would you change anything ?

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

As ive become to understand alittle more into the c/d, and learnt that alot of the c/d started with most of you @ a young age, my question is :
would you go back, and change anything with it ? would you have wished that youd learnt more about the c/d, and wanted to "understand" yourself better with it ? ive often read posts where its been mentioned that when you first experinced the c/d it was exciting, and thrilling @ the time, then as you got older, it was just second nature to c/d and feel comfortable about what you do !! :rolleyes:
is there a spate of the c/d in your life you wish ud done differantly ?? :straightface:

[jasmine57]

I'll admit the sexual excitement has dwindled when I dress but not the excitement. I wouldn't go as far as to say it's just comfortable.
If I could go back and change anything, it would be finding forums like this much earlier. It so nice knowing that others are going through the same things and to have a release to share them.:love:

[marie354]

If I could go back to my pre-teen days and gain the knowledge that I have now... I don't know. I'm sure that I would have been out & about more than I am now. (Only 2x out the back door drag so far.)

[AmberTG]

If I knew in the 1970s what I know today about CDing and TG issues, I don't think I'd have had the depression problems that I've had all my life. I had really low self esteem from thinking I was some horrible pervert and having to hide that part of me so deeply. I built such a thick wall around myself so noone would find out about me that noone could get in. I'm sure that wall led to the distruction of my first marriage, I just couldn't be the loving person that I should have been, I was so busy hiding from myself that I didn't have time for anyone else, and it got worse as I got older.
So, yes, if I could go back and give myself the information that I have now about myself, I would. It would have made my life easier.

[loricdnj]

I would probably have done a lot of things differently because when i started dressing i had no idea i wasn't alone. Knowing what i know now would have given me different options in making decisions.

[Raychel]

Knowing what I know now, I surely would have told my wife, before she was my wife. I guess I would have changed some other things too. But that is all water over the dam now.

[EricaCD]

Knowing what I now know, I would of course have told Helene at the outset of our relationship.

Everything else is superficial. I would have gotten my ears pierced. I would not have spent two years working out to build up my rail-thin arms and upper body (d'oh!). I probably would have made an honest effort to grow my hair out.

[kenasbarbie]

My crossdressing started when my babysitter began to dress me up in her sister's dresses.

If I'd known how hard it would be to find a woman to share my crossdressing desires with as an adult, I would have tried to keepp in touch with my babysitter to see if we could continue the 'Dress-up' sessions beyond the time we did.

- Toni

[Wendy me]

oh hell yes but as i can't undo the past i try to do what i can to move on and grow from lessons learned in the past.....

[heathr1]

I wish I'd have been honest with my mother when she told me se suspected.

[Daintre]

I guess my wish would have been to tell my now ex wife all about my dressing, at that time I was just dressing in panties. As Wendy says though, there is no going back and what we learn now hopefully will help us in the future.

[Mary Morgan]

There is no question that I would have approached many things differently. I am not at all sure though that those changes would have made me happier, or that I would not still be sitting here second guessing my life. I think I would have been more open about my dressing, less defensive about myself, more accepting of all of our differences, and I suspect, a better partner and parent. I'd like to think so anyway. Repression, fear, and self-loathing cannot be good for one's development. My knowing might have created greater conflict with my parents. A son who wants to be a daughter can be difficult for parents if they don't have, or want to have a real understanding of the issues.

[noname]

Yeah, I wish I would have started earlier. Though looking back to different times in my life, I ask myself, how could I have not known this about myself.

[Holly]

I would have worked much harder in coming to acceptance of myself rather than trying to suppress my transgenderedness for so long. It would have made things so much easier on me and everyone else around me.

[az_azeel]

Hindsight is always a wonderfull thing... I think given what I know now I would be more open as in relataionships....on a lighter note though... I would have kept my long hair......

[DeeInGeorgia]

I do not think I could have done much, other than tell my mother that I lked the male nylon underwear, but preferd it in white.

I was just so shy around women and shy about my body, having been teased so much about it.

Dee

[byrony]

I wish I had not let myself get heavy in the past, since I've been working to lose and keep the weight off for the past two years.

I wish I had come to terms with this sooner, and while I'm not too old to enjoy cding now, I bet I could've had a lot more fun with it when I was younger and a lot more fem.

[TxKimberly]

As ive become to understand alittle more into the c/d, and learnt that alot of the c/d started with most of you @ a young age, my question is :
would you go back, and change anything with it ? would you have wished that youd learnt more about the c/d, and wanted to "understand" yourself better with it ? ive often read posts where its been mentioned that when you first experinced the c/d it was exciting, and thrilling @ the time, then as you got older, it was just second nature to c/d and feel comfortable about what you do !! :rolleyes:
is there a spate of the c/d in your life you wish ud done differantly ?? :straightface:

. . . if I could go back and do it over.
I wouldn't waste years feeling ashamed of myself.
I would have told others in my family a lot sooner.
Kim

[Toyah]

For me I wish I had started earlyer I did not really start dressing till I was in my 40s soo guess I am a bit long in the tooth now

[btmgrl6]

would have started to tranistion a few years earlier. And had I'd known what I know now,would have saved a ton of money on therapy...could have used that money to shop instead:heehee:

[Ronnie]

If I could turn back time....I'll stop that right there.

I probably would have been honest with my mother and told her that I was comfortable the way I was. She sent me to a psycologist when I was around 14 years old. He tried to help me figure myself out. It had worked for a little while but doubt and self loathing creeped back in.

Now some 22 years later I'm being honest with myself and trying to change my life to how I would like it to be and not what anyone one else wants it to be. But now I'm rambling on and I know I can go for many pages.

Yes I would have been honest with my mother and would have started dressing a lot earlier on.

Sorry for my wandering thoughts. I think I have just been excited these last couple of days because I found a place where I can speak like who I feel inside. Thanks again everyone for having me.

Love,
Ronnie
:love:

[Jenny Wilson]

1) I would have dressed a lot earlier and a lot more often. I tried some of mom's things when they were still too big for me. I didn't wear her clothes when they would have fit me perfectly. I would have worn my cousins' clothes when I first became interested in them, around the age of 6 or so.

I wasted a lot of years in my teens and 20s when I was thinnner (and younger) and I should have been dressing. I didn't really begin to dress on a regular basis until I was about 29 or 30.

2) I would have looked for a woman who would have accepted my feminine side. My soon to be ex-wife doesn't know I'm a crossdresser, but I know she thinks crossdressers are sick and she thinks we are all gay. Don't bother trying to confuse her with the fact that 90% of straight.

3) I would have gotten into makeup a lot earlier.

Jenny

[Byllie]

First off, I wish as a kid I had known that CDing existed, as a term. All I knew was straight and gay. So, if you wanted to dress in women's clothing, that meant you were gay, and I'm firmly hetero. To have known about CD would have meant years of release and enjoyment. Then again, I might not have met my wife, and that would be dissapointing.

[susie evans]

i agree with holly i think life would have been much easer and not near as much un needed bagage :hugs:

susie

[Niki 4U2 Nite]

I was dressing in womens lingerie since my teenage years.

Marriage was a wonderful thing... I doubled my wardrobe! Seriously, she was a truly wonderful mate and companion. And I have 2 beautiful children. So, I never really got out dressed til I was 30. Thank goodness. I probably would've killed myself or contracted some awful disease being the **** I waited 10 years to become.
Anyway, my wife realized first, before I did, that it wasn't just about the clothes. I wanted to experience everything about being a girl...and yes, that included being with MEN. I thought the "first kiss" post earlier today so --very real. So no, we could not, in good faith, maintain our marriage.

Now I'm with a man who can make me feel so very much closer to who I am. And I don't feel gay in the least. But, I don't think he understands my CDing and feeling of being a woman any better than then my ex-wife. But at least he's more willing to buy me something pretty when I want it. And I'm more honest than I've ver been.

Kiss and Diss---
Luvya all==Niki :doll:

[Kate Simmons]

Nope, I wouldn't attempt to change anything Angie. I wouldn't be who I am today if I did. I am who I am for a reason.:happy:

[GINA-CD]

of course!
I would have pierced my ears (both of them).
I would have grown my hair (long enough for a nice pony tail)
I would have moved away from my parents' to live by myself and enjoy more time as Gina.
and as many others have said, if I knew 25 years ago what I know today... my life would be different for sure, I can't say better or worse, but it would be different and... who knows, maybe I would have followed a different path in life.

[Victoria Anne]

oh yes, I would have been more honest with myself about who I am and talked to my family early on. I could have enjoyed the more formative years being who I am.

[Lilith Moon]

I've tried to start a response several times and each time I have gotten choked up when thinking about the lost opportunities and the bleak wasted decades that never seem to end...just to keep those around me happy. Sorry to be so negative but that is how I really feel behind the facade.

[nancigirl]

Yes, knowing what i know now, i would have come out to my mom when i was 10 years old (as i wanted to, but was too afraid to do then). I would have asked/begged her to help me become the girl i should always have been.
So my life today would have been totally different. I am thankful for the good things i have had and now have in my life. But if i could go back to age 10 and change things, i would do so in a hearbeat!
Nancy

[Joy3]

I must be honest , when I think of how often I have been ashamed and depressed and how alone I have felt over the years, I wish I was not a CD.

Until I discovered this Forum I had no idea how many CD's there are in this world of ours. It truly helps knowing I am not alone! However my life would have been much better I truly believe if CDing was not such a part of my life since I was 5 or 6 years old.

I hope my comments do not offend as they are not intended to do so!

Joy

[Tina B.]

I grew up in the fifties, there was not much that we knew about such things, and even less understanding from the world at large, so no there is not much that I could have done different. in the sixties i grew my hair long enough to wear a ponytail, and dressed when I could, latter I was early into the internet and found a fourm for Trans people years ago, so I had people to share with, and talk to. Now I dress when I want, so I am very happy with the life I have lead. I gave up the guilt thing years ago, so it's not so bad. Oh, and Joy 3, I am not offended, I know what you mean, life would have been much different for most of us if we where not born TG. But having said that, I except who I am and would not want to be anyone other than me!
Tina B.

[gennee]

I came to CDing only a couple of years ago. Never knew about my transgenderism until then. I wouldn't change a thing because it was the right time for Gennee to blossom.


Gennee


:doll:

[Lissa Stevens]

I wouldn't have hidden my true self all this time. When my parents found out I would have admitted to them and myself what I am. It would have made life harder at that time but easier in the long run.

[Joy3]

I appreciate your comment! I still have negative feelings obviously. My wife is more understanding and accepting than I am. She has stated she wishes I were not a CD but after doing much research, thinking of our conversations and reading "My Husband Betty" etc. she is accepting!

Joy

[linnea]

I wish that my mother had been able to talk with me about it when she first caught me (at age seven) and about her own desires to have a daughter. Those two factors MIGHT have made a difference in my whole approach to crossdressing. I also wish that I could have found this forum much earlier. Of course, it didn't exist way back when I began, not even when I was a young adult. But if I could have found it or something like it much earlier, I would not have felt so alone and I would have had fewer doubts about myself. Like lots of others, I thought for a long time that I was the only person who crossdressed. Of course, it dawned on me eventually that this simply could not be true, but I still didn't know of anyone else so I felt very isolated.

[melissacd]

This is a good question. If I had the confidence that I have now back when I was first starting out on my own I would have spent a period on my own to explore my femme side and really get to know her. I would have only looked for a partner who totally accepted this part of me, I would have built a femme life on the home front right from the start and had lots of enjoyment from this wonderful side of myself. I would have been a big part of the TG community, built many wonderful freindships and being totally honest with myself and those that I love.

I would have done all of this rather than almost 4 decades of denial and self deprecation. I would have taken this path instead of the one where I hid it, denied it and created a very painful situation for a non-accepting spouse.

But...I cannot turn back the clock, I can only start from here and move forward. So going forward I will do my best to accept and love Melissa and I will do my best to grow within the community, build TG friendships, help others and they have helped me, become the best girl that I can within the constraints that I have, be a good father for my children and a good friend to their mother. I will get to know my femme self and make sure that in future relationships that I am open and honest about that part of me.

Thanks for the wonderful question.
Huggs

[Maggie Kay]

Change anything? I have tried to change everything about CD. No effect. This has a life of it's own and there is nothing I can do about it. Might as well ask, "Please stop liking the color blue." Can't be done, I like blue and that is it.

[Casey Morgan]

Hmmm. There are things I wish had been different but I don't know that I would have done things differently. When I was younger (10 or 11) and figured out I wasn't quite like the other boys, I wish I didn't hide the softer side of myself. But if I hadn't I wouldn't have known how much it hurts to hide it for so long. It helped shape what I believe today, and it became a piece of the larger puzzle.

When I figured out at 18 or 20 that I'm between genders, I wish I didn't freak out about it and think I was horribly broken. That just added to all sorts of problems I was already having. But because I didn't know you could be like this, I poked and prodded myself for a long time trying to figure out what sort of a "thing" I was. When I joined this site I understood the basics of who I am, even if I didn't realize it at the time.

Until not all that long ago (a month or two before I joined this site, in fact) I thought men wore women's clothes to have sex with men, and my understanding of Trans issues was that there were people who were women in men's bodies. Neither of those is me, so there wasn't anything to learn about for myself. Once my understanding of crossdressing changed I seriously began to think about learning more. So I figure I did pretty good there.

I wish I didn't wear other people's clothes when I was younger. But other than that I didn't intentionally or unintentionally hurt others by my crossdressing or being transgendered. So while I wish some things were different, for the most part I wouldn't do things differently.

[Kitty Sue]

I want to say yes I would change things. But if I did (as so many other ladies have mentioned) I would not be the man/woman I am becoming. So in all reality I would have to say I would not change a thing. I grow more accepting of me each day. Love ya, KS.

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

ive noticed quite a few comments where some of you have said "if there had been more help/info" when you first started out with the c/d it might have made it easier for you, i would imagin having those feelings, and no-where to really turn, must have been damn hard to deal with !! :rolleyes:

[Bonnie D]

It is a difficult question to answer because me knowing what I know now about myself wouldn’t change the way things were back then in the 60s and so on. I knew exactly what I was although I did feel quite alone about it. I did learn about gays and I thought they would be the only ones to accept me the way I was. I also realized quite young that I was gay or something like that. I really felt that I should have been born a girl and like so many of us, had often dreamed of going to sleep at night and waking up as a girl. Then I could live my life as I was supposed to live it. Instead, I had to live my life as a boy then a man and hide my dreams and true self. So does my true self being interested in men make me gay. That confused me. I still had lots of testosterone running through my body so I did have a great interest in women, physically speaking on one hand and mentally speaking on the other. Another confusing issue.

Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t have gotten married and I would have eventually told everyone the truth about myself and then endeavoured to find a man who could truly be interested in me for who I really was. This doesn’t sound fair to my wife since I’ve only shown her a part of myself and it isn’t fair to her. I shouldn’t say either that I regret getting married and having children because a part of me really did want that. The knowing what I know now would have stopped it though.

Water over the dam or water under the bridge, yes. Everything in your past, good stuff and bad, makes you who you are now. All I know is that being who I am is still very confusing because it involves not only me but those around me too.

Bonnie

[DonnaT]

Many of us realized that we liked to dress after donning something fem for the first time.

For me, it was triggered after coming across an old nightie of my mom's, probably from her teenage years, in a box in the basement and I put it on. I loved the feel, found a blouse and skirt in the box, and put them on. I was hooked.

So, if I could have done anything different, it would have been to not put those things on. Them, hopefully my CDing wouldn't have been triggered.

But, then again, something else may have triggered it if it hadn't been that. I know this because I had seen a girl in my 1st or 2nd grade class a few years earlier dress her brother up, and I wished it were me.

Heck, that may have been the trigger for all I know.

However, since all that did occur, I wish I had let my mom dress me up one halloween when she asked when I was a teenager.

[LoriFlores]

of course!
I would have pierced my ears (both of them).
I would have grown my hair (long enough for a nice pony tail)
I would have moved away from my parents' to live by myself and enjoy more time as Gina.
and as many others have said, if I knew 25 years ago what I know today... my life would be different for sure, I can't say better or worse, but it would be different and... who knows, maybe I would have followed a different path in life.

I agree with everything Gina says. I also wish I could have come out and been full time at the very beginning.

[fun4metoo2004]

I would not change anything regarding my development. I do wish that I had a smaller body, and could look more feminine without surgery.


As ive become to understand alittle more into the c/d, and learnt that alot of the c/d started with most of you @ a young age, my question is :
would you go back, and change anything with it ? would you have wished that youd learnt more about the c/d, and wanted to "understand" yourself better with it ? ive often read posts where its been mentioned that when you first experinced the c/d it was exciting, and thrilling @ the time, then as you got older, it was just second nature to c/d and feel comfortable about what you do !! :rolleyes:
is there a spate of the c/d in your life you wish ud done differantly ?? :straightface:

[hotbobbie]

Not for me but i do agree that at first it was thrilling and now it is just the way it is. I dress and go to work and play and it all feels normal for me.

[vbcdgrl]

I would like to have started fully dressing and going out much earlier in my life, but, had I done so, I might not have had 2 great kids and 2 grandkids. I'm single now, but neither of my Xs would have tolerated my CDing. X #2 is the only one who knows now that I'm a CD, but I didn't tell her until after we were divorced.

Vikki

[Suzie S.]

Angie, I don't think there is much I would change at all, except perhaps more quality information about cding in earlier years. I think it was inevitable that I am a cder and nothing would have changed that path. If better information was available in years past, I might not be struggling with self acceptance and shame as much. I have learned alot about myself in recent years, and things are becoming easier for me. Thanks, in no small part, to this forum and it's wonderful members! :hugs:

[Lovely Rita]

If I could change anything it would be my perception. How I struggled with it for so long only to finally come to love this side of me like never before. I let the perceptions of society and cultures cloud my view for too long.

[MJ]

I would have worked much harder in coming to acceptance of myself rather than trying to suppress my transgenderedness for so long. It would have made things so much easier on me and everyone else around me.

i would have done the same thing