmacies to make my purchase. Don't want to hijack the thread so I'll save the story of that adventure for another time. Anyway, it's unlikely that attitudes in small towns will change much, and that's okay. It's part of the character. The bigger question, at least for me, is will we ever be able to change the attitue of society as a whole towards those of us who pursue a lifestyle that is "different." My $.02.

[Sandra H]

Hi Holly.

Your story about buying the condom reminded me of a great film I watched some years ago. It was called “The Summer of 42”. It was about a group of teenage boys growing up in a seaside town in the summer of 1942. One of the boys had to buy a condom from a small drug store. A great film, reminded me of my youth getting used to my sexuality.

[Danny]

Crispy,
Back in those days, condoms were kept behind the counter at the pharmacy and in order to purchase them, you had to ask the pharmacist. Well doing that in my town would have initiated a call to mom before I ever got out of the pharmacy.....

And buying clothing was impossible in my small town.

A sales clerk in the lingerie department knew me and my family. And wherever you went, the chances of meeting someone you knew was very high. And, if you lived at home, online shopping was not an option cause the package would come to the house.

So, access to a big city nearby was very useful.

[Sharon]

Gossip
It's fun when you do it, but downright terrible when it's made about you.

A lesson learned the hard way.

[Ashleigh]

Gossip
It's fun when you do it, but downright terrible when it's made about you.

A lesson learned the hard way.


This is why we should never gossip. It only hurts others and rarely contains complete truth.

[Sweet Susan]

So, TracieLynn, does your friend still live in Yakima?

[Vickie-CD]

Crispy, what you say is true. Years ago I lived in a large metropolitan city, for the last 12 to 14 years I have resided in a small beach community. It is as different as night and day, in my small beach town all the locals seem to know everyone in some fashion or other.
All in all though, I do prefer the slower pace of this beach community.
Odd how much of the time it is the church goers that casts the first stone and are the gossip-mongers(I am not bashing religious beliefs, some Christians do not practice what they preach though, while other true Christians do).
Love,
Vickie

[Tristen Cox]

In a small town everyone appears to be a bigger person verses the large city where nobody knows who the hell you are. Those little things stand out alot more, ie.. who you are, your job, what your yard looks like, what kind of car you drive. All those things become everyone else's business. It's fine if that's what you like but not good when you are trying to hide certain elements of your personality. That's why so recently a few have been struggling to come out or stay in rather, because news travels faster among the few than the many.

Even here in the bigger city there's a man who wanders up and down the same highway(heavy 6 lane street) and he's homeless and mentally disturbed. He's been doing this for years now always in the same suit and always combing his hair. I nicknamed him Colman(pun), and everyone I talk to knows him just by discription. In a small town I bet he'd be a big story. But as so many big places these people go unnoticed generally. Thought that might be relative to this thread.

Christine and Sharon, I really feel for you. it's not easy doing what you do and staying hidden. It's hope and courage that keeps you going even when times are tough. You're both very special people:)


Love
Tristen