Impersonating

[GACountrygal]

Hey Yall

Well..this is sort of a different nature post. I really want everyones input on this, MtF. FtM and GG's.

This has been something Me and My SO have talked about a few times, but only covered in depth once. I just want some more input from everyone, and with the variety of people here, I think this is a good place.

I know that there is pressure for GG's to dress up more, look nice, wear make-up and fancy clothes. I see it here on the site, as well as out in the world. I even know my SO would like me to dress nicer, and I understand that.

My problem with that is I dont feel comfortable gettin *Fancy* so to speak. When I do, I feel like an imposter. Heck it even goes as far as when Im driving the car and not my truck. Wierd isnt it?

My personality is laid back country. It also goes into how I dress which is just a "leg" of my personality. Everything around me is just an extension of my personality.

I guess what I'm tryin to say is that *dressing-up* (basically anything but jeans and casual fitted shirts) for me makes me feel like a Fraud! As if Im tryin to be someone I am not. It also draws attention to me, which I dont like. I feel like people are staring at me (and have caught some people doin so) and I get embarrassed. It also makes me feel vulnerable, and I HATE feeling like that. I dont like showing weakness.

Does anyone else feel like this? Have and of yall been able to become more comfortable goin outside your comfort zone?

Can anyone relate?

Thanks yall for listening.
Nic

[Karren H]

Nope!!! I don't feel like a fraud.. I feel like its just another mode.. Like dressing up for church... I usually wear old jeans and a tee-shirt in male mode around the house... Sports coat and slacks, tie at work in the office... Dirty old mining gear when I have to go underground.... Really smelly ice hockey gear when I play twice a week... And skirts and dresses mainly when I go out enfemme!! They all represent different facets of me... And that's how I treat them!!

Guess if I had to wear something completely different and foreign I could do that... Wouldn't mind trying a Burka, a Sari and a Nuns Habit..... And at least for me its fun.... Being someone or something that your not normally.... Not being a fake..... Think of it as halloween all year round if you like!! Trick or Treat!! Hehe

Love Karren

[tommi]

I thought all country girls wear Daisy duke shorts and shirts, only joking
I grew up in Nw PA farming and most of the gg I knew growing up didn't overly
dress and still don't other than for work purposes. At the same point in time
I like it if my wife dresses nice for me on occasions, sometimes it takes going
someplace fancy to achieve it but I think it's worth while to see her look her
best.
You shouldn't feel like a fraud when dressed you should feel like the special
kind of person you are.:hugs:
tommi

[trannie T]

The only "nice" clothes I have are women's clothes. I feel as awkward in a suit and tie as you do in a dress. My motivation for wearing a dress is much different than yours, you dress to look nice and please your SO, I dress to fulfil an inner need.

[Kate Simmons]

I guess my reason to dress is different than most. Actually Nic, it's always a choice for me totally, whether I'm being Rich in work clothes, jeans and a tee shirt or a dress suit and tie or Sal in a nice dress, tank top & shorts, tee & jeans. I don't feel a need or coerced to dress in any certain way in either mode and just dress how I feel at the time and never feel like I'm "impersonating" because it's always me. I would never presume to impose any of my standards on others either. I guess you would say my motto is:"If it makes you happy and yourself, wear it and if it doesn't, don't." After all, the clothes don't make the person, the person makes the clothes, no matter who you are.:happy: Sal BTW, If I ever open my private investigator business I'm studying for, it's going to be like a "Remington Steele" deal. Rich will be the owner, front man and PR guy and Sal will do all the work in the "field".

[kerrianna]

I think everyone should be allowed and feel free to dress the way they want. I've always thought that - it's caused conflict in work environments for me because I've always refused to wear a tie. I like to dress comfortably and functionally for the most part.

As far as crossdressing, for me I like wearing things that are pretty and fancy, mainly because I don't get to do that very often, and also it brings out my femme side more quickly. If I was a GG I doubt I'd dress as nice everyday, maybe once in awhile for a special occasion, but I think I'm mainly a creature of comfort and would make sure I dressed comfortable first. But I know going outside the comfort zone is a useful excercise and one I hope to practice a bit more.

Most people probably feel like imposters, or actors, of a sort when they 'fancy' it up. But then again...all the world's a stage.... :happy:

[Brianna Lovely]

But I think that I understand how you feel. I'll just have to express my feelings from my perceptions as a Gay-TG person.

I just read a sex survey that was taken by a local paper last month. One of the interesting things was that 67% of the Gay men, would not "date" a CD.

I feel "wrong" dressing in male clothes, I'm not comfortable. Do I do makeup? Yes, because I don't have the natural beauty of the average woman. I have to put on foundation to cover my beard shadow, then liquid makeup to even my skin tone, then translucent powder, to cut down the shine, and finally, a lipstick that won't stand out too much. Many younger woman can throw on some lip-gloss and they're out the door.

Every time I go out "dressed", I know I'll be "read", if for no other reason then, I'm the only person wearing a skirt. But I don't let other peoples opinions bother me. I like skirts.

You feel "out of your element" if you can't dress the way you're used to. I feel the same way, but because, I'm dressing the way I'm most comfortable. I often go out semi-dressed, (no forms or wig) but all other fem accouterments, clothing, jewelry, nails done, light lipstick and mascara.

You'll just have to be who you are CG, and enjoy life.
Warm Hugs

[CaptLex]

I guess what I'm tryin to say is that *dressing-up* (basically anything but jeans and casual fitted shirts) for me makes me feel like a Fraud! As if Im tryin to be someone I am not. It also draws attention to me, which I dont like. I feel like people are staring at me (and have caught some people doin so) and I get embarrassed. It also makes me feel vulnerable, and I HATE feeling like that. I dont like showing weakness.

Does anyone else feel like this? Have and of yall been able to become more comfortable goin outside your comfort zone? Can anyone relate?
Howdy, Nic:

Good question - and thanks for including everyone. When I was younger I would approach wearing fancy female garb as if it were a costume (like for a play or something), and that made it easier to wear - even fun sometimes. As I got older, though, that just wasn't doing it for me anymore. I couldn't wear a skirt, dress or heels now for all the chocolate in Hershey (yes, I would definitely feel like a fraud - and unattractive), but I can still wear some articles of clothing that I bought in the women's department - because they don't look like women's clothes and because they fit better than some of the equivalent articles from the men's department.

On the other hand, while I like to wear both casual and dressy men's stuff, I enjoy the dressy stuff more. I just want to look sharp and classy - like James Bond in his tux. You could argue that this is more of a costume, but it fits the inside me to a T, so that makes me happy and doesn't make me feel like a fraud. Hope that made sense. :happy:

[Toyah]

I am prety sure that a lot of the CDs here would not dress if clothes made for women were functional and did not fit and were made of drab materials for me I adore sensual fabrics that fit in all the right places and cling to the body

[noname]

I'm usually in a jeans a t-shirt. I do like shorts though, I'm usually a very casual person.

But... I do like to style it up. When I do, I feel like a rock star.

[arani5879]

I enjoy dressing up Definitly more as a girl then as a guy. I just love formal dresses anyways. I love going to formal events everyone always looks hot in formal wear its just a rule of nature(well as long as you dont clash colors horribly then you just look good and not hot) Really its all about image ( I may have a slightly off interpretation of this but my grandfather and uncle both are fantasic sales men and one of the few positive male influences in my life my other uncle builds cars and races them how that has anything to do with image is that if the car doesn't look like much your going to make more money racing) If you walk into a store in scrubs you will get a totally different reaction then if you walk in wearing a suit. And now that I am to this point I forgot what my original point was so I will end this quickly. You shouldn't feel like a fraud dressed up regardless of upbringing. Its all about confidence if you act like you own the place upon walking in no one will ever question you. Its all about image and really the clothes are just an acessory to your confidence.

[Phoebe Reece]

I've done a pretty good bit of stage acting over the years. To me, dressing up and going out in the world is a lot like stepping out in character on a stage. Sometimes, I have a few butterflies in the stomach when taking that first step onto the stage with the curtain open. But, once I am in character and performing for my audience, I get perfectly relaxed and into the role. For me, dressing and going out is just acting on a much bigger stage for a much bigger audience. I know I am a guy dressed as a woman and many times my "audience" knows that as well. Fortunately, most of the time my "audience" gets caught up in the illusion and interacts with me as if I really am a woman. If nothing else, I provide a little entertainment for those that see me.

[TxKimberly]

Here's my two cents.
Most CD's here (MTF and FTM) have been pressured all of their lives to conform to what everyone says we should be. Obviously those of us here have chosen to ignore this to varying degrees.
Now YOU are also feeling pressured to conform - wear the nice clothes, do the makeup, walk on stilts, etc.
My recommendation? Do what a lot of us here are doing and tell yourself "to hell with that, it aint me"!
As to feeling like an impersonator or imposter! The few times I have worn a male suit and tie, I felt like a pretender. The few times in my adult life that I've been dragged to church, dressed in a tie, I've felt like a pretender. Going out the door as Kim I don't feel that way. Isn't that odd?
Kim

[GACountrygal]

I really appreciate yalls input. It has given me lots to think of.

Thanks for takin the time to read my post!

Lookin forward to more input!!

Nic

[Holly]

Nic, perhaps you have gained an insight into our world as cross dressers. Many of us do not feel natural when dressed in the garb associated with our gender of birth and feel like frauds. Why? I've been doing this for more years than you've been alive and I still don't have and answer. Fortunately, answers seem less urgent today than even a few years ago. Sometimes things just are and there is no reason.

As for you other question about feeling more comfortable going outside the comfort zone, sure I think so. Next month I'll be wearing a tux at my daughter's wedding. It will make her happy. Given my druthers, I'd rather be shopping for a dress as my wife is. I kidded my daughter about looking for a father-of-the-bride dress... let's just say that she was less than amused. But one thing that I have noticed is that the more accepting I am of my cross dressing nature, the more at ease I am as a whole person... dressed male or female. Does that make sense?

[Charleen]

Just do my own thing. Rarely need to get prettied up. Off work, blouse, jeans or shorts, sneaks, all fem. I only get fancy when there is a need.

[Joy Carter]

When Mom took me to J C Penny's to get school clothes, I would always try to get a peak at the girls things. Talk about feeling like a fraud. :o

[Wenda]

.:happy: Sal BTW, If I ever open my private investigator business I'm studying for, it's going to be like a "Remington Steele" deal. Rich will be the owner, front man and PR guy and Sal will do all the work in the "field".[/QUOTE]

Oh OH!!! Are you going to wear the INCREDIBLE Emma Peale leather!?!?!? Send Pics!!!

[Wenda]

Hi GA!, I can't say I ever feel like a fraud, like Flip Wilson's CD character Geraldine would say, "What you see is what you get!" I think there is more to that statement than 'meets the eye'. The only times I have gone out completely dressed was with people who knew who I was, and enjoyed the fact that I was dressed. I have gone out hundreds of times 'underdressed', ie with breastforms and bra under my workshirt, but for me that isn't fraudulent, it is my little secret. My GF enjoys shopping for lingerie with me, holding up items for my approval, only the two of us knowing they are for me, not her.
Within the bounds of safety and common sense, you have to dress according to how you feel. No fraud there. All the best. w.

[MJ]

I guess what I'm tryin to say is that *dressing-up* (basically anything but jeans and casual fitted shirts) for me makes me feel like a Fraud! As if Im tryin to be someone I am not. It also draws attention to me, which I dont like. I feel like people are staring at me (and have caught some people doin so) and I get embarrassed. It also makes me feel vulnerable, and I HATE feeling like that. I dont like showing weakness.

Does anyone else feel like this? Have and of yall been able to become more comfortable goin outside your comfort zone?

Nic

all the time even when i try to " blend in " as in jeans and a comfy top i feel vulnerable... as i feel that i am getting the look * as in being read *
but i also feel that if i don't do my very best to pass i still feel like a fraud

quote :- I HATE feeling like that. I don't like showing weakness.

i understand that as i feel that way to often

[danielle_from_cal]

As a male at work I wear clothes that cost more than the average car. This is what I feel normal in. If I wore jeans to work or to a meeting, I would feel uncomfortable.

As a female, I like fashions that are more "down to earth". Although I like pretty skirts and jewelry, the most important parts (on the outside) are nice slacks and a nice top. I can afford anything I want, and I prefer to dress in casual (but pretty) pants and sweaters. You do not have to dress like a model from Paris to feel pretty. And, no matter what you wear, make sure you feel right in the fashions you choose. (If you go en femme to a black tie affair, wear what is appropriate for that, but otherwise dress for you. Everyone will respect you more for that.)

[arani5879]

You do not have to dress like a model from Paris to feel pretty.

Very true though I bet it would be fun. It will be a long time before I could afford clothes like that, but I can imagine. Anyways its not the price of the clothes that matters its how you look in them.

[linnea]

Nope!!! I don't feel like a fraud.. I feel like its just another mode.. Like dressing up for church... I usually wear old jeans and a tee-shirt in male mode around the house... Sports coat and slacks, tie at work in the office... Dirty old mining gear when I have to go underground.... Really smelly ice hockey gear when I play twice a week... And skirts and dresses mainly when I go out enfemme!! They all represent different facets of me... And that's how I treat them!!

Karren has said it for me, pretty much as I feel it too. I don't feel like a fraud; I just think of it as representing one of the many facets of my being. I've often thought of Walt Whitman's lines from "Song of Myself" in this regard: "Do I contradict myself? Very well, I contradict myself; I am large. I contain multitudes."

[RobertaFermina]

I feel like a fraud at least once on each outing. Once "Roberta" inhabits and animates me, that discomfort vanishes.

Prior to going out, I do my best at Fraud, so I don't look like a Fraud.

'If I don't look "better" than a GG, I look like a man in a dress.' True or not, this is what I tell myself.

I believe I need striking clothes and striking makeup to create an image that will fascinate an onlooker, and take away the desire to inspect more closely.

I don't judge GGs for "dressing down" compared to my habits.

I started out fancy, and am working my way toward casual through a new selection of pants and blouses. I'm also toying with the concept of "less makeup."

I want to creat a credible look that is as relaxed as GGs choose.

For now, the pants I am choosing do not include jeans....but I'm going that way, eventually.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

[DawnRodgers]

Kind of interesting to hear from the "othe side". I would dress, always, as the occassion called for. As a man, I wear jeams or shorts with a T-shirt or tank top when I am hanging around the house or running errands. Something not requiring getting dressed up. When required to dress I enjoy wearing good clothes e.g. a sharp current suit, shirt and tie and just totally enjoy admiring comments and glances. Like wise when en femme, I enjoy casual clothes, shorts or jeans, casual blouse when hanging out in an informal situation but always dress sharper when the situarion calls for it - e.g. nylons, skirt, better blouse, heels, full makeup when going out and about in a more formal situation. Also lookibg for those same admiring glances.
Just like looking good, knowing I look good and being looked at because I am attractive in male or female mode.

[Suzie S.]

Nic, I think I understand where you're coming from. Putting cding aside, I feel the same way about my clothes. I'm a jeans and tee shirt type of guy. My idea of being dressed up to go out is putting on jeans with no holes! I work in construction, so it's boots and jeans also. I have a couple suits, and my wife thinks I look sharp and sexy in them. Problem is I only wear them for weddings/funerals. I feel out of place in a suit, just like you with your clothes. My suit is out of my comfort zone, just like a dress for you.

But since I understand the attraction my wife has for me to be dressed up, I will occasionally put on slacks, tie, and sports coat for a special occasion. I do it for her. :happy: I guess us men are in the same boat as women on this issue. You have the right to wear what's comfortable for you. But every now and then it's nice to just get a bit dressy for your SO, even for a few hours. :D

[Tamera]

Dress how you feel!
Many girls are a "JEANS GIRL" like me.
I'll dress up if I go clubbing but thats usually it.
Also there are many girls driving trucks nowadays so that is not necessarily the manly thing anymore.

Also I feel that GG's not always dress to attract a males attention but to compete with their competition.

LOL
Tamera

[Theresa(TGirl)]

I've had that feeling of being an "imposter" when, in those rare occurances, I am forced to dress up for something (Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc.)

I'm guessing that since you feel more comfortable one way, but am being forced to be something else, naturally your mind is thinking to itself "Who is this person?"

Hopefully that came accross right.

[Carin]

I guess what I'm tryin to say is that *dressing-up* (basically anything but jeans and casual fitted shirts) for me makes me feel like a Fraud! As if Im tryin to be someone I am not. It ...

Does anyone else feel like this? Have and of yall been able to become more comfortable goin outside your comfort zone?

Can anyone relate?

Thanks yall for listening.
Nic

Stick with your comfort zone Nic. The rest of us spend years searching for our own comfort zone.

Feeling like a fraud is one part of why my SO and I are a bit more open and less secretive about my CD'ing now. We don't like secrets.

Dress to impress if you are going on a Job interview. The rest of the time, dress for yourself.
:2c:

[Victoria Anne]

fraud,imposter....only when and rare it is that I must wear a suit and tie, I'm t-shirt and jeans in drab but as Victoria it is casual but I would jump at the opportunity to dress to the nines, dressed as Victoria is ..well as Karren put it,its a part of me so therefore I am being myself and I say dress for you and to h#%& with what anyone else thinks,be yourself. I wear ear rings and underdress evryday and have on many a day worn womens tops and jeans to work and not once ha anyone said anything allthough the otherday a boss called said "get up put your ear rings on and get in "I strangely enjoyed that.

[erickka]

I am a jeans and t shirt guy, but when en femme, I still like denim. Lots of denim skirts, casual shirts,moderate heels, but I do like to dress to the nines in really nice pumps, skirts, silk blouses,etc. I just feel that it expresses my moods at the time, and I feel it expresses the WHOLE ME. Just do what feels right to you.

[marie354]

I've been hiding behind "Sam the man" most of my life, so I guess that that's the time I feel like a fraud. Now that "Sandy the girl" is coming out more & more, I feel more real than I ever have before.