How on earth can I tell my siblings?

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

As some of you know I'm still living at home with the 'rents and with my younger (ages 15 and 20, respectively) siblings. They have known me as 'big brother' all their lives (though I still can't imagine my sister not wondering where all her dance costumes disappeared to...) and I can't imagine what it would be like if they found out I liked to dress like a big sister, too.

I'm really planning on taking the next step and going public - that is going public en femme - not telling everyone I cross-dress - but in order to do so I will need to get in and out of the house, which would probably entail being seen by them, unless I plan on going to Perkins at 4 a.m. for the rest of my stay here. They have already found my clothes (mom said they were my fiance's) while looking for DVDs, so it's not like they haven't found clues, but I can't seem to bring myself to even get out there to tell them. What do I do?

Do you girls have any suggestions? I really need them.

[Angie G]

Try talking around it and see what they think of crossdressing if they seen ok with the idea the tell them :hugs:
Angie

[Emma England]

Maybe ask whether they would have preferred a big sister rather than a big brother.

If the response is yes, then you could mention that you could dress up like one (just for one day to see their reaction).

[Sedona]

Depends,

My hunch is that they already know. And, are your siblings/parents accepting generally? If so, go ahead and tell them.

But, will you be living at home forever? Perhaps you'll have your own place someday, then you can dress to your heart's content. If so, unless you have a burning desire to, why tell them at all? All throughout my teen years, and with college roomies, I kept my CDing activities to myself. When I moved out on my own, I did things more my way.

Best,

[Lovely Rita]

I wish you the best. It is not easy. I hear the mission impossible music already.

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Thanks for the advice so far, ladies. I think talking around the idea of cross-dressing would be too hard for me, Angie. I'm not a talk-around-the-issue type of girl, nor am I really that good at it to begin with. I think I'd rather just ask them "well, what would you say if you found out I was a cross-dresser - hypothetically?" but that would still probably be too hard for me.

As far as if they'd want a big sister, Emma, I don't know how that'd fly. They'd probably look at me like 'ok, what the heck are you saying...?' and think I'm even wierder. But it's an idea though...

Sedona, I really hope they already know, then it wouldn't be so hard for me to say it. I don't know if they'd be accepting - tolerant maybe, kinda like my parents. I don't know if I'd say that my parent's accept my cross-dressing but they don't have any problems with it "as long as you don't parade around the house in a dress," my mom has said to me.
As far as getting my own place, that day is at least 4-6 months off, if not a year. I don't think I'll be able to really do anything until October and I really want to be able to go out before them. I've been keeping this under wraps for over 15 years and I am about ready to burst at the seams - the inner woman in me needs to get out! But you're right... maybe they don't need to know. I'll get to dress to my heart's content in time.

And Rita, thanks for the support. I'm starting to feel like a secret agent with all of this lately, stalking around the house enfemme, covering up with a hoody and pajama pants. I think I've heard the Mission Impossible music for a while now - I was wondering where that was coming from... thought my ears were ringing...

Thanks ladies! As I said, I'll take all the help I can get!

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

I talked about it with my mother about telling my siblings and she's not too keen on the idea, so I probaly won't bring it up. I asked my brother what he thought about finding women's clothes in my room and he said that he thought they were my fiance's even before my mom told him, so that kind of botched my brining it up. I just said "well, I just wanted to check so you didn't think I was some wierdo, or somehting." Dang, I feel like a hypocrite! Ah, well - I'll be out of here in less than a year hopefully, so I won't need to tell my siblings unless something else comes up. Thanks for the feedback, girls!

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Well, I almost had my chance to tell my sister about my little hobby this week. I recently moved her old furniture - a cute desk that I had to repair all manly like (power tools...oooooooo!) and a hot lil' make-up table - into my room when she was vacationing in the Grand Canyon with her SO. She came back and saw all her old furniture in there and apparently became 'concerned about me' as my mother put it. I told her it was for more workspace (which was true - I need to work on my make-up) and she didn't ask any more questions. I really wish she did though, I think she'd understand...

Yet, based on the way she reacted to the presence of the furniture, she'd probably flip on finding out that I cross-dress. Oh well, I almost got it out there...at least to her. Maybe I should paint my room pink, get silk sheets, put up curtains, and put a sign on my door that says 'Princess' Chambers'; maybe the sib's would get a clue then. I think the 'rents would have some objections though. At least it would be a good conversation starter.
"Nathan, why's your room all girly? Are you gay or something?"
"Gay? Nope. I'm just a cross-dresser..."
Now that'd be something.

[Lisa Thorne]

It's always tough. I told my wife ans it was hard but felt like a weight off my shoulders. I am the yougest of 6 kids and would have told my family already if all my siblings were sisters. But I have 2 brothers also. I guess if they love you they will understand.

[danielle_from_cal]

What I did is tell the sister I am closest to. (I have three sisters). I was talking to her on the phone and told her that I had to tell her something. Then, after she asked "What is it", I just told her. She was completely accepting. About a year later I told my mother. She was accepting too. By 2015, I will have told my whole family! (I have three sisters and three brothers. It might take a bit longer to mention this to my brothers.)

Anyway, it was not as hard as I thought. And is is SUCH a relief to have family to share my life with! Pick a sister and do it.

[SissyJackie]

I never had to tell my sister. I moved out as a teenager and started my serious crossdressing after my military service. I think as hard as it is to tell someone it is even harder to not tell in the long run. If they love you they will be understanding and eventually be closer.

[Tina B.]

They may love you, but that does not mean they will understand, or except.
any time you tell someone you must be ready to except the unknown, and it can go either way. And once it is out, you can never put it back the way it was. you know your family, and you know how your mother feels about you sharing your secret. Think about it long and hard before you do it, and remember once you are out on your own, they may never need to know. So you have to figure out just how important it is to you to take that risk, and tell them, because only you will have to live with the out come.
mariages, and family have been broken up by this secret, people that are not as close sometimes deal with it better than those that are the closes to us.
Tina B.