20 Questions from a new Tgirl

[5inchHeels]

At the ripe age of 24 I've accepted myself as transgendered. Now I just have lots of questions. Some questions I can answer myself, but would still love to see your responses, and others I'm in need of Tgirl advice.

1) What do you sacrifice to dress?
I feel like my relationship with my SO would be much easier were I not to dress. I also give up the the benefits of fitting society's view of normalcy.

2) How important is your feminine persona and appearance? How important is your masculine persona and appearance? Which takes priority?
Right now, I default to masculine and given the choice of being male or female I would choose male. I love my masculine side, but also feel the need to maintain it or see my world come crashing down. I think that I will equally love my feminine side, but I have yet to fully explore it.

3) How has your dressing and/or sexuality changed since you accepted yourself as transgendered?
I can see myself moving along the transgendered spectrum. It started as repressed masterbation fantasies, progressed to dressing only in panties (more masturbation), progressed to wearing full outfits (more masturbation), and now I'm working on a fully feminine persona while dressed (and lots more masturbation). I've also seen my sexuality slide from strictly hetero to nearly pansexual.

4) Are Tgirls more sexual than the average joe?
I am.

5) How do I thin my eyebrows and get away with it?

6) Are fake eye lashes a must?
I've been told that MAC lashes can't be beat.

7) What's the best razor? How do I prevent razor burn?

8) What kind of foundation will cover stubble?

9) Would telling close friends (guys) be a horrible mistake?

10) Should I shave my arms too?

11) If you workout, do you workout to maintain a masculine physique or a feminine one?
I'm a former runner and have always had a petite build, the irony is that I'm now trying to put on muscle but still want to look sexy as a girl.

12) I have big feet, size 11/12, are there brick and mortar stores that sell heels in large sizes?

13) Is it worth the looks to get a pedicure?

14) Stereotype yourself: Do you have a type A or B personality when not dressed?
I lean towards A, but like to think I have some balance. Is there a correlation between dressing and personality type?

15) What's the one piece of clothing you can't live without?

16) What are the best fake breasts? Balloons filled with pudding? Stockings filled with bird seed?

17) Best bra for a TGirl?

18) Is it better to try and impersonate a female voice or just talk normally when dressed en femme?

19) For those of you not married what is your ideal romantic situation? An accepting girlfriend? A diverse sexual life? Accepting friends and family? If you're married, does your wife support your habits? If she doesn't, is it worth it anyway?
This one confuses me. I have a great girlfriend, but I know that she isn't fully comfortable with my dressing. I love her, but selfishly think that their could be someone that enjoys my Tgirl side. She's done everything she can to understand me, but I know that dressing still upsets her at times. I understand that being in a relationship is all about communication and compromise, and I don't want her to be the only one compromising. I'm torn between what I feel is a selfish desire and my love for a girl who is doing everything she can to understand my quirks.

20) What questions did you have when you first started dressing?

That's a lot for a first post and I more than appreciate answers to any of the questions.

Background
Since this was my first post I'll give a little background info for those of you who are interested. I grew up in Pennsylvania in a conservative househould with conservative values. I remember raiding my mother's closet when I was 12 or 13, but stopped dressing by the time I was in 10th grade. I dated girls, finished high school, went to college, yadda yadda. I never allowed myself to think that I could be transgendered until recently. In retrospect it seems ridiculous, normal guys aren't turned on by TGirls and don't masterbate to high heels, but alas I didn't catch on. Now that I've started working and have a bit more private space the panties have started to collect and favorite bottles of nail polish have had to be replaced so it's been harder to ignore.

This past week has finally tipped the scales. My girlfriend said that she help me dress this coming weekend so she could become more comfortable around me when dressed. I decided I needed to get a respectable wig for the weekend so I went online to order something. I noticed that wigs.com had a salon based in Dallas, which happens to be where I'm located this week (I'm usually in DC). I sucked it up, and against my gf's advice called the Salon and set an appointment. I told Carol, the owner, that I needed a female wig and she energetically said, "That's great!" To make a long story short, I had a tremendous experience with Carol and spent well over an hour trying on just about every wig in the store. Carol and I laughed and talked about everything from her days living in Europe to what kind of skirt I should wear this weekend. It was an amazing experience and the first time I've felt truly comfortable being myself.

So here I am, asking lots of questions and sharing my life with crossdressers.com. :tongueout

PS: First advice to new TGirls, buy a wig in person! You really need to try on a lot of styles until you find one that matches your face and brings out your femininity (plus a salon will style it for you!). Secondly, if you're in the Dallas area and need a wig, go visit Carol. I promise you won't be disappointed. The address is at the bottom of wigs.com.

[flatlander_48]

Dude, slow down...

[Talon DeRojo]

Welcome to our family! You are fortunate to have a girlfriend who is more than OK with your femme side. Thanks for sharing. Hope to see you here in the days and weeks to come.
Talon:happy:

[5inchHeels]

Dude, slow down...

I suppose that did come out in one massive gush. :D

[Stephenie S]

Whew!

I don't have the time or the energy to even begin to try and answer all your questions. Most of us wonder many of the same things ourselves. Answers will come with time. Take it easy, girl. Try asking just ONE of your questions. You may get more response.

Lovies,
Steph

[Charleen]

Welcome! You're at the right place. The answer to your question are here. All of them. Start reading the various threads and posts. Relax and enjoy.
Love and xxxx, Lily

[MJ]

welcome to the forum, i am a 1 finger typist i will have your answers done by morning :D

[vbcdgrl]

Hi, Heels! Welcome to the forum. Wow! what a first post. I'll try to answer some of the questions based on my own experiences.
5. eyebrows. My body hair is very light color so my brows are almost invisible. I just thin 'em with a nose hair trimmer..no one notices.
6. I don't use fake lashes, my own are full enough, although I have to use a lot of mascara to make 'em visible
7. I use a Gillette Mach 3 on my face, both femme and drab. I use those disposable razors on most of my body. I use an old Norelco rotary electric shaver with an improvised handle on my back. The first time is gonna be tough, you're gonna get razor burn and possibly ingrown hairs and a rash. You can use some shaving cream I guess. I shave my entire body, including legs, back, chest and arms, once a week. If your body hair is fairly long, trim it as short as possible with scissors or clippers before shaving.
10. Yes, underarms too (this is a particularly sensitive area)
12. Your gonna wear a size 13 women's, I think Payless has some.
13. Panties
16. Silicone breast forms are by far the best.
18. I use the high range of my own voice and speak softly.

Vikki

[danielle_from_cal]

Here are my answers to (opinions with respect to) a few of your questions.

5) How do I thin my eyebrows and get away with it?
I used to worry about this, then I just started plucking them to the shape I wanted. I applied the shape with an eyebrow pencil and got rid of the rest. Nobody notices. Go ahead and do this one. Make your eyebrows as pretty as you want.


10) Should I shave my arms too?
You can do this. It’s another one of those things that nobody will likely notice. If you just want to thin your hair out on your arms (after all, GGs still have some hair on their arms) try using a fabric shaver. Rub it around until you have the amount of hair you want. It sounds silly, but it works very well.

11) If you workout, do you workout to maintain a masculine physique or a feminine one?
I'm a former runner and have always had a petite build, the irony is that I'm now trying to put on muscle but still want to look sexy as a girl.
I am very careful to not get too masculine. I workout for health, not for muscle. Running is a great activity, but do a bit of anaerobic exercise (like weight training) to keep your heart strong.

13) Is it worth the looks to get a pedicure?
Yes, but you can do it yourself if you want to take the time.

16) What are the best fake breasts? Balloons filled with pudding? Stockings filled with bird seed?
Go with Pals. They have lots of types. Get the triangles. The size depends on your preference. http://supergelproducts.com/ (http://supergelproducts.com/) Click on “breast enhancers” in the link. They are wonderful. I cannot imagine anything being better than real breasts.

20) What questions did you have when you first started dressing?
Am I gay? Other than that: “Where does mom keep her bras?”

[psion128]

Welcome to the forum. I'm fairly new also. Browse the topics here and some of your questions will be answered. Some will not. But, yah...that was one giant post.

psion128

[Danielle_oc_ca]

1) What do you sacrifice to dress?
All the money for the clothes and make up.

2) How important is your feminine persona and appearance? How important is your masculine persona and appearance? Which takes priority?
I default to slightly male androgenous when working and slightly on the female side otherwise, except when I go femm all the way. My masculine persona and appearence is of little importance to me. I wear my hair past my shoulders, generally in a pony tail and dyed blond. I will go to work having not shaved for two days, to prep for electrolysis, with my half cleared face and no one has said a word about it. But then, I do live in LA and I just tell people I have "Gone Hollywood". As for the growing breasts, I tell them I have a weird hormonal imbalance. I just don't say I am paying to have the imbalance.

3) How has your dressing and/or sexuality changed since you accepted yourself as transgendered?
While I felt that was since I was 5, I only came out when I was 51 years old. I am 55 now. I dress 100% in female clothing. I just wear "mannish" women's clothing when I want people to assume I am male. However, I get called ma'am now and them even when I don't try any more.

4) Are Tgirls more sexual than the average joe?
I'm not. I have been celibate since the divorce in 1999 (it was not over cross dressing) and I remain so.

5) How do I thin my eyebrows and get away with it? Electric nose hair trimmer. And I just do it and have not said a thing to anyone. Now, its been long enough, no one remembers me with bigger eyebrows. By the way, "long enough" seemed to be about 3 days.

6) Are fake eye lashes a must?
No.

7) What's the best razor? How do I prevent razor burn? I just use the same stuff I used to shave my face.

8) What kind of foundation will cover stubble? Almost none. Shave better. You need to use a fresh blade almost every time you go out fully en-femme. However, I found one that works well, and stays on better, is is the oil based stick from www.rmlcosmetics.com.

9) Would telling close friends (guys) be a horrible mistake? It has not been for me so far. My two best friends have been very accepting. Mind you, one is bi and is a sponsor of the Gay Pride Festival in Vancouver BC and the other used to work with me in the 70s installing sound systems in gay clubs.

10) Should I shave my arms too? Absolutely. Under arms too. No one will notice.

11) If you workout, do you workout to maintain a masculine physique or a feminine one?
I am afraid you should not have big biceps. So run or bike to stay in shape.

12) I have big feet, size 11/12, are there brick and mortar stores that sell heels in large sizes? Not many. Countessa's Closet on Ventura Blvd. in Studio City is one though. See www.countessascloset.com.

13) Is it worth the looks to get a pedicure? Yes if you have slightly ugly toe nails. If they are really ugly, wear closed toe shoes.

14) Stereotype yourself: Do you have a type A or B personality when not dressed?
I used to be about in between but since I came out I am closer to a B now.

15) What's the one piece of clothing you can't live without? I have so much, a 12' closet full, nothing is indispensible.

16) What are the best fake breasts? I used to use Busties. Now that I have an A cup I just add a couple shoulder pads I cut out of dresses, into the bra. WHich is another point. You likelyhave bigger shoulders than a gg. Remove the shoulder pads from anything you wear that has them.

17) Best bra for a TGirl? I don't like under wires. So almost anything without an underwire.

18) Is it better to try and impersonate a female voice or just talk normally when dressed en femme? I talk at the higher end of my male voice. A female voice is only 1/2 octave higher than a guys voice. They just use it differently. A male speaks from both the top and bottom of the voice box. Women speak generally with only the top. Practice talking with a finger at the bottom of the voicebox. When you can stop using the botton half you are half way there. The rest is in varying you tome a lot more and a lot of the time in putting an upward lilt at the end of sentences. Avoid monotone male talking style. Practice into a tape recorder.

19) For those of you not married what is your ideal romantic situation? I'd be OK with a well to do trannie chaser. One that owns a house in Encino or Sherman Oaks.

20) What questions did you have when you first started dressing? Can I get away with this? When I first decided to come out I had a makeover done at a place in West Hollywood. I learned a lot and they did a great job. I went shopping and passed great. So I have not looked back since.

And the picture is me, with my own hair.

Danielle

[susandrea]

In addition to reading every post this forum has EVER HAD!!!!! (you really are cute!), go to Amazon.com and search under "crossdressing".

You'll see loads of books about the subject-- every day how-to's from experts, the psychology behind it, relationship issues... pretty much everything.

Each book is reviewed and even has a section where other readers chime in with their opinions as well, so you can get a pretty good idea what may be of interest to you.

You can also find lot's of stuff on the net, like:

http://www.glbtq.com/social-sciences/cross_dressing_ssh.html

and

http://www.hno.harvard.edu/gazette/2003/07.17/18-crossdressing.html

and

http://www.gpac.org/archive/news/notitle.html?cmd=view&archive=news&msgnum=0339

Good luck, and I sincerely hope you will always enjoy your gift of being transgendered. :thumbsup:

[Super Amanda]

Wow... Ive, as I'm sure most of us have, had most of these same questions. I didn't have internet access until a few years ago, I wish I had because Ive learned just about everything on my own. Now make up I learned by observing my ex, she was very good with the make up. Most of your questions can be either answered here, or just by doing internet searches. Ive found that I personally have great luck just treating my body exactly like a GG does. And they are all different. So there is gonna be some trial and error.


Now we have to deal with our faces differently. I have black, thick and coarse facial hair, which sucks cuz i gotta shave every single time I want to look half decent. Alot of people will tell you not to shave up on your face. This is very, very tricky to pull off without hurting your skin. I have finally mastered this. First of all you must use a nearly flawless razor. I use a gillete fusion 4 blade vibrating jobber. The blades are dang expensive, but it will give you a mirror smooth face( for like 3 hours if you are like me..!).But thats only part of the trick. The real miracle is the product I use. Its called Bump Patrol, and I got it at Walgreens. Thats a drug store if there ain't one of them near you. You can use it anywhere an your body, but Ive only tried it on my face. I have had absolutely zero razor burn after using it. It works in 2 days max. It has something to do with aspirin, as it warns against allergies to it. This applies to all shaving for me. And I use the blade for my face only for my face. That way it lasts longer. The last step to smooth, bump less skin is to ex-foliate very time you shower (at least once a day).



I highly recommend eyebrow shaping. I think nothing fems up your face like thin brows. It is also the most noticeable thing a CDer can do above even shaved legs and arms. People wont really say anything, but those who know you will notice. My brows were like two fuzzy black caterpillars, about to kiss, on my face, then I tried to be discreet and do little by little, but got carried away and well, just read my thread about being confused for a girl, while in guy mode. They are really girlie, and I work in a friggin warehouse with mostly guys. But they don't seem to give a crap, why should they right? You're not tweezing them are you? And you will love what it does for your fem look, trust me. Just be careful, because I find it a bit difficult to get them exactly the same, but if you look real close at GGs, you will notice the same thing, they dont always match perfectly. "But thats what pencils are for, silly Amanda!" you say? Not in guy mode.


Anyway good luck and do get lots of different opinions and see what is consistent and what is bs. What works for one might not work for another, this is true with all humans. Be careful with your SO, mine was not accepting, and my hiding killed our relationship. Honesty is key, its cliche ,but true.

[5inchHeels]

vbcd - Payless is a good idea, I didn't realized they carried sizes that large.

Danielle Cal - Thanks for link, and my mom's bras were easy to find!

Danielle OC- thanks for taking the time to respond to all my questions! Your answers help me gain perspective.

Susandrea - Great links ... how does a GG end up on crossdressers.com?

Amanda - I'll be picking up some bump control this evening ... and also going to town on my eyebrows. I live with three roommates, the first test will be if they notice!

[Diana West]

This post is great.
Sure, some of these are answered in other posts but having it all in one is great.
Now for some of my answers.
1) What do you sacrifice to dress?
Time. It takes me lots of time ro dress and undress.

4) Are Tgirls more sexual than the average joe?
I think so.

6) Are fake eye lashes a must?
No. They are mascaras that build up your lashes.

10) Should I shave my arms too?
I shave my hands and fingers, but not my arms. Weird, I know.

12) I have big feet, size 11/12, are there brick and mortar stores that sell heels in large sizes?
Payless. And from what I've read, they're CD friendly so you can try the shoes on in the store.

18) Is it better to try and impersonate a female voice or just talk normally when dressed en femme?
I've found a couple of websites to help develop the feminine voice.
www.exceptionalvoice.com/transgender.html
www.deepstealth.com

20) What questions did you have when you first started dressing?
What size do I wear in women's clothes?
How do I apply make-up?
Do I have to be submissive or gay to continue to dress?

Hope it helps as much as your posting helps others.

[Laura Jane]

5) How do I thin my eyebrows and get away with it?
I used to worry about this, then I just started plucking them to the shape I wanted. I applied the shape with an eyebrow pencil and got rid of the rest. Nobody notices. Go ahead and do this one. Make your eyebrows as pretty as you want.

I wouldn't be so sure. I guy I worked with who had no idea that I crossed dressed casually remarked while we were away on a business trip that the concierge at the hotel plucked his eyebrows and was probably a crossdresser or a thespian!

[Kate Simmons]

It's been a long time since I've played 20 questions, don't know if my brain can handle all of that. I will say this, however. The answers to most of your questions will come from trial and error and experience until you find out what works best for you. While there are plenty of suggestions, there is no substitute for actually doing it yourself and it's a lot more fun really.:happy:

[Butterfly Bill]

I can't answer them all because some of them don't apply to me, but here are some:

1. Being able to work in a job with heavy customer interaction. But I work construction and other blue collar stuff with no dress codes.

2. I am a man in a dress, and proud, and I choose clothes that make my male body look good.

3. I still like girls so much I want to be able to be like them and do some of the things they do.


These two statements might seem contradictory, but they don't have to be. I am pansexual, not transsexual. I don't want to leave one side for the other, I want to embrace both.

7. Use an electric razor designed for men. You can sit on a dry chair in a well lit place, and go over places you missed. Get one with a sideburn trimmer for the really long ones. No cuts or burns.

9. You can find out who your friends really are

10. Only if you are Neanderthal-hairy.

11. Rather than work out, I work on ... houses, automobiles, lawns... I do lots of manual labor with clearly defined purposes. I find repetitive motions that lead to no other purpose beyond just exercise unfulfilling and boring.

12. Pay Less Shoes, Nordstrom, some, but not all, Wal-Marts.

14. I'm usually more B, but can turn A if I feel pressured enough. I'm the same no matter how I am dressed, but I find it easier to relax and have fun when I an clad femme.

15. My quilted coat in the winter.

18. Talk normally. (DON'T talk in falsetto.)

19. If you change your life, you will probably have to change your mate.

20. In the attic when I started when I was 13, one of them was how do I operate this zipper up the back?

[Casey Morgan]

Well, that's certainly an interesting mix of questions. Some I can't answer and some of them... well, either I'd rather not (for various personal reasons) or I'll let others answer who can do it justice.

1) Right now I'd have to say I sacrifice, or perhaps risk sacrificing, acceptance from people who matter to me at a time when I'm still learning how to validate myself in the absence of acceptance.

2) I don't have a male persona and a female persona. I have a singular persona which is too feminine to be male and too masculine to be female. I'm one of those "lucky" people who is between genders. For me, I prefer to have my appearance match my persona, but I'm flexible there. But it's important to me to not repress either the masculine or feminine aspects of who I am.

3) I've incorporated women's clothing into my daily wardrobe, and I don't have such a need to dress fully anymore.

4) I haven't seen anything on this but I wouldn't see why they would be. Perhaps, like you, some are more open to certain experiences.

9) Whether you tell your close guy friends depends entirely on your friends. I have one sister I don't plan to come out to, at least not right now, so you have to deal with each person individually.

10) It's been said, and I agree, that it's not really "natural" but I can't stand looking at the monkey fur on my arms. (I'm not that hairy but it bothers me that much.)

14) I'm the same person en femme, en homme, or au naturale, and that person is a type B personality.

15) Underwear.

19) An accepting girlfriend, but "girl" doesn't have to be taken literally and it doesn't have to apply (thinking of FTM androgynes/genderqueers/etc.).

20) Why do I like this? Why do I want to BE a girl? What the heck is wrong with me?

[sandra-leigh]

1) What do you sacrifice to dress?

For now... some honesty and openness with my wife. I don't like misdirecting her about why I was later than usual on monthly meeting night, and I don't like hiding the clothes away, and I don't like that this big part of my life at the moment, I don't tell her anything about. I can explain some parts, I can't explain why wearing forms "feels right" to me -- and I can't explain my altered reactions when I fully dress up.


8) What kind of foundation will cover stubble?
That would depend on how heavy the stubble is.

My stubble itself tends not to be heavy after I have shaved; I have more problem with 5 o'clock shadow than with the stubble itself.
One of the Lancome foundations was recommended to me, and I was happy with it for awhile, but then I decided that it was more orange than was right for me. These days I've been using one of the Cover Girl (Derma Blend?) foundations from the drug store, which has been a closer match to my skin. Foundation used to take me a fair while, making sure that it was all spread out evenly, and that it went far enough and so on; with the CG that is closer to my colour, I can just apply some with my fingers, spread it around with my fingers, and it comes out looking fine. It isn't the right stuff to "paint" my face with makeup to disguise who I am, but it is good for covering up the stubble and shadow and razor burn and look realistic on me (rather than "made up".)


14) Stereotype yourself: Do you have a type A or B personality when not dressed?

No, neither :D

I don't spend my time worrying about what other people have, or what other people have accomplished, or whether I'm "better" than them. I'm not very competitive. But at the same time, when I have a job to do, I do it thoroughly, pushing myself hard to do it well, and spending time to help other people understand the subject. I'm a "sit back and listen" person... until it gets to one of the areas I know, in which case I'm profuse (and occasionally profound.)
My crossdressing personality differs not in Type A/ Type B: it differs in that I'm more extroverted about crossdressing and when crossdressed. But I'm still the one spending 25 minutes in the hosiery department, carefully looking over all the different varieties of fashion tights, evaluating styles, colour, quality, prices, brands -- crossdressed, I'm still the kind of person who studies what's out there, not just going and buying the first thing that catches my eye.

[noname]

I agree with others in the, slow down bit.

Going all out, all at once can be expensive and also lead to guilt for the money spent. It really takes time to find the style that works for you. For instance, It didn't take long to figure out nail polish on my finger nails was just not me. I recommend starting slow with something like womens jeans and shoes or something.

[Lisa Golightly]

1) What do you sacrifice to dress? Nothing really.

2) How important is your feminine persona and appearance? How important is your masculine persona and appearance? Which takes priority? I'm just Lisa.

3) How has your dressing and/or sexuality changed since you accepted yourself as transgendered? I've always been as I am.

4) Are Tgirls more sexual than the average joe? I've no idea.

5) How do I thin my eyebrows and get away with it? Do it gradually.

6) Are fake eye lashes a must? Hate them.

7) What's the best razor? How do I prevent razor burn? Gillette Venus and use lots of shaving gel.

8) What kind of foundation will cover stubble? a heavy one.

9) Would telling close friends (guys) be a horrible mistake? Depends on the individual.

10) Should I shave my arms too? I do.

11) If you workout, do you workout to maintain a masculine physique or a feminine one? Ermmm I sleepercise ;)

12) I have big feet, size 11/12, are there brick and mortar stores that sell heels in large sizes? Erm, pass.

13) Is it worth the looks to get a pedicure? Save money and learn how to do it yourself

14) Stereotype yourself: Do you have a type A or B personality when not dressed? What's A or B? Sounds like psychobabble.

15) What's the one piece of clothing you can't live without? Hmmmmm... Couldn't pick just one.

16) What are the best fake breasts? Balloons filled with pudding? Stockings filled with bird seed? Silicon is cheap enough these days... I don't use anything personally.

17) Best bra for a TGirl? Erm... depends I guess on whether you have real or faux breasts.

18) Is it better to try and impersonate a female voice or just talk normally when dressed en femme? I couldn't remember to be squeeky after a few drinks.

19) For those of you not married what is your ideal romantic situation? An accepting girlfriend? A diverse sexual life? Accepting friends and family? If you're married, does your wife support your habits? If she doesn't, is it worth it anyway? Awwwww bless... I'm living the perfect romance :)

20) What questions did you have when you first started dressing? Which way round does this go :)