Dilemma - Wife's reaction

[PaulaMea]

Ok, here goes... I hope I don't rub anyone the wrong way too much. I have a wife that accepts my crossdressing. In fact, we have been known to have a lot of fun with it. My crossdressing has an erotic effect on the both of us. Rather than go into any further detail, suffice it so say that I thank my lucky stars that my wife is accepting and my heart go out to those who are not as lucky.

I would love to have my wife join this forum but there are too many reasons to discourage it. The primary reason is that there are many girls on here that are "full time". Now I don't have any problem with that but my wife, like many other wives would, in the back of her mind always be wondering if I would prefer being female and that I might be transsexual.

I wondering if there are others with the same dilemma.

Peace / Grace

Paula

[Tree GG]

No where in life have I found a true, iron-clad guarantee on anything. I will admit that early on the range of conduct here caused me concern, however just because some feel the need to transition, doesn't mean every CD does. I have to take my husband's word for how he feels and where he wants to take his TG expression.

If she's looking for comradery or information, I would encourage her participation here.

By the way, is your wife aware of "the community" or is she under the impression this is just a fetish thing? :happy:

[suzy]

Hi Paula,

I asked my wife to join this group not so long ago, and she did. She is also a willing partner with me in my crossdressing and I thought she would get more benefit from joining and participating and if it raised questions, then good.....we'd just talk about it.

So far we both have a good understanding of where I am and where I intend on going and we are both comfortable with it. I can say I can only see benefit from having wives join.....but that's just me and my :2c: ...:D

[Emily Ann Brown]

Tree,


I'll answer that one. Some persons are of the mindset that all ANYTHING is alike. Example, my lap dog must be a noisy terror because they once knew a lapdog that barked without limits. All CDs are anything but alike, and all TGs are anything but alike. But some would assume that know one you know them all.

My one day ex was of that mindset. She saw a show once about men in women's clothes, and immediately upon discovering about me KNEW everything about me. There was no discussing any aspect because her mind was already shut tight. I never would have suggested she come here because any "fact" or "topic" she saw would have become the gospel for me (if she would have opened her mind enough to let in ANY fact after seeing that TV show).

Emily Ann
(I think I answered the uneditted post by Tree)

[Marcie Sexton]

As much as I am against this attitude, I would think a lot of us fall under the gise of "don't ask, don't tell"...

My wife knows how I feel and it never comes up...

[Nicole]

Paula,

I don't see how having her join the forum would change anything. Since you both enjoy what you do and this is a supportive place, why not? Your desire to/not to transition fully is an internal one and no amount of forum surfing should change that.

[Tree GG]

Tree,
(I think I answered the uneditted post by Tree)

Sorry about that. After re-reading it, the 1st version sounded abit redundant as Marcie already stated the concern - my bad.

As you said, everyone's experience is different. Perhaps naive of me, but I'd rather err on the side of respect than fear. It could also be said that this (or any) forum has a negative influence on CD's as it encourages them to do things they may not have done otherwise. Perhaps I should stop encouraging Darlene to visit here :p :hugs:

[DawnL]

I guess no-one knows your wife, and how she would respond to posts on this forum, better than you. When I told my wife she was very receptive, wary but receptive. She was inquisitive and wanted to know more about how I felt and everything she could about cding. I encouraged her to join as I knew this to be a source of inspiration and good solid information. I think also that it has both the cder and the SO involved on the same forum keeps it "honest". All can respond to any post and she can get both points of view. My wife also had joined another email group and she says all they do is complain. She likes this group, when she get a chance to veiw it.

[az_azeel]

Hi Paula
I too have a very understanding s/o.. and we have a lot of fun with c/ding..as for your dilema.. I think first and foremost if you are both
happy then carry on.. My s/o is a member of this forum and its great to
see so many "variaties" on here we are all differant and thats what makes us unique...as to her thinking that you will eventualy want to be all female then only you can answer that question... re-assure her talk to her which im sure you do...


take care

az

[SandyR]

My wife is very supportive, but I often wonder if she thinks the same. I always tell her "I like who I am"! I have no intentions of going full time Girl, but I always try to put my self in her shoes (or heels...). Keeps me feeling very lucky and grounded.

SandyR

[IMkrystal]

As you said, everyone's experience is different. Perhaps naive of me, but I'd rather err on the side of respect than fear. It could also be said that this (or any) forum has a negative influence on CD's as it encourages them to do things they may not have done otherwise. Perhaps I should stop encouraging Darlene to visit here :p :hugs:

I would like your opinion on the thread I posted concerning "REJECTION" and how it relates to your fear about encouraging Darlene.

[MJ]

not everyone is like me "ts" we are all differant . so if your wife should join and is open minded then she would know and understand more about us
paula why not get her to read some posts ? you know she will be welcome here

[Kitty Sue]

Why can't your wife decide if she wants to join this forum or not? Why is it your choice weather she can join or not?

Interesting how the "primary reason" your wife would be "discouraged" to join this forum is due to other girls on here being full time TG/CD etc.

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Paula,

I don't (exactly) have the same dilemma because my wife Marla GG is already a member here but regarding the idea that she might think I might one day want to transition to a full time crossdresser has been discussed. I don't really have any boundaries set by her other than hormones and SRS, and to be honest I have no inclination to go down that road because I know I am not TS. The possibility of me becoming totally full time 24/7 is also not likely because I would not want to be dressed at work. We had a discussion (not that long ago) about how if certain "obstacles" were to be "removed" and I had the opportunity to dress whenever I liked would I want do it more often? I said yes I would. Last week Marla told me that she's going to tell her 16 year old son about me soon as she would like to have her "girlfriend" around more often and also we wouldn't have to sneak out of and back in the house like we have to do now when we want to go out.

Although a person can promise not to do something (e.g. transition) if there is one thing you can be sure of about life ... it's that you can't be sure about anything!