She wants to see my clothes

[Amanda Shaft]

Okay for those of you new to my on going saga a quick recap:
Told the SO last weekend about my cding, and so far its gone okay! She's asked a load of questions and seems cool. Over the last couple of days the subject didn't arise then just now she asked if I would show her my stash of clothes tonight. Does this sound good? No choice but to do it of course just a little concerned that there maybe some sort of reaction as I wheel several suitcases into the room. I think it’s a good sign though! We’ll see. I wonder if she'll want to see me in them? Life’s great isn't it!
Yours as always Amanda x

[Staci G]

I know if I had to do the same thing my wife would take that opportunity to throw away as much as she could. That being said I dont know your SO therefor I cant say what she might do.. I would think to bring out your least favorite outfit and start there then if the reaction is good you can go for the whole enchalada..

I hope it goes well for you keep us posted

[CharlaineCadence]

just be honest with her. sit down with her first and talk to her. then do as she asked. don't hide things from her that is a shure way to ruin what you could gain

[Tamara Croft]

'She' is the cats mother.... 'my wife' would have sounded much nicer :(

[LindaTS]

From the sound of things so far Amanda, it seems to be going well for you and her both. Good luck.

[Amanda Shaft]

'She' is the cats mother.... 'my wife' would have sounded much nicer :(

Appologies Tamara, just shows how easy it is to think of ones self and dismiss the SO into a nameless 'She'.
Red faced on Red Nose day, Amanda x

[suchacutie]

Honesty is an absolute need. If it all gets taken out little by little, she may wonder what you haven't brought out.

So, an orderly presentation will help, I think, to put across that you are being complete and open. I wouldn't "bring out" the suitcases. I'd do something like laying all out on a bed or some other comfy place, and then take her through it all like any good exhibit. Also, then it's all there for her to go back to look at again, etc.

If she really want to do damage to it, that will happen anyway, so at least if it's spread out she won't be able to get it all at once :)....

best of luck!
tina

[KimberlyS]

Hi Amanda, I can relate to this. When my CDing hit the fan with my wife, one of the things she wanted in the process was to see all of my clothes. Her reason was that her trust in me was at an all time low. And actually she wanted to know everything. But, that is a post in itself.

So yes I pulled out everything. I mean everything. And she went through everything. Bra by bra, panty by panty, garter by garter, skirt by skirt. Yes she was surprised at the amount of things I had, which was about 2 paper boxes or so. She knew some of the things that I had already. And she was surprised at some of the things I had. Nothing bizarre. Mostly poor to bad styles and wrong sizing, mostly too small/tight. Colors that she said made me look sick and did not match. I had some vintage lingerie and a couple of fetish things like 5 in heels and a short skirt.

Other than I had a lot more than she thought, she learned I needed help with clothes. A LOT OF HELP WITH CLOTHES. She actually said I had nothing that really matched to make an outfit. And she learned I just wanted to wear the everyday to business attire for the most part.

Good Luck and I hope it goes well. And let us know how it goes.

KimberlyS-CD
Joe in a skirt

[KimberlyS]

I agree "Honesty" is an absolute need and "to put across that you are being complete and open."

Only you know your wife and an orderly presentation may help.

Tina said "I wouldn't "bring out" the suitcases.". But I would have them handy for if/when she asks:

"So where do you keep all of this?"

If I can remember correctly, I did not have any lead time. It was a discussion we were having and she said she wanted to see my clothes. I said when ever she want to see them. She said now works, so where are they. :Angry3: So up to the bedroom we went. She sits in the middle of the bed and I start pulling things out of here and there. She goes through everything piece by piece and ends up with things spread out around her on the bed. I am like :eek: and trying to keep :straightface: feeling :beatup: :confused: as she sits there :hmph: :sigh: taking things in about ready to :kickbutt: and I am :nailbiting: and :praying:

Good Luck on your presentation

[Bev06 GG]

Well good luck. You obviously know your partner better than I do, and I dont know the history or anything. I'd go steady on wheeling out the whole wardrobe in suitcases though. But then Im just going on how i would feel if that happened to me.
Lots of luck
Love Bev

[Wendy me]

well i would show it all to her and hope for the best ... be honest because latter on when she dose see it all she won't be happy you were not honest.....

[Daintre]

I have to agree, now is the time to come clean and show her everything, honesty here will go along way.

[StephanieH]

All's I can say is God b' with ya! I expressed my dirty little secret to my wife a little over a year ago, she seemed okay with it, and has insisted that she's okay with it many times since, but I don't dress and I get a really bad vibe from her whenever the subject is approached. Thus, all my stuff is dry rotting stuffed away in drawers and I'm largely a very glum little person to be around.

Now that I've depressed the whole world, I agree, be honest, but be prepared for anything, and it won't be over just because you show her your outfits.

Take care! :RND1:

[Eugenie]

Yep, you haven't got much choice: just be honnest...

If she doesn't like some of the clothes that you have bought, perhaps she will be a good advisor for a better choice...

Eventhough my wife never saw me "en femme", she sometimes saw my "femme" clothes in my cupboard and made some negative but quite justified comments about some of them, now that I think about it...

Unless your wife changes her mind and reacts negatively overall about your x-dressing after seing your feminine clothes, you might get her to help you look even more feminine...
I hope it will be the second that will happen...
:hugs:
Eugenie

[Kathleen Ann Trees]

When I told my wife a couple of years ago there was a streak of curiosity and she wanted to see what I had. At the time, it wasn't much. Shoes really. Just some basic heels and a a pair of boots. Nothing in the realm of fetish. Most of my dressing has been by sharing her things. She'd been about a size or so larger than me, but had a whole range of things in the closets. It doesn't make a lot of sense for me to be spending on clothing that we already have and that I can only use occasionally around the house. I'll wash what I use or take in the dry cleaning when necessary.

I could tell she wasn't real comfortable at the time and she's never asked again. I've added to the shoe collection and have my own make up and jewelry now.

Kathleen

[arani5879]

When my ex asked to see what I had it was to ensure I wasn't going to be a fashion disaster as well as to see if there was anything she would want to borrow. If she is taking it well she probably just wants to help out or to see you all dressed up to see how she really feels.

[az_azeel]

As everyone has already said Amanda... take it easy and I hope everything goes ok.. I was lucky... when I met my s/o I told her straight away about my c/ding... we then went through my stash and got rid of a lot of stuff.... we now go shopping together which is great take care.....xx

[Jasmine Ellis]

I think its good. My wife wanted to see my clothes then she wanted to see pictures then she wanted to see me dressed as Jasmine and in the end was to good to be true.
If she didn't go off the handle when she fronted you and your CDing then I think she wont now, go for it

[Wenda]

I agree with the theme of the posts: you have to be honest. Without knowing your situation, I would speculate that her request is a good sign.
I would follow some of the ideas re: asking her opinion/advice. It shows that you understand that she knows more about dressing than you do, and you trust her and her judgement. Caution: My GF liked some of Wenda's stuff so much that it ended up in her closet rather than mine! (I am ok with that). Good luck:thumbsup: :thumbsup: w

[carol ann]

If I was your wife and you showed an expensive collection to me I would be very upset that you spent so much money on what I may perceive as a selfish interest. Be very careful how you handle the matter.

[Amanda Shaft]

Okay so that was a little strange, rummaging through my knicker draw for my SO. She didn’t say too much but I noted how she checked sizes and labels and held a few items up for close inspection. She wanted to see it all: make-up box, jewellery, shoes, underwear, everything. She asked were it had all come from and over what time period, she looked at the half empty nail varnish remover and said that it would take her years to use that amount! She sounded surprised when saying that some of my clothes looked old and well used. She commented on how many eye shadows and blusher pots were nearly used up. She asked how you could ever walk in such high heels!

I guess what my SO learned from this viewing was the fact that this has been going on for sometime and that it occurs frequently, I’m not sure she really had grasped that fact through our previous conversations. It’s bought the whole thing home to her and once again we’re into a contemplation period where I’m just letting her make the pace and to ask any questions she wants. She didn’t express any interest in seeing me dressed so I will wait until she says something about it before leaping out from behind the wardrobe en femme!
I’ll post any developments, until then take care, yours with love Amanda x

[aka.laura]

There's a saying in German that I will try to translate:
You have to to present the truth like a coat, so that a person might gently slip into it. Don't slap it in her face like a wet towel. (Max Frisch)
Your hobby is a part of your life and it's a part of you. I hope your wife is at least going to tolerate
this part, it would be great if she is going to like it. Good luck! :thumbsup:

[Sheri 4242]

So she's seen it and now it sounds like she is processing what she has seen. This is a complex processing b/c it involves her emotions and intellect, her mores and her feeligns about you. That's a tall order! For you I'd say it is time for baby steps through the next stages. If she doesn't ask to see you dressed right away, that's okay. If your dialogue breaks down or stops, or if she doesn't ask to see you dressed, there are ways to plant some seeds. You might tell her that you love the feel of silky legs on silky legs (blush - ahem - well it worked for me as an initial ice-breaker many years ago). You may have to build up to the "whole girl." Maybe - maybe not. I'd just say, take it at her speed and don't push for more than she's ready to handle at this point in time. Maybe the ice-breaker will come from her suggesting (or you subtly hinting for) fashion tips. On a lighter note, be prepared about $$$ -- not that I mind b/c my wife and I have such a great relationship regarding my CDing, but I'll tell you that it seems that for every new skirt Barbara gets, my wife gets two (and sometimes three -- lol). Try making certain at this point that she fully understands that you are NOT more in love with your CD self than her -- you can't imagine how that thought becomes prevelant in many of our gg's minds! :love: Do tangible things that show her your love!!!

[Satinpeta]

I have not had the chance to tell my wife that I am a sreious CDer as I am able to dress offen but then she has never asked why I love to shave all parts of my body. I love her and we make great love together(often) but just once I would love to make love "dressed" do you gals enjoy this?

[aka.laura]

Have you ever tried buying your partner a sexy nightgown or something and then (play-like) wear it yourself? Or satin pajamas? Or -when making love- put on lipstick on her and then use it on yourself. Try to build in things like that. Worked with me ;o) good luck

[Billijo_06]

Be honest and don’t hold back anything, wives seem to hate it when you hold back, especially since you are coming clean with her. It’s too late to lie at this point, stay cool regardless of the atmosphere, if she starts to vent, let her.

[jessieblake521]

I would not roll a few suit cases in when i did that their was all the dishonesty that came in after that i would get rid of some stuff and show her some Conservative stuff you don't want to but her into shock it just put me out of the house for many months i did it all to fast need to give them what they can handle if you show to much their will be other stuff are you gay did you cheat and everything else remember you were dishonest with her and lived a lie good luck
Jessie

[Suzie S.]

Just wanted to wish you the best of luck Amanda! :happy: Be open and honest with her questions and maybe have some material for her to read if she is comfortable to do so. Take it slow. Keep us posted! :hugs:

[Angie G]

Amanda if she seems cool with it it's ok show her and good luck hun :hugs:
Angie

[Elle1946]

Be careful my wife wanted to borrow some of my cloths!

[Jodie_Lynn]

It sounds like your wife is cool with it, and I agree that honesty is the best policy.


However...... I might hold off on bringing out ALL the suitcases LOL
Maybe just some of you most often worn things, and let her know there is more but you didn't want to overwhelm her.

Make sure to let her know that your collection was acquired over time, and not in one fell swoop. The financial angle might put her off.

Hoping things continue to work out well for you both.

[Jodi Lynn]

When I told my wife, she asked to see my things. I showed her and she took them and locked them in the trunk of her car. Of course I though she would take them and throw them out. To my suprise a few days later she gave them back to me. Now she is not very acepting of my CDing, but she has borrow some of my things now and then.

[Roxi Loh]

I think this is positive for a lot of reasons. The only negative is volume if you have been spending and exorbitant amount of money (and I hope you have) on clothes that she has not seen she may have a problem. Otherwise, I would model them for her and see her reaction. That is unless you have a lot of fetish stuff. Then I would go easy on her...one fetish at a time. I see it as "all good"

[Lovely Rita]

Wow I wish you the best

[Margie]

I believe in total honesty and, if she'd like to see them, by all means show her. I've found in my marriage honesty has nothing but rewards!