If You Had A Choice

[Melanie]

Gurls, I'm not sure if anyone had asked this before so if they have please forgive me.

I would like to know if you had a choice between finding true unconditional love(the best relationship you could have) OR cding freely without such a realtionship,which would you choose?.

I think what I'm getting at is that I've spoken to a lot of CDers in the past who said though they love and acknowledge their CD side ,that they would give it up totally(or try) IF the right person came along.I myself am unsure where I stand in this case.

I'm just curious to see what the consensus on here would be?

Thanks much

Huggs Darlings

Melanie :hugs:

[Joy Carter]

Melanie you mentioned unconditional love. Would that also include accepting a CD partner ? I don't know, maybe that is too much to ask for.

[marie354]

If it had to be one way or another, I'm not sure I could do either without some kind of compremise.

I may be able to suspend "Sandy" for a time for true love, but I think that it would be better to share "all of me".

"Sandy" has always and will always be an integral part of "Sam".

[LisaRose]

Gurls, I'm not sure if anyone had asked this before so if they have please forgive me.

I would like to know of you had a choice between finding true unconditional love(the best relationship you could have) OR cding freely without such a realtionship,which would you choose?.

I think what I'm getting at is that I've spoken to a lot of CDers in the past who said though they love and acknowledge their CD side ,that they would give it up totally IF the right person came along.I myself am unsure where I stand in this case.

I'm just curious to see what the consensus on here would be?


:


Doesn't sound like 'being forced' to do something is unconditional love to me.

[Di]

Well you said ....unconditional love......so why would you have to give it up?

[Nicole]

Exactly, Di. My ideal love would accept me and my CD'ing, there is no other way. Anything less is not unconditional. Personally I am very fortunate because she does.

[TG-Taru]

You can uderstand it to mean,

relationship with unconditional love and CDing only at home and select few places (stay closeted),

or

no perfect relationship, but able to CD anywhere anytime (unproblematically out and about).

[Nicole]

Hey! I thought I was going to have an easy out. :heehee:

I would pick the first choice: Unconditional love and CD at home with limited privileges. I don't do well without lots of love in my life. CD'ing is wonderful but it cannot fill that void completely.

[Di]

You can uderstand it to mean,

relationship with unconditional love and CDing only at home and select few places (stay closeted),

or

no perfect relationship, but able to CD anywhere anytime (unproblematically out and about).


I like that TG Taru...it can be uncondititional love and cding at home and a few select places

but you can have a relationship...like our case...unproblematic ...anywhere...anytime.......( closeted by what the cd-tg partner deems as necessary)

[Marcie Sexton]

Mark me down as one of the lucky ones...My wife loves me unconditionally and supports my Cding...

I couldn't see life as life with out both...

[Daintre]

I agree with the others, an unconditional love would include dressing. IF however you meant either being alone and dressing to your heart's content OR having a meaningful relationship with no dressing, then I would choose the latter.

Why, well as I grow older, being alone is not what I want in life. I would have and should have chosen the mate, my partner in life, growing old with someone you love far outweighs dressing. Yes it would have been a struggle but the rewards are immense.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

We all have a choice it's just that we don't act on it most of the time. I am pretty lucky also since my wife loves me unconditionally, I try to temper my crossdressing though because I know it affects her emotionally. I guess that I put my own conditions on the relationship out of respect for what I feel she needs to get out of "us"

[Christina Nicole]

There are very few examples of unconditional love in the world. The conditions are not stated, but break the implied conditions and it's all over. For example, one of the big implied conditions is fidelity.

Warm regards,
Christina Nicole

[Tamera]

I would keep my CD'ing "WITHOUT" a relationship.
Love,
Tamera

[Ashley1]

Melanie, the intent of your question is clear to me, and I would take love in a heartbeat. Love is the real world and CDing is just fantasy.:hugs:
:love:
Ashley

[Karren H]

Melanie you mentioned unconditional love. Would that also include accepting a CD partner ? I don't know, maybe that is too much to ask for.

That's what I'm thiking too, Joy.. And since there is no such thing as unconditional love (everything in this world has conditions) and even if you wanted to crossdressing can't be done freely.... Or is that crossdressing freely like and not having to pay anything for shopping and cloths and stuff?? I like that option myself... Or even better ... unconditionally loving to crossdressi freely... Hehe

Karren

[Mitzi]

Gurls...

I thought Melanie was referring to "unconditional love" on the CD's part, not both parties. So to paraphrase what I thought she was asking...would you be willing to give up CDing if you fell heads over heels (hmmm...) in love and wanted to accept her unconditionally?

I guess many, if not most of us, felt that way with our spouses, thinking the urge to dress would just go away...

My answer, I guess, is...if I had it to do over again, I'd have conditions, that crossdressing be allowed within parameters she could accept.

Mitzi

[Lisa Marie]

I would keep my cding and not want a relationship unless my lady excepted and didnt care if I wore a womans dress.

[Melanie]

thanks gurls for some very interesting responses,I read them all,it's amazing to see how we all perceive cding differently.So I am glad I asked that question now,lol!

Jenni Y,Ashley 1 and Mitzi totally got what I was on about,no offence you other gurls ,lol.I mean there are no right or wrong aswers really.
I agree though that as I age I would at least try to curb my CD inclinations somewhat,and KNOW it would be hard but I don't want to be alone for the rest of my life either.You gurls with accepting SO's are very fortunate indeed!

Many huggs,

Melanie :hugs:

[Bev06 GG]

Exactly, Di. My ideal love would accept me and my CD'ing, there is no other way. Anything less is not unconditional. Personally I am very fortunate because she does.

Thats great Karen just so long as the unconditional bit works both ways. And if you turned that question on its head, if a CD couldn't give up his dressing for someone that loved him thats not unconditional love either is it.
I think as with anything just so long as there is a balance then things can work out beautifully.
I have to admit that although I love what the dressing brings to our relationship, and the fact that my partner is happy doing it, there are times when I read of cases where the dressing has completely overshadowed everything else in the relationship and then the CD wonders why his wife isn't accepting. Almost to the point of becoming obsessive. Thats certainly not unconditional love because it isn't considering the partners feelings either. Unless of course she is on board with that.
Most of us accepting GGs however, prefer the balance, afterall it was a man that we chose to have as a partner not a woman, and although its quite a unique combination that we have ended up with, I for one like the male side too. That was what I first saw, met and fell in love with.
Love Bev

[SandyR]

I am one of those Girls who has a supportive wife! Of course it does come with out its gives and takes, like tomorrow it's a give. The dreaded home show!

We are re-modeling our Kitchen.........

Huggssss...

SandyR

[Bev06 GG]

The true definition of unconditional love is that you love that person whatever they do or have done to you. That includes a whole bunch of things, like wife beating, or hubby beating, infidelity, dishonesty, lying, theiving from you, the list is endless.
Im sure if someone did any of those things to you on a regular basis, eventhough you would probably still love them, I doubt you'de really want to hang around with them for too long. So makes you wonder whether we human beings are capable of giving unconditional love and hanging around to support the person who's constantly upsetting us doesn't it.
Bev

[Melanie]

Hey Bev how are ya?,been a while eh?.

I have to agree with your reply totally,it is all about a balance considering your partner's feelings.After all relationships are built on trust and based on some sort of compromise hopefully for the betterment of it.

Huggs

Melanie :hugs:

[jessicanataliemonroe]

I agree with the previous post. I never like the term 'unconditional love' because I always interpret it as an expectation of unwavering love from another, regardless of how your actions affect that person. The expectation seems very selfish to me - like one-way love, and I'm not sure if that fits my definition of what love should be.

[Cami_wi]

Unconditional love is something you get from a faithful Dog . Allot of People can answer YES to unconditional love but when it becomes their TURN to do it, most fail.
Others also say YES I would quit CDing in a heartbeat for the right person. The RIGHT person for Most is someone that is Open Minded and is okay with CDing. So why quit. ( Hard to find ) You can find many GG's that are good friends and accept you for it, BUT they also don't live with you.
PURGING is a quite common word with CDing, trying to QUIT , again most do go back to dressing and if not are generally miserable is someways seeing CDing is PART of who you are. We were BORN with it, it is nothining to be Ashamed of, although Society thinks we should be less of a person if we do it.
In reality when the CDing is a secret from everyone they REALLY only know part of you seeing your CDing Personality is also part of you. This part may be the Happy go lucky YOU, or the caring you. My opinion is ppl should know the True YOU, but SOCIETY has made this Impossible to most. Being a FEMALE and Cross Dressing of Coarse is ACCEPTABLE to SOCIETY and they don't even really know what she is doing is CROSS DRESSING. You all see this every day, business women in 3 piece suits to house wifes wearing Mens Clothes daily, weather is be Guys Jeans ( cause they fit better ) or Flannel shirts cause they are warmer, or Guys Boxer shorts. I guess Eqaual rights for Men and Women, really means all rights ACCEPT the ones we don't want to included cause we want to keep them just for US.
Seeing Clothes Have NO GENDER why is it said you are wearing womens clothes or mens clothes ? I think Satin and Silk feels equally as nice to either geneder and why shouldn't it ? They are wonderful materials.

I just want to add some " thoughts " to this, generally stirs the mind.

[Lawren]

Fortunately I already have both but if I had to make a choice I would purge completely, never to dress again. Why? Uncondtitional love should create unconditional happiness in one's life. To receive unconditional love you must first give it. Crossdressing would be a condition and inherently bring in sadness and strife. That's a "no-brainer" choice for me.

Also, before I met Kerry, I went for many years without an SO at all. Crossdressing did NOT fill that void. IMHO, it's a horrible way to live and I don't want to go back to it.

[tanya3]

i'm one of the lucky one's , i have both .

[Melanie]

Lawren,
thankyou much for such a candid asnwer.I think you of one of a very small minority on here.I agree much as I enjot Cding,it doesn't totally fill the void in my life,in fact so far nothing does.
Unlike some other gurls on here I too believe that unconditional love can exist and in my past non CD relationships I definately gave her unconditional love.

Best of luck with your wife,

huggs

melanie :hugs:

[melissacd]

I no longer believe that unconditional (romantic) love exists so I choose cross dressing. I have come to the realization that cross dressing is too critical a component of who I am and so therefore could never ever again give that up for anyone. In any future relationship I will look for a partner who accepts all of who I am or I will be alone, I will not compromise on that as I do not believe that it is in the best interests of me or the relationship.

[Kristen Kelly]

I would say the unconditional love, but I know otherwise I had stopped for 2 years, was not going to do this any more, I became depressed replaced my dressing with eating and gained over 35 lbs. I went to see a shrink to work on my depression when the true reason came out, I did not have a clue this was the cause. Eighteen months later I have lost the weight and loosing more, have accepted myself, and found a life "I" am happy with, with many good friends. Sometimes we don’t make the choice it is made for us.

[Lovely Rita]

I am so thankful I don't have to make that choice. I have a very supportive partner, but my partner wins hands down.

[dressed2chill]

You may be able to give it u for a while, but as I have experienced, once a CD always a CD. The feelings always come back. It's like denying a part of yourself.:happy:

[Reneecdinphose]

Maleine,
Give it up for Love, I've done it, I have the best thing in my life and about well almost a month ago my wife of whom I have been by her size with since she was 19, she'ss now 33, found out about my second lifestyle, it devistated her and her worst fear was going home to her parents tell her parents that she's infected with the HIV and the possibilibity that I maybe "GAY", as my wife doesn't fully understand the full "CD" part of just dressing up, cause all I want is my WIFE, she's my lady,. She threw me out of the house, SHe took everything from me, she even tryied to end her life as she didnt want to live in the embarrassment that I brought on to her,. In the last 2 years I've lived my own life and did what I wanted "Renee" came out and played all the time, all the while my wife was hurting and working herself into the ground, she missed the love I used to give her., She found means to almost replace me as her husband with a very "RICH" man that wouldn't leave her allone.
After everything was said and done, I gave it up !!!, I no longer email, I no longer cam, I no longer touch the computer unless she's in the room, as I am trying to build trust back in her because I know I have failed her as a husband.
MY wife is an amazing woman, she's 5'10 muscular, a cd's dream wife as I used to wear her clothing and shoes, she younger and prettier then me, she's charming , smart, and she knows she can have any man she wants.
She's been my best friend since I was 29 and she was 19, our sex back then was so hot it was unreal, there wasnt a thing she wouldnt say NO to just to please me, I love her more then words can say, because I know that I have what everyone on here is looking for "Real" love, acceptance, a best friend, a partner, my everything and I was almost stupid to run from fear that she wouldnt understand to hide in my shame of her finding out., I should have never under esitmated my freaky wife, she's been that way....
I love her with all of my heart and in time... I am going to prove I can be the man she married. and in the bed room.... welll we can play dress up.
Kisses

[melissacd]

I choose being true to myself. If I am true to myself and I find someone who still loves me then that is unconditional love, whether being true to myself is being a non-CDer, a CDer, hetero, gay, bi, transexual, Antartic Kite Flyer...whatever.

If each is true to who they are and each loves the other for exactly who they are - that is unconditional love.

Now that being said, I suspect that it is a very difficult thing to find.

[Tess Myers]

In my opinion you're one true love should love all of you. If they don't then they aren't right for you. Maybe that's my young idealism coming through, but it's what I feel in my heart.

*Hugs*
Tess