Jealousy & c/d

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

Speaking from the SO's point of view , ive realised that iam actualy jealous of the c/d :( again ive reacted badly to something, that was made quite innocent remark with the c/d by my SO. for me its thats "part" of him that i havent quite got ( as in the c/d ). & even though theres been boundries set up with it, i always seem to have a "niggle" about it . im also quite scarred of it as well. just when i think i understand the c/d, nope my head gets a niggle inside it, and then thats it !! :o
From the c/d point of view i understand its very hard to try & find that "fine line" between the c/d & the SO. grrrrrrrrrrrh i hate this when i feel this jealousy :mad:
I wondered if or what questions youd ask a GG about your c/d, ( or your SO ) !! is there one BIG question you want to ask, but afraid of the reaction or comment youd get +? +?

[Joy Carter]

I'm ashamed to even bring it up. But my lovely spouse has always had doubts about her self image. She's a big girl and has tried for years to slim down, but always ends up with more than when she started. So I'm not going to ask her, but I wonder if she really would think I look better than she when dressed. Other than for her beliefs about male and female and her objection about dressing. I wonder if some where in the recesses of her mind this is bothering her.

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

Wow you have hit the nail-on-the-head there !! :eek: thats alot of it with me hun. im quite big, and when my SO dresses ( he wears a size 12 ), it does tend to "hit home" as it where. i even asked the question " do you do it to make me look bad, because you are slim & can wear gorgeous clothes " ???? BUT , then i think "but im me , iam what iam, & i wont change because im jealous of that" !!
But to be honest, yes i do get the thought sometimes !! :straightface:

[Carroll]

Jealousy tends to be a big issue with a lot of SO's and their CD spouses. My wife, on occasion, will tell me its not fair that my boobs are bigger than her's or that a nice dress she bought fits me and not her. As far as the breast, she does understand that the size I use fits my body frame. When comes to the dresses, I tend not to wear the ones she buys for herself that she can't wear. I believe its only fair for her.

[Toyah]

Wow you have hit the nail-on-the-head there !! :eek: thats alot of it with me hun. im quite big, and when my SO dresses ( he wears a size 12 ), it does tend to "hit home" as it where. i even asked the question " do you do it to make me look bad, because you are slim & can wear gorgeous clothes " ???? BUT , then i think "but im me , iam what iam, & i wont change because im jealous of that" !!
But to be honest, yes i do get the thought sometimes !! :straightface:

My wife reacts in the same way I think as I do try to look my best but lets face it we are guys you are GGs your beauty shines through ours is artificial. We do not dress to make our SOs bad we dress for ourselves. I do find it hard to understand where GGs have low self esteem you are beautiful "live it "

[Lovely Rita]

I think what you are experiencing is expected. What you are doing is just the right medicine. Talking and asking about it. Are you jealous because this is a part of your SO that you have very little to do with? Or that takes away from your time with your SO?

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

I think what you are experiencing is expected. What you are doing is just the right medicine. Talking and asking about it. Are you jealous because this is a part of your SO that you have very little to do with? Or that takes away from your time with your SO?
Yes in a way :thumbsup: its a form of "sharing" in a way, which is quite hard to deal with sometimes. although we have come to some agreements with it . :rolleyes:

[Tina B.]

Wow you have hit the nail-on-the-head there !! :eek: thats alot of it with me hun. im quite big, and when my SO dresses ( he wears a size 12 ), it does tend to "hit home" as it where. i even asked the question " do you do it to make me look bad, because you are slim & can wear gorgeous clothes " ???? BUT , then i think "but im me , iam what iam, & i wont change because im jealous of that" !!
But to be honest, yes i do get the thought sometimes !! :straightface:

Angie, I hope you don't feel it is a contest between you and your SO, I am sure he doesn't, after all no matter how slim he might be, you have certain femmine features that he would have to be jealous of. he might wear a smaller dress size, but who has the smaller feet, hands, or for that matter, jawline. I am sure you have a femmininty that he can only aspire to.
Tina B.
P.S. I know there is a lot of talk, on this and all of these forums, about women not dressing femmine enough, when out in the world, but that is just because it is the fantasy of so many of us to be able to so, it is hard to think of someone that can and dosen't. most of us desire to attain that, that you where born with.

[Lovely Rita]

Well at leaste you have a handle on it and it can get better. We cds some times think about all the conditioning and inculcation that has led us to being unhappy with who we are. We need to be very sensitive to what you ladies must have to deal with.
You sound like a wonderful lady and partner. I know that if you continue to stoke the Love you both have for each other things will get better. I always appreaciate honesty in my partner, and you are just being you.

Nothing better.

[Kitty Sue]

Wickedblonde GG I am really glad you are here. It is nice to see how open and honest you are being. The guy you are with is very lucky to have you in his life I think. Also don't beat yourself up to much about getting jealous. I also get jealous over other GG, CDs, TGs and men who I perceive to better looking or smarter of richer etc than I am. The good thing is I can always use it as a tool to see what is troubling or bothering me. I wish you all the best and good on you for taking the time and effort to learn.

[CharleneCD]

Angie, I am sure my wife is a bit jealous. She is size 26 and I am a 14/16. She does comment on how I can get away with some styles and admits her jealousy. But I agree with the others, she is the real deal. She automaticly has level of femininity that I will probobly never come close to. But her weight does cause her issues. I have now decided though that I am going to start to push her in her quest to lose weight. I have multiple motives for this, but the biggest is we have similar taste in clothes. If she gets to the same size we can buy more clothes together and share them more. That should take away alot of the jealousy issues. Although my ability to tolerate the epilator will always irk her.:D

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

ty for all your views ( as always ) :o i think that its finding a level where i feel abit more confident about me & the c/d. il get there ..... one day :o

[Felix]

Hi wicked good question! Yeah I tend to ask about how she feels but usually she will tell me how she is feeling about my gender issues. She seems to like the way I dress so that is good I guess. It's good to be honest, sometimes there is stuff I find a bit :o :o about but we always laugh cos she always knows when I'm gonna ask her somethin about my dressing habits xx Felix :hugs:

[kerrianna]

You always ask such interesting and thought provoking questions Angie. :hugs:

To address your question directly....
I guess the ONE question I would never want to ask is:
"Do you want me to stop with the CDing?"

Not that I think she would say yes, but if she did I would be devastated. So nope, not going to ask that one unless it's obvious it's the source of problems.

Fortunately Carol's pretty cool about it all - she likes the 'new' me better, although I imagine that there are times when she looks at me and thinks I make a better GG in some ways. That's why I like to remind her that I'm still GM, and encourage her to be the lady - after all that's what we started as.

It's a bit tricky because I tend to want to push towards the girly-girl parts of me when I do CD (btw I consider myself full-time TG in that I don't have to be dressed like a girl to think and act more like one). Carol, like most GGs, has learned what is practical and picks and chooses her more girly time. So I tend to look and act more like the barbie-doll of the relationship lol. I know it must mess with her image of me sometimes. That's why it's important for me to remember to return to Alpha-Male Base One. :heehee: (oops, alpha-male does NOT giggle like that!)

[Marcie Sexton]

Thanks to my loving & forgiving wife, we've already been through that phase...When I first lost all my wieght I was wearing her clothes and it created a lot of resentment...then after she lost her weight she got a whole new wardrobe...we have now come to a meeting of the minds, where we ask before we wear anything of the others...

I suppose I am one of the lucky ones who has the full support and love...but I never forget that before we found this smooth sailing in our lives, there was more than our share of rough seas to deal with...Thank God we have found our selves...

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

You always ask such interesting and thought provoking questions Angie. :hugs:

To address your question directly....
I guess the ONE question I would never want to ask is:
"Do you want me to stop with the CDing?"

Not that I think she would say yes, but if she did I would be devastated. So nope, not going to ask that one unless it's obvious it's the source of problems.

Fortunately Carol's pretty cool about it all - she likes the 'new' me better, although I imagine that there are times when she looks at me and thinks I make a better GG in some ways. That's why I like to remind her that I'm still GM, and encourage her to be the lady - after all that's what we started as.

It's a bit tricky because I tend to want to push towards the girly-girl parts of me when I do CD (btw I consider myself full-time TG in that I don't have to be dressed like a girl to think and act more like one). Carol, like most GGs, has learned what is practical and picks and chooses her more girly time. So I tend to look and act more like the barbie-doll of the relationship lol. I know it must mess with her image of me sometimes. That's why it's important for me to remember to return to Alpha-Male Base One. :heehee: (oops, alpha-male does NOT giggle like that!)
We have sort of approached the question of stopping the c/d, one min he said he would, then next breath no he couldnt, its part of him, and will NEVER leave him. & yes i fully understand that !! no way would i ask him to give it up !! thats not the prob, its just me, i think the rough rides ive had with relationships , couldnt believe that this would happen !! :rolleyes: BUT il over come my issues with it , im determined to. may take along time, but i will :D

[Joy Carter]

This all funnels down to you and him/her. And how you feel about each other. I know when we first met she was totally hot, if you know what I mean. But when your young and shallow you can't see the person inside. When kids come and the looks start to go you wonder selfishly, what am I staying here for ? I'm glad I grew past that and realized how lucky I am to have such a gem. I'm sure her/she knows that. It's time you knew that too Hun. I see you as one special lady, and I wish you the best in your new relationship.

:hugs: Joy Carter