Cultural Gender Differences?

[Dasein9]

Or just an unusual family?

Yesterday, on the subway, I saw a beautiful family. Mother, 7 year-old girl, 4 year-old boy, and an infant carried on Mom's chest. The mother and the girl were speaking quietly while the 4 year old boy stroked the infant's hand and cuddled him.

Now, this struck me as unusual, though quite pleasant, and I realised that I've rarely seen boys that old expressing tenderness and affection in public. Also, in my experience, boys tend to demand more of their mothers' attention and don't usually stand for her talking to a sister for very long without including them.

Then the mother began speaking to both the children, and raised her voice just enough that I could hear her. She and the kids had a British accent.

That got me wondering whether this is a cultural difference, or whether it was just a particularly lovely family.

(I did make a point of telling the mother what well-behaved children she had as I left the train. She made sure they heard me, so they could be pleased at being complimented by a stranger.)

[pocoyo]

Hehe it's funny, 'cos when I read that I was thinking "Hmm that doesn't really strike me as that unusual...I have seen loving little boys like that.. out and about and in my family...." (haha and I am one!)
Then I saw "They had British accents". I guess there might be your answer.. yeah.. slight cultural differences.

(Like we've noticed about other stuff before...
2 that spring to my mind are: Some boys here do admit to being sensitive.
And
Men do sometimes refer to their p*nis as names like "little fella" etc etc...
but when talking about those things, some non-british people seemed shocked even disbelieving at those things lol.)

[Kieron Andrew]

Hehe it's funny, 'cos when I read that I was thinking "Hmm that doesn't really strike me as that unusual...I have seen loving little boys like that.. out and about and in my family...." (haha and I am one!)
Then I saw "They had British accents". I guess there might be your answer.. yeah.. slight cultural differences.

(Like we've noticed about other stuff before...
2 that spring to my mind are: Some boys here do admit to being sensitive.
And
Men do sometimes refer to their p*nis as names like "little fella" etc etc...
but when talking about those things, some non-british people seemed shocked even disbelieving at those things lol.)
im with Poc...its a cultural thing to a point....although i have seen it in american families too but not as much

[pocoyo]

Yeah maybe it's not like differences in different countries as such.. maybe just different parts of different countries are different.

I don't think little boys would be like that in every part of Britain for example, but definitely are in some. So maybe it's just the same everywhere (er.. in that it's different everywhere.. ah.. u know what I mean!)

Perhaps it's just... different types of people.... different types of families etc...

Urgh not making sense anymore... *blinks then wanders off to have a drink or a shower or something.*

[Dasein9]

If I understand correctly, y'all are saying that such behaviour isn't as unusual over there as it is here, but we must all be carefull not to make overgeneralisations about these things, since there are lots of different factors that would contribute to behavioural differences.

That about it?

[pocoyo]

If I understand correctly, y'all are saying that such behaviour isn't as unusual over there as it is here, but we must all be carefull not to make overgeneralisations about these things, since there are lots of different factors that would contribute to behavioural differences.

That about it?

Yes :D

[Kieron Andrew]

Yes :D
<<<what he said

[Felix]

I think it may be upbringing as well as culture.If the family are an affectionate close knit family then it is probably quite normal for both boy and girl to be affectionate toward each other. I don't think it's just an English thing either I'm sure this can be seen in other cultures too but again it will depend on upbringing xx Felix :hugs:

[Dasein9]

Darn, I want to keep talking but must commute now. Will check back later, 'kay?

[bi_weird]

Yeah I don't know where the cut off is, but there's definitley a line where my brothers and I stopped showing affection. We have a picture of my oldest brother holding me when I was an infant (we're three and a half years apart) and he's really sweet looking. But by the time I have memories of it, there was no overt shows of affection. Even now, when we should be old enough to show grown up emotions, we don't do it. When I broke up with my last boyfriend he messaged me on facebook something like "I hear things have changed for you recently. You know where to find me." That was the whole message...

[Abraxas]

My brother's always been really affectionate (well. He hid it really well when we were kids, haha!). He's really good with little kids and stuff, but he does have a low tolerance for annoyance-- like kids misbehaving, etc. I'm a little more willing to deal with it because, well, I know how to get them to behave themselves most of the time. Apart from this one little horrible 11-year-old monster who visited from Germany. He was being really cruel to my cousins (who were much younger, like 5 and 6), hitting and kicking them, holding pillows over their faces. I yelled at him (in very broken German) and he kicked me. So I grabbed him roughly by the arm and dragged him off to his parents, who were of no help whatsoever. Which, I think, proves that a lot of it has to do with upbringing.
But yes. Anyway. Most of my family is Iranian, and they're very affectionate by nature. It's more of a communal upbringing, where everyone watches (or ignores) everyone else's kids. My little boy cousin, who's five (but a very young five, and I'm beginning to think he might have some form of autism) is extremely affectionate. He was really sweet when he met my nephew who's 2 months old. Petting his hair and everything.

[John]

My stepsister lives in america with three young children. I havn't seen them since the last one was born, but when she came over with her son (about 5) and daughter (2) the boy was verry afectionate to his younger sister. Once when there mother left them being looked after by me and my mother he praticaly looked after her himslef (to the best of the abilities of a five year old). However, my stepsister is english, raised by british pairents and spent half her childhood in enlgand (and she alwyas seems to bemuse american pairents).

I uest to babysit for two brothers, and the eldest one their was very cairing twards the younger one, liked to hug him and play with him, and help his mother looking after him (bit of a brat when I had to put him to bed though...)



(Like we've noticed about other stuff before...
2 that spring to my mind are: Some boys here do admit to being sensitive.
And
Men do sometimes refer to their p*nis as names like "little fella" etc etc...
but when talking about those things, some non-british people seemed shocked even disbelieving at those things lol.)

And pantomimes. No bugger outside britan knows what the hell a pantomime is. Half of them think we're lying when we explaing (rambles off topick)

[Evert]

And pantomimes. No bugger outside britan knows what the hell a pantomime is. Half of them think we're lying when we explaing (rambles off topick)


That are those people who pretend to be in a box, right? :heehee:
Or not..?

[John]

Mime artist is what you're thinking of there.

[Evert]

Mime artist is what you're thinking of there.

ah, well tell me what pantomime is then! :heehee:

[Samantha Lough]

Yeah I am in back woods Idaho and well my son and his Half sister are not that way at all, When he was born she tried to throw him away, also told his mom and me that we needed to take him back to the store she did not want a little brother. (she is 2 1/2 years older ) they have anouther half brother ( same mom different dads ) and neither older sister or my boy have anything to do the kid except pound on him. And growing up ( i am from a huge family 1 real brother and 8 step) and me being the youngest we always fought no real affection from any of us, well unless you were a outsider and then we would gang up on you. But in restuarnts and such we are always well behaved even to this day 25 years later

[Dasein9]

Oh, yes. Restaurants. We were taken to the Officers' Club on the Navy Base.
Failure to behave resulted in -- well, I don't know. It was so dire we didn't ever, ever risk it!

[bi_weird]

Oh goodness we're TERRIBLE in resturants! See, Dad's often the fifth kid, so it's Mom versus five. We play paper football, throw things, tease each other, all sorts of inappropriate behavior. But as soon as the food comes we're behaved - that's serious business afterall.