Why do I feel hurt?

[nuriko_2sama]

Ok this is my thing. I go to the dollar tree out here in modesto by kohls. There is a MTF or crossdresser that works there. When i go there that person is ther person that i go to to check out. well i always make small talk. then move on. Well i saw her at the Store shopping for food. She is kinda heavy set but pulls it off so well and i wish i could like she does. but she didnt really look at me or talk to me. i hung around and looked at some baking stuff by her for a min to see if she would remember me but it didnt work. i moved on and went home. Why do i feel so hurt? Is it cus i feel that she is one of the Few MTF out here in modesto?

[jenna19]

Nuriko, I also work as a cashier and can tell you that I see hundreds of people every day. 99.9 % of them I wouldn't be able to recognize again if my life depended on it. Don't be hurt. Another thing, you are outside of her zone. I have run into people that I talk to all the time at work but outside of there I just get a vague feeling that the person looks "familiar from somewhere". That's probably what happened with you. You should have said hello and maybe offered to buy a coffee or something. You never know where that might have gone. A new friend, someone to dress with maybe. If the chance comes up again definitely say hello.

[Pippilotta]

I think you somehow assume that all crossdressers so to speak automatically are "family", sharing a common bond. But, of course, normal rules for social contact apply here too: what might be welcome attention to one feels like intrusion to somebody else. Most people have an area of privacy round themselves, and want to decide who to let inside, and who not. You hit against that wall, and that's why you hurt.

[Daintre]

I worked retail for many years in a busy location, I may have seen the same people again and again but unless they stood out, I really didn't remember them. There is much more going on in a store than just serving customers, you do not know what her situation is, also you do not know what is going on in her personal life. The idea of going over, introducing yourself and inviting her for coffee is a great idea, but remember, it has to be non-threatening.

[Karren H]

Well does she know you crossdress? You didn't say.. If she doesn't then she may think your some strange male admirer!! And isn't into that.. If she does know, then she may be like me... Where crossdressing is a personal hobby... Not a group thing.. I fly solo and really don't seek out others... Just the way I am.. So don't feel hurt.. I wouldn't.

Karren

[RobertaFermina]

Only you know why you feel hurt, at least subconsciously.
We could make suggestions until you recognize what is true for you.

Here's a guess:

You feel alone and isolated as a Crossdresser, and are hungry for someone to share this part of yourself. When you meet someone who must understand, and they don't connect with you - the lonliness gets even stronger because you feel you might never find a friend to share your whole self with.

lonliness can hurt.

Whatever happens, I hope you can get to know yourself better, so you can answer these questions more easily, and move more gracefully through the solutions.

With Sympathy,

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[nuriko_2sama]

Well I work at the mall so i see a lot of people come into the the store. i have to remeber faces. It helps keep shoplifting down and it helps me to remeber what the person likes. I work in a music and movie store. So i guess i just thought that other people rember like i do. And i didnt think that being a crossdresser or a MTF just makes us all family. I guess it did make me feel more lonly to have the only other crossdresser out her not remeber me like i remeber her. There are a lot of fetish crossdressers out here but no real ones. My GF knows about this but i guess i just want a frined thats like me.

[susie evans]

i agree with karren it's personal for most of us i have met others while out dressed and in drab and some times we talk and some times it is just a nod are nothing i have learned not to get offended just be your self :2c:

:hugs: susie

[Jasmine Ellis]

we all need friends, the next time you see her say hello then see where it gose from there.

[SandyR]

Well if she does not know you Cross Dress she might have been concerned shehad been made. As for me I too like to fly Solo! Only person I can disappoint is me.....

Just my thank god the week is over thoughts.....

SandyR

[jessicanataliemonroe]

You shouldn't feel hurt or rejected. There have been times when I have thought someone else was ignoring me, or acting indifferently and insensitive towards me, and I have discovered much later that they themselves were shy, or perhaps unaware of my interest, or even in one case they were intimidated by me.

It isn't true of everyone you'll meet, but I do think there are a lot more lonely and insecure people out there (not just the CDs) than you think. Don't take it personally when people don't respond the way you hope.

[GingerS]

but she didnt really look at me or talk to me.
Since you were out of context, she probably didn’t recognize you, don’t take it personally. Maybe she was just focused on what she was buying, or trying to remember her shopping list or recipe?

[MJ]

Karren is right does this person know you are a cross dresser ? i bet not !!!
so next time you see her for god sake tell her and why not say something like i love your look can you tell me how to do the same ? , if that does not open a door nothing will ...
BTW if i don't know you are a cd'r how am i supposed know there is no hand shake or hat or pin ... how do we know ??? you have to make first contact and see how it goes

[nuriko_2sama]

Well there was a time when i walked in and i asked her about her nails. and told her that i use press on's and she told me she gets them done. then i told her if i want to whear nail polish i had to do it in a collor that didnt stick out. And i was buying make up and hello kitty lip gloss. lol

[Sheri 4242]

Nuriko, I also work as a cashier and can tell you that I see hundreds of people every day. 99.9 % of them I wouldn't be able to recognize again if my life depended on it. Don't be hurt. Another thing, you are outside of her zone. I have run into people that I talk to all the time at work but outside of there I just get a vague feeling that the person looks "familiar from somewhere". That's probably what happened with you. You should have said hello and maybe offered to buy a coffee or something. You never know where that might have gone. A new friend, someone to dress with maybe. If the chance comes up again definitely say hello.

I agree! It is common to not automatically recall someone out of the shpere you are used to seeing them in. So, I, too, would have at least made a friendly gesture by saying that I remembered her from the dollar store and was glad to get to speak to her out of that setting. Maybe you could then suggest coffee or the like b/c that would be a great way to make a new CD friend.

[Kate Simmons]

Everyone needs their own space, especially when they are working. Maybe in a more relaxed atmosphere, she would be sociable. It's anybody's guess why she did not acknowledge you but I, personally, don't like being "sidelined" when I'm trying to get something done.:happy:

[AllieSF]

Hi Nuriko,

I am from the mid-west and I can talk to anyone almost anywhere. I have found that by saying hello everytime I see someone, after awhile they say hello back. Basically, it is establishing a non-intrusive acquaintence that later may become a friendship. Just keep doing it. One day she may respond and surprise you. Maybe she won't and then you haven't lost anything either, because maybe that is not the type you want to be friends with. Good luck

[Lovely Rita]

Maybe she is concerned about being outted......just a thought.