Should I tell my mom on me?

[Gisele]

I am at wits end. I really want to tell my mother about myself. I am 40 years old and I still feel like she will ground me if she wants too. Funny though she is in CA and I am in KY. :tongueout

I come so close at times when talking to her on the phone. I want to tell her in person but I have not seen her for about 4 years now. She is working all of the time and cant come here and I will not fly.......oooooooNO...this girl is grounded!!! No up in the air for me!!

Now, back to the topic. I want to tell her because I feel like she wanted a daughter. She raised me for most of my younger years and then my father got me in my early teens. (the divorce was not a bad one) I wanted to stay in my school and my mother got a great job in SC and so my father moved into our old house with me so I could stay.

She raised me kind of like a girl but didn't dress me up and all. It was just the way she taught me things. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc... Taught me how to shop. She took me into all of the places she loved. I would spend hours shopping with her for girl clothes for her. At that time I didn't know about CDing and have tried on my cousins panties and dresses when at my grandmothers but didn't know better. It was not sexual cause I was way too young for that. Anyway, I loved shopping with her and could buy her anything when shopping for a gift for her. I got her size right 100% of the time.:happy:
She and I have a great relationship as mother and son but I think it could be better if she know. She wants to move back to OH or KY soon.

As for my father........no way in hell I will tell him!(you know its the guy thing)
I am worried though that she may think that he should know more about his son and tell him. They still talk on a off on the phone. He lives about an hour away from me. So that is one reason I don't want to tell her but I feel like she should know about me. I am so confused.

The only person in my life that knows is my fiance and she is the only family that I have that knows. I want to come out some and I think my mother would be the best choice. Am I wrong?

OH, I am a only child too. (that has some bearing on my thoughs)

Sorry for that long post but it may help me figure out what to do.

Thanks for being there my friends!:love:

Love you all, Beth

[AllieSF]

It is so wonderful that you have such a close relationship with your mother. I recommend that you somehow arrange to tell her in person for several reasons. One, is that big news is much better delivered in person. Second, you can see her reaction and help her calm down and/or better understand when you think she needs your words. Third, by being with you, you are not playing hit and run. You are there for her, to still love her and support her and now you are asking for her support. Maybe you could pay her airfare out to visit you for a week or a long weekend. Good luck.

[DawnL]

Beth,
You sound like you have a great relationship with your mom. I agree that it should be in person. First I am sure that she will have a million questions for you and that could be a long phone call. I also live in your part of the country (mid TN) and am aware of the macho attitude popular around here. If you decide to tell your mom just make sure that it is with the understanding that Dad doesn't ever find out. I am sure she would be aware of your dad's feelings on this.
Good luck with it. We'll be praying for you.

[Gisele]

I have decided not to tell her yet. I will have to wait for the chance to see her face to face. I will be chewing my nails till then though.

We do have a great relationship and will always be tight. I just feel that I am in the wrong for not telling her.:(

I know I will make her sign a stack of legal papers against her on telling my father after I tell her!:devil: LOL

Thanks for the advice girls.:hugs:

Beth

[gennee]

Tell her when you think the time is right. Telling her face to face is a great idea. Telling my wife that I dress was something I wanted to do. I'm so happy that I did. She doesn't totally approve, but she doesn't stop me from dressing.

Gennee

:happy:

[Kristen Marie]

Beth, those are such cute pictures that you might consider showing her them sometime. Tell her you have tried dressing for fun....enjoyed the cooking and laundry lessons over the years...wondered what it would have been like if you had been a daughter rather than a son etc. Might be an interesting discussion. Maybe a door opener.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Beth, you are a beautiful woman and you have a good relationship with your mom so if it feels right I would go for it. I almost wish that i was in your position because it sounds like you might get a positive reaction from your mom. My situation is quite differant since I am the oldest of seven and everyone has always looked to me for advice and support both financially and emotionally. Good luck!!!

[paulaN]

How about a bus trip to Ca. It's been four years since you have seen her. I think it's time you paid her a long awaited and well deserved visit. Not a surprise visit though. I keep thinking of the song where the guy takes a plane trip and ends up in Fla as a girl. I can't remember the name for the life of me right now. Any way go see her I bet you two will have a great time.

[Gina_darling]

I told my mother about a month ago. She's still not fully accepted it but has said she would never have reacted negatively. In fact she has shown some support by getting me a wig as a belated birthday present and given me some make-up. I think you should tell your mother, she will come to accept it out of love for you, however don't rush. I have shown my mum pictures of me but not been dressed in front of her as I still think she is not quite ready for that.

Good luck!

Gina xx

[TxKimberly]

. . . are obviously two different people, but all I can say is that I told my mother about 4 years ago when I was about 37 and she was way cool about it. About the only thing she asked is why I hadn't told her when I was young.
Also much like yourself, I will not tell my step dad. He is he-man material and would not like it at all. I know this because I have a TS cousin and he goes off on a rant everytime she is mentioned.
Kim

[MJ]

i feel that life is too short, if you have a close relationship with your mom then you should tell her , don't leave too long please talk to her while you still can

[Lori SC]

Beth,

Why do you want to tell your Mother? What is the reason you should tell her? How is it going to improve anything?

If you haven't seen her for 4 years, it's not like she is going to drop in on you unexpected. :heehee:

Normally, I advocate telling close family. Part of the reason is because people tend to see close family often. Telling family/friends on your terms is better than them finding out by accident. I don't see how your mother could possibly find out about you, unless you tell her.

I think you should go see your mother! It's immaterial whether you tell her. You just need to visit. Everyone of us will pass someday. Some very unexpectedly. There are many people who regret not visiting parents more often, after it is too late. Do not be one of them.:hugs:

Hugs, Lori

[linnea]

"Now, back to the topic. I want to tell her because I feel like she wanted a daughter. She raised me for most of my younger years and then my father got me in my early teens. (the divorce was not a bad one) I wanted to stay in my school and my mother got a great job in SC and so my father moved into our old house with me so I could stay.

She raised me kind of like a girl but didn't dress me up and all. It was just the way she taught me things. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc... Taught me how to shop. She took me into all of the places she loved. I would spend hours shopping with her for girl clothes for her. At that time I didn't know about CDing and have tried on my cousins panties and dresses when at my grandmothers but didn't know better. It was not sexual cause I was way too young for that. Anyway, I loved shopping with her and could buy her anything when shopping for a gift for her. I got her size right 100% of the time.
She and I have a great relationship as mother and son but I think it could be better if she know. She wants to move back to OH or KY soon. "

Hi Beth,
As one who wishes that she had told her mother, I would really encourage you to do it. My mother died about fifteen years ago, and I have been wishing ever since that I had told her before she died. Like your mother, my mother seemed to have wanted a daughter--she told me so on a number of occasions. She stopped short of saying that she wished that I had been a girl, but when I was in elementary school, she always bought girl's underwear for me (just panties, until I started junior high), and on several occasions she took me into department store dressing rooms with her to have me try on girl's clothes that she had selected from the racks. She never dressed me completely as a girl, but she taught me a lot of traditionally girlie things, cooking, sewing, various kinds of house work, etc. When I was pre-school age and in elementary school, she usually took me--but not my older brother--shopping with her. When she went shopping for clothes, I would sift through the racks of skirts and dresses, blouses and other tops, and sometimes lingerie and foundations with her. She would frequently ask my opinion of her selections and watch as she changed from outfit to outfit.
I think that she may have known that I tried on her clothes when I was living at home and that I crossdressed with my own clothes after I was on my own, but we never talked about it.
As I said, I wish that I had talked with her about it. Good luck with your decision.

[MaxineF]

I remember my Mom had a pic of me dressed up in her dresser drawer for years. To this day I am buggered if I know where she got it from.

Maxine

[keena]

I am a very old CD in age and in the "hobby". I am also totally buried in my little closet. The ONLY one who ever knew was my dear (now departed) wife. I have many kids and grandkids. I'm afraid to tell them, the older ones are very intolerant of people who are sexually different. My worry is, what will happen when I die and leave a closet full of fem things. My memory will be ruined. should I purge and get out of the "hobby" while I still can?

[janetcd2]

Tell your mom in person when you feel its right, My mom knew for years and was very accepting even took me shopping.

For the older gentleman As for the kids they will think the cloths are from your departed wife and you could not bear to part with them

Janet

[Gisele]

Hi all, Everyone has great points.

I just feel like she should know about me. I hate keeping things from my parents now (not when I was young:heehee: ) But, my dad I will keep it from him.

I want to tell her soon but cant right now cause she is going through a rough time with her work and not going out at all. She really wants to move back to KY and is job hunting for something around here. She is having a hard time due to her age. She works in the computer field right now.

I would love to go out and see her but our funds are just not there even for a bus trip out. I think the only thing that would bring her back home short of a great job right now is if my grandmother passed away (which I would not drop the news on her then) or if something happened to me or Jenn.

keena, I would not purge. If I were you look for a CD group in your area and make friends with someone. Gain their trust and vice versa. Then when you feel good about them let them be a "cleaner" for you if some thing happend to you. You could be the same for them too. Just a thought.

Thanks for the great advice and I will keep reading and doing much soul searching.:hugs:

[Kelly,R]

Hello Beth3...the thought of a cleaner?Now thats a great idea!!because I have often wondered that myself.Thanks

[Laura Jane]

She raised me kind of like a girl but didn't dress me up and all. It was just the way she taught me things. Cooking, cleaning, laundry, etc... Taught me how to shop. She took me into all of the places she loved. I would spend hours shopping with her for girl clothes for her. I am worried though that she may think that he should know more about his son and tell him. They still talk on a off on the phone. He lives about an hour away from me. So that is one reason I don't want to tell her but I feel like she should know about me. I am so confused.

I'd be a little careful how you phrase how you came to be interested in cross dressing, the above could be read as being your mums fault and she may feel guilty about!

But good luck with it all but do not leave it the why you are telling her and what you expect her to do with this new knowledge!

[Gisele]

I'd be a little careful how you phrase how you came to be interested in cross dressing, the above could be read as being your mums fault and she may feel guilty about!

But good luck with it all but do not leave it the why you are telling her and what you expect her to do with this new knowledge!

Yea, I thought of that too. I would hate for her to think it was her fault. All in all I know she taught me fem things (from a male point of view) so that I can stand on my own two feet if I needed to. Heck, my grandfather taught me how to tear down a small block Ford using my teeth. Hey I'm still a guy when I need to be.:devil:

I will let her know that it was in no way her doing and it was my choice.

[racquel]

Have you considered telling her in a letter?That way she can absorb it in her own time and she can speak or write to you about it.That's how I told my parents many,many years ago.I dress in front of Mom and we have a great relationship.
You look lovely and I have no doubt she will be proud of you.That's the way Mom's are :hugs: