Stress Realisation! (Coming-out can be good!)

[pocoyo]

Oh... my... goodnesss (said with camp gusto!)

... I have just realised something.....

Since "coming out" about this gender business a while ago... I think I feel a lot less stressed out about certain parts of it...

Now that some of my family & friends know, I think I feel a bit more comfortable around them.

I don't have to feel guilty for instance when my Dad asks "How are you?" I don't have to secretly think to myself really suffering/feeling confused with this gender stuff actually... but you don't even know about that....

Now that it's out in the open it sort of makes it a bit normal kind of thing.
And like I can be myself around them, without them misunderstanding...
(Even if I do feel a bit embarrased/shy now they know my reasons for being boyish).

Sorry I know I'm not making much sense haha!

-----

I guess it's good to get it off shoulders too...!
Sometimes concerns can make you feel a bit bad/eat you up inside a little/make you worry for no reason when you haven't shared them with people. Then when you tell people... you realise.. you're not a freak!

It goes without saying that THIS board and community have helped a lot with that (as I am always embarrasingly telling you all :o)


Does anyone else feel like this?
That it was a bit of a relief to come out... (even if you didn't realise it at the time) and it's made things feel more normal to you and others?

[Kieron Andrew]

Does anyone else feel like this?
yes definitely.......like ive said so many times before telling people who i really am is important to me, it is definitely a weight of my mind and shoulders, i was never a comfortable person in the way that i wouldnt talk about my feelings until i started to open up and be happier with my gender issues.....now i can talk about anything....slowly coming out is a great thing :)

[pocoyo]

yes definitely.......like ive said so many times before telling people who i really am is important to me, it is definitely a weight of my mind and shoulders, i was never a comfortable person in the way that i would talk about my feelings until i started to open up and be happier with my gender issues.....now i can talk about anything

Yeah!!
It is SO horrible being seen as this GG... when you're just... not!!

So it's like a relief to be able to say to people "er....actually......!"

Glad you feel like that too :D
& wicked that you're much happier and can talk about stuff more now (wow me too!) Yay!

[CaptLex]

Does anyone else feel like this?
That it was a bit of a relief to come out... (even if you didn't realise it at the time) and it's made things feel more normal to you and others?
Yup, yup, yup . . . it was so hard for me to keep all that stuff bottled up for so long and when I finally started coming out to friends, co-workers and my son it was like the dam burst. I went the other extreme for a while, and it was all I could talk about. I'm sure people got tired of hearing me talk of nothing else, but they were all very patient with me. It was only my son who spoke up and asked if there wasn't anything else going on in my life that was not trans-related. But yeah, I know that feeling - good for you! :^5:

[Kieron Andrew]

So it's like a relief to be able to say to people "er....actually......!"

yup it is.....i think firstly its the getting over that ashamed feeling of being or feeling different, then being able to put it into your own words so that the people that matter get it.......like i said im proud of who i am...and i want people to know the real me.....especially those nearest and dearest....im not so bothered how the outside world perceives me at the moment only occasionally does it bug

[Tree GG]

9 times out of 10 dreaded anticipation of an event is worse than the actual event. :D

Glad you're feeling more comfortable and good about yourself! :hugs:

[pocoyo]

Yup, yup, yup . . . it was so hard for me to keep all that stuff bottled up for so long and when I finally started coming out to friends, co-workers and my son it was like the dam burst. I went the other extreme for a while, and it was all I could talk about. I'm sure people got tired of hearing me talk of nothing else, but they were all very patient with me. It was only my son who spoke up and asked if there wasn't anything else going on in my life that was not trans-related. But yeah, I know that feeling - good for you! :^5:

Omg... thatt's so like me... I just wanted to talk about it and work through it alll... theee... tiiimmee.... but I think that's pretty normal. :happy: I'm a bit less like it now though... a bit... haha.
In Dylan Khosla's book he says once he realised he was trans and came out about it... it was all he could think about and talk about too!
Hehe I'm glad people were patient with you, don't feel bad for going on about it to them though! It's normal that if you've been bottling something up and feeling bad about something and you realise there's a "cure" or a name for what you're feeling and that there are others like you.. or that you are asserting who you truly are on others.... well that's bound to make anyone wanna talk and think about that all the time! Only natural!
Thanks Lex :D


yup it is.....i think firstly its the getting over that ashamed feeling of being different, then being able to put it into your own words so that the people that matter get it.......like i said im proud of who i am...and i want people to know the real me.....especially those nearest and dearest....im not so bothered how the outside world perceives me at the moment only occasionally does it bug


Yes.
I am glad you're proud of who you are :D That's fantastic.
I think it's amazingly cool too that you're not often bothered how the outside world percieves you... sometimes that REALLY gets on my wick! (As everyone knows from my frequent "I GOT CALLED A GIRL" rantings hahaha!)
:^5:

[pocoyo]

9 times out of 10 dreaded anticipation of an event is worse than the actual event. :D

Glad you're feeling more comfortable and good about yourself! :hugs:

Ahhh you're so right!

Thank you Tree! :hugs:

[bi_weird]

Omw yes. It's just easier to deal with things in general when people know about it. I always feel more sure of myself when I come out, which can be stressful before, but is very freeing after. Coming out reaffirms what you already know about yourself, and means your a little bit less alone in dealing with all of that. One of the best things I've ever done for myself was to join a group through the school that was basically an eight week tutorial on how to come out and accept yourself as queer. Hehe that also jump started my gender explorations, 'cause I meant a girl there who doesn't believe in gender, and she got me thinking about what my gender was.

[bi_weird]

Haha whoops an addendum. So I'm out as bi to basically everyone in my life, but of course people who I meet can't magically tell this. Therefore, at some point in the conversation I have to drop in that I play for both teams if I want to feel like I've connected with that person, and it's STILL a stress relief, even when it's just a "btw, I'm bi" sorta thing, not the huge deal that it was a year ago. For those of you who are really out, do you still find that it's a stress relief? 'Cause I don't see this going away, no matter how many people I tell.

[pocoyo]

Omw yes. It's just easier to deal with things in general when people know about it. I always feel more sure of myself when I come out, which can be stressful before, but is very freeing after. Coming out reaffirms what you already know about yourself, and means your a little bit less alone in dealing with all of that.
Yay! :D :bunny:


One of the best things I've ever done for myself was to join a group through the school that was basically an eight week tutorial on how to come out and accept yourself as queer.
Wow, well done, that must have really taken some guts. Well done.


Hehe that also jump started my gender explorations, 'cause I meant a girl there who doesn't believe in gender, and she got me thinking about what my gender was.
Woah...! ....And that's how it all began *mystical, magical fairytale noises....*

:happy:

[pocoyo]

Haha whoops an addendum. So I'm out as bi to basically everyone in my life, but of course people who I meet can't magically tell this.

You could always wear a T shirt or badge with "Bisexual" written on when meeting new people :heehee:
That might give them a hint... ow don't kick me... OW!

[Evert]

Outing myself as ftm, well I almost never did that, but I'm pretty far already as outing myself as a lesbian (god I hate that word!) .. er.. gay. It's a relief every time I tell them.

"Whoo that's a hot guy, don't you think"
"I would, if I wasn't gay"
"uh? oh.."
"Look there, gorgeous women!"

:lol2:

[CaptLex]

Outing myself as ftm, well I almost never did that, but I'm pretty far already as outing myself as a lesbian (god I hate that word!) .. er.. gay. It's a relief every time I tell them.

"Whoo that's a hot guy, don't you think"
"I would, if I wasn't gay"
"uh? oh.."
"Look there, gorgeous women!"

:lol2:
Small world . . . I have to keep doing the same thing in reverse, Evert. People always assume that I'm attracted to women and make a comment about an attractive woman expecting me to agree. And I'll say, "yes, she's very attractive - too bad I'm not into girls, I'm into boys. Usually leaves them speechless. :heehee:

[Evert]

Small world . . . I have to keep doing the same thing in reverse, Evert. People always assume that I'm attracted to women and make a comment about an attractive woman expecting me to agree. And I'll say, "yes, she's very attractive - too bad I'm not into girls, I'm into boys. Usually leaves them speechless. :heehee:

To be honest I like it when they turn speechless. :heehee:

[Kieron Andrew]

To be honest I like it when they turn speechless. :heehee:
me too i love the shock factor, or the turning heads factor.....

I usually confuse men that are coming on to me in nightclubs/bars......by just telling em i want what they have but i dont 'Want' what they have i.e their dick lol...and that im into women!

[Evert]

me too i love the shock factor, or the turning heads factor.....

I usually confuse men that are coming on to me in nightclubs/bars......by just telling em i want what they have but i dont 'Want' what they have i.e their d**k lol...and that im into women!


Well.. I want their d**k, but not the way they think. :lol2:

[Kieron Andrew]

Well.. I want their d**k, but not the way they think. :lol2:
yeah thats what i mean lol

[bi_weird]

You could always wear a T shirt or badge with "Bisexual" written on when meeting new people :heehee:
That might give them a hint... ow don't kick me... OW!

Haha funny you say that. It's pride week here this week, and the theme was "Start a reaction", with lotsa dorky chem jokes, so I finally got around to ordering the t-shirt that was the inspiration for my avatar. I'm reeeeaaaallllyyy excited about having a rainbow chem geek bisexual t-shirt :-D

[pocoyo]

Haha funny you say that. It's pride week here this week, and the theme was "Start a reaction", with lotsa dorky chem jokes, so I finally got around to ordering the t-shirt that was the inspiration for my avatar. I'm reeeeaaaallllyyy excited about having a rainbow chem geek bisexual t-shirt :-D

Haha!! Yay! :D

[MJ]

Does anyone else feel like this?

yes it was hard for me to keep all this stuff bottled up too. it's so hard to be who you are when for so long i lived a lie


I went the other extreme for a while, and it was all I could talk about. I'm sure people got tired of hearing me talk of nothing else, but they were all very patient with me.

thats why i love you guys.. because you get it , you understand :love:


9 times out of 10 dreaded anticipation of an event is worse than the actual event. :D

tree is so right , but still i would rather not go through telling anyone


Well.. I want their d**k, but not the way they think. :lol2:

god if we could only trade i would swap in a heart beat * hey everybody look at what i got :D *

[ZenFrost]

Well, there's the good side and the bad side. The good side is a feeling of relief and not having to hide, the bad side is the people who can't accept it and shun you when you come out. The good side brings stress relief but the bad side can cause more stress. Pretty annoying.