Which mode ??

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

Here i go "again" with another question :o but.......
do you prefer yourself in "male" mode OR "female" mode ??
which part of you can you tolerate more if ur either male or f/male role ?? :rolleyes:

[Kate Simmons]

Hi Angie, As you probably already know, I'm cool either way and don't really prefer one or the other. Dressing has become more of an artform(and for fun) to me these days than a need. I'm equally comfortable being Rich or Sal.;) :happy:

[JulieCDorlando]

Hello,
Where I am right now in my life ( have not done any CDing in a couple of months, so I am enjoying being in the regular guy mode at this moment. My CDing comes and goes. I have learned that I can tolerate myself in either the male or the female roles for extended periods of time without stressing about one or the other. I do hope this helps in answering your questions. :D

[Joy Carter]

If had the courage, I'd be living in both modes. But since we all know what that would bring, I have to live primarily as him. But in my mind, I'm a gurl and have been this way all my life.

[Suzie S.]

Hi Angie! Well, I have to be in male mode most of the time, so I am comfortable with that. It makes to time I do dress even more special. :happy: That being said, I would love to experience the female mode much more, but it's just not possible. Oh well, I do know I'm quite blessed to have what I have, and a wonderful wifey also! :happy:

[Joanne f]

Hi,
when i am in the male mode i am quite happy to be male,when i am in the female mode i am also happy to be feeling feminine, but some times when i have to be dressed in male cloth`s i have a great urge to be dressed feminine if that makes any sense,
joanne

[RobertaFermina]

Female mode, hands down.
I'm somewhat bothered in male mode these days with all the responsibilities and uncertainties in life.

Actually, I'm handling it pretty good....just not so much fun with all the turbulence and uncertainty.

Roberta doesn't sweat it. She knows that being happy with what is is best. Funny thing is, why don't Bob know?

Vive La Difference !


:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Gina_darling]

I too am happy in both modes. At the moment I am busy working so don't really have time to crossdress, and because I am so busy I don't really miss it at the moment. The urge will return soon and I look forward to it.

[pedebra]

In my male mode, I am pretty much a no nonsense guy. In my femme mode I am very tolerant and accepting of other views. I have noticed that the more I acknowledge my female side, the more that my male side is becoming more tolerant.
I think that I am becoming happier in my female persona and wish that I could be there more often.
Debra

[TxKimberly]

You DO ask interesting questions! First thing I'd like to clarify is that "I" am "me" regardless of the clothes or makeup. The things I like, enjoy, or feel, do not change with my gender presentation, so for me your question becomes closer to "you prefer to wear pretty clothes, hair, and makeup or not". Hands down I DO prefer the pretty clothes, hair, and makeup. I'm afraid that as a guy, I'm not asll that attractive and I like to think that dressed I am. Dont know if that's true or my perception, but there it is . . .
Kim

[Julie York]

Your question pre-supposes that there is some sort of dual personality disorder brought about by dressing up and becoming "someone else" like some Jeckal and Hyde.

It is an easy way to explain it to someone who doesn't understand, in the same way that people refer to their fem name as if it were someone else, (Julie got new shoes! etc) but clothes are just clothes.

Someone might adopt a different posture, way of walking and talking, but I can't see how anyone can claim to be a nicer person or have different personality traits just because they wore a skirt that day......unless they have serious mental issues.

So in answer to your question.......There is no fem and male me as seperate entities. I'm just as charming and lovable no matter what I am wearing.:D




.

[cindychan]

Although I have the desire to be female, my male side has advantages that I use. Sometimes I must cognitively transform into a more male-centric ego. It sounds crazy but I feel the female/male personas are part of a team that needs to work together , to suceed in life. Then to make matters more complicated , I got a third persona that is more like the ID and makes me nutty but in a good way!:eek: I'm not crazy, you gotta believe me!

[Lissa Stevens]

I much prefer the female mode, unfortunately I have to spend 1/3 of my time in male. I hate the male mode to be honest and can barely tolerate it.

[melissaabom]

Definetly Fem Mode !!

Melissa:2c:

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

I am comfortable either way but if I could I would be female mode all the time because thats what I prefer.

[melissacd]

As I have gotten to know my female side better I find that I enjoy myself most in femme mode. It is a more comfortable state of being for me. I know that may sound odd coming from someone who has said a few times on this forum that I am comfortable with both sides of myself and that I have no intention of transitioning, however, as I move forward in life I am finding that my mind is opening up more and more to the wondrous possibilities of this universe and I am getting so much more comfortable with uncertainty and ambiguity. Life is an ever flowing river and it is constantly changing. As I open my mind and my heart I see so much more than I did. It really is quite wonderful and amazing actually.

I am sure that I am making complete nonsense to all of you :p

[Daintre]

In a fantasy world, I would be female, no question, in the real world I present as a male because that is what friends, family and others think of me and there is to much to lose muddying up the waters. The time I do spend dressing is quality time for me, but I certainly can tolerate the male part.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

I'm kind of split right now between both. My male mode has sort of made a resurgence, and I'm kind of enjoying it at times. I still enjoy being femme, but for now it's the male mode that pays the bills, and supports my femme side and my wife. Jocelyn

[suzy]

I prefer my female mode! I enjoy my feminine side much more than my masculine side. Even when I am in my masculine mode, I am now a bit less argumentative, get agitated less frequently and I find myself a lot more tolerant of others. My senses are more alive where I notice the beauty in things and the fragrant smells. I just like the softer side of me better whether in male or female mode....make sense?:hugs:

[melissacd]

So in answer to your question.......There is no fem and male me as seperate entities. I'm just as charming and lovable no matter what I am wearing.:D .

Julie,

And I thought that there was only "Julie", the witty, oftentimes sarcastic and yet ever so lovable person who I envision always walks around in those sassy heels. You have indeed shattered my delusion of you.

That being said, you make a good point. I say that I enjoy my femme mode more, however, it is a mode, a point on the (totally artificial) gender continuum. I have in my mind a model of characteristics/behaviours that are more masculine, more feminine and somewhere in between (there are an infinite number of points on the curve), but that mental model is my own and everyone's else's is different. In my model, there are things that I would consider more feminine and these are things that I am starting to gravitate more towards at this point in time. Later I may move in a different direction. All that being said, they are all still me, they were always there and I chose to project more or less of any characteristic at any given time.

Thanks to all of you who time and again point out that gender is not bipolar (though perhaps I am) and that gender constructs do not define who we are.

Now off to the mall to buy some new heels :)

Huggs
Melissa

[Tina B.]

I don't know, what day is it? it ebbs and flows, there are times I can and don't dress for days, even weeks, then there are times I won't get out of a skirt for a week at a time. When I am in the male mood, I am happy in the male mode, and don't think that much about the female side of it. When I am in the female mood, I am very happy in the female mode, and don't think that much about the male side of it. Sorry not much of an answer, but that's the way it goes with me.
Tina B.

[Kate Simmons]

Put simply, it's a combination of this, that and the other thing. Yes, no and maybe but I digress, that's what makes a person.:happy:

[soccervixen]

I don't really want to live in a fantasy world - I have a much better time in reality, so I am mostly in "male mode" because I am a male, but dress in women's clothes (as defined by society) because 1) I like the feel of them, 2) they are comfortable, 3) it's something new for me and I like it.

Like many of us here, I am moving outside the box of defining certain things as male or female. As I was applying my mascara yesterday in the bathroom where I work (I get in early before anyone else!), I was thinking - men wear toupees, color their hair, etc. but those are not associated with "female". Mascara is "female". But I see little distinction to be honest. I wish my environment allowed me to wear female attire (espeically high heels!) on a daily basis with no issues, but the world I live in has big issues, so it's a more private thing for me. What makes high heels for women, lows for men. You all know all this anyway! Some of you are more comfortable being more open, etc. So I wear women's underwear (much more comfortable than men's!) - not as a statement of gender, but as a personal choice of what I find personally comfortable. I use mascara because I really like the look of my eyelashes longgggg! It's not male or female for me.

[Iniquity Blonde GG]

Lol well thats me been put in me place !! :eek: no no, i perfectley understand that it doesnt really have that much impact on some of you as either male or f/male mode :D
& Juile York...... i think you should be f/male :straightface: by hell youd frighten alot of women round ere pmsl :heehee: ( as in the "female bitchy" side ) !! :D

[Lilith Moon]

I'm with Ms York with this one, male/female modes don't exist for me. I'm simply me whether dressed or not. In my real life Lilith as a persona never "comes to visit". The only place that Lilith exists is as the femme name I use in here.

[Rachel Morley]

There is no fem and male me as separate entities. I'm just as charming and lovable no matter what I am wearing. :D
LOL...ditto! I like to think of myself as "me" whatever clothes I'm in. I sometimes think of myself as Rachel when I'm in boy mode. In other words I call myself Rachel in my head when I'm talking to myself (does this make me sound like a goof ball? :heehee:) My view of myself as "being female" is starting to manifest itself during "boy moments" - like when I'm at work. Or dear ...am I on a slippery slope to somewhere? :happy:

[marie354]

Actually I'm the same person no matter how I'm dressed. Although I'm a bit stressed when in guy mode as I feel I'm hiding a part of me.
I prefer the female role as it is more expressive.

[tall sam]

If you are luck enough to be in female mode to compare then I am jealous.
I can only be in fem mode a few times a month but probably think if it every day and wonder what it would be like being fully fem. I will never fit in as a lady so it will always just be a dream!

[trannie T]

I'm the same person no matter what I'm wearing. I like myself as Tom and as Judy, the biggest difference is that Judy wears better makeup.

[sami1952]

If i could i would be in female mode all the time.

[Karren H]

I perfer myself in which ever mode is appropriate for the situation.... and I'm happy in either mode....

Karren

[RobynM]

Male side? That would be the man who's been living in my skin all this time. People make me me cross dress and wear his clothes quite often, too often in fact. A female work colleague ( they know nothing of my reallity - I think)recently remarked "if you were a woman you'd be a right bitch" Ever tried biting your tongue and smiling at the same time?
There's no doubt that some TG people do behave and feel different when they are dressed, usually it's because they are escaping reallity - Lola doesn't have to think about work or bills or responsibilities. She is bound to be more relaxed and able to take a different view of life. It's a good trick if you can do it, good luck to them.
It would be true to say that I'm more relaxed, confident and clear headed when I'm presenting as female, possibly because I can ignore the horrible form I was born with and just get on with life, I tend to deal with all the hard stuff when I'm dressed rather than trying to forget it.
But here's a can of worms for you, am I really using the female personna as a shield? An actor can do anything when in character, take the props away and they become a different creature. I recently had some problems with my bank, eventually I marched in wearing what amounts to a buisiness suit with a slightly too short skirt ( I do the severe/sexy middle aged woman quite well and I am blessed with decent legs). It was all sorted rather quickly, perhaps because their diversity training said they should treat me with care, perhaps because my appearance threw them a bit or possibly because I gained confidence hiding behind my mask.
What this ramble really means is that it's impossible to identify what makes us feel better/worse in any form of presentation because there are so many variations not only within ourselves but in the reaction of others which in turn impact on our own state of mind.

[kerrianna]

Here i go "again" with another question :o but.......
do you prefer yourself in "male" mode OR "female" mode ??
which part of you can you tolerate more if ur either male or f/male role ?? :rolleyes:

Love your questions Angie - always making us think!
...uh...there won't be a test later will there?

While I seperate my modes in my head a bit, esp for explaining to other people, they are more or less intertwined and present together at all times. What I know you mean is when one side is more predominant. Well my male mode is the one the rest of the world knows me by, and is the one who trudges off to work, etc, so I guess I'd say it's more naturally me based on history. It's achieved lots for me, but does come with a lot of baggage, so my female side which is newer, fresher and more open, is actually useful in helping deal with that baggage.

I have to be careful how I describe this as it sounds kind of schizoid hehehe.

Right now I prefer myself in a more female mode, but that's partly about achieving balance. Like I said it's also fresher, newer, more exciting, with less baggage. But I think I intermesh both sides pretty well on a day to day basis. Gender Identity to me is a slidng scale and some days I'm more this than that - a lot depends on what the outside world needs or expects from me.

I try to avoid being wholly one or the other, so I feel more balanced (ie having painted toes, wearing undergarments, discreet jewelry, etc while in drab, or not going all out when dressed). But because my feminine side has been suffocated for so long she's bit more pushy these days. :heehee: She gets ALL the new clothes! :rolleyes:

[LoriFlores]

In a fantasy world, I would be female, no question, in the real world I present as a male because that is what friends, family and others think of me and there is to much to lose muddying up the waters. The time I do spend dressing is quality time for me, but I certainly can tolerate the male part.

Amen, and I agree about whether I look like a guy or a girl its still the one me inside. However, if a jeannie in a bottle gave me the choice, and I could do so w/o hurting anyone or their expectations, I'd choose to be female full time.

[Juanita O]

I thought that i was a girl. my mom always wanted a daughter.but i learned to use both mode. at this time i have to be in boy mode. At this time I would have to say both modes.

[TraceyDresses]

I love being dressed, when I can, which isn't as often as I'd like. When I walk through the women' clothing section, I so get imagine what I'd look like inthe outfits I see. Most of the time when I am not dressed, I just don't think about it.

[btmgrl6]

Female....most comfortable there,where the outside matches the inside. A duel personality? No, but I feel much calmer in my female mode. I don't seem to have that inner turmoil.

Steph

[marissa_darling]

Female by far. I feel waaaaay more comfortable.

[Lovely Rita]

They are both at times wonderful and at times intolerable according to my SO. I love both modes.