Wanna Help Me With My Homework?

[Dasein9]

I have a question, and may use the responses in a paper I'm writing. I promise not to use anyone's name, and will not quote without permission.

Have you felt that your maturity level is linked in any way to your gender, particularly to being tg, ts, or tv? (Did I leave anyone out of the alphabet soup? Pardon me if I did.)

[CaptLex]

Have you felt that your maturity level is linked in any way to your gender . . . ?
Um yeah, probably . . . but I'm not sure how you mean. Of course, I'm in the unique situation of feeling young/middle-aged at the same time, mature/immature at the same time and experienced/naive at the same time, due to feeling that my male side only woke up recently. While some guys here are still going through their first youth, I'm starting my second. Not sure if that's helpful. Do you need more specifics?

BTW, is this question open to everyone? Or specifically . . . FtMs? MtFs? GGs? - just so people should know whether they can answer it.

[jsoto81]

I'll try and help.

I think you're as mature as you're required to be. My brother (who is GM and 2 years younger than me) and I share the same maturity level (I don't know if that's good or not). We both know when it's time to have fun and when to stop goofing around.

There are people at my work that are my brothers age that are a lot more immature than we are. So like everything else in life I think it depends on the person.

I hope that helpped just a little

[John]

In a way, though it really depends on how you difine maturity. On one hand, I can look after myself practicially (not to mention my flatmats. The number of times they're asked me how long they're supost to cook something, or to move a spider...), handle bills and organisation of people, and that I don't atribute to gender but rather upbringing. There was no way my mother was going to not teach me to look after myself and deal with the world.

But on the other hand, I'm crude, smutty, read comic-books, watch cartoons (tom & jerry is a faverate) and other imature things (like Bottom), and play fight with my brother; in short I can be extreamly imature when I want to, and that I blaim on my masculinity. Yow know what they say about men, we never grow up :D .

[kerrianna]

What's maturity? :heehee:

Interesting question. I think it's a double edged sword for me. In some ways I'm more mature because I tend to see things in a broader more balanced sense. It has increased my empathy and sympathy, which I think are aspects of a mature mind.

On the other hand, because I wasn't allowed to explore my 'other' side when I was younger (well not much and not openly) now when I do it is as a younger person - like I'm going through the growing up on that side that I didn't get to do.

Overall I think I've always wanted to stay at least partly immature, and I'm not sure if it is related to gender at all. I remember as a kid hearing adults talk about work, and politics, and money... and thinking how dreadfully boring! I'm NEVER going to grow up. Worked for me so far. :heehee: :D (I think they call it the Peter Pan Syndrome - I say :tongueout to that!)

[Dasein9]

Anyone can answer, but I'd appreciate if anyone who answers and doesn't identify as trans to some degree (using trans as a shorthand for the alphabet soup that doesn't quite suffice to identify all of us) would tell me, so I don't get a skewed idea.

I'm leery of defining maturity for fear of skewing the answers. I'm not a professional statistician, and so don't want to pollute the responses.

Sorry, but maybe y'all's own interpretations will give me some insight that's useful. I know, I'm being annoying, but it's for a good reason!

[kerrianna]

Anyone can answer, but I'd appreciate if anyone who answers and doesn't identify as trans to some degree (using trans as a shorthand for the alphabet soup that doesn't quite suffice to identify all of us) would tell me, so I don't get a skewed idea.

I'm leery of defining maturity for fear of skewing the answers. I'm not a professional statistician, and so don't want to pollute the responses.

Sorry, but maybe y'all's own interpretations will give me some insight that's useful. I know, I'm being annoying, but it's for a good reason!

You're not being annoying. I think maturity is self evident to most people. I was trying to be funny in my usual immature way when I asked...hehe..huh. :heehee:

For the record I do identify as TG at the very least. Not sure where on the spectrum I fall, but I like your alphabet soup image as a description. Keeps spelling out G.I.R.L. in mine. Hmmm. Must have got the wrong bowl.

*wanders off to see if there's been a mistake in the kitchen*

[Kieron Andrew]

*wanders off to see if there's been a mistake in the kitchen*
*hides Kez's bowl!*

[Abraxas]

I dunno, I think I tend to be pretty mature most of the time (although you guys'll probably argue that).
I always have been, though. My grandma says when I was a baby people told her I looked like a little professor. No idea what that means. But as a kid I remember I never allowed myself to run wild in public-- I wanted to seem grown-up all the time. These days, it's the same thing. Except, for some reason, whenever I go out anywhere with my mum, I revert to a five-year-old, whimpering that the freezer section is too cold or squealing excitedly when I see something I want.
As for why... I have no idea. I've never really thought about it too much. It could be just my general nervousness and insecurity, and probably is-- but I also have no idea how much that has to do with me being trans, and how much it has to do with whatever type of social anxiety disorder I seem to have.

And you can quote me, if you'd like... Not that there's probably anything very useful there.

[kerrianna]

I dunno, I think I tend to be pretty mature most of the time (although you guys'll probably argue that).


:rolleyes: , oh yeah sure...we've noticed how mature you are.

*remembering pictures of Abraxas rolling around on the floor with his buddies*

[pocoyo]

Hmm it's funny, I was wondering about this myself the other day.

I was wondering if the reason for my total babyishness/immaturity was because I am trans and haven't been "allowed" (by like... society) to flourish and become the man I have potential to be.
I found myself wondering if I transitioned... would I suddenly grow up, and become mature :worried:

I expect though that it was just one of my hundreds of boringly over-analytical, flyaway thoughts I have on the subject, myself, and life in general.

To be honest, I think whatever gender I'd been born, whatever circumstances I would still be the completely immature fool I am today :D
It's just who I am.

It's interesting though... even though I am blatantly... a child.... there is also a weirdly mature side to me too. When I was a little younger (18) and my aunt said to me on the phone "Yes... but you're a very young 18" I was actually really shocked and said to her "Actually some people say the opposite". But then I guess sometimes when you're a teenager you do feel like you're much more grown up than you really are.

My old counsellor thought perhaps the reason I am so child-like is because when I was a little kid suddenly a whole bunch of stuff happened and no-one was there for me... so I sort of never progressed. But I don't think that's true.

I think basically... what it is... is that I am the type of person that is sort of .. hmm.. "geeky".... the kind that is into LOTR and likes to collect things, play on my psp... into rock music & likes classic stuff like Sonic. And is into The Simpsons, Family Guy, King of the Hill, Futurama, comic books, fantasy novels etc.
Er... I'm not explaining this bit at all well. You probably get the general gist though.

It's interesting that certain males (most hehe?) really don't ever seem to grow up. Like video shop geek type people, they have a sort of licence to stay eternally immature. THAT is the kind of person I am. And I do happen to work in a video shop lol.

And I have also always been that Peter Pan type... and been like what Kerrianna said... always thought grown up stuff looks and sounds and seems so boring & just don't want to get involved.

An ex boyfriend of mine that was 20 something when I was like 16, got in contact recently and at one stage tried to make me feel bad that I didn't understand (care about) stuff like buying my own house & getting a mortgage and sorting out a boring load of crap like that.
I though "Oh f*ck off.. why should I? I don't want to do anything like that right now, I'm far too young and I'm a free spirit. That's just not me." I think I would be a bit like that even if I was like 45 (sorry... I should say 55, as 50 is the new 40 lol). It's just the kind of messy, immature, freedom-loving rock n' roll person I am. He is one of those people that are young... but think they are about 100 years old from when they were about 15 lol. YAWN.


Sorry... I've waffled on a bit lol!
And strayed somewhat from the original point.

Well.. I've wondered if it's linked to my gender... but my conclusion is... I don't know!

It could be a factor though because I am very male in my thoughts & behaviours.
I am definitely far less mature about many things than girls my age I would say.

I guess basically, gender could play a factor... but it's all just linked in with... who you are, as a whole.

[CaptLex]

I can relate to everything you said, Poc. What I don't know is if it has anything to do with being trans or if I just refuse to grow up also (you, me and Kerrianna should take the next ship to Neverland). At my age, most of my peers are dragging me down with their talk of grandchildren, retirement pensions and various aches and pains. I don't want to hear that! My mind is nowhere near theirs, even if we're in the same age group. I suppose they may see me as immature (or maybe they think I'm going through a mid-life crisis), but I've always been this way.

It may have something to do with my having to grow up kind of quickly, so part of me stayed behind and never caught up. I don't know. Or maybe it is related to being trans - because I'm going through my second puberty. Not sure about any of this. And now my head hurts. :p

[kerrianna]

I think basically... what it is... is that I am the type of person that is sort of .. hmm.. "geeky".... the kind that is into LOTR and likes to collect things, play on my psp... into rock music & likes classic stuff like Sonic. And is into The Simpsons, Family Guy, King of the Hill, Futurama, comic books, fantasy novels etc.


:daydreaming: :lovestruck: :thumbup: :^5: :dancing: :bighug:

Hey, when's the ship leaving Capt? Can I bring my teddy bear?

[pocoyo]

Haha Cap! I was still editing my post :heehee:

Well yeah... I mean it's a hard one to tell...

I have noticed a lot of the guys having disgusted feelings about "growing up"... so is it something in the FTM make up? Is it because we are male? Or is it just a coincidence? Or is it just because transpeople in general are open-minded, creative people?

Wow! Time to stop thinking about that for now haha!

[pocoyo]

:daydreaming: :lovestruck: :thumbup: :^5: :dancing: :bighug:

Hey, when's the ship leaving Capt? Can I bring my teddy bear?

Hehehe!!

Btw that type of person that I am that you quoted there Kez... that makes my mum think I'm obsessional and grip onto themes and ideas... but it's not like that...
My strong interest in things ...it's because I'm that video-store geek... and I don't know how to explain that to her... any ideas?
(This thinking I'm obsessional about things is why she is so unsure about my transness, and I keep trying to explain to her, and help her understand, that I am just the same type of person as my (rl) friends.. they're all as immature and "obsessional" but no-one questions them! ('cos they're male bodied perhaps and that's "normal"?)!

Perhaps she's right though and I'm just a bit... loopy. (She doesn't think I'm loopy, but that's what she makes me feel like when she says that kind of thing! Like I don't know my own mind or something :eek:)!

Sorry! Don't mean to go off topic. I guess it is still a bit related though.
*shuts up*

[kerrianna]

Hehehe!!

Btw that type of person that I am that you quoted there Kez... that makes my mum think I'm obsessional and grip onto themes and ideas... but it's not like that...
My strong interest in things ...it's because I'm that video-store geek... and I don't know how to explain that to her... any ideas?
(This thinking I'm obsessional about things is why she is so unsure about my transness, and I keep trying to explain to her, and help her understand, that I am just the same type of person as my (rl) friends.. they're all as immature and "obsessional" but no-one questions them! ('cos they're male bodied perhaps and that's "normal"?)!

Perhaps she's right though and I'm just a bit... loopy. (She doesn't think I'm loopy, but that's what she makes me feel like when she says that kind of thing! Like I don't know my own mind or something :eek:)!

Sorry! Don't mean to go off topic. I guess it is still a bit related though.
*shuts up*

Haha Das! Poor guy...all the immature people are taking over your thread! hehehe!

I'll have to talk to you privately about that one Pocs. Interesting question.

In the meantime...what's that on your shirt?
*flicks him in face when he looks down and runs away giggling...*

[CaptLex]

My strong interest in things ...it's because I'm that video-store geek... and I don't know how to explain that to her... any ideas? . . .
I am just the same type of person as my (rl) friends.. they're all as immature and "obsessional" but no-one questions them! ('cos they're male bodied perhaps and that's "normal"?)!
But it's not just male-bodied guys that are into that stuff. I know for sure that plenty of trans guys are into that stuff too. So maybe it's more of a guy thing than a trans thing, but who know? :idontknow:

[pocoyo]

But it's not just male-bodied guys that are into that stuff. I know for sure that plenty of trans guys are into that stuff too. So maybe it's more of a guy thing than a trans thing, but who know? :idontknow:

No, yeah... that's what I mean.
Maybe it's a "guy thing".
But because they are male-bodied (the gm friends of mine).. nobody questions it and thinks they are obsessional and get "fixated" on things (like Mum does me) because it's usually seen as more "ok" for guys to have those behaviours.


(Saying that.. there are probably plenty of girls that like that stuff too... but you know... in general it's seen as more of a "guy thing".)

[Felix]

Peter Pan Syndrome, I hold onto that one but unfortunately it's only in my head cos the reality is that I am getting older and time doesn't stop for no man! It was once said about me and more recently that I am serious as a person. Is that the same as mature? Sometimes I think in times of stupidity and jealousness I am immature and I am likened to a child I would say and it has been said that I am just like a man. So maybe that's it because I have that innate maleness I have the immaturity of a boy and yet as a man I still have these tendencies too!
My female side has the maturity and in most things it is this side I rely on to make sense of things which my immature boy side cannot. As I grow these two parts help each other to make sense of the world around me and help me to fit in in part and help others to see difference and become more accepting of it, hopefully. Hope this helps Das xx Felix :RND1: :hugs: