Marital status

[Jill]

I'm just curious about the marital status of those who dress, mostly about those who are divorced. I want to know how many divorces are related to dressing and how many aren't. Thanks.

[AERIN]

Married 37 years and came out to my wife 10 years ago. It was a struggle, we are still together. These days my desire to dress has fallen off some and as I look back over the years passed with all I obsessed over I just have to laugh. I see you all following along the same road knowing the road will eventually come to an end, so have fun with it while it lasts and don't do anything stupid. The biggest mistake I have seen and experienced are those who take themselves so seriously and we have a few here. It's all aprt of the trip. Have fun!
Today I dress strictly for fun upon an occasion. I still love to sing enfemme but I can also sing en drab too. I have watched too many gurls plunge down that road of SRS only to regret it.
The whole world doesn't need to know about you.

[michelleupnorth]

I think my split up was more because of no love left. No it is nice to be who I want to be but if it had anything to do with my divorce it was such a small percentage that I can't put a vote for it.

[aka.laura]

Married since 1980 (same girl :hugs:) came out about 23-24-years ago, still going strong...

[Ruth]

There again another interesting question would be how many of the married CDs are out to their wives.

[linnea]

I am currently married, my second marriage. My first ended after almost thirty years for non-dressing reasons. My first wife did not know; neither does my second wife.

[Pippilotta]

I seriously doubt - seen in relation to what married women often are willing to put up with - that crossdressing as such would cause a divorce. The rather frequent mention here of "ultimatum" rather seems to indicate that entirely different factors here are at work.

[Kristen Kelly]

My ex-wife found out after our divorce, we went through a nasty 3 years of fighting, with no kids involved, she said she only wish she had known then , she said she would have had me by the:censor:

[franvonceder]

I've been married for over 30 years and am still in the closet.

Fran.

[Jill]

I'm seeing a few people who marked "other" and I guess I'm not quite sure what I missed?

[bobbijo]

I've been married for 37 years, my wife has known and supportive for 36 years.

[Sharon]

I'm seeing a few people who marked "other" and I guess I'm not quite sure what I missed?

Widowed, for one.

[Andrea Nicole]

Jill,
I'm a widower.
What about you .. .you started this and didn't give info about yourself.
Andi ....

[Daintre]

Question for you Jill, what is your status, you didn't say

[Jill]

Oh, right, sorry. I am never married.

[Keyplayer74]

I'm still married.. been with the same woman since 1996. She has no idea I like to dress. I don't know what her reaction would be if she found out but it terrifies me.

-- KP

[sandra-leigh]

I'm seeing a few people who marked "other" and I guess I'm not quite sure what I missed?

In Canada, "Civil Union" implies that formal papers were filed with a government registrar, and that official who signed the paper was not doing so as part of a religious ceremony in which the official was a registered minister of the religion.
That is, a religious ceremony might have taken place, but the person who signed the paper wasn't not someone authorized to form unions in that religion. Or there might have been no religious ceremony at all -- there might have been a non-religious wedding ceremony. Or there might have been no ceremony at all and the couple might have just gone and signed pieces of paper at City Hall or any notary or anyone else authorized to sign the papers (e.g., a bookstore owner who registered with the government)

In Canada, "Married" includes having the papers signed by a religious official as part of a religious ceremony (e.g., "a church wedding"... or a Zen sky-diving ceremony... or as part of a Satanist Black Mass...). Canadian semantics: religious ceremony performed by authorized religious person is not a Civil Union.
But, in Canada, "Married" includes Civil Unions as well as religious unions. And in Canada, "Married" includes Common-Law, which kicks in after 1 year for federal tax purposes and after 2 years for provincial tax purposes (sooner if there is a child of the union.) As best I can recall, in Canada there is no legal difference between Common Law and signing formal papers. Incidently, that applies to same-sex couples as well: the legal cleanups to clear out the last (unconstituational) laws against same-sex marriage formally specified that there shall be no difference between the two, so after 1 year, same sex couples have the same divorce problems that hetrosexual couples do.

Since Canada includes those three forms of marriage (formal legal, formal religious, informal and automatic with time), anyone who distinguishes (as the poll did) between "Married" and "Civil Union" is not using the word "Married" in the same sense it is used in Canada. As the most common understanding of Married vs Civil Union has to do with religious ceremonies, and I did not go through any religious ceremony nor any formal legal one, I figured that for the purposes of the poll, I would be classified as "Other", as I fall into the third class of Married, namely Common-Law.

[Eva Diva]

In the US, all marriage is secular. The religious ceremony is just for show. You have to get your papers from city hall. A minister may be able to marry, but they must be certified by the state, so your distinction between religious and secular marriage doesn't hold for us.
Civil union is a category that has been created for gay people. Many of the benefits of marriage, but falls short. The federal government and many states do not recognize civil unions as marriage in any sense.
Of course, we also have common law marriage, although the different state deal with it in their own ways.

[sandra-leigh]

[QUOTE=Eva Diva;809693]In the US, all marriage is secular. The religious ceremony is just for show. You have to get your papers from city hall. A minister may be able to marry, but they must be certified by the state, so your distinction between religious and secular marriage doesn't hold for us. /QUOTE]

In Canada, you don't have to get your papers from city hall: the civil and religious marriage people carry copies of the forms. As long as the forms are signed by the bride and groom and by someone authorized to perform marriages and by one witness (or was it two?), the legalities are satisfied.

If I recall correctly (and I might be misremembering), in Canada, nearly anyone can apply to the government for permission to perform marriages (there's probably a criminal records check or something like that), but that official religions are (I think!) authorized to designate their own people authorized to perform marriages. The people authorized by religion register with the government (probably), but do not have to be approved by the government as would be the case for civil ceremonies. Possibly the distinction I am drawing existed at one time but no longer does; I'm not sure.

But really, what I was describing was Canadian semantics: what do people mean when they say "married" in Canada? And in Canadian semantics, people might say "Civil Union" to describe a wedding that didn't have a religious tie, but they would never use "Civil Union" if there was a religious tie. "Married" semantically includes "Civil Union" here, but "Civil Union" does not include "religous marriage" here.
Mind you, about the only people who use "Civil Union" are the ones who are trying to get gay marriage repealled in law: the argument usually goes "Reserve the word 'marriage' for hetrosexual; to address the equal rights issue, let homosexual couples have "Civil Unions" that have the same legal standing as 'marriage' but are not {I]called[/I] 'marriage'." Scratch the surface, though, and those people are a festering mass of contradictions: "A same-sex couple cannot be 'married' because 'married' only applies when the couple can reproduce and same-sex couples cannot reproduce!" Oh yeah? So why do we let 90-year olds marry then?

The phrase used in Canada for an official marriage that doesn't have a religious tie is "civil ceremony".

[joann07]

Never married either.

[SandyR]

Married, 23 years! Out of the closet and very supported (execpt maybe for the shaved legs).

Hugs.

SandyR

[Paula G]

Been married for almost 20 years. My wife found out last year about my dressing and is OK with it right now.

[Lori SC]

Married 28 years, and my wife only found out about my CDing two years ago. She's supportive. I can go out, and do, as long as it's 50 miles from home.

Lori

[Josephine 1941]

Was married 30 yrs wife new from the get go she even would buy cloths with me. Come the divorce she brings it up, bad move on her part can not be used. My lawyer hit her right between the eyes with credit card bills of buying cloths together . So then it was every thing else even 9/11 she still lost I was a house husband, she had to pay me. Some of us do win. I now have a girl friend that loves me dress an we go out together.

[Kikacd]

Married twice, first wife did not know and I didn't do much in those years. Dressing had nothing to do with our divorce. Second wife and my love for 18yrs has known for 15yrs. She was willing to play kinky and I started to wear her panties and she liked how I looked in them. I have expanded over the years. I bought my first set of silicone breast forms last month. Love them...

Kika

[Glenda58]

Widower for 9 years wife knew but didn't like it until just before she passed.

[Rachel75]

Never married, and I am starting to suspect that my crossdressing may be a big reason for that.

[Charleen]

Widowed. Was married 30 years and closeted.

[Mistybtm]

Married for 16 years then divorced non CD related
we are real good friends again and see each other from time to time.
Mistybtm

[Bonnie D]

Married for almost 28 years. I have recently come out to my wife. We will be separating and then divorcing somewhere down the road. It's not the dressing so much as my wanting to be with a man. She's not throwing me out, I have to leave in order to be my true self.

Bonnie

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

I'm engaged so I guess that would make me 'other' - plus, I just like being different. 'Other' just suits me in so many ways...

[ElleCD]

Married for 27 years. Have not come out. Not likely to of my own free will.

[JC]

my wife and i have been together for 33 years. she has known of my playing dress up since late last fall. thanks od for her!!!

jc

[Felix]

My split with my Ex was not for crossdressing but we won't go into that!! I have been with Yachica 6yrs now and that would in the eyes of the law make us common law. She has known I like mens clothes since we got together really and she used to buy me them in the first year or so of our relationship. She knew about me although she said nothing really until halloween two years ago when she said I was jealous of our friend who was dressing FtM and had come out as trans. I couldn't deny it. Since then she has been very supportive of me and I love her very much xx Felix :hugs:

[RobertaFermina]

I had a 14 year monogamous (and faithfully so!) relationship with my daughter's mother.

The relationship broke up and there was a custody battle.

That is Marriage and Divorce in my book.

I am going to learn how to be part of a successful relationship before I try that again! Feels like I am almost there. Howeve the kid is/(says she is) moving out, and I will enjoy my freedom for awhile.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[jessie_cal]

I've been married to a wonderful lady for 5 years. She knew of my dressing before we married. Now I can't leave because she has pictures and my familie's email addresses. I think that makes me her b****. :D

[Dixie]

My wife and I will be married 18 years this July! she has known about my dressing since before we were married. She thought it was all her idea until about 10 yers ago when I confessed to her that I had done it several times before she suggested it. We got quite a laugh out of it. She bought my the sexiest stockings and the most wickedly long eyelashes for Chisrtmas.:D

[Carin]

one marriage, 24 years going strong with Rainbownine GG (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/member.php?u=41037)
She has known for 12 years. It has been an up and down road but we are now planning a committment ceremony in a couple of months between Carin and Louise. Picked out an outfit (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=55805) to wear for that ceremony today.

[sasha29]

My marriage is ending after 10 years together.
It is over because of transgender issues and lying about them.

I lied so many times about dressing up and it was because I was ashamed. I now embrace this side of myself and look forward to the road it is taking me on.
I have thought about SRS for many years. Who knows...maybe it is finally time. HRT is my next move. My only worry is my soon to be x-wife will not permit me to see my kids. I have two.

Sasha

[Angie G]

I'm married come July 39 years been out to my wife almost 2 years
She is about 95% OK with it :hugs:
Angie

[Tracy Lynn]

My wife knows and we are still very, happily married.

[Wendy me]

i have been married for 25 years my wife knows abought my dressing but dose not care to know .... as far as my dressing having a reason to end our Marriage ..... i think we have been through a lot worse than my getting all dressed up in womans clothing .......so i could not believe that that could happen..........

[chris80]

been with my wife since 1964, married 1968, dropped jokey hints that were not taken up . I disclosed to her in 1980: better that my secret be crossdressing than another woman, and she has enjoyed it ever since. I dress at home whenever and we go away for weekends to tranny do's. She enjoys the opportunity to get dressed up in the posh frocks herself.

[karen marie]

very happily married.she knew when we were
dating,she has always been very accepting.
hugs,karen.

[Glenda]

My wife divorced me after 23 years. Crossdressing had nothing to do with it at all. I did not even discover that side of me until after I had been divorced for several years. We're still friends, agree on most everything but have some differences which just make us incompatible as a couple I suppose. To tell the truth, I never understood why. Still don't.

The truth about women is that there are many truths. Some want and expect total honesty. The worst thing you can do is lie to or cheat on them. One strike and your out. Others just don't want to know. Whatever you do is OK as long as I don't hear about it. That doesn't mean they don't know. They just don't want to hear it. Most women are like crossdressers. They are somewhere along that continuum. Figuring out where is often a challenge.

More than half of marriages end in divorce. Can you believe that? Now that is a problem in our society. Crossdressing will be the reason in some divorces. It will be a contributing factor in others. It will be dirt to be thrown in your face in others even though it had no ill consequences during the marriage. And it won't be even mentioned in a precious few divorces.

But there will be divorces. More divorces than marriages. So my advice to both myself and the rest of you is to try to be open and honest as much as possible. Some can't for obvious reasons. Some can except for their own fears. It is hard enough to make a good marriage work in our society. It is that much more difficult when any secret or illicit activities are involved.

[Dixie]

Secrets will kill a marriage, My wife and I try to be Honest with each other so we know that we can trust each other if there is ever another "person" we will be together when and if it happens. Nothing behind each others back!

[julie w]

married for 20years she knew but didnt want to be involved still friends
no messey divorce , with my gf for six years dont live together she has never been married we both like our own space she knows but wont see me dressed
I would like to be married again but only to a women that would be totally ok with me dressing and go to tg events with me and when on vacations let
us spend a day as two women ,I think it is just a dream for me to meet this
person ,

[Dixie]

I must be livin' the dream then, don't give up women like that are out there.:2c:

[nicensilkey]

I have been married three times. The first wife didn't know but when she found my stash of clothes her shrink told her it was nothing to worry about. She only brought it up when she got mad at me and called me a pervert. Fortunately, it was a non issue when we were divorced after 25 years, not connected to crossdressing. I made sure to tell the second wife before we were married. She was ok with it but admitted that she didn't know how much I was into it. "I can't believe all those catalogs." Unfortunately, she passed away after only seven years of happy marriage. Again, I made sure to tell wife number three before our marriage. She also can't understand my preoccupation with dressing but is accepting of my foibles. I tell her that I also don't understand my need of it but I accept myself the way I am. I mainly dress when she is out of the house because I don't want to push her nose into it. This marriage is the best of all. I am one lucky dude.

[Lovely Rita]

Great to see how we are beating the national averages. Last count in the USA that is, 50 percent of most marriages ended in divorce. I am glad to see we are beating that number by a lot.

Great!!!!

[cdmich]

Married for 36 years. Wife is accepting and supports with help in buying clotes, etc. Just need to find a way to agree on going out.