It's becuase we think about it.

[dann]

In my opinion, that’s what makes us what we are. I'm certain there are many men that are regularly tormented with the notion of going fem, yet they never do it. To me, that seems like allot of wasted energy depending on the strength of the urges. Because if it is something one thinks about, but has to fight it off and suppress it, then one has the mind of a crossdresser.In my opinion, that is a crossdresser.That is some level of transgender.
If you think about it throughout your life and never do it, then you're just in denial of what you'd truly like to explore.This is why I don't see myself ever willfully purging again.The thoughts have been with me since I was roughly 5 years old.That's 30 friggin' years. I've gone long spurts where I didn't do it. Thought I'd left it behind. Then back it comes.The feelings, the desires.I could push it all away again in the heat of an angered moment. I might even believe it to be gone for good. But what about the next time it dawns on me that I'd like to feel fem.I don't act out on it becuase most of the world says it's wrong?I don't act on it becuase loved ones would feel uncomfortable with it? Are those same loved ones going to help me through the thoughts without judging me for even having them? Screw it, those that say it's wrong for me to do it would consider it wrong for me to even think about it in the first place. Which is something that cannot be controlled.Those people would say it is a flawed thought process from jump street. Yet no one has ever come up with a good reason as to why it's wrong.Beyond ,ofcourse, what many might inturpret the bible as stating on the matter. Which, if you ask me, is the root of the stigma placed upon all things not "straight".
So to some up; I'm a crossdresser becuase I think about dressing up like a women. Not just becuase I actually do it. My own opinion on myself. Hope you all enjoyed.Thinking out loud on a friday night non-fem.

Load up the spare change in 2 cent increments friends.

[SandyR]

Purging sucks! Been there done that!

You are right its in us! I am not sure why, but after close to 30+ years of being a Cross Dresser, I just don't care anymore! This is me (or her) like it or not!

Buy more shoes!

Kisses....

SandyR

[Dixie]

Sandy you go girl, Ilove that I finally went "out", I love it even more that I found acceptance!:happy:

[Valerie Nicole]

Maybe I'm misinterpreting this, but are you saying that everyone is a crossdresser? Whether that's what you're saying or not, I'd like to run with that idea in a long philosophical rant. If all men really are crossdressers, then what is it that separates us from other men? Nothing, except for the fact that we actually go through with the urges. Further, if everyone had and gave into these thoughts, then there would be no such thing as crossdressing, because everyone would be allowed to where whatever they wanted without fear of it being taboo. The distinction between men's and women's clothing would blur and eventually disappear. "Crossdressing" would become a thing of the past and people would just wear what they were comfortable with. :2c:

Current savings: $0.08

[Dixie]

I think that there are more men who have thought about it/experimented withit then will admit it.

[Sallee]

I guess we have all wrestled with it. I would agree, your a crossdresser if you have a desire to where the clothing of the opposite gender, be it male or female. My question, why do the genders wear different style, cut,look, color of clothing. One is obviously body shape.
Its all to wierd So I don't try to hard to figure it out. But I sure do enjoy it.. :confused:

[Dixie]

That's what I like about being Scotch/Irish I can wear a Kilt and get away with it. It's when I wear the minikilt that it raises an eyebrow or two hehehe:heehee:

[SandyR]

Dixie,

I so agree! There are more around us then we might think........

Rock on Girl!

Kissess.....

SandyR

[Elizabeth Ann]

You're a cross dresser if you think about it?

Are you a rapist if you think about non-consentual sex?
Are you a thief if you would keep money not yours?
How about being a Christian because you think about it?

You are what you do, and being in contol of your impulses is a virtue, not a vice.

Elizabeth

[Carin]

You're a cross dresser if you think about it? Yes, If you think about it as a source of pleasure

Are you a rapist if you think about non-consentual sex? Yes, If you think about doing it as a source of pleasure

Are you a thief if you would keep money not yours?Yes

How about being a Christian because you think about it? Huh

You are what you doYou are what you are.

being in contol of your impulses is a virtue, not a vice. I agree

[dann]

You're a cross dresser if you think about it?

Are you a rapist if you think about non-consentual sex?
Are you a thief if you would keep money not yours?
How about being a Christian because you think about it?

You are what you do, and being in contol of your impulses is a virtue, not a vice.

Elizabeth

If one's thoughts about having non-consentual sex in a forceful manner are that they have a desire to do such a thing, then maybe one IS a rapist. It is the hope that one would seek counseling to get that hashed out before acting on those impulses.
The vast majority of us here have pleasured oursleves with the thoughts of someone in our mind that we may or may not be sure of that persons reception of our desires.That in and of itself, is a thought of non-consentual sex. That is NOT the thought of rape.

Rape is harmful.
You are raping nobody by being a crossdresser.

If you take money that is not yours, you are in fact a thief.

Stealing is harmful.
You are stealing from nobody by being a crossdresser.

I think about being a Christian all the time. The jury is still out for me as to if it is all as it says it is in the bible or not.Givin the fact that throughout history Kings have had the bible revised to fit their needs leads me to wonder what the heck i'm reading when I have that book in my hands.That is not a slant on anyone of devout faith here. I truley envy those who have found a way to see through the hang ups I have about it so as to practice a faith that brings them peace.

Sometimes i wish I could let go and be a proper christian. But what christian based faith would seriously accept me for what I believe God created me to be?
Yea theres a couple. i could show up at the Universal Unitarian church in full drag and it'd be all good. But what do the Catholics and the Lutherans, etc think of them? Sinners! that's what they think.

My point is, drawing any kind of a similarity between the impulse to wear the clothes of the opposite sex and acting out violent impulses and thievary is waaaaaayyy off the mark.
Controlling violent impulses is one thing and yes i believe that is a virtue. But why should someone have to control such a non-violent impulse such as crossdressing?
That's pretty much the same as saying one needs to control his or her impulse to create a work of art.


Again it comes back to, who is harmed?

And please, with all due respect to my own wife and all the other SO's who didn't know about it for years, I recognize the secret as the issue here. The secret and the lie in and of itself is a major issue.That is wrong doing.But what the secret is, is not.

[AmberTG]

You raise a very good point. The thing about crossdressing that hurts the SO if you kept it secret, is simply that you kept it secret. You hid an important essential part of your personality from your SO. It's a form of dishonesty that causes the SO to wonder what else you might be hiding, it becomes a trust issue. The other thing that hurts the SO is the "pink fog". When you put so much of your thought energy and your free time into CDing, you are taking away from the time and energy you should be directing toward your relationship. Everyone needs a certain amount of time of their own to enjoy their interests, but CDing can become more important than the other people in a person's life, hurting the relationship and causing harm. This is where the ability to control the urge becomes important. You can't have a good relationship with someone else if you're not an active part of the relationship.
There's my 2 cents.

[Elizabeth Ann]

I apologise if my language seems inflamatory to anyone here.

My only point was that having thoughts, or even desires, about something does not make you that thing. How many of us have ever been so angry that we wanted to do violence to someone, might even have gotten some satisfaction from it, but restrained ourselves. The desire to hit someone does not make us an aggressor. We all have myriad desires we never act upon. I would love to go skydiving, but that doesn't make me a skydiver.

The title of this thread "It's because we think about it," just pressed a button with me. It denies our free will. I'm not a religious person, but the Bible talks about Jesus being tempted by the Devil. If Jesus was tempted to sin, does that make him a sinner?

Elizabeth

[dann]

No offense taken what-so-ever. This is really good conversation.

Yea i see what your saying. I think I look at it more along the lines of someone with a similar nagging to experience fem as we do, but then not doing so because of the views of others. Or doing so once, liking it, but never doing it again....becuase of the views of others.
So it's not like you're conforming to the thoughts of others, you'd just be physically conforming to their ideals. But in reality you're thinking that CDing is OK is the very thought process by which you'd be judged on.Thus, you might as well do so if desired.

I mean i'm not talking about any old shmo whos sees a chick in a mini skirt and for a fleeting moment thinks to himself "I wonder what that would be like" but never does it and never thinks about it again.I think that's the case for many men.

Alright. let me rephrase it in light of your sky diving analogy, if it were jabbing you in the side to sky dive...like it was part of your daily thought process and annoying you that you couldn't for what ever reason ,in some way, wouldn't you be an aspiring sky diver?...speaking of that, I think my wife would rather watch me jump out of a plane for thrills than see me in drag.i guess that's part of my point. If I said after 15 years of being togther, "sweety I never told you this, but I've always wanted to jump out of a perfectly good airplane." I'd probably get the big thumbs up. Even though it's incredibly iresponsible given we have a child.But when it comes to presenting to her in drag... it's way more of a huge leap...pun sort of intended.

[Joy Carter]

I beat myself up over this for years. Fifty seven to be exact. I had to break out and be who I am. Have I convinced myself that I'm a cross dresser just by thinking of it ? Or is it because it touches my pleasure center in my brain ? No, I believe I'm who I am and I can't change that.