So where are you?

[ubokvt]

What is trans? CD? Transsexual? I have friends who “just” dress, some on HRT, some who have had some surgery, some who can’t for medical or financial reasons. Friends who live 24/7 as a woman, but have done nothing physical to their body, and don’t plan to. I dress, when time and circumstance allow. I’ve made some minor physical changes nails, hair, pierced ears. I go out and interact in society. I’m comfortable with my biology but given a chance to experience the other side for a time I probably would. I do reject western society’s idea of a man and all its boundaries and rules. Yet I have no real yearning to completely embrace that same society’s role of a woman. Emotionally, behaviorally I am transitioning to a new role definition that doesn’t fit any commonly accepted gender role. I’m trying to embrace , feel, and express, all the emotions and feelings all humans are capable of, but rejected or denied because they didn’t fit the role, and others said I couldn’t. I use to think I was just a CDer but now??? I am changing so maybe I moved beyond CD but I don’t see my self reshaping my body so transsexual doesn’t fit. So where ????

[Colleentg]

I consider myself Transsexual, because the mind is the drive to dress. I am also considered CD because I can't dress 24/7 right now. But if you suggested TG, I fit the bill. Transgendered. I have boobs from hormones and have a very feminine male appearance, too. I don't know what else to call it or how to prove myself. I do plan on surgery. I'm not keeping something that doesn't fit my personality. What doesn't' change is I'd rather be a lesbian. Ok, I confused you enough.

[Carin's Wife GG]

and I find it a lovely boat to be in!


Louise (GG)

[Kate Simmons]

This is why I don't like "labels". I'm myself, plain and simple. I don't try to fit into anyone else's mold or definition of who I should be. I'm content with that and it seems you are also, so I see no problem. Any "problems" usually come from others who are too narrow minded to accept folks as they are and seek rigid definitions due to their own lack of understanding of the human condition. Simply put, everyone is different. The sooner we realize that, the sooner mankind in general will be able to move forward instead of spinning it's wheels.:happy:

[kerrianna]

What is trans? CD? Transsexual? I have friends who “just” dress, some on HRT, some who have had some surgery, some who can’t for medical or financial reasons. Friends who live 24/7 as a woman, but have done nothing physical to their body, and don’t plan to. I dress, when time and circumstance allow. I’ve made some minor physical changes nails, hair, pierced ears. I go out and interact in society. I’m comfortable with my biology but given a chance to experience the other side for a time I probably would. I do reject western society’s idea of a man and all its boundaries and rules. Yet I have no real yearning to completely embrace that same society’s role of a woman. Emotionally, behaviorally I am transitioning to a new role definition that doesn’t fit any commonly accepted gender role. I’m trying to embrace , feel, and express, all the emotions and feelings all humans are capable of, but rejected or denied because they didn’t fit the role, and others said I couldn’t. I use to think I was just a CDer but now??? I am changing so maybe I moved beyond CD but I don’t see my self reshaping my body so transsexual doesn’t fit. So where ????

Yay! You are here, that's where. :happy: :hugs:

[natasha]

I only wish I knew where I was. I dress every opportunity I get, but at this point it is underdressing only in public. I view myself as not presenting myself as I was meant to be but, the bills have to be paid. If only I could make sure the bills would get paid who knows how I would be presenting myself in public.

I feel so much more comfortable in being Natasha that I am finding it harder and harder to present myself as I have for so many years (42 yo now). If it were possible or acceptable all of my male clothes and personality would be given to the red cross so that I could be the person that I feel that I really am.

The last year has been so wonderful now that I am coming out somewhat. We will see how the next year goes.

[Satrana]

You are simply transgendered in the fullest meaning of the word. You are being you. You are being more true to yourself than everyone else around you. So if you are feeling all at sea, then don't be becaue you are the one who is anchoring yourself to solid ground whilst everyone else is floundering.

I often think that one deep rooted reason why other people can be unnerved by who we are is because they recognize that we are taking control of our lives which is something they long for as well but feel incapable of achieving. They simply are not brave enough to be themselves.

I recall looking at punks during the 1980s and thinking what wierdos they were but also I was thinking how amazing it was that they were so carefree that they did not care what others thought of them. So despite their strange appearance I realized they were more confident and grounded about themselves than I could ever be. I was envious of them to a certain extent, and envy often brings on resentment.

[Eileen]

Each of us is different ubokvt and there is nothing wrong with that. Life is constantly changing for all of us. As we travel along in life we will from time to time see things differently. Many of us as we get older find out desires to be more feminine increase. What ever we feel and do, it is okay as long as we are satisfied. What others thing, except for a loving and supportive spouse, really do not matter all that much.

In my case I have found that I am very content living full time as a woman. It is a decission many are not able to make for a variety of reasons. In my case the opportunity came about through rather unhappy event in my life. Even so, it opened up the door for me to be who I have wanted to be for a long time. To have not taken the journey would not allowed myself to be who I really am. This is not the end of my journey through life, just a turn down another road. A road that has brought me a lot of satisfaction and enjoyment.

Eileen

[Joy Carter]

What is trans? CD? Transsexual? I have friends who “just” dress, some on HRT, some who have had some surgery, some who can’t for medical or financial reasons. Friends who live 24/7 as a woman, but have done nothing physical to their body, and don’t plan to. I dress, when time and circumstance allow. I’ve made some minor physical changes nails, hair, pierced ears. I go out and interact in society. I’m comfortable with my biology but given a chance to experience the other side for a time I probably would. I do reject western society’s idea of a man and all its boundaries and rules. Yet I have no real yearning to completely embrace that same society’s role of a woman. Emotionally, behaviorally I am transitioning to a new role definition that doesn’t fit any commonly accepted gender role. I’m trying to embrace , feel, and express, all the emotions and feelings all humans are capable of, but rejected or denied because they didn’t fit the role, and others said I couldn’t. I use to think I was just a CDer but now??? I am changing so maybe I moved beyond CD but I don’t see my self reshaping my body so transsexual doesn’t fit. So where ????

I think I'm pretty much where you are at this point. Maybe leaning towards TS. But that will never happen because I'm married and happy with her in my life.:D

[Deborah]

I consider myself Transsexual, because the mind is the drive to dress. I am also considered CD because I can't dress 24/7 right now. But if you suggested TG, I fit the bill. Transgendered. I have boobs from hormones and have a very feminine male appearance, too. I don't know what else to call it or how to prove myself. I do plan on surgery. I'm not keeping something that doesn't fit my personality. What doesn't' change is I'd rather be a lesbian. Ok, I confused you enough.

I'm almost like you except i'm not on hormones or a lesbian. :)

[Suzie S.]

In my case I'm a crossdresser in the closet to everyone but my wife. I've never been out in public except for Halloween. Although, going out enfemme is becoming a stronger desire for me. I'm OK where I'm at right now, who knows where it'll take me in the future. :happy:

[Casey Morgan]

I use to think I was just a CDer but now??? I am changing so maybe I moved beyond CD but I don’t see my self reshaping my body so transsexual doesn’t fit. So where ????

I can understand wanting a label or word that describes you. If you're OK being who you are and are looking for an adjective rather than a definition, there are a few things you can look at. TG might fit, given that part of the original (and still valid) definition includes people who feel they are between genders. Genderqueer might work, especially since you don't have to be between genders to be genderqueer. Androgyne might also work since it's only really used by those who are between genders. But those three really depend on who you know yourself to be. So you have to be like Brian in The Breakfast Club and ask yourself, "Who are you?" (And "I am a walrus" would make you part of a second group of people. :D )

The one caveat here is you don't BECOME TG, genderqueer, or androgyne. You simply ARE who you are and those labels are more of a shorthand for that.

[MsJanessa]

I really try to resist labeling Myself because it really limits Me--

[ubokvt]

Where I am is not so much about labels as it is mile posts or makers on a journey. A place to stop briefly, to look back on where you've been, then to trun and look what lies ahead. Hellen Boyd once joked what is the difference between a CDer and a transexual. "Two years". All of this is a journey we don't stay in on place. And part of that journey is self relection and wonder. Where am I today, where will I be tomorow, and what will I explore next.

[Teresa Amina]

When I first hit these forums a year ago I thought I was "just a CDer". Didn't take long to see there was something much deeper going on. "Where I am" is on the edge, one foot in the old life with the other stepping on an imaginary line between wanting-to-Be and Being. But I'm frozen there for the moment, the practicalities of life must be dealt with first. Oooooh! To step over... The desire to do so makes me TransSomething, to actually do it would be that other word.

[Charleen]

Started out as a guy who couldn't figure out why he HAD to wear women's clothes and have now come to realize after being on this forum that I have always been TS. How liberating that knowledge is. Today even in Charlie mode, I am Lily and am happy for the first time in my life. All my anger I had has gone. I am at peace inside for the first time in my life.
Will I transition? I want to say no, but i have learned to never say never. Who knows how I will feel in a year or two. So much has opened up to me in less than a year so I don't know.
I do know that I AM TS, and feel I am now CDing when I am Charlie. Go figure!
Love and xxxxx, Lily

[Sally24]

We only have a few names, but an infinite variety of flavors. It would be a little more clear to people if we could just show them some graphs and point to some spot on it that represented where we were on the scale. I'm a little way past the midpoint. Probably a little more female than male, but not TS. I like my body ok, but being female feels very "right" to me. I get to sample both sides, but not really be in one or the other. It's very nice, but it's easy to get jealous of TS where they are solidly going to one end or the other of the scale. It would be nice to truely "belong" somewhere. But life is rarely perfect. I am just happy that I seem to have found a way to have my cake and eat it too. I have a good male life with a great family. And I have a nice part time female life with T-girl friends and places to go and enjoy myself.

Sally

[Deanna2]

I find labels only confuse an already very confused world. I wonder why people put labels on themselves. You have a name - provided by someone else. Isn't that a label enough to explain who and what you are?

Society has gazillions of labels for everything. Ninety nine point nine percent of them are wrong and/or misapplied. Don't help society make a mess of your life when you are perfectly capable of doing that yourself.

[TxKimberly]

Transgender applies to us all, so I will leave it at that. What I wish I were, what I am, what I am willing to do to become what I wish I were, are all different things that put me somewhere in a grey area.
Thats OK though, I'm used to being caught somewhere in the middle! lol
Kim

[boygirl]

I believe that we are all, over, and that there are many degrees of ones own dressing. Some of us are fairly new like (moi) and some have been doing it for a long time.

Chrissy

[Karren H]

I'd like to say "that's for me to know and you to find out" but hell I don't even know why I crossdress let alone where I'm going.... And when it comes right down to it I could care less.... The why's and the where's...

I'm right here and right now and having a blast!! And that's all that counts, at least for me!!!

Love Karren

[gennee]

I am a transvestite and transgender. I don't let that define who I am because there are other sides to me.

Gennee

:happy:

[Melanie R]

I also hate labels. For many of us we are evelving which means that we may be a CD who later in life admits that he/she is TS. Most will never leave the stage of CD. I see myself as a person who loves women and femininity and enjoys seeing myself as a woman through the clothes and feminine emotions and mind set. I also hold on to my masculinity to meet my wife's needs. In reality as a man I get things done. My feminine persona is more passive and wants to be taken care of. As I get older and because I have complete freedom to dress enfemme whenever I desire and go whereever I desire, I find that dressing up is not the need I experienced when younger.

[LindaTS]

I'm a TS and am very happy with who I am. Like all of us, I had to start somewhere and I was only 6 or 7 when that happened. My only regret is not finding out a long time ago who I am. If that had happened 20 or 30 years ago my life would have been much different now. It's a little too late in life for me to make any major changes so I just take it one day at a time and be thankful with what I have.

[Tamera]

Your question has gotten you a variety of answers.

You have people who don't like labels.

You have people who need a label to know where they are in life, even though you may be borderline, so in that case there is no direct label. And some people want labels so they know how they are transitioning. I would say you are between CD and TG.

And I to am like you. I don't like staying one gender. I like being able to "HOP IN AND OUT AT WILL".

Amazing how limited a CDers job is when they dress. It is usually a florist, a make-up artist or maybe a barmaid in a CD bar. This was just to address other areas of your thread.

You make it through life W or W/O labels.
Love,
Tamera

[Alice Torn]

If I go out dressed ever again, and some one asked what I am, I can say 'me, a guy in drag, crossdressed, Lucille, a lady, a complex person, or I got drunk, then accidently put on my ladyfriend's clothes!

[Ruth]

I want to continue to experience both sides of the gender line, so though I dress often, and maintain feminine grooming such as shaved body and legs most of the time, I always return to, and value, my male life. If I went further and committed to full-time femininity I would be losing half of myself. So though I don't particularly want to classify myself I would say "just a crossdresser, no more no less".
And what fun it is.

[ErikaLeigh]

I am exactly like "ME" :D

But serously, these forums and all the interaction and information here have really helped me a lot. I am much more comfortable with who I am, and I have one foot out the door ready to step into public for the first time. Just waiting for the right moment. As far as everything else, I am happily married, and dont plan on that ever ending. At this point in my life I would never transition, or want to live full time because I like my masculine side too. I would like to explore going out in public though, and im sure that will happen sooner than later.

[btmgrl6]

fulltime girl,implants...long hair,and nails....looking at re-starting HRT. Loving my life

Steph