Scarey Baby Steps

[MsEva]

Haven't been on a while as my parents are both very ill and I had to go to the hospital to take care of them. Mom is better but dad isn't fairing well at all. I am afraid for the worst. But that is another story. I have been away from home and dressing for a few weeks and decided I needed to rest today at home. Cleared my schedule and got dressed pretty. Spent the morning on this site. After noon..door bell...EEKS:eek: Turns out to be the UPS man, rings and is off. I thought about the package left and decided to muster the courage to go and retreive it. So..I did, went out on my front porch and got it! Not a big thing for most, but big for me as there were neighbors milling about.

[tifftg]

The first steps are scary as we confront them and upon reflection we wonder what we were concerned about.

Sorry to hear about your parents though. It is a difficult time I am sure.

Hugs,

tiffany

[MsEva]

Thank you Tiffany, it is has been. I guess my old Catholic guilt gets the best of me. I feel sort of bad that I needed to dress, but it soooo helps my anxiety over the events.

[Karren H]

Sorry to hear about your parents, Eva... But glad you got to get pretty.. Next step... The boardwalk down at VA Beach?? Get out the roller blades!! Lol

Karren

[CrossKimmy]

Yeah, I'm in the mode too. I go out the front door, walk around, look around, but when I hear a car, I run for the door. I have taken little drives in femme before. Fabulous stuff.

[MsEva]

Sorry to hear about your parents, Eva... But glad you got to get pretty.. Next step... The boardwalk down at VA Beach?? Get out the roller blades!! Lol

Karren

Yeah right Karren..Can't something about a court order or something! hehe
Maybe I could hook up with Sky down in VA Beach to rollerblade!

[SherriePall]

Eva -- Those wouldn't be baby steps for me. I was home alone and dressed two weeks ago when the door bell rang (it never rings). I peeked out a far away window and saw a FedEx truck. Tempted to answer it, but it was probably 10 degrees outside and I had on an above the knee pencil skirt and pumps. So, I chickened out. Now, if I had jeans on, it might have been a different story. But Karren has a better chance of being dressed with femme jeans than I do at home.
And you know that I'm sorry to hear about your parents. We'll be in touch.
Your sis

[MsEva]

Eva -- Those wouldn't be baby steps for me. I was home alone and dressed two weeks ago when the door bell rang (it never rings). I peeked out a far away window and saw a FedEx truck. Tempted to answer it, but it was probably 10 degrees outside and I had on an above the knee pencil skirt and pumps. So, I chickened out. Now, if I had jeans on, it might have been a different story. But Karren has a better chance of being dressed with femme jeans than I do at home.
And you know that I'm sorry to hear about your parents. We'll be in touch.
Your sis

I know Sherrie, again thank you for your consideration for my parents. I can attest to the low temps! Brrrrr

[suzy]

Hi MsEva,

I am sorry to hear about your parents. It has got to be very hard on you. Dressing may be a good stress reliever so have fun and let your hair down! Baby steps??? Going outside dressed.. that's a huge step in my book....but we are all different and at different stages.... I'm certainly not ready to be seen out anywhere.....yet....especially by people that I know...:eek:

But Good for you....now onward for the next milestone!!!:hugs:

[MsEva]

Thanks Suzy,
I do go out on my deck from time to time when it looks safe. Never out the front door before. EEKS what was I thinking?:eek:

It has been really stressful over the past few weeks. Today helped quite a bit.

[JoAnnDallas]

I remember my very first time out in the daylight. It was back in 2005 and I was staying at my sister's house. I was all dressed up with a knee length dress, 2" heels, makeup, nail polish, wig, and jewlery. She lives on a cornor, so I decided to walk out thru the back gate, down the driveway to the side walk, up the side walk to the corner, turned the corner, up the other sidewalk to the walk way leading to the front door. Just as I turned and started walking up the walkway to the front door, a car came down the street, passed behind me and kept going. Then it was up to the front door and into the house. The whole time my heart was racing, my breathing was rapid, and I was shaking a little. When I got back into the house, it then dawned on me not only did I do it, but a car came by and the driver didn't honk or anything. The next day I did it again. This time it was much easier. Two weeks later, I was driving around the neighborhood dressed and a month later, I was fillup the SUV dressed, and stopping and getting a newspaper from a self-serve stand dressed. It has been upward and onward ever since then.

[TerriM]

I started going out dressed in 1977. Before that the only living thing that knew I dressed was my dog and he used to look at me funny. My first time out was to a CD party I had found out about. I was very scared. But I did it and am glad I did.
Yours Terri

[MsEva]

I guess what I meant to say is that it was the first time out the front of the house. I have gone for drives during the day or evening, dressing in stages and I even drove all the way to Pennsylvania en femme a few years ago. But this is my neighborhood and it is a bit scarey for me...guess I am a bit of a baby.:D

[MsEva]

I started going out dressed in 1977. Before that the only living thing that knew I dressed was my dog and he used to look at me funny. My first time out was to a CD party I had found out about. I was very scared. But I did it and am glad I did.
Yours Terri

:happy: Pretty funny, my dog sort of ignores me when I am dressed...guess he knows I won't take him for a walk like that.:heehee:

[pedebra]

I don't know Eva. Those are not baby steps in your own neighborhood. I live on a cul de sac; my next door neighbor has an in home office and you can see my front porch from his window. There is no way that I would even go the two steps to my mail box during daylight hours.
Debra

[MsEva]

I don't know Eva. Those are not baby steps in your own neighborhood. I live on a cul de sac; my next door neighbor has an in home office and you can see my front porch from his window. There is no way that I would even go the two steps to my mail box during daylight hours.
Debra

GULP! Not sure if I was thinking too well.:o

[Bev06 GG]

Hi Eva,
Its good that you have had a full day to dress and converse with your friends on here. In doing so you probably de-stress and cope with whats happening with your parents easier. However, I have to say beware. If your dads as ill as you have said you might just regret not spending more time with him if something awful happens. Take it from one who lost her dad two years ago and her mum two weeks ago.
Your Catholic guilt just might turn to depression if the worst happens to either your mum or dad, and you were at home dressing and talking to your friends on here.
You have your whole life ahead of you to dress, but you just might not have too much longer left if your Dad is really that poorly. I would hate you to have regrets as well as grief should the worst happen. Both of my sisters and myself spent hours with mum and dad in their final weeks. My brother however, really couldn't be bothered. He said he hadn't realised that they were on deaths door, but he did because we'd told him. It might be a daughter thing I dont know, but my brother only just made it to the hospital on both occassions. His excuse was he was watching his favourite programmes on the TV that he'd taped the night before, and he wanted a bath and there was no hot water. Took him four hours to have a bath and get to the hospital which is just up the road from him. He is full of remorse now and has got to live with that for the rest of his life.
Love Bev

[MsEva]

Hi Eva,
Its good that you have had a full day to dress and converse with your friends on here. In doing so you probably de-stress and cope with whats happening with your parents easier. However, I have to say beware. If your dads as ill as you have said you might just regret not spending more time with him if something awful happens. Take it from one who lost her dad two years ago and her mum two weeks ago.
Your Catholic guilt just might turn to depression if the worst happens to either your mum or dad, and you were at home dressing and talking to your friends on here.
You have your whole life ahead of you to dress, but you just might not have too much longer left if your Dad is really that poorly. I would hate you to have regrets as well as grief should the worst happen. Both of my sisters and myself spent hours with mum and dad in their final weeks. My brother however, really couldn't be bothered. He said he hadn't realised that they were on deaths door, but he did because we'd told him. It might be a daughter thing I dont know, but my brother only just made it to the hospital on both occassions. His excuse was he was watching his favourite programmes on the TV that he'd taped the night before, and he wanted a bath and there was no hot water. Took him four hours to have a bath and get to the hospital which is just up the road from him. He is full of remorse now and has got to live with that for the rest of his life.
Love Bev

Well said Bev, and thank you for your candor. Actually I spent the past two and a half weeks in the hospital with him and my mother...they both went down with the flu at the same time. They live about 400 miles away from me, just returned home this weekend. Both were in hospice for COPD to begin with. I spent 14 - 16 hours with him daily and I wouldn't have missed it even though the sight of my dad in that condition was just terrible. I came home after he was discharged from the in hospital hospice unit and was stable at home for the time being. I had to come back to attend to some work duties but I assume I will be heading back soon. I guess I just needed a little me time today so that I can be ready for any eventuality.

Eva

[Eva Diva]

Hi Eva - I'm Eva too! :hugs:


I lost my dad 16 years ago, and I take care of my mom now. she's doing pretty well, but she had a very bad spell over the summer, and I really had to think hard about losing her. She bounced right back, but when she goes, that's the end of my family, so I know some of how you feel. It's great that you could return to the "normalcy" of dressing - your parents wouldn't want you living in total stress. Enjoy it as much as you can - you obviously are doing the right thing by your parents. So many people never get so much as a phone call from their kids. Good luck.

[MsEva]

Hi Eva - I'm Eva too! :hugs:


I lost my dad 16 years ago, and I take care of my mom now. she's doing pretty well, but she had a very bad spell over the summer, and I really had to think hard about losing her. She bounced right back, but when she goes, that's the end of my family, so I know some of how you feel. It's great that you could return to the "normalcy" of dressing - your parents wouldn't want you living in total stress. Enjoy it as much as you can - you obviously are doing the right thing by your parents. So many people never get so much as a phone call from their kids. Good luck.

Thank you Eva,
I know the next few months are going to be very rough with a lot of miles on my car. I know they would do the same for me. Sorry to hear about your loss of your father and your mom's condition. God be with you and your family.

[GinaVegas]

Good for you Eva!

[MsEva]

Thanks Gina. I am in constant contact with my niece who is the primary care provider and am able to leave should there be a dramatic change in either one's conditions. My work has been wonderful telling me they have it all covered...I am truly lukcy.

[EricaCD]

Hi Eva - first and foremost, I am sorry to hear about your parents. My thoughts are with you.

I really don't think you should be feeling bad about taking a little time for yourself to relax. Nobody would ever think the worse of you if you had gone to a movie, or decided to spend a few hours watching tv. So what if your way of relaxing is to spend some time en femme?

That said, it's actually quite brave to step outside in broad daylight in your own neighborhood! I have only done that once or twice (it has been a long time) - and then only after being quite sure that the immediate neighbors weren't looking. For me, it just feels much less risky to step out from a different address...

Anyway, I hope things go ok with your parents. Hang in there!

Erica

[MsEva]

My father passed away in his sleep this morning. I am so thankful for the time I spent with him. His suffering is over. He died the way he wanted to...at home with his wife nearby and a loving family at his side.

He and my mom were married for sixty nine years. They had a very good life together. We always used to kid dad about putting up with a very talkative wife to which he always laughed with us. Over the past few months he always defended her in our friendly kidding saying ...aw she isn't so bad. I will really miss him, but I have a certain peace about the whole thing. I cried a bit this morning, but my serious crying took place right next to him in the hopital hospice unit. Life is precious. We need to embrace our loved ones as much as we can while they are still with us. I will carry the memories of my dad with me for all my life. I am blessed to have a wonderful family, loving wife and daughter. God is very good.

Eva

[mylitta]

I am very sorry for your loss.

[MsEva]

Thank you Mylitta.

[dancinginthedark]

Eva~
I am so sorry to hear about the death of your father this morning. :hugs:

That's amazing that your folks were together 69 years, and from the sounds of it still very much in love. What a wonderful legacy. I think you're right, you have been and are blessed.God be with you and yours.

dancin

[MsEva]

Thank you for your kind words of condolence. Seems strange that I sit here with the news of my father's passing, but couldn't manage to concentrate on my work today. As I said I have a strange peace abou his passing and his end to suffering. I am blessed.

[dancinginthedark]

Thank you for your kind words of condolence. Seems strange that I sit here with the news of my father's passing, but couldn't manage to concentrate on my work today. As I said I have a strange peace abou his passing and his end to suffering. I am blessed.

I don't find it strange that you are here. I did the same when I lost my brother in January. I couldn't concentrate on much but here I could... I dunno find solace of a sorts by being with my extended family. And knowing your Dad is not hurting/in pain would be a relief and a comfort. No one wants to lose a family member or a friend to death but to watch as they suffer...that's hard to do. :( Please stay in touch in the days and weeks ahead and don't be afraid to lean on your family here on those days when it hurts too much or it is hard.

dancin

[MsEva]

Your post was so sincere and heartfelt it brought tears. All I can say is that I am so obliged to you for your kindest of words. I need to be by the phone today as arrangements are made so this is a bit of a distraction that certainly eases some of my sorrow. What a truly kind person you are Dancin, we are a blessed to have such a good hearted person here.:hugs:

[marie354]

It is always a sad time when someone near to you passes on. I remember when on of my best friends died... My Dad. It was a bit rough at first, but when I realized that he was in a much better place... Well, I still think of him and speak to him at times.

[MsEva]

God bless Marie, thank you for your kind words.:hugs:

[Emily Ann Brown]

Eva hun,

My prayers will remember you and your family this week. I have now lost both parents and know all those emotions you will be feeling all too well.


Emily Ann

[MsEva]

Eva hun,

My prayers will remember you and your family this week. I have now lost both parents and know all those emotions you will be feeling all too well.


Emily Ann

Hi Emily Ann, thank you sister. You were one of the first girls I replied to when I joined. Sorry for you losses. It is always good to see you back in the forum.:hugs:

[Siobhan Marie]

Eva, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.

:hugs: Anna Marie x

[MsEva]

Eva, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.

:hugs: Anna Marie x

Thank you Anna Marie. I appreciate the words of condolence.:hugs:

[Lovely Rita]

Eva, sorry to hear about your parents.


On the UPS thing, I know the feeling. I did and was spotted by a neighbor. I was on our treadmil in leotard and tights, the kind woman wore in the old days at Jack La Lanes, when the door bell rang. I waited for the UPS guy to leave and then I opened the door with a neighbor looking right at me.

oh well

[Tina B.]

Sorry about your dad, hope you only remember the good times you had with him!
Tina B.

[MsEva]

Sorry about your dad, hope you only remember the good times you had with him!
Tina B.

Thank you Tina,
The viewing was Friday. I just can't believe the turnout. I was so moved by the people that attended. They came from as far away as Florida to be there. The mass and funeral were on Saturday in the same churc where I was married. At the chapel a VFW honor guard presented an American flag to my mom and played taps. My kid brother did the eulogy and was wonderful. It was a celebration of my Dad's life and I am thankful to all who attended, gave respects, and to you here who have offered such words of comfort. God bless all.