Food for Thought

[GACountrygal]

DISCLAIMER-IF I SEE ANY FLAMING I WILL HAVE THIS THREAD DELETED

That bein said, heres my post-

WOW, ok I feel the need to put this out there, regarding GG's as I am one.

Sometimes people dont understand what a typical day is for some of us with kids, especially young kids. And dont understand WHY we choose to dress down more often then not.
Here is my typical day-
Wake up around 830/9 (Adam knocks on his door, or I hear Liana on the baby monitor)
If Liana (5 months old) is up first-Get the bottle I made the night before out of the fridge, stick in microwave for 30 seconds to warm. Go get Liana out of her crib, change her diaper, get the bottle from the micro, shake a bit, get her in her lil sling chair, prop bottle on a blanket so she can eat.

If Adam (3 1/2yo) is awake first-Get him changed out of his pull-up, into some clothes, and eating breakfast at the table.
Usually the wake up at the same time which is a bit hectic
Make coffee.
Sit with kids while tryin not to nod off while coffee is brewing.
Once coffee is made, guzzle a cup (ouch hot!)
Look around the house, see what needs to be done for the day, or check a list of errands I hopefully wrote out the night before, since I have a horrible memory.
Make sure Adam is done with his breakfast, take dishes to the sink (yikes full, time to do dishes!)
Check Liana, take her bottle and wash it out and put on the dry rack for next time.
Get another cup of coffee.
Put on some cartoons for Adam to watch so maybe I can get dressed in peace, and if Im lucky, I get to brush my teeth. (most of the time its gettin on some sweat pants, deodorant, bra, socks, and a t-shirt.)
Put Liana in her swing before she starts howling because shes stuck in her stationary chair.
Do some dishes, or laundry whichever needs started worse.
Get more coffee (by now im usually at least half awake)
If I have errands to run, I will take 5 minutes to put on some jeans, my workboots, brush my teeth, and hair. Maybe a sweatshirt if its cold

This is just the morning part.

Those of us with young kids DONT wear nice clothes because theres the slobber/spitup factor. Also we have plenty of bending, twisting and turning to do. Much easier to twise in something thats comfortable.

We save our nice clothes for special occasions, and Im sorry, but running errands doesnt count. Its a time to get things done that need to be done so we can go home and take care of everything else!

So, maybe I appear as a female lumberjack, but thats whats comfortable for me, and I dont have a problem looking like that. I dress nicely for family gatherings, holidays, and church.

Its been interesting reading some threads. I'm not upset in the least, just wanted to give a lil insight into this GG's day and why some dont dress up.

K, now that I got that off my chest..

Nic

[Deborah]

Please keep in mind some (maybe) of us are single parents so we know what GG's (in general) go through. I have 3 children and the average wake up time is 6am.
I'm also a full time college student and the only time i dress up is after the kids go to bed.
So yes i'm dressed down all day until 10pm. :D

[GACountrygal]

I understand that completely

I dont usually go to bed till about 2am, which is why I get up so late.

I just needed to get it off my chest more then anything.

Nic

[Wendi {LI NY}]

I have all the repect for the Mothers of the world ,I dont know how they do it with little babies running around ,cleaning the house ,dishes,laurdry,keeping the Children clean ,running erands,cooking dinner etc ,Then the man get home and said Hi Hon ,Boy did I have a tough day :eek: , I always heard mans work is for 9am to 5 pm and Womens work is ever done and 24 hrs a day ..So my bonnet is off to all the MOTHERS< with out them we would not be here !:love: hugs ,Wendi D

[MJ]

Thank you for your insight, we had three children and i was a stay at home dad for the middle one our choice so i know and understand there is just no chance to " dress up " unless you have a chance to go out but then you still worry about the kids while you are out so you don't relay have a great time out after all .
but were do you find the time to relax and to pamper yourself you know you need it too
hugs marissa

[TxKimberly]

Great post - a little bit of insight. My wife and I often laugh that she hasn't had anything clean on in three years, coincidently the same amount of time we have been blessed with my daughter. LOL
She starts out clean, then the baby wakes up, and it's all down hill from there! <G>

There seems to be a lot of posts the last few days with GG's defending themselves. That's a little troublesome and shouldn't be needed. Most of us CDs do this on occasion, something we sometimes get the chance to do. Its something special and perhaps rare, and as a result will devote a lot of effort on these occasions to trying to look good. A GG on the other hand, is a woman 24/7, a wife, a mother - it is not some rare and treasured event when she heads out of the house. Now when you ARE offered a special event, dinner, movie, a club, I'd bet the vast majority of you will devote the same effort we do. Like going out is for us, this would be a special event or time for you, and worth the effort.

Kim

[Jodi]

Hey Countrygal, Bravo for sayiing it like it is. I was Mr mom to my daughter from the time she was 3 mos old until she started school. Granted, I only was the mom to one, not two. Bless your heart. I can't fathom going in two or more directions at one time. I know the time commitment I put in with my daughter, and you are right. There is little time to think about oneself.

Jodi

[GACountrygal]

Thanks yall,
This was really just an insight more then defending myself.
I do get *dolled up* like my avatar when we have special occasions, but its usually family events and holidays and even church, depending on how the rest of the day is after.
Then again, I am not fond of gettin dressed up, Id rather be in jeans and a tshirt, lol.

I just figured maybe this would help some insight into GG;s as well as the CD's giving insight into thier daily lives as well....
it helps to put things into perspective sometimes reflecting on your daily routine!!
Nic

[marie354]

Keeping up with a child can be hectic indeed. My first son had the colic and was up and down all night long. My wife at the time and I took turns getting up all night long and tending to him/changing him. I did spend a few months as the stay-at-home dad and it wasn't easy keeping up with everything so I could have supper on the table when the wifey got home.

It was cute one time I was changing him... And right as I pulled off his diaper, he had to go... Straight up into a perfect arc and right into his eye. I couldn't help but laugh, you really had to see it. Needless to say his face got washed first.

[Sharon]

It doesn't matter why you choose to dress the way you find appropriate or most comfortable, you have as much right to do so as anyone else does. That said, I fully understand your reasoning. Personally, I think parents of infants should wear Hazmat outfits. :p

[ubokvt]

It is a joy to know half our society can dress as they wish or need to, and beacon of hope to the other half for what the future might bring. It is disconcerting that people on this form would judge anothers choice of dress. Unless its the wrong shoes for that skirt of course.

[GypsyKaren]

I used to be a single parent myself. That being said, I think those who complain are idiots.

Karen

[Alice Torn]

Some of us, who are in our 40's, and 50's, and still bachelors, tend to want a dream lady, all dressed up, and it is sometimes hard for us, to get real.

[kwebb]

...no doubt about it in my mind. God is female if anything. The only thing a man has over a woman is brute physical strength. Women have the spiritual strength, the conscious strength, just superiour to men in damm near ev'ry way.
How in the hell did this society get so upside down??!!??

Women rule this mutha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Brianna Lovely]

I well understand the busyness of the average day, having raised four children, with my wife.

I was discussing this with a GG friend, yesterday, and wondered if it was the "Women's Lib" movement, that has been a major influence on the average woman's appearence. As usual, the slightly tempered explanation of "practical" and "comfort", came up. But I think it's deeper than that. I think the "not wanting to be a sex object" has lead women to dress as drab as possible, so as not to be attractive.

That being said, my wife's day to day, casual dressing, was far and above today's women, who are dolled up to go out. In our time, a woman would never go out the door, looking like a slob. And my wife was just as much a tomboy as anyone, but she was also a lady.

[cindybarnes]

My wife dresses casual like that everyday, maybe a little makeup, and our kids are long gone. She does get dolled up for special occasions or if were traveling somewhere. We get reminded how much attention young kids need when we keep the grandkids a couple days tho LOL
It is true that most women dont dress to the 9's just to run errands and the ones that do sometimes look a bit out of place,,,at least they get my attention :) I often do my grocery shopping about the time the big church nearby is over and some of the women realy dress sharp on Sundays,, its kinda like a fashion show while shopping *S* Im usualy in and out of the store quickly but tend to take my time on Sundays LOL

Cindy

[Ammdi]

This is one of those topics where anything could be taken as an insult.

My deepest respect is for anyone who is a parent, ACTIVELY.
The lameo parent who is not there for their child/children gets no respect, but if you are there for them, all my best, and deepest respect.

And that being there takes energy, a lot of it, so if you don't choose to dress up, or trendy, or stylish or anything, no big deal.

Okay now, to my point.
<point>GG's in our society openly have the OPTION to dress up, down, trendy, stylish, or not.
Men? In this society? Forget it. Not an OPTION according to society. </point>

What bothers some people, is when that option is never exercised, or is taken for granted.

Personally, I dress for myself, in what I would be comfortable in.

[btmgrl6]

I don't do the half of what you do and still "dress down". Before I was full time emfemme,I would dress up way more. Now I don't always feel like,or have the time to fix my hair,put on my make-up,pick out an outfit.
Sometimes I am just too lazy...:heehee:

[Felix]

Hi CountryGal hope ya don't mind my input here! I have two sons and a stepson. When my son's were young I like you just wore my slobs cos I used to think what is the point I need to be comfortable to deal with all the chores and stuff. My earliest get up was about 5am that was my eldest son who is now 17, he was an early riser for sure! He was very active but my second son who is now 13 was much better he used to sleep till 7am or so much better. The day was busy and I used to work nights so totally knackered all the time. Then I went back to university when they were both in school and worked nights until it nearly killed me and I gave it up and just studied. I've always been very casual while the kids were younger but now I tend to like to look good as much as I can xx Felix :hugs: :RND1:

[Raychel]

I have the most respect for the women of the world today. There is no way that I could do all the things that my wife does in one day. And I totally understand what you mean about the dressing, Just about enough time to throw on a pair of jeans. And maybe get to actually sit down to eat dinner, but usually not.

But I still have to say that I really enjoy seeing a well dressed woman too.

[Wendy me]

lol way too funny .... brings back memories of when our boys were small ... my wife went through the same thing , i worked and helped out too ...along with still going through my own growing up spell...she will tell you she had 3 kids...

i got better at understanding and helping out ...most of the time she would dress comfy.... no matter how rushed ... no matter how bad a day she was having .... no matter how tired and worn out she was she always look beautiful to me .... mom's don't ever need to defend or explain .... after all if there were no mom's we all would not be here......

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Nic, Thanks for the insights on your typical day. As we all know, no day is really typical when it comes to young children and each day has it's own special adventures. At least you've given me a better idea of how things were from my wife's perspective when our children were small. Even though I was a good Dad and a loving one, it's a very special thing to have that close bonding and contact with the children like a Mother does, which, in all honesty, I would have given my eye teeth for. I also sense your satisfaction with Motherhood which is something, no matter how "feminine" us guys look or feel, will never be experienced by any of us.
As far as I am concerned, your attempt to convey what you do every day and why you do it, was completely successful, at least to me. The clothing is the least of it and your loving dedication to your family is apparent. This is a lot of what being a woman is really all about and you are indeeed a beautiful woman and great Mom in more ways than one.:love: Sal

[Sally24]

I darsay that even dressed down you look fine!

I'm not one of the ones that complains about what GGs dress like. If you have seen any of my pictures you will note that I wear jeans and tees as well as dresses. I do make a mental note to myself when I see people of either gender out in public looking like they just rolled out of bed and put the sweats on. Even dressed down a person can look nice. I just find it puzzling when someone doesn't make any effort to make themselves attractive. That goes especially for your average man!

I've seen many a GG that looked very attractive in a nice pair of jeans and a tee. It doesn't take scads of make-up to look attractive. Just a good fitting set of clothes and a beautiful smile. Have a great day!

Sally

[Bobbi Lynn]

I was off work when my son was about 5 months old, so I took care of him, the house and ALL related duties, Shopping, cooking, laundry, you all know the drill. I can very well relate.

[Daintre]

I have been a parent of small child and I know how time consuming it can be, The children always need to come first in our daily lives, any time left over is usually spent catching up. So how we dress at that time is really not important as long as we are decent. There will be time to "doll" ourselves up when all the needs are met or if a special occasion pops up

To go a little further, why do we have to justify to anyone how we dress...the answer is we DON'T.

[Rachel Morley]

Being a full time Mom is a full time job - I've never been a parent, but I can imagine that if I was or had been I wouldn't have had any time, energy or inclination to dress in anything other than basic functional jeans and a t-shirt to do my "job". Dressing up in dress, skirts, heels and make up would be n the rare occasion I went out to socialize.

[tommi]

Country Gal
I understand your feelings about getting up and all the extras involved.
It is up to both sides to deal with these chores and to make the time
available to our loved ones to relax and dress up special and do something special and romantic.
One of the regular comments I get is I dress nice all day I don't want to dress
nice unless you are going to take me someplace special. Old country buffet and a movie
are good for a stoning.
I have found out and come to realize alot of that over the years by my own stupidity.

[MsEva]

Well done Nic! Very true. It is truly food for thought!

[JulieC]

While it is food for thought, it is indicative of just one person; the original poster. I find no fault with the choices this person has made. They can dress how they like. It is not up to anyone else to decide how they dress, how much (or little) make up they wear, etc. It is up to them alone.

With that said, I'll echo to a degree some of what has been said. These are different times. I've repeatedly found mention of some women speaking in very harsh terms with regards to other women who dress down, regardless of the occasion. One I found was religious oriented; disparagingly referring to a picture of a mid-20s woman at a tailgate party in jeans and t-shirt.

It can be very illustrative to go back 50 years and look at magazines from that era. The way that women dressed then was dramatically different than now. I recently had a nice conversation with an 80 year old woman. I love striking up conversations with such people because I enjoy hearing about their view of the world, their history. She made a comment which jumped out at me; "I always enjoyed wearing pants. I should have been a boy". In her generation, growing up in the 1930s and 1940s, and becoming a young woman and mother in the 50s...wearing skirts and dresses was the norm. That's what you were supposed to wear, and anything else was strange. Today, if a young woman said "I like wearing pants. I should have been born a boy", people would look at her very strangely and wonder what the hell she was talking about. Times have changed.

Amazingly enough, women in the 1950s were mothers, daughters, wives, and a whole host of other roles. They were able to wear skirts, dresses, etc. and handle all of those roles thus dressed. They didn't *need* to be wearing pants, tennis shoes, and a beaten up t-shirt in order to get on with their day. Today, it's a frequent statement that women dress down so much because it makes life so much easier. Back in the 50s?

Does it make life easier? Sure. But, there's lots of things that would make life easier if we didn't do them. The deciding factor isn't, in my opinion, whether it makes life easier or not. That isn't the question. The question is the type of person we want to portray ourselves as. Society, for whatever reason, now finds it more acceptable for women to be less feminine and more masculine. So, many women choose to be so.

As an aside; I think it is harder for women to dress feminine. The reality is very few women have "perfect" bodies that all clothes look great on. Finding great clothes that are easy to wear yet feminine and look great on you is a serious challenge. I think many women just give up. As a great example, look at the TV show "What Not To Wear". The vast majority of women who appear on that show either just never got exposed to feminine attire or gave up trying because it was so hard to learn. Same for makeup and hair.

For a guy, it's easy. The clothes we as guys want to buy are always available. There's not a "perfect" shirt or "perfect" pair of pants that is not going to be there ten years from now. Look at photographs of business attired men from 1907. Look at similar for 2007. What's changed? Almost nothing. It's the same, drab, boring crap over and over again. It's easy to "get right" because it's so damn hard to "get it wrong". Buy a suit, any suit, make sure the hem isn't under your shoe and the sleeves aren't past your knuckles and the vast majority of people just aren't going to notice if it's polyester. Not so with women. It's every bit the opposite. Thus, it's hard.

There are shortcuts, and plenty of them. But, learning them is hard. My wife has noted (she's been a Mary Kay rep for 15+ years) that she can do all her makeup in less than 30 minutes a day, including proper skin care. For women who don't know what they are doing, it's more like 2 hours or more. What wife/mother has time for that? Learn the shortcuts.

My wife sleeps 6-7 hours a night. She out-dresses all of her co-workers but one, in a business with 50+ women (and only 6 men, I think). She wears makeup every day. Despite my efforts at equilibrium, she is _the_ primary care giver for our kids. She makes my lunch every morning. She irons my clothes for every work day. She keeps asking me what she can do to make my life easier. She can do all of these things because she made a choice to do so. (and before anyone jumps on me, I praise her to the heavens, and work my tail off around the house)

It isn't any more wrong for her to make a choice to be very feminine in her attire and makeup than it is wrong for a woman to choose not to be so. I am highlighting this to show that there IS another way, other than giving up on being feminine except for "special" occasions.

You know what's a special occasion? Sitting down with your spouse for a quiet evening cuddled up on the couch after the kids are in bed. Day to day stuff...that's special. People who dress up only for special occasions aren't dressing up for their spouses. They are dressing up to show themselves off to people other than their spouses. There is something wrong in that equation.


Hoping this food tastes interesting,
-BB

[GACountrygal]

Definetaly more food for thought BB!!

There is a difference in the way we all dress from the 40s/50s and now.

I wouldnt have been a dress wearer back then, even though I probably would have been an outcast because of it.

I am not comfortable dressing up. Mainly because it is not who I am. I am not a frilly, bouncy person, and the way I dress reflects that. Jeans, Tshirts, hiking boots and some days my ballcap. Theres other days I trade a tshirt for a nice shirt. (gasp, Im still wearing maternity shirts cuz Im still a bit on the large side from my pregnancy,yikes!) It just depends on the occasion.

BB, Kudos to your wife for bein as high class as she is. I couldnt be that way if I tried.

Its all about what each individual is comfortable with and being comfortable in thier own skin.

Thanks for the change in *flavor* its always interesting to see how other people percieve things.

Nic

[Lovely Rita]

One factor that is something to think about is that you can dress en femme whenever you want.

[Rachel Newark]

It was cute one time I was changing him... And right as I pulled off his diaper, he had to go... Straight up into a perfect arc and right into his eye. I couldn't help but laugh, you really had to see it. Needless to say his face got washed first.

Heheh, at least he didn't do to you what mine did, all over ME. His mother and I decided that HE had decided that it wasn't a full nappy unless we had to clean out his belly-button.

Got Kids?? Buy a pressure washer !!


Rachel Newark

[jking90]

a more serious reply than my more lighthearted stuff...

i work from home (my wife works outside the home) and we have 2 young'uns. so there's lots of counter-things going on:

first, i've got the kids by myself for about 30 hours/week. i'm working during about half that time, so unfortunately, i'll have the kids watching tv. the only good part - it's things i choose, so it's somewhat educational (bear in big blue house, sesame street, dora, muppet show, backyardigans, etc. or good kids movies - i turn off nick/disney tv after 1/2 pm).

my wife will not dress nicer (for her out-of-home job) until right before she leaves in case she has to feed the youngest.

i don't dress - well, never have with the kids awake 'all the way' - much because it's something i don't want the kids to deal with. it's something my wife and i go through, and it took me a long time to be reasonably comfortable with it - we don't publicize any dressing i do.

and, of course, because i've got to take care of them all over, clean up spills, etc. underdressing is more likely than anything else, but that doesn't happen too much.

anyhow, just wanted to get that out there.

[GACountrygal]

One factor that is something to think about is that you can dress en femme whenever you want.

en femme? ima gg, technically im always en femme?
Or have I taken this out of context???
im confused!! (read blonde moment :heehee: )

[ashlee chiffon]

sorry that one as busy and involved with your family as you are feels included in the "dress down" posts...but i would take it with a grain of salt and consider the motivations behind the posts...i totally agree that "dressing up" is a lot of work and who wants to go to the 'nines" every day with clothes or makeup, anyway?
i think that cd's that criticize on this level are doing so because of the fact that they Want to dress and are limited, wheras women can and choose not to...
and i have to sympathize with those of us who see most women *yes, many without kids or families* in jeans and shirts and wish they were in dresses and skirts as We like to see them dress! Selfish? probably so! But how are we ever to learn how to mix and match, do makeup and walk in heels, wear the proper jewelry and handbags...sit and stand...etc., without observing the better sex doing all these things correctly...

i'd have to say we're a little selfish in our motivations...
sorry Luv!

[noname]

i think that cd's that criticize on this level are doing so because of the fact that they Want to dress and are limited, wheras women can and choose not to...

Just wanted to sound off regarding choice. My wife was telling me the GG's at work were talking about how lucky the guys are, simply because they don't have to worry much about color or style, and just put clothes on, and head on out.

Ok, I agree, guys can do that. Women can, but not to the same extent. I told my wife, sure... the GG's at work say that they'd love that, and they probably would. But I pointed out, they would like that, until they realized they HAD to do that ALL the time. She agreed that they would most likely not be happy in the long run with no options.

She did however tell them that hey guy is stylish and for some guys it sucks, cause they do want to style up, but can't. The GG's agreed that would suck, but that when they do see a guy who really styles up, they want to borrow his clothes.

Options people, options... people want options. At least I do.