Going out dressed

[kaylagurl]

I have a huge opportunity to go out dressed all day. I have talked several times with a real girl that lives in Memphis and she works at a club and helps with the drag shows. She is really accepting of girls like us and wants me to hang out with her sometime so I can go shopping at Kohls and the mall. I am really excited but nervous and scared at the same time. I think my adams apple stands out too much and the outfit I am going out in really doesn't do much to cover it so hopefully no one will notice but my other real problem is my voice.

I've gone out a few times locally to stores but because I was alone, I never really had to talk. Now that I will be with someone I will need to talk because she will make me actually buy something too. How many of you have gone out dressed and purchased something? Was talking a problem for you? Do people really notice if you are a guy trying to sound like a girl?

[Phoebe Reece]

Kayla,

There's really no need to worry. Just speak softly. If you try to do a falsetto voice it usually doesn't sound natural and will get more funny looks than your normal voice. I go out shopping a lot and always speak with the sales personnel whether I am alone or with someone. I personally feel passing is overrated. If you go out with an attitude of expecting to be "read" and don't care if you are, you will be pleasantly surprised by the number of people that don't read you or simply don't care if you are a CD or not. Having a GG with you will certainly make your experience out more fun.
Enjoy yourself!

[MJ]

well you can get turtle neck tops to hide your Adams apple . and just speak softly and most important of all have fun , just do it

[Tina Dixon]

Good advice given here:thumbsup:

[MsEva]

well you can get turtle neck tops to hide your Adams apple . and just speak softly and most important of all have fun , just do it

Yup..what MJ said...still cool enough to wear cowl necks or turtle necks...wear those or use a pretty scarf tied appropriately. Speak in soft tones or better yet. let your friend talk for you.:2c:

[Holly]

... Do people really notice if you are a guy trying to sound like a girl?Probably, but they seem to be much more interested in the color of my money than the timbre of my voice.

[TxKimberly]

The ladies before me said it all! Speak soft, speak as little as you can, and try to stay CALM. The sales folks you speak to could literally care less IF they make you. All they care about is taking care of you as a customer, making the sale, and getting the commission.
Just last week I did my first serious shopping dressed and shortly after I start speaking the game is probably up. Twice I saw a short pause as it cleared the brain that I was male, and then we went right on to business. 100% of the sales associates I dealt with were VERY helpful and the experience was entirely positive.
Try and stay calm, smile, and enjoy yourself. As our friend Karen Hutton always says, remember that cross dressing is supposed to be fun!
Kim

[Sam-antha]

Kim has it as far as passing is concerned. It is fun.
As far as the voice goes, for me she has it too. Speak quietly, there is no need to speak "up". Just quietly and you will find the girls will listen, probably they will listen somuch that they are too busy listening and understanding to bother. Even if they bother clicking into you, it will not matter to them. Extra info..... most people are the same. They accept what they see, with little hiccups for the voice and thir instinct in terms of your voice.
Just please tell us how it goes. Those of us who do go out have all forgottenwhat it feels like and those who have not yet gone out do not yet know how easy it is,.... once they have gotten started.
Huggzzes and enjoy it
~Samm

[Byllie]

How jealous I am of all of you who can go out shopping en femme. With the beard I have that's not likely going to happen. But, that said, I agree the group concensus ... Do it! Have a great time, and be sure to post the results.

[joaniieann]

Recently, I saw a sale and went into a small women's clothing store. I asked for her plus sizes. After a few minutes of chit chat I found one I really liked and asked her if I could try it on. She said, "of course you can" and pointed to the dressing area. By the way,. it didn't fit, just right.

[kaylagurl]

Thank you all for your input. I do plan on going and really think it will be a lot of fun getting to try on all kinds of things and just be Kayla for the day!! I am really getting to the point to where I don't care if I get read but would really prefer not to be read. I do get called mam on the phone sometimes because I talk to soft according to my wife so I may be able to get away with it.

I will definately let you all know how it goes and take pics!!

[Butterfly Bill]

Don't worry about passing. You don't have to. I know I don't, and I still get away with it. Honesty is the best policy here as well.

[vbcdgrl]

Hi, Kayla. I recently made my first femme outing where I did make purchases. I went to Wal-Mart, picked up several femme items, including 2 tops and a cami. I also picked up some "domestic" supplies. When I went to check out, the female clerk made a comment something to the effect "buying some new outfits for spring, huh? I said something like " Yeah, it's about that time". We exchanged a few more words having to do with the transaction. Apparently, she didn't notice anything unusual about my voice or my presentation. My voice is kind of mid to high range for a guy, and I didn't try to alter it. I just talked softly and slowly.
Later that day, I went to a souvenier shop down by the beach and asked the clerk about some old prints they used to carry. She suggested another shop near there and even took me outside to point it out. Again, no apparent reaction.
Personally, I've found that "passing" in public isn't as difficult as I had imagined. In fact, it's a real kick!

Vikki

[susie evans]

i have made several trips out over the last twenty years just act normal and like you belong and you will be ok the other girls gave good solid advice :hugs: :hugs:

susie

[Dawntv]

I can pass real well. butt you have to be real aware of the voice. It got me outed in a busy place once only because i was turning the guy down!!!

[Lovely Rita]

I have gone out dressed a few times. Shopping is still something to shoot for.

[Karren H]

All the time and I don't go out of my way to generate a fem voice.. I just talk softer... And no one has refused to take my money!! Soooo don't worry about it.. You'll do fine, its all an attitude thing anyway!! Girls come in all shapes and sizes and lots look more masculine than fem but they all have that attitude.. That says they are a female and so they belong there!! Semi-arrogant... Lol

So don't go into a store with your head down, trying to evade eye contact with others!! If you do your doomed!!

Head up, proud, like you own the place... Look everyone in the eyes... Ingage them.. Smile and say Hi!! And no one will question you or even give you a second glance.. Or closer inspection..

Love Karren

[Sherlyn]

Well with my big mouth ... and the doorman ..I always talked softer ..and always thought they clocked me ...til I had to go tell them I was a TG/CD ....blew that 1 ...lol..apparently the softer talking works ... bummer for me lol

[RobertaFermina]

Honey,

Not everyone is keeping score, or preparing boxes for everyone to be stuffed into and You have a human and legal right to venture out into the Commons and pursue happiness !

To the extent you have fun, and are open to sharing a light, or at least polite moment with others, you will bring the gift of your goodwill, a gift very likely to be repaid because most folks are just plain decent.

I don't care one bit about what box people fit into if they make me smile, or think, or just feel OK to be me.

At my best, I say to myself "well here I am out in the open, might as well live like I belong here!"

Sometimes I realize I have that "Theme Park" mentality: Everyone is here to have a good time, or to help others have a good time. Even if there is a spill, or an upset, folks are quick to pitch in and make things good. Since I'm living my "fantasy" the common world becomes my "Theme Park", and the more comfortable I become within it, it slowly becomes a positive, and beautiful "Real World."

Whatever we think of, we attract - THINK FRIENDLY, THINK FUN!

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[kaylagurl]

Well I ventured out with my friend today!! I didn't do too much shopping and look around a lot because we went to a shoe store first and while inside someone hit my wife's car and put a dent in the front near the headlight. I can easily tell her it happened at the apartments but I couldn't get my mind off the fact someone hit my car and drove off and now there is a huge dent in the front.

I did buy a cute purse, pair of shoes, and a matching bra and boy short set. Not exactly all I was hoping for but it was fun minus the car problem.

[kaylagurl]

Here is a pic of what I wore out. I got a few odd looks but it is all just passing glances really so it isn't really a big deal.

[Ashley1]

It is only normal for a girl that looks as good as you to get looked at. Both the guys and other girls always check out the good looking ones so just accept those glances, smile back at the glancer and feel happy that they took the time to check you out!:hugs:
:love:
Ashley

[Margot]

Wear a nice scarf around your neck if you are worried about your Adam's apple. Let your friend talk for you at first until you gain confidence. I guess??
:hugs: :hugs:
Margot

[GINA-CD]

If someone stared at you was because you look beautiful and self-confident. I'd stare at you weather I was in drab or en-femme... especially if I was en-femme and I'd think: "... where the hell did she buy her blouse???!!! She looks beautiful!!"

[rachel_rachel]

This is my male side talking here, I would have looked twice too.... only because you look so good.

[Dana921]

I wish I could be half that good! Just smile and Go have fun!:happy:


Dana