Back in "Bloke Mode"

[Sophie Haworth]

Ok here`s the thing.

Following my post last week,

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=5444

and everyones extremely helpful and kind comments, I am now back in bloke mode, Sophie has gone again.

I am very much a part time CD, and have not gleened much on this part of being a CD on here, so I thought I would post questions.

Sophie could be gone for a couple of weeks, or 6 Months, the desire has all but gone. This is not unusual for me and I wondered how others felt, I also wonder if many girls disappear from the forum when back as "Mr Bloke"

From the excitement of the last couple of Saturdays dressing up, and taking the dog out a couple of times back to "Mr Bloke".

I dont mind, I have lived like this for 30 years, I think this is one reason why I have never got involved with CD groups, I would be enthusiastically there one week and perhaps never again.

So now I have to wait until Sophie returns.

I hope this does not sound too depressing.

Here is Sophie before she went.

[Sweet Susan]

Excellent thread, Sophie.

This is a subject that I am sure haunts many of us. What do we do when we find ourselves not desiring to dress? What does it mean? Are we any less crossdressers than others? Does it mean that we aren't dedicated to the cause, if there be a cause? All honest and real questions.

My answer to all of them is no. The thing I've found about being a crossdresser is that for me it is not 24/7. It is not on a schedule. Crossdressing neither calls me or is called upon by me with any regularity.

Crossdressing simply is. It is what it is, and it is that for unknown reasons. All any of us, certainly me, knows, is that crossdressing is undeniable, it happens without warning, and it happens without my consent. It just happens. I embrace it. I love it. And I have found myself not only unable, but unwilling to deny it.

So, Sophie, take your hiatus, and enjoy it. You'll be back. We all always come back.

Susan (Now, ain't I just the sweetest thing, you ever did see?)

[Priscilla1018]

Hi Sophie,

We will miss you while your away and will welcome you back when you are ready.

BIG HUG,
Priscilla

[Holly]

Sophie,

I really do respect you decision. Prime directive, as they say on StarTrek, is be true to yourself. Forcing manifestations of Sophie would be every bit as harmful as repressing those same manifestation when the urge is present. Don't know if this will make any sense to you but for me, I am Holly no matter what is drapped over the body. And adapting this attitude has become easier and easier as time has passed. No matter if dressed in a tuxcedo or a formal gown Holly will always exist. How about you, Sophie? Do you think it's possible that the urge to dress ebbs and flows as we develope our internal identity? What I mean is that as we reach various plateaus in our journey, do we stablize and the external presentation becomes less significant? And when we determine that it's time to reach higher we again seek the comfort of dressing the external to press forward with the internal growth? Just a thought rattling around in my blond head!

I hope that while in "bloke mode" that you will continue to visit here. Shphie is not gone, just resting for awhile. I'd still like to hear from her.

[ChristineRenee]

Hi Sophie,

Like our Holly mom here, with me I am always Christine whether dressed en femme or en drab. I have gone long periods without dressing completely up to include makeup. But Christine is always there because for me it IS who I am. Different for you, obviously, but Sophie will return when the time is right. CD'ing is what it is....not easy to explain, define, or understand....it just is what it is. Sophie is just resting now, but she is always there with you and when you need her most again she will be there once again to comfort you. Just trust your instincts and judgment...you know you better than anyone. In the interim, remember that your sisters here love you and care about you. We will always be here for you when you need us too.;)

Love,
Chrissie:)

[Wendy me]

i would like to just ask this........when she goes away are there any thing or things that happen just before or just after this happens mabey it is a searies of reacuring events that come into play.......for what ever reason she goes away how do you feel when she leaves????while she is gone????before she comes back?????and when she is with you????as it seams to me your him/her sides mabey persent them seleves at times when you might be in need of one or the outher .just my thoughts although it seams that you are allright with this .....still veary intresting....some what of a balance .........

[Maddie Knight]

I also find that if i cd a lot the derire goes away but in my case not for long. I feel I must dress at least one a week if not more otherwise I become very down.
At the moment I have not dressed for 4 days and am starting to get frustrated. :mad:

[stevie h]

hi maddie

i sooooooo know that feeling.


thinking of you


love

stevie


xx

[Sherlyn]

raises hand ..another bloke mode here ..hope it passes ...tried to dress after work tonight ..uh nooooooo : [ ... sophie i sooooo know what your going thru....u want it all day... then come home its gone .... HUH ?????? do u understand ..i don,t ????
Hugs N Love Sherlyn

[Jen_TGCD]

OMG :eek: I wonder if there is some kind of TG Virus going around??? I've got it, too!!!

I haven't really dressed fully in over three months... and it was almost an every day kind of thing, in the past, and always on weekends. Hummmmm... this is strange, for sure.

I'm okay with it... it's not painful or disruptive or anything. Just wondering why I'm not doing what I really love to do... love to be... love to feel!!!

And, Wendy, you won't believe this... I haven't even been shopping... online or in real time!!! :eek: This is the prime SALE season, too!!!

Holly is right, though, I'm always in TG mode... no matter how I'm dressed or what I'm doing. My male and female work well together, now, and that is comforting.

I just don't get it, though. I've had a slump for a week or two... but never this long. It must have something to do with that Bush guy... I haven't been myself since he was re-elected ! ! ! :D :p

[Tristen Cox]

Sophie, good luck to you while you are gone. One thing I've learned here very well though: They always come back ;) *hugs* Take care


Love
Tristen

[Wendy me]

OMG :eek: I wonder if there is some kind of TG Virus going around??? I've got it, too!!!

I haven't really dressed fully in over three months... and it was almost an every day kind of thing, in the past, and always on weekends. Hummmmm... this is strange, for sure.

I'm okay with it... it's not painful or disruptive or anything. Just wondering why I'm not doing what I really love to do... love to be... love to feel!!!

And, Wendy, you won't believe this... I haven't even been shopping... online or in real time!!! :eek: This is the prime SALE season, too!!!

Holly is right, though, I'm always in TG mode... no matter how I'm dressed or what I'm doing. My male and female work well together, now, and that is comforting.

I just don't get it, though. I've had a slump for a week or two... but never this long. It must have something to do with that Bush guy... I haven't been myself since he was re-elected ! ! ! :D :p


ok this is like i mean wow !!!!!!!!!i hop this isen't like a cold or some sickey thingy no dressing, and like omg no shopping :eek: like how does it start?????????

well i realy hope you feel and dress better real soon .........no shopping ?????
i would see a doctor for that .............lost the eurge to shop .....................
now i won't be able to sleep............

[Rui_Bristol]

no i do get this ALL the time.

i go through phases of dressing almost everyday ALL the time, and sometimes not being able to get through the day without putting on a pair of tights and heels or sleeping in a nightie...these periods of time can last for months or even up to a year or so but then its usually followed by me feeling a bit disgusted if anything and then forgetting about crossdressing for months and not touching my clothes until my 'dressing phase' returns.

i dont know whether its something to do with hormones or not...

...also, if i masturbate whilst dressed, i will feel a strong sense of disgust AFTER i have come and take my clothes off quickly.

weird huh

[LindaTS]

Hi Sophie,
I've read of a lot of other girls who have gone through that stage but it's never happened to me so I can't comment on it. I hope you don't actually purge and get rid of all your clothes because that could get very expensive. And we all know that you're a wonderful dresser. I really hope you're not gone too long. I'm sure it's lonely out there. Please come back soon. Bye

[Sophie Haworth]

I must admit, I thougt this thread, would just disappear quickly.

Again it demonstrates the support for each other.

Me having no desires to dress at the moment is not new at all, in fact before I got involed with you all, I thought it was the norm for everyone.

Why do I stop?

Why do I start?

The answer is the same, to both.

I havent got a clue.

I spent the whole of last Saturday as Sophie, got up at 6.30, bath dressed, cleaned house, made dinner, made tea, took dog out watched TV, had supper, trying all kinds of outfits on during the day. Got ready for bed nightdress etc, went to bed as Sophie, got up as Sophie had breakfast, and then felt I had had enough, the desire just started to go.

I do live on my own, and this does mean, I can dress at any time I wish, this may have a bearing, as I know a lot of you do not have that flexibility.

Some may wish `how great it would be to be on my own so I can do what Sophie does`.

But let me add this, I do feel very strongly, that loving relationships with your family and wive/partners are more important than our desires to dress, we can be quite selfish when the desire takes hold.

I have read a few post from those who have come out to wives etc. And for some it works out great, but I reiterate all those who say "take it slowly and do not push it"

There is always the risk of loosing everything we love in order to fulfill our desire.

I know that when Sophie returns, she does pretty much take over and nothing else matters very much.

I hope I am not rambling on too much, but I do worry about those of you whoe may wish to "push it along"

As for Sophie, she is not very far away, her clothes are still in the wardrobe, her shoes are ready to wear, and her clothes smell great.

It is great that we are all so different, I have no idea what it is like to want to wear girls clothes all the time.

Wearing just underwear etc under my drabs, does nothing for me.

It has to be everything undewear, skirts, dresses, nails, makeup rings and jewelry.

At the moment that desire is just not there, it isnt a problem I enjoy both sides of being a CD.

BUT, I do enjoy things more when Sophie is around.

I am staying in contact with the forum because I am a CD and the support we give each other here has been a blessing.

Sophie.

Here are some more photos just to show she is not far away.

[lissa_cd]

Sophie, what a wonderful revelation you posted here. I started by dressing in just what was around and available, I found that I needed more, I needed to dress completely, makeup, wig, lingerie and dresses or skirt/blouse outfits, it was the only way to get that complete feminine experience. I must do this on a limited basis due to a wife who does not know and would not understand but I found that I needed all or nothing, panties or nylons under mens clothes does nothing for me as well...thanks for sharing your views.
Hugs
Melissa

[Jen_TGCD]

well i realy hope you feel and dress better real soon .........no shopping ?????
i would see a doctor for that .............lost the eurge to shop .....................
now i won't be able to sleep............
<laughing...>

You are too cute, Wendy! And thank you for your concern... I'm sure I'll be back in shopping mode very soon!!! :D

[Jen_TGCD]

At the moment that desire is just not there, it isnt a problem I enjoy both sides of being a CD.

BUT, I do enjoy things more when Sophie is around.


That was a great post, Sophie... and I share a lot of your sentiments and concerns.

Glad you are going to be us... we need you!!! http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/images/icons/icon14.gif :)

[Sophie Haworth]

Hi again everone.

Bloke mode over again, Sophie is back in the house, it is very good to see her again, as usual she has taken over and leaving all her clothes and shoes etc all over the house.

It has been about 6 weeks since my last desire to dress, but I have kept in touch with the forum, but strangely while the desire to dress was not there, neither was the desire to post.

We will just have to see what she wants to get up to while she is around.

Sophie.

[Richelle]

Welcome back Sophie.

I just read this thread for the first time. I am much like you. I was just out with Windy last night (see the thread http://crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=7371) and it may be a while before Richelle goes out again.

To be it is not a big deal, Richelle is just another part of my life. However, I will continue to enjoy contributing to this wounderful site.

Richelle

[Wendy me]

welcome back .. good to have you dressing again keep us posted on what she want's..........

[Priscilla1018]

Hi Sophie,

WELCOME HOME! :D

[kristi cd]

I must have missed this the first time, but I know exactly how you feel. The urge for me has been very sporadic at best lately, and when I'm in one of those moods, I pretty much disapear too. :rolleyes: I guess that makes us enjoy the times we do want to get all dolled up even more -- I know I do. ;)

[Dragster]

I have found that since I found this forum, my desire to dress has diminished. It's almost as though the forum's satisfying my "urge" to be involved in the subject that I previously satisfied by getting out the lingerie! It's also possible that having my foot bandaged and being on crutches for the last 4 and the next 6-8 weeks has something to do with it too!

I know you found that your desire to dress and desire to post came at the same time Sophie, but mine seems to be out of phase. Do any of you others feel the same?

Tony