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Ranee Daze
03-31-2007, 11:16 AM
Once again, even though I have had lots of fun and have learned so much about myself through crossdressing I am once again quitting active dressing. The Salvation Army is making money for the helpless selling my shoes and dresses and I feel free, free, free!
It really is tuime in my life to ditch this fetish. So much of my life as a father and lover needs this energy more than my selfish urge to dress up. This is not to say that dressing is gone from my mind, but the active part, the dressing, making up, hair-doos etc. the dangerous part which if discovered would ruin parts of my life is now purged along with that nice "Guess" patent leather purse/backpack and my MAC lashes.
Free at last! free at last!!!!
Now all you naysayers, line up to take a whack! I won't be back!

susie evans
03-31-2007, 11:19 AM
some times a girl just has to take time off ,enjoy

susie

Shelly Preston
03-31-2007, 11:20 AM
Well Ranee

I wish you the best of luck and hope you have a great future :hugs:

You know we will be here should you decide to return at some point

Never Say Never :2c:

Sharon
03-31-2007, 11:24 AM
Now all you naysayers, line up to take a whack! I won't be back!


How many times are you going to say this? You come here saying you are not dressing anymore more than some people dress at all. :p

Whatever you decide, Ranee, just do what makes you happy. It just seems to me that you're just trying to convince yourself and not being honest with what you truly feel. Regardless, good luck to you!

:hugs:

Daintre
03-31-2007, 11:24 AM
Good luck.....See you when I See you.

Holly
03-31-2007, 11:29 AM
Well Ranee, whatever floats your boat. From where I sit, the only person you are kidding is yourself. But in any event, we'll keep the light on for ya!

marie354
03-31-2007, 11:35 AM
I've lost count of the number of times that I've said that and got rid of all my "girlie" stuff.
I haven't purged in about 6 years now and don't plan on doing it ever again.

I've learned that the woman in me will always be there no matter how I dress, so I prefer a dress or skirt most days.

If you can just stop and it doesn't effect your attitudes badly, then so be it. You're much stronger than I have ever been.

I don't want to stop. Ever! Why should I? Because of what someone else says I should be? NOT!

Actually the people that I have let in on my "little secret" are absolutely OK with it. One doesn't want to see it, but we are still good friends.

I'm telling more and more people all the time, and eventually I won't have to hide it at all. (I hope.)

Stephenie S
03-31-2007, 11:40 AM
Well that's interesting.

Participating on a CD forum to anounce that you don't participate.

Yeah, right!

Good luck, sweetie. I wish you Godspeed on your jouney.

Steph

Salina
03-31-2007, 11:50 AM
Renee, I can relate to wanting to quit since I'm on that journey myself right now. My suggestion is to have a plan in place to deal with the urges when they come...and they will. If possible, get yourself a support system of people, even if it's just one who can encourage you and hold you accountable as well. In my case I know that if I'm the only one to be accountable to I'll rationalize my way out of anything. If this is really what you desire be willing to do whatever it takes to make it work...go to any length. I wish you success.

Teresa Amina
03-31-2007, 12:27 PM
You're going to have tons of fun buying new stuff one of these days!

Eva Diva
03-31-2007, 12:32 PM
I just came from a SA store - was that your slit pencil skirt? :D

I hope you got a receipt - the IRS will want to see it when you write off your push-up bras and leather minis.

SabrinaDubh
03-31-2007, 12:39 PM
Ahhhhh yes... the delusion of The Purge.

AERIN
03-31-2007, 12:39 PM
Moderation is the key and that key comes with real maturity.
You will be back!

Barb Valentine
03-31-2007, 01:21 PM
Good luck on your journey
But we will be here if you need us

MJ
03-31-2007, 01:29 PM
i wish you well i hope you can quit, but we will be here for you when you need us , enjoy your time off come back soon

Sue Too
03-31-2007, 01:45 PM
Hi Ranee,

As I said, I've been there and done that. I won't do it again! Yes, everything you say about the downside is true. Nobody ever has said that being a crossdresser is without danger of some kind.

To me the key is to be smart when you play the cards you are delt. I'm sure your intentions are good and right now your plan seems the answer to your concerns. I truly wish you well. My last time I lasted from October to the following April. Geez, it was expensive to rebuild. And that cute little black skirt-----I cant find one to replace it!

As several have said before me, good luck and please remember that we will be here for you should you decide to return. I'm making bets that you will.

Huggs,

Susan

SabrinaDubh
03-31-2007, 03:42 PM
. And that cute little black skirt-----I cant find one to replace it!
That's the worst part of a purge.

During my last purge I lost a pair of Doc Marten mary janes. Made BEFORE DM was sold to Reebok. A one in a million find.

I will never ever purge again. And haven't done so in many many years.

Samantha B L
03-31-2007, 06:52 PM
Hi Ranee,We don't know eachother and maybe I shouldn't be so bold,but the urge to dress will come back again over and over.It doesn't mean that your a pervert or a reprobate.Being a crossdresser doesn't mean that you can't be a good husband and father or that you haven't been so already.I've known for years that I was a CD'r and I've purged several times and I've also done the thing of letting it slide for a long time so I would drift in with the sports, deer hunting and beer drinking crowd and just be "normal" and forget about it.It didn't wash for more than a few days.Being a CD'r is as good a life as anybody could ask for even if some people are hostile about it or think that it's freakish and strange.The life that CD'rs lead beats the hell out of an "average" life even if it is at times real scary and precarious.Good Luck, Ranee.I hope things will be OK.Yours,Samantha

Angie G
03-31-2007, 08:25 PM
Ranee best of luck hun if it don't work you know were we are if it works well have a nice life :hugs:
Angie

Chiana
04-01-2007, 02:29 AM
I have never understood the urge to purge. I might go for a period where I don't dress but I just put the stuff away. Out of sight out of mind. But when the girl comes back, I don't have to spend a fortune to play again.

I also don't understand why you would go to a site like this to announce that you aren't going to dress anymore. If you want to quit, just quit. We don't need to know that little bit of information. Seems like you are trying to entice a negative response.

KewTnCurvy GG
04-01-2007, 03:40 AM
Huh, haven't seen this before.
The question that looms in my mind is why can't someone's dressing be balanced and just be a part of who they are. It seems there are many who manage this way.
As for the infamous death-knell post of Pffffffffft, there, I'm leaving; I can't help but chuckle a little.
Kew

noname
04-01-2007, 04:08 AM
The question that looms in my mind is why can't someone's dressing be balanced and just be a part of who they are. It seems there are many who manage this way.
Kew

I agree with Kew, the key here is balance. I believe some here may purge as a result of going femm overload. ( I believe a result of a lifetime denied all things femm ) You don't have to get of anything, nor do you have to wear lashes. It's ok to just have everyday womens clothes.

I respect your decision, and I hope you've made the right choice. Just remember, you need to be yourself, it is your life, and I don't recommend living it for others.

Tina B.
04-01-2007, 09:34 AM
Girls Please, if she needs to quit then we should support her! And really dear quiting is easy, I know, I have done it dozens of times!
Tina B.

Michelia
04-01-2007, 10:42 AM
Thanks for letting us know and coming to bid farewell.

CD'ing affects everyone's life differently. Some of us do not feel that much pressure. I know I have struggled to balance it with the rest of my life and I may not be around this site as much as I would like.

Good luck with your decision. Even if you may be back again. That is OK. Go for it if it is what you think you have to do. Good luck.

And when and if you are ready to come back, please do. Do not feel as if we do not want you.

Michelia

JennaKnots
04-01-2007, 10:24 PM
So much of my life as a father and lover needs this energy more than my selfish urge to dress up. [/QUOTE]

I've been thinking this very thought lately.
The strange thing is, is if my SO were into it, I probably wouldn't even ever be questioning any of it.

So, I guess that tells me that there's nothing wrong with the act itself. I'd like to not be so obsessive about it, but right now that doesn't seem to be in the cards. It's back and forth between "what aM I doing?" to "I can't wait to do it again".

Sometimes I have a judgement about others in this respect and I realize it's because I'm one of them and I'm really judging myself. Sometimes I wish I never had the urge because it would be easier and sometimes I think of what an incredible creative expression it is. As an artist, I love to continue to try to pursue a realistic feminine look (even if I do look like an f*&% doll as someone said here before).

I wouldn't presume to guess what you'll do in the future. I can only say I identify with how you feel and I hope we both find a way to be happy with whatever decisions we make.

Melinda G
04-01-2007, 10:28 PM
You'll be back. It's like being in the mob. Nobody gets out. :D

susiej
04-01-2007, 10:46 PM
"(I realized) a few things about my CDing and most important was the fact that if I managed it well, as in allowing myself to go out maybe three times a year but extremely well done up for a well planned outing, my fantasy life would harm no one at all and give me a wonderful release that golfing or shooting hoops just won't match. ... I think that you should try this as I have. It has given me joy and peace. Remember what Popeye sez....'I yam whats I yam!'"

Ranee,

That was you in November, 2005. Things change, people change, of course, and sometimes the change is permanent, but as others have pointed out in this thread, sometimes it isn't. I wish you all the luck in the world. Our way is harder -- er, bad choice of words :) -- more difficult than the straight way, so if you are successful, you have admiration, and a blessing, from all of us here.

If you have truly gotten over us in six months ("out of the relationship", as the therapists say) you should be able to come back and tell us how great it is. Do that, as we will be thinking of you.

Hugs,
Susie

ashlee chiffon
04-02-2007, 12:12 AM
:bonk: ...

works whenever i get crazy ideas like quitting....

Diana West
04-02-2007, 08:18 AM
Enjoy.

No recriminations, no "whacking."

Just enjoy.

JulieC
04-02-2007, 12:40 PM
Renee, I suspect you might be viewing the words of the posters on this thread as sirens, calling you back against the rocks on which your ship of self assuredness in not crossdressing will founder.

We're not the sirens. You are.

I'm quite sure that millions of men have tried to do exactly as you are doing now. You despise this little secret, are afraid of the ramifications of being found out, find it virtually irresistable and then in a moment of strength declare yourself to be emancipated, free forever from the bonds of your inner self.

It doesn't work that way.

Even having a support group, you will fail. I don't say this as some kind of siren, but with knowledge that nobody...not one person...has ever been successful in purging and keeping it that way. It might be a week, a month, or five years. But, sometime somewhere you are going to 'fail' and find yourself dressed in women's clothes. It will happen. Count on it.

In the meantime, you could be pushing yourself towards an unhealthy mental state. Attempting to repress this can cause you to become inwardly angry, and lash out at loved ones around you. Sometimes it can be hard to readily associate this anger with the lack of crossdressing. Even if you somehow (beyond all real life results) manage to keep this repressed forever, you will still be wrestling with this in one form or another.

As a good test of how successful you might be in repressing the urge to crossdress, try not using your left hand for three days. At all. Imagine your left hand is completely missing. I'll lay very good odds you can't do it. It's part of you. Same goes for crossdressing.

I don't wish you good luck in your attempt, because I think what you are doing is unhealthy. Instead, I wish you health.

diane59
04-02-2007, 01:02 PM
You'll be back. It's like being in the mob. Nobody gets out. :D

See you soon!

MFStoo
04-02-2007, 01:18 PM
Ranee,
We all question our priorities on a regular basis and then need to make decisions. Some can be very difficult to make. Do what's right for you..
I got away from actively dressing for quite some time due to family demands.. and returned when the situation allowed it.
Whatever your future holds, we can all expect, you will remain a kindred sprit who recognizes us for who we are, and not the threat to society as some would claim...

May all your dreams come true :hugs:
Gina

Ruth
04-02-2007, 03:51 PM
I have to agree with those who say it's not really possible to quit. CDing isn't a nasty habit, it's not a sickness, it's a characteristic that you have. You can suppress it, but as has already been said, that can be harmful both psychologically and physically.
We don't all necessarily enjoy the fact that we are CDers all of the time, but it's there and it isn't going to go away, so the trick is to integrate it into your life. And the equation is different for each of us.

Ranee Daze
04-02-2007, 04:03 PM
I'll stir the stew and say that just a few of you are in denial wrt the notion of quitting active dressing as I have. Note I said "active dressing". So I've purged the access to excess of my wardrobe and makeup. I won't deny that the notion is still in my mind. I've just got so many better things to do with my time and money now.
My dressing always has had a very strong sexual element to it and I wonder if those who responded as they did to my first post wouldn't mind responding yet again as to the level of sexual element in their dressing. Something tells me different needs or motivations would create different replies.
As far as the denialists, well more than a few of you were downright negative and a touch nasty towards me....how feminine of you to show such understanding and support. NOT.. I guess it is true that a pig in a dress is still a pig.
Finally to those who honestly have offered goodwill and support, thankyou all.
I am not missing it...it was getting to be a drag anyway..

Daintre
04-02-2007, 04:12 PM
I see you are on line so, I re-read your post and I think i understand now.....you have gotten rid of the clothes, and now rely on this forum as the outlet for your dressing. You must have read all the responses and I see you haven't replied to any of them, I think this is a bit unfair to all of us.....go or stay, the choice is yours, but please don't try and use others to satisfy your urges. I am sure if you PM an administrator they will delete your profile.

Karren H
04-02-2007, 04:17 PM
Well I didn't respond to your "I'm out of here thread"..... So let me be the first to welcome you back!! Hehe

Love Karren

DonnaT
04-02-2007, 04:45 PM
Well, you did ask them to take a whack Ranee.



Now all you naysayers, line up to take a whack! I won't be back!

Two days and you're back. Or did you mean you wouldn't be back to dressing enfemme.

Best of luck with that. Really! I do mean it. Wish I could have quit when I quit several times. Not that it bothers me, but it does bother my wife.

And no, it's not sexual, its because of being transgendered. So, maybe that's why I can't quit.

As for someone quitting when it's ALL sexual, I don't know if it is just as hard to stop. I imagine it is. It probably takes some a good bit of time to retrain the mind to be aroused by something else instead.

Julie York
04-02-2007, 04:49 PM
I know what you mean.

I have spent 5 minutes typing this reply. I read it ,edited it, and rewrote it and it was still crap so I deleted it.

The gist was something like...

erm....yeah I know what you mean and good luck.



:thumbsup:

Wendy me
04-02-2007, 04:54 PM
well good luck with giving up dressing there is only on cure that works... stop living anything short of that won't work...

for me my dressing is not sexual ... it's abought me being me and it can be fully dressed or just one item .... again good luck......

MJ
04-02-2007, 04:55 PM
as i said i do wish you well, i hope you can quit. but i have never met one who has can i be honest i quit when i got married it lasted two years and came back with a vengeance , so i am not being mean just honest please enjoy your time off we will be here when you come back :love:

carla smith
04-02-2007, 05:01 PM
copied from an earlier post....

"The inclusion of the female (crossdressing) effects a change in the male personality, producing a new personality that is better than either alone. The female empowers and transforms the male. This stage is ongoing. The new self continues to grow--presumably in the direction of greater spirituality and service to others.
It is consistent with the anima theory that the urge to crossdress may diminish during these later stages. The crossdresser now understands that it was not the clothing or being a woman that he sought--these merely symbolized the deeper aspects of his personality he sought to express. Once he experiences and expresses these aspects directly, female clothing itself has less meaning and importance."

It depends on the individual... some of us must move on.

Still checking in on ya....love you all!

"Carla"

Eva Diva
04-02-2007, 06:20 PM
As someone who goes back to Usenet group days, just my :2c:


Classic troll behavior. Make a statement intended to provoke, let people respond, and then come back as victim. As we used to say back then - the pre-historic 1990s - lather, rinse, repeat. Don't go so far as to be put on people's sh*t-can list, but stir it up, and keep returning to the same subject.

Sharon
04-02-2007, 06:38 PM
I won't be back!

No comment.

Kieron Andrew
04-02-2007, 07:11 PM
How many times are you going to say this? You come here saying you are not dressing anymore more than some people dress at all. :p

Whatever you decide, Ranee, just do what makes you happy. It just seems to me that you're just trying to convince yourself and not being honest with what you truly feel. Regardless, good luck to you!

:hugs:


Well Ranee, whatever floats your boat. From where I sit, the only person you are kidding is yourself. But in any event, we'll keep the light on for ya!


You'll be back. It's like being in the mob. Nobody gets out. :D


See you soon!


Well I didn't respond to your "I'm out of here thread"..... So let me be the first to welcome you back!! Hehe

Love Karren


No comment.
enuff said i believe! :D

Paulacder
04-02-2007, 07:28 PM
Ben There, Done that, And said the same thing. But it's reall expensive when you have to by more cloths to replace the ones you gave away.:D

sandra-leigh
04-02-2007, 08:22 PM
I am once again quitting active dressing.

Which timezone is Ranee Daze in? The posting shows as 09:16 March 31 to me -- wonder if it was already April 1 where Ranee was? :)

sandcastle
04-02-2007, 09:13 PM
I've purged twice in my time.

I don't regret losing the first lot of clothes (they weren't very good), but wish I still had the B&W photos of a much younger Sandra.

I started again fairly soon after getting my own house.

The second purge was not of my making (that's another story!), and I deeply wish I still had some of the nicer pieces. Fortunately, I kept my photos separate.

I'm slowly building myself a third collection (in the loft).

Sandra the hoarder.

Ranee Daze
04-03-2007, 12:31 PM
The point is simple and many have missed it entirely. I do not intend to crossdress again. It may be in my mind still for a long time, but I won't be going out as Ranee again. Read ladies, read, instead of reading what you want to see.

Sharon
04-03-2007, 12:41 PM
No more trolling is to be done in this thread.:Angry3: