Just an Odd Thought

[ubokvt]

There appears to be a common theme in many threads, that many people, possibly socity in general, have fairly negative judments around males dressing in women's clothes. It seems many can't accept dressing and some find it an abomination, and sin against whatever. Its strikes me as odd, that in our society, it is probably more acceptable for a man to have an afair or two, or another woman or two on the side, than dress differently. A philanderer ( I coundn't think of a better term) at least get ponts for being male and performing "normal" male behavior. What do you think and so's and GG's could you better accept your "man" if he had an afair that dressing in your clothes?

[claireswife-gg]

I think those who are quick to throw stones are just as quick to forget the commandments, or make excuses why they strayed. Yup. Look at Largo.

My spouse and I are devoted to one another, she is in transition, and I wouldn't change a thing.

[CDTiffany]

Every one, in the, whole wide world! Needs, to look in the mirror. And deside, If they want to, throw stones, while living in a GLASS HOUSE!!!!!
We are very cool Girls!!!!!!!!!!
NUF SAID!
XOXO Tiffany

[Tina Dixon]

The world thinks were wierd, I don't know what else to say on the subject.

[Kate Simmons]

What makes a man "normal"? I dunno. It's tough enough to live up to that ideal male image everyone creates for you, which is why I refused to do it any longer. It seems guys cannot win, no matter what they do. If they don't take the lead in things, they get criticized for that. If they do so called "macho" things, they get chided for that. It really is an impossible thing to live up to as far as society is concerned. We're expected to be the "perfect" man, husband and father which is total BS and does not exist any more than a perfect woman does. We are all "winging it" in that respect.

I have much more respect for people who are honest with themselves and their feelings. Most of the folks here are a good example of that and have the courage to be themselves, whereas most "normal" people have never taken that step because of fear or confusion. Society would function much better as a whole if we would all forget about our "differences" and concentrated on working together. So much is lost by "pigeonholing" people and so much more is gained by really getting to know them. If I have learned anything in all of this, it's that.:happy:

[Raychel]

That whole thing does seem kinda wierd, While my wife and I were at the counsleors, aftre I told her, She once said that she almost wish that I had told her that I had an affair, rather than this. That didn't make to much sense to me then, and still doesn't. :rolleyes:

[ubokvt]

thank you Salandra for for you sound insights and well considered comments. I appreciated hearing them here. Again thank you, what you said was very supportive of me in my journey

[Daintre]

You know, ubokvt, I have also thought about this. I came to the conclusion that a wife or girlfriend would forgive an indiscretion such as having an affair far easier than having to come to grips with her man in a dress.

To me the answer was that after the affair, the SO's mate was still a "man" and she has a better chance of resolving the situation.

The SO who catches her mate dressed, has the shock of that but has to deal with the question, is my "man" gay, does he want to be a woman.

*personal note*

Although I do not condone affairs, I really do think that it is easier to put that behind you (if you are committed) than the ongoing dressing which we know we cannot stop.

[Pippilotta]

A man having an affair is acting according to a conventional cultural pattern ("Casanova"). A man dressing up as a woman is acting against convention, ie doing something unexpected, and therefore scary, or threatening. It very much, though, is a matter of perception (maybe what I learnt as a child) and habit. Remember when "Beatlemania" broke out and boys/young men suddenly went from short haircut to long hair, curls, tails ? I well recall all the moans about "unmanly" etc etc, and at that time I managed to cause rather much consternation in adults by pointing out that Jesus apparently wore his hair long...
I am personally not entirely sure that we in fact are causing as much shock & consternation as we claim. Many married women bear with spouse's behaviour that seems considerably more difficult to handle than make-up, female dress, and such.

[NatalieH]

I came to the conclusion that a wife or girlfriend would forgive an indiscretion such as having an affair far easier than having to come to grips with her man in a dress.
I really do think that it is easier to put that behind you (if you are committed) than the ongoing dressing which we know we cannot stop.

Jenni,

To me, having an affair is breaking the trust between the two; once it's broken, I don't think it can ever be completely restored. Contrast that with a CD who's honest about his/her feelings, and continues to be faithful. I can understand a GG saying, as a first reaction, she'd rather he was having an affair, but I have trouble believing she really means it, given the long-term effects.

Natalie

[az_azeel]

Maybe it stems from the old.... crossdressers are gay.... and that women fear that.. i think they can cope with the fact if you had an affair... but they think because you crossdress then you might be having an affair with a man......to some women that would be unforgivable... I also think that we as crossdressers are going through what victorian females went through when they wanted to wear pants.... maybe in another ten years or so we will see a loy more men wearing dresses etc in public and it will be the norm


take care

az

[Dragster]

In some of the abortive discussions I've had with my non-supportive wife, who says she wants a "Real Manly Man", I've pointed out that I've had manly interests since childhood (Meccano, model aircraft, motor sports), I've had a manly career, engineering, I dress like a man, drive a manly car (V8 Cobra replica), love sports (watching and doing) etc. But I've got a feminine side too, that helps in the home (she'd prefer more of that!), love foreplay and cuddles after (not the "Wham-bam thank you mam" type at all), and 100% monogamous. Neither of us has ever had another sexual partner. Then asked her whether she really wanted me to change all that to become a male chauvanist!

If she thinks my liking to wear sexy female clothing is a FEMININE trait, what does she think NOT liking to wear such clothing is, (and she doesn't, even when there's only the two of us)? Is that a MASCULINE trait of hers then?

We're still talking, very slowly!
Tony

[Billijo_06]

People are misguided, they will take one thing that they think they know, assume anything that they don’t know and rendered judgment based on nothing. Most of the time, I find that judgments in society are based on feelings, not facts.

[Summer]

I have to chime in. I have been dressing as a woman all my adult life. Not 24/7 but most of the time. Here is what I have found. I make no secret that I am a man dressed as a woman. At first I got the looks everyone talks about. But as time went by and people got to know me. That stopped, and I started to become accepted. I have always passed well as a woman, this helps but it is what it is, if you want to dress in public all the time you have to go thru the process of acceptance.
It all started for me at the University, that is where I meet my wife and soon to be my SO. We have raised two girls and live a fairly normal life this way.

I have been too long winded on the subject. Don't get me wrong it is a hard road to travel, one for me worth the effort.
Summer:o

[Emma England]

Too many people make judgments before even chatting to someone.

There is yet to be a perfect man or a perfect woman. We all have a bit of devil inside us.

[Lovely Rita]

In my opinion, crossdressing is especially looked down upon because society in General has a low opinion of Woman. For a man to dress as a woman is looked down upon because in the eyes of society he is degrading himself.

Not until society respects and admires woman fully will this change. Why is it not looked down on for a woman to dress in lumber jack shirt etc.

When she is dressing like a man she is not degrading herself, so to speak.

I have made it a conscious effort to hold up woman and all their accoutriments inorder to have a much healthier and positive sense of the feminine.

[mylitta]

What do you think and so's and GG's could you better accept your "man" if he had an afair that dressing in your clothes?

Absolutely NOT!! I have been in both situations (not with the same man) and I can say that the shock and grief I felt when I found out about the affair were far worse than finding that my partner is a CD. I can come to terms with that far easier than being with someone who has cheated and betrayed me.

[vbcdgrl]

I think a lot of GGs will be jealous of their CDing partner. They will see him, in his CD personna, as competition for her affections, just as if he were having an affair. And, the unknown factors, i.e, is he gay?, is he some kind of deviate? just add to the confusion. Wow, it's a tough pill to swallow.

Vikki