The age old bathroom quandry.

[Deidra Cowen]

After clubbing this past weekend very early Saturday Morning...well 4am myself and two of my friends (guy and a GG) went to the Marietta Diner for a very late snack.

Had to go to the bathroom and to be frank I really advoid doing that except at the Nightclubs where we are generally welcome. Thought to myself no way am I going to the mens room since I seemed to be blending in well to that point. Looked out to my left and a couple of cops were at a table eating.

One of them a lady police officer looked at me with an amused look on her face...yeap she read me! But she seemed to like me if I judged right. I kept on going and made it into the ladies room. Did my buisness and came right back out. No troubles! By the way the place was about half full...pretty big crowd. But it worked out.

Guessing I can be a bit braver at the mall and other places now enfemme when in need to go the the restroom. Up to now a lot of shopping trips ended cause I needed to get back home to use the restroom.

Alway thats my latest 'bathroom' episode to report on. Gotta admit thats been one of my problems with Tgirling.

[SherriePall]

Deidra -- I would have thought by now that you would have had all these problems solved. Now, I guess you do. That is one step I haven't taken yet. I do have to ask you what you meant by the woman officer seemed to like you.

[Deidra Cowen]

Deidra -- I would have thought by now that you would have had all these problems solved. Now, I guess you do. That is one step I haven't taken yet. I do have to ask you what you meant by the woman officer seemed to like you.

Hard to really answer..but ya know sometimes you just pickup a vibe. She seemed to be a bit amused with me but I detected no hostility nor did she seem bothered by me. Just probably thinking it was funny the Tgirl was out at the diner in the early hours I guess.

[AERIN]

The ladies room is too easy to do. I still get the biggest thrill seidling up to a urinal, lifting my skirt and peeing. I sent more than one guy running LOL.
Mostly though I hold it all night as long as I can.

[RobertaFermina]

Aerin, that is a movie moment if I ever heard one! ROTFL!

Yay Dierdre! I always psyche myself up before going into the ladies room. I tell myself "I will be discreet, polite, and friendly. These GGs I meet are my sisters."

I make sure I face other occupants and smile or say 'hi', if they seem open.

So far, I've been able to freshen up with no problems.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[Elle1946]

One of the best things that I found is the family restrooms. You can go in by yourself without the worry of being seen by either sex.

[Kristen Kelly]

Just like a lot of those here I avoid using the ladies room out unless necessary, not that I have a problem doing so, but unsure how anyone will react. Last thing I want is a ticket to appear in court or even worst to be arrested. I have been out to the mall and used the ladies room, done what I have to do (with my feet pointed in the correct direction) washed my hands quick check of the makeup and left, without ever a problem.

[AllieSF]

Aerin,

What a great Kodak moment. I am having trouble even thinking of going out, and now there is this real life situation that I never thought about to take a leak standing or sitting and behind which door? Maybe one day I can walk in either room depending on my mood and not bat an eye.

[Toyah]

I have to say thats much better than Karrens hitch it up and use the urinal trick:eek: :D :thumbsup:

[Danielle_oc_ca]

When en femme, I always use the ladies room. If in doubt, go to Starbucks as genenerally they have a pair of private bathrooms. Whether in guy or gal mode I will try the right one first but if its occupied I will use the other one, no matter what.

An interesting thing a few weeks ago. I have long blonde hair and wear it in a pony tail in guy mode. I was driving back to LA from Palm Springs with my daughter. I was wearing a beige scrub top, with a light flowered print and black sweat pants. I had to go when we were on the 60 going through Mareno Valley so we stopped at a Denny's and I went to the men's room. When I was washing up, a guy came in and looked at me and turned around and walked out,

When I left the rest room, there he was waiting for this "woman" to get out of the bathroom so he could use it. I heard a few whispers from a couple people on the way out. Its not the first time I got clocked as a woman but one of the most interesting considering I was not really even trying.

But then, when I flew back from Vancouver after Christmas, there are 5 steps you have to go through to clear the various stages of US customs and security. I was wearing a gold track suit, hiking boots and about a 2 day beard growth (I was seeing my electrologist the next day). Still, I got called ma'am at 3 of the five steps. OK, so there was no beard on my upper lip and chin but below the chin it was really getting there.

Danielle

[Trisha]

The ladies room is too easy to do. I still get the biggest thrill seidling up to a urinal, lifting my skirt and peeing. I sent more than one guy running LOL.
Mostly though I hold it all night as long as I can.

i have done that as well but when the guy starts running i sing im so pritty oh so pritty and he runs even faster lol hahaha :D

[MarieTS]

Deidra, what do you think it was that enabled the police woman to read you?

[Eva Diva]

Saturday at 4AM in a diner you can get away with a lot more. That's when all the strip club workers are having breakfast. And ATL has LOTS of strip clubs. Or so I've been told. :D

[Joy Carter]

The one thing about using the ladies room is that if a GG is in there and she freaks, your libel to be in trouble. There is a law in Ohio called "Disorderly Conduct". And it can be, by causing someone to be really upset, making you in violation of it. It's their space and your trespassing on their turf.:o

[Deidra Cowen]

Deidra, what do you think it was that enabled the police woman to read you?

I'm not passable! :tongueout Only have progressed to blendable....joking a bit here with ya but honestly like 99% of the Tgirls out there I give off clues that I am a guy. That being said most the time I can go around and not get noticed...but upon close inspection people will read me.

Would probably need to go on hormones, lose weight and ditch the wig to be passable! Only one of those is an option and dang it I did not help myself in that area last night when I ate Cake and Ice Cream with my kids.



The one thing about using the ladies room is that if a GG is in there and she freaks, your libel to be in trouble. There is a law in Ohio called "Disorderly Conduct". And it can be, by causing someone to be really upset, making you in violation of it. It's their space and your trespassing on their turf

Yeap its illegal for a Tgirl to use a ladies room here in Georgia too. Thats why the whole thing has bothered me up to theis point. But I think using the mens room could be more dangerous, scared some guy might react badly and lord knows I could find myself in a violent situation.


Saturday at 4AM in a diner you can get away with a lot more. That's when all the strip club workers are having breakfast. And ATL has LOTS of strip clubs. Or so I've been told.

Are you saying I looked like a Stripper that night?? <<giggle>> But yes there are tons of strip clubs here sweetie. Thats one place I probably will never go to as a fem. LOL

[cindybarnes]

Hi Deidra,,

Well Im glad everything came out ok :) I bet you had the female cops imagination going,,,,,you know,, they carry those handcuffs home LOL
Im not out in public that often for the bathrooms to be a prob yet, but Im sure someday I will have to deal with the issue.

Great to hear your still tearing up the town girl !! Hope to catch up with ya soon somewhere !

Cindy

[Angie G]

Deidra that great now we can shop till we drop hun :hugs:
Angie

[DAVIDA]

My first time out was in Atlanta in a resuraunt. I had to go and used the ladies room. I killed two birds at one time, and got the first scares over.
I also met Diedra that evening with others and used the ladies room again. Knowing that I was a rookie, Diedra reminded me to sit!
Love, Davida

[CharleneCD]

I have yet to face this problem when I have been out. For some reason I develop an Iron bladder when out fem. Once I get home though its an Austin Powers moment.

[uknowhoo]

Damn, Deidra, you got some cajones! I can't imagine going into the ladies room with cops right there! :whew!: :worship:I gotta hand it to ya! I have used the ladies room on several occasions, but always at "friendlier" establishments. Thanx for posting. xoxo T

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

When in Rome do as the Romans would, ie; when in feminine mode I always use the womans bathroom and if anyone had a problem with it I would apologize and discreetly make my retreat. It's after all only a bathroom and unless you are going in to check out the competition it should not be a problem.

[Joy Carter]

[QUOTE=Deidra Cowen;806606]



Yeap its illegal for a Tgirl to use a ladies room here in Georgia too. Thats why the whole thing has bothered me up to theis point. But I think using the mens room could be more dangerous, scared some guy might react badly and lord knows I could find myself in a violent situation.



Deidra it not illegal in Ohio to use the womans restroom. Just if some GG would get overly upset, like she felt threatened by our presance and started screaming. Than would be a disorderly conduct.

If I recall it right it reads "Ingaging in acts likely to cause alarm or panic to persons of ordinary sensabilties". A guy in a dress in a womans restroom would be seen as such if there was a complaint. Then the officer would need to see the offence to do anything about it. Just that it would be embarrasing if we got talked to by an officer, about why were were in there. "Gee officer I had to P"! :rolleyes:

BTW you don't have to ID yourself if asked by a ploice officer. Only if your driving a vehicle and have broken a law. That is in the rules of arrest by federal law.

[Sally24]

I'm surprised you still have a problem with this at this stage. You've been out and about alot from your posts on here. Granted, I don't feel "comfortable" in the ladies room, but I use it whenever I need. My wife and go most anywhere we want so I am pretty passable on a good day. I have never had any problem with using the ladies room.

In most states it is not specifically illegal for a t-girl to use the bathroom. Some places actually protect your right to use the room of your presented gender. Cambridge and Boston, Mass are just 2 of those cities. Hopefully that will change with time.

Sally

[Deidra Cowen]

Sally that map is very informative! I see a green dot for Atlanta. I assume then its ok to use a ladies restroom there then? (by the way i was not in Atlanta proper...was actually in Cobb Co which is not exactly enlightened liberal territory! :eek: )

[Sally24]

Well, the map means there is some laws that specifically protect peoples rights by gender presentation. They are all a little different so you have to check around to find what is included. These might help a little.

Sally

http://www.transgenderlaw.org/ndlaws/ngltftlpichart.pdf

http://jweissdiary.blogspot.com/search/label/Georgia

[Leslie Foxx]

I don't see a key to the map. Sally, could you give the lowdown on the White and Beige colors?

[Rachel Morley]

I'm super lucky as I have Marla with me all the time and so I'm able to go to any restroom anywhere as she tends to "keep guard" for me. The only time I have ever been in the women's restroom on my own is in gay bars, which while (technically) I am "trespassing" no one seems to care. :happy:

[Sally24]

I don't see a key to the map. Sally, could you give the lowdown on the White and Beige colors?

The white means there is absolutely no specific legal protections for people by gender presentation. You'll notice that slides thru the south and up into the midwest.

Brown means that there are no state laws but there are some counties that have their own laws protecting by gender.

The green dots means there are specific cities that have their own local laws or ordinances that protect our rights.

And of course green indicates that state has state laws that protect us.

I can't vouch for when this was updated, as the other links also sometimes show only up to a certain year. Calls to the local city hall or state house might yield you better, more up to date info on local protections. Mass. is currently considering a state wide law to protect our civil rights.

Sally

[Deidra Cowen]

Thanks Sally for the links! I looked thru them, not 100% still on the restroom queston but if 'Public Accomodations' also means restrooms then in Atlanta I would be ok using the ladies room according to the law.

[Brianna Lovely]

MTA Settles Case of Trans Rest Rooms
Trans Worker at Grand Central ‘thrilled’ with outcome
Monday, October 30, 2006


NEW YORK (AP) — Transgender people won the right to use any rest room operated by the Metropolitan Transportation Authority in railroad and subway stations in an agreement reached with a woman who had sued the agency for the right.

Under the agreement, reached last Monday, the MTA also agreed to pay Helena Stone, formerly known as Henry McGuinness, $2,000 in damages to pay for her legal fees, according to the Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund, which represented Stone.

It also calls for the MTA to hold transgender sensitivity training for its workers.

The MTA confirmed the settlement but declined to comment further.

Stone, 70, filed a complaint with the city’s Human Rights Commission after being arrested three times for using the women’s restroom at Grand Central Terminal where she worked as a telephone technician. She was charged with disorderly conduct each time.

Stone said the arrests forced her to use a cup in her office, which has no bathroom.

Stone, who dresses like woman, has been in transition from male to female for about 10 years.

"I’m thrilled with it," Stone said after the agreement was reached.

During one arrest, Stone said, an officer called her "a freak, a weirdo and the ugliest woman in the world" and warned her, "If I ever see you in the women’s bathroom, I’m going to arrest you."

The MTA dropped its charges in March against Stone after the TLDEF staged a rally outside Grand Central in February.

The Human Rights Commission has previously instituted a similar policy for government and other public bathrooms in the city.

[AllieSF]

That is great. Now, the next time I am in New York, I can pick the door with teh shortest line! Or, do I have to be dressed to do that?

[Brianna Lovely]

Mmm, is it a coincedence, that all the states without Equal Rights, are "Red States"???

[Lisa Thorne]

I just go to the ladies room. No one ever botherd me.

[Emma England]

In order to be charged, surely there must be evidence in place of inappropriate behavior. Most crossdressers behave better in the ladies room than some women do.

[Karren H]

Surprise she didn't rush in to the ladies room and bust you!! Lol. Pat you down for weapons!! Hehe

I've never had any problems using the restroom for which ever gender I was dressed as.. A few times when in mixed gender mode I chose the unisex resttroom.. Well because I didn't even know what gender I was representing so how could anyone else!!

The last trip out I was enfemme but in male clothes... And used the ladies room at a rest area where a bunch of police were inspecting trucks... I expected to be aprended when I came out of the ladies room... But they weren't there!! Whewwwww...

"Breaking News...... A man dressed as a woman dressed as a man was caught by police today at a nearby rest area using the ladies restroom". Photos at 11:00"...... Lots and lots of photos!!

:D

Love Karren

[Cristi]

Mmm, is it a coincedence, that all the states without Equal Rights, are "Red States"???

ummm... last time I checked, Vermont (where I live, and you have marked as a red state) is about as 'blue' as it gets. We don't have any specific laws here regarding the issue, my guess is that no cases have come up yet were people have complained and things have gone to court, so there has been no 'push' on the issue.

Vermont is pretty much a 'live and let live' state, so I don't ever see it being much of an issue. Perhaps you confused Vt. with our neighbor New Hampshire which IS Red. :(

[Cristi]

I've never had any problems using the restroom for which ever gender I was dressed as..

Karen;

You are a special case... you go IN male and come OUT female :)

[Kandi]

deidra
Having had the pleasure of your company I find it hard to believe you would have any problems any where. You go girl where ever you want to!!

[Di]

Sorry so late missed this while on holiday. You always handle yourself out and about with so much class...kudos to you hon.:hugs:

[Fab Karen]

I think many cops unless they see something illegal ( like driving acts) or you really look suspicious ( acting VERY nervous and catching their eye because of it ) are not gonna bother with little things they may see that aren't an obvious illegal act. Context matters of course ( like walking down an alley late at night ).

[Joyciecd]

I am older than most that post here, I believe. When I was on my way to Transpit Saturday I planned to stop for dinner on the way. After a horrible traffic jam that tied me up for an hour, when I got to the restaurant I really had to go BAD. So after ordering a wine, into the ladies room I went. Of course I used the pottie in fem fashion. When I exited the stall, there was a nice 40ish gg at the mirror. I stood beside her and patched up my makeup. We murmured a few pleasantries, with no problem. I was seated alone next to a table of 6 retired executive and wife types, who babbled on senslesly, without a word about me. Before leaving, I used the ladies room again. (Water pills are a great impetus!) I was dressed very conservatively, longish black skirt, black and grey tights, long sleeved black sweater, patent low heels, sort of "busy" dangly gold earrings, rings, watch, bangles, and my gray hair is well below my shoulders and wavy, and I had my bangs combed down straight (they could use a trim), and my makeup was pretty good. I honestly believe older girls who present as sort of mature or grandmotherly types have passing so much easier. We don't seem to be much of a threat to anyone.

After Transpit I changed into my shortest black mini and hit the bars, where I had a wonderful time. Only one guy hit on me, and it was a gentle hit. He knew I was a CD. He got a kiss on the cheek for the compliment, but I left alone. He seemed a little disappointed!

[Rikkicn]

Hard to really answer..but ya know sometimes you just pickup a vibe. She seemed to be a bit amused with me but I detected no hostility nor did she seem bothered by me. Just probably thinking it was funny the Tgirl was out at the diner in the early hours I guess.
I would take a guess and say she was probably a lesbian and has seen lots of trannies.
She was acknowledging you with a smile as women often do.

[Melanie R]

Regarding the bathroom issue - last weekend we had our 15th annual Houston TG Unity weekend at the Westchase Hilton Hotel attended by over 200 local TG's and supporters. This was the 7th time at this hotel. Until 2006 our contract with the hotel required that any TG attendees without a Female ID marker use the designated out of order restroom. Our contract for the last two years states, "The Westchase Hilton requires that members of this group are welcomed to use which restroom they are dressed to use. All staff are to refer to the attendees as Ms., Mrsk. Miss, Mam, Mr or Sir according to the individual's clothing. These are valued guests and adhering to these simple requests is mandatory." If we could only have this requirement in more places.

[AshleyLove]

Thanks for the map, Sally! Makes me feel proud to be a Minnesotan! :D

[Kristen Kelly]

I'm not passable! :tongueout Only have progressed to blendable....joking a bit here with ya but honestly like 99% of the Tgirls out there I give off clues that I am a guy. That being said most the time I can go around and not get noticed...but upon close inspection people will read me.

Are you saying I looked like a Stripper that night?? <<giggle>> But yes there are tons of strip clubs here sweetie. Thats one place I probably will never go to as a fem. LOL

My past GF was an exotic dancer and she was working in a club outside of Pittsburgh, walked in as a Guy out as a Girl. One of the best time I had out was Halloween with my ex, only the second time out we went to a Japanese Restaurant she had dressed me up “****ty” and we went out with 5 other dancers and a gay guy friend of ours, wish I had the picture of that table. They knew us in the restaurant for we went there often, after that we went out to a club dancing, I probably drew less attention than the other girls for there was so much cleavage and leg showing people would not have noticed me.

[veronicag48]

[QUOTE=Sally24;807200]Well, the map means there is some laws that specifically protect peoples rights by gender presentation. They are all a little different so you have to check around to find what is included. These might help a little.

Yes the map helped immensely, because tomorrow I'm driving I-40 from OKC to a little town called Flippin, AR. to buy some land and have been toying with the idea of driving CD. Would have to use truckstop or rest area during the 400 mile trip, so will do it in drab for outerwear, but will get dressed once I get to my motel room. Thanks:hugs:

[EmmaJane TS]

Hi,

I have to say (being from the UK - it might be different) I went out for the first time recently and ended up needing to use the bathroom.

I did wait until the coast was clear and then quickly used the ladies in the pub where I was out drinking with friends (all guys BTW so no other friendly girls to go with). I quickly did my business (with my feet pointing the correct way :p ) washed up, checked my makeup and left.

I have to say it was a bit of a thrill to use the ladies for the first time. I think as a CD I've always wondered what went on in there!

Hugs and kisses,

EmmaJ.