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View Full Version : Joined a support group!!!



Chrissycd
02-13-2005, 10:38 AM
Last night, I got dressed (nothing over the top) and went to a local meeting place for a group that I needed to interview to join. I was a half hour late, which is unforgiveable I know, but was sooooo happy I went.
Turns out that, unbeknownest to me, there was a monthly meeting scheduled, and my late arrival meant I arrived during the meeting instead of beforehand. The girls were meeting downstairs though, so I asked for my contact when I came in, and a girl went down to get her for me. Turns out, she was the board president.
Normally, they don't allow walkins to join the meetings right off, but I was en femme, and so she just said what the hell and invited me down.
OMG!!! What a wonderful sight to see thirty girls just like me, all dressed, all enjoying the proceedings and having a look to see who the new girl is.
After about 15 minutes, another girl came over and asked me to go back upstairs for my interview. We talked for an hour and a half!!!
I filled out the application and committed to joining then and there. It's about 50/50 ts/cd, they have a traveling choir, they have movie night in once a week, they have a regular meeting once a month, and they have various nights out for dinner or what have you, too.
I have found a home!
Everyone was super sweet to me.
Hurray!
Now, here's the question: How many of you girls attend such functions? What are yours like, if you do?
:D
Chrissy

Tristen Cox
02-13-2005, 12:55 PM
Hi Chrissy. Wonderful news I am very happy for you:) Myself there's not much going on here where I am so again I need to relocate badly if I ever am going to find some support other than this forum(or my other online groups). But things change don't they. Hope that you get what you want most from this new group, and keep us posted on how things go. *hugs*



Love
Tristen

Nina
02-13-2005, 01:23 PM
That really sounds great. I wish i could find such a place to go but all I have is a TG support group meeting that is on once a month and that's the amount of times i've been or want to go ONCE. i didn't fit in at all.
Most were nice but i had very little in common with any of them. At the end of the night i felt more alone than before i went.
I;m glad tou've conected though and i hope things just keep getting better and better for you :)

Katiegirl
02-13-2005, 03:52 PM
Having started to go to TG groups in December I know what a high you got out of your meeting

The Groups I go to meet once a month and vary from about 50 in one and about 15 in the other. I does surprise me just how many CDs there are out there and one group call the Mayflower as a number of well attended meets all over the south of England with a monthly Disco in Southampton.

Nina have you tried this site

http://www.transgenderzone.com/venueguide/UKSW.htm

Enjoy your future meets Chrissycd

:)

Mind of a Woman, Body of a Man, Life is a Bitch

Sara Violet
02-14-2005, 01:06 AM
So glad for you :) . I have been thinking about finding a group in my area. I think I want to talk to a shrink and start transitioning first though.

Chrissycd
02-14-2005, 11:14 PM
and my therapist recommended this group because it includes both cd's and ts's. I know that I will benefit incredibly from the girls there, and hopefully I can add to it myself in some ways. I won't begin transitioning until early this summer, but it will be soooooooooo nice to have so many girls both here and there that I can count on for advice and support. Go for it!
Chrissy

Chrissycd
05-15-2005, 12:08 PM
:) :) :) The planets finally aligned again last night, and I was able to go to another meeting. It was exactly what I've needed and I'm so happy I went!
We spent about an hour socializing and then had a short meeting that included an interesting film that addressed the public bathroom usage issue many of us face. Basically, it said that the laws vary by state, but several disallow discrimination of girls like us.
I must say that it wasn't so much the proceedings that made me feel so good, but the girls in attendance. Everyone was very sweet. Pretty much everyone there last night identified as tg/ts. I felt very comfortable as I looked around to see how wonderful so many of the girls carried themselves. I hope to tap them for all kinds of advice. One of the girls announced that she is coming out to her boss at work on Monday.
This is an old thread, but I still want to hear what kinds of experiences you all are having with such groups. All I can say is that I am SOOOOOOOOO glad I found this little piece of heaven. It gives my spirit a huge lift!
Chrissy

MarieTS
05-15-2005, 09:43 PM
Chrissy-- thank you for discussing your experiences. I'm contemplating joining a group that is close by, but, well-- I'm just paranoid I will collide with someone I know.
If I get up the courage, how should I present myself when meeting with them-- the way I think and feel when I'm alone???... very enfemme.
Or... more business/guy-like ?

Thanks!

obsessedwithpantyhose
05-15-2005, 11:06 PM
if i was rich i could join the 'tri-es chapter here in Phoenix,, they want a lot of money to become a member and to stay with them..

Chrissycd
05-19-2005, 05:34 PM
main groups available to join. Triess, which is strictly for cd's, and CLCC, which is made up of cd/tg/ts girls. I understand that here the membership for both is about $45 annually.
When I attend, my femme side comes out and it's so natural that I don't have to "try" to be Chrissy. I AM Chrissy. I know we are all in different places though, so my only suggestion is just to allow yourself to be you, and if you don't feel comfortable with the other girls, then, you're better off finding another one or, come out to some close gg friends and go out with them. I do both and enjoy both very much.
Chrissy

Stlalice
05-24-2005, 09:22 AM
MarieTG,

Meeting someone you know while dressed is a fear that haunts many in our community. But if you look at it logically it is barely a speed bump rather than a mountain. First off, most groups that I've run across have a policy that in effect states "what you see and who you see here, what you hear here, let it stay here". Meeting someone you know in these circumstances means they have just as much to lose as you. And if you both follow the rules neither of you has anything to worry about. It could even be the begining of a really good friendship.

Out in public though is another matter - something that someone who is in transistion like myself always has to keep in mind. But, if you are in a club or resturant that caters to the LGBT community or a place like an MCC church service the rule stated above still applies. Even if it is unwritten. Out shooping at the local mall or supermarket - I rely on the fact that my appearance and demeanor are so radically different that even a closr friend or co-worker would have a very hard time making the connection. The rule here is if you see someone you know - just keep on walking and don't call attention to yourself. It also helps if you are dressed to blend in with the crowd rather than standing out. Depending on the situation make a quiet exit and if they say something later use humor to deflect the issue. Something like "Really - maybe I have a sister I don't know about." Or, "What were you smoking/drinking at the time and can I have some?"

In over three years of being an out trans sexual in everything but employment I've yet to have a problem. Gather up your courage girl and go for it - the rewards are great and the risk really very minor. :D

MarieTS
05-25-2005, 02:29 AM
Dear Alice, thank you so VERY much for your perspective. Coming from a woman of your experience it carries a lot of weight.

I think you are exactly right. Now its a matter of pushing myself out of the nest. I also look forward to transitioning, and I know that I've got to overcome this fear before I can even consider going down that road. Although I've done some driving, I haven't really done much else in public.

I figured my best bet was a TG friendly bar. But the more I thought about it the more I wanted to avoid any confusion with the "hook-up" scene. That's when I decided the support group/club would the best direction, as I can probably tie into a support network there. Now I have another thought. This may sound real silly to some people, but I'm considering the possibility of going to my church service, but arriving late and just sitting in the back alone where I'll pray to the lord to protect this girl that he made. I'll depart church early before everyone turns to leave. Within a week after that hopefully I'll ready to join the support group. Or am I just a pracrastinating coward?

In any event, your recommendations were very much appreciated will be followed.
I am very greatful for your empathy,

Joan of Art
05-25-2005, 05:57 AM
Thank you sisters for just sharing your experience, strength and hope. I live in the Los Angeles area and I've been looking for a support group here. I am very new to my new self ( you could say I became aware on 2/17/05). I had a chance to speak to a couple of other "girls" at a shop in Studio City and it was so nice to hear about how things have been for them and to share my own feelings with them. We were just three girls talking about our lives. It was great. I too have considered going to a CD/TS friendly bar, but I changed my mind, because I didn't want to give the wrong impression; although, maybe if the time were right, but that's another story for another time.....right now, I just want to connect a little....I need to have patience and let everything unfold as it will.......It was just nice to know I'm not alone and I wanted to just say "hi" and thanks for just being there.
God Bless,
Joan

Stlalice
05-25-2005, 08:55 AM
Marie,

If you wish to go to a church service in the LA area where I KNOW that you will be both safe and welcome may I recomend MCC North Hollywood ? The head Pastor there is a friend of mine from back here and he will help you if it is possible. When you go to the service, go up to Rev. Bob Goss and shake his hand - and tell him that Alice in St. Louis sent you and sends her greetings. The web address for the church is www.mccvalley.org and you could phone or e-mail them if you like for info. Contact info is below.



818-762-1133, MCC in the Valley, 5730 Cahuenga Blvd, North Hollywood, CA 91601.

Stlalice
05-25-2005, 10:30 PM
Joan and Marie,

I wish you both the best in your individual journeys - feel free to PM if you wish. The hardest thing to do is taking those first steps out when you are scared and alone - been there - done that. Good luck to both of you and hang in there,

Peace,