I don't know what it means! I want to be loved by a woman...as a woman.

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Girls, I really don't know what I'm feeling right now. I guess it's my first real taste of what the shrinks call 'gender dysphoria' - and I don't know how to handle it.
I was watching a movie with non-sexual lesbian encounters (dating, making out, etc.) enfemme and I found a strong part of me wanted to be able to experience part of that - but not as a man, as Nathan, but as a woman, as Natasha.

In essence, I feel like there's a part of me that wants to be loved by a woman as a woman. I guess this means that when I'm dressed I want to be romantically involved with a woman at times.
I am engaged to the beautiful aj_gg and I couldn't see myself spending the rest of my life with anyone else. I would love for her to be able to accept me as a man and as a 'woman' and to love both sides of me equally. There's a part of me that says it would not be a bad thing if we, say...became intimate while I was still enfemme.
I know she is opposed to this and I would not dream of pressing the issue - but it's still something I'm feeling for the first time and it confuses and scares the Hell out of me. I just don't know what's going on...

I don't know what she'll think when she reads this or when I bring it up to her. I don't even know what I'm feeling. What does it all mean? For me to wish to be loved by a woman, as a woman. I don't get it. Girls, help...can anyone relate to what I'm feeling here? What should I do?

(To aj_gg: I'm really sorry I couldn't get a hold of you before posting this, but you were at work. We really need to talk about this, so please, if you read this before I can talk to you, call me. I love you. And no, I'm never going to leave you. This is just one more facet of my being that I need to uncover and understand. I know it's probably way over your head at this point, and the last thing you need, but please - be patient and bear with me. We'll work this out together. I don't want to lose you. I love you.

...

Sarcastic comment pending: I guess this makes me a lesbian when I'm enfemme, huh?)

[Jennifer_G_2]

Thank you for that post, I was beginning to wonder if I was the only one that felt this way. It kinda reminds me of a joke I heard once about being a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Hehe, not really a joke when it is what we experience. I liken it to the fact that when I am dressed as a woman, I also seem to want to be loved by the same sensitivity, sensuality, and tenderness I feel when dressed.

Also, I would tend to think that most CD's are straight, so continuing an existing sexual preference through-out dressing seems perfectly logical (and practical). However, this will most likely be both pro and con, as your SO probably would be looking for man in most intimate occasions. One thing that is very positive for her though is that she knows that you still intersted in her as a woman, even during dress, which I would think the natural thought of most women would be that when men dress as the opposite sex, they are then interested in the same. Hope that helps.



Jen

[Nicole]

In essence, I feel like there's a part of me that wants to be loved by a woman as a woman.

Natasha, you beat me to it. I've been working on a post dealing with this subject which is not quite ready yet. For now I can say that I understand exactly what you are talking about. I feel the same way. The need to be loved as Karen is very strong. I don't care whether it makes me a lesbian or gay or whatever, I only want to be cherished as her. Still trying to find out whether 'she' is more 'me' than 'I' currently am. :hugs:

[Michelia]

I very much have that need.

I am very lucky in that my SO totally satisfies it. I am the macho guy for her at least half the time. The other half she totally enjoys having her way with me. I have to say it has paved the way for the most deeply felt closeness we could ever have imagined. I totally let myself go with her and never hold back. She in turn has responded by never making me feel awkward. But she really does enjoy me being so open with her and being the most girl I can be.

When I am in macho mode she is "my girl" and she always refers to me by my male name and I am often quite dominant while she feels safe. When I am in girl mode, I am "her girl". She then always instinctively refers to me by my girl name and kind of takes charge and becomes very protective.

None of this has happened overnight and not without a lot of communication. But has happened rather naturally rather than formally defining the nature of our relationship.

I guess I am very lucky. But on the other hand, I worship her. And of course I would never trade her for anything, man or woman. I live to make her happy.

Michelia

[Kikacd]

The majority of my fanatasies of me enfemme are centered on being with a woman not a man. I like to think about it in a lesbian relationship context or a submissive serving her mistress. Even being submisive to serve my lover in whatever she desires.

My wife & I do make love while I am dressed in lingere. (Not everytime we make love though) but almost everyother time. I love the feel of us caressing eachother and feeling the satins & silks.

If you SO accepts your dressing she will most likely accept you in bed with lingere.

[Kate Simmons]

It's the softer feelings that you are experiencing Natasha, which, I would say is something like the closeness (and empathy) two women feel for each other. You can experience this with your Nathan side also, Hon. All you have to do is open yourself up to it and I know she would love it as well and still have her guy in the process.:happy:

[sterling12]

Seems simple enough. At least part of the time your a lesbian, (and I would assume of "The lipstick variety".)

A while back, at a Support Group meeting, A Dom I know pointed out this fact to me. She asked: "How do you see yourself?" I replied that I was transgendered. And then she asked, "Do you like boys or girls?" Me says: "girls, of course!" "So....then your obviously a lesbian."

Stopped me dead in my tracks, hadn't thought about it at all. kind of empowering, once you accept the idea.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Jodi Lynn]

I have allways wondered what it would be like too. A few years ago I was in a TG frendly bar and I ran into some girls that I had met online. Well at the end of the night we all gave each other kisses good bye. A couple were just quick pecks, but two others were long deep kisses. As I was in a long deep kiss with one of the girls I said to myself, "Oh crap I am a guy kissing another guy." but then it hit me no we were two girls enjoying being a woman and sharing that joy with each other. So if that makes me a lesbian so be it.

[Josephine 1941]

Hi everyone,

I love when this type of question comes up,excuse the pun. Before I met my current girl friend an was going thru my divorce, I decided to see if I was gay, I met a couple of men for sex. I have since realized that sex with a women or man is just that a animal instink to satisfie our needs. I all so felt that I liked sex with a women more than with men. Since meeting my present girl friend who loves all of me male an female we have found that the both of us are neather male or female . You an only you will have sex with whoever you want . Love on the other hand is a different story , don't confuse the two. I now have a great world to live in I only hope that who ever you are you to some day will enjoy true love of the type I have.


Josephine

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Hey again girls.
I've been taking some heat in personal messages from several members of this forum who shall remain unidentified, obviously, because they're just concerned.
Because of the messages I've gotten and some of the reactions I've recieved I feel like I need to clear some things up.

Again, much of what I'm about to say is regarding stuff I've recieved in personal messages, so it may not make a bunch of sense in the context of the generally positive replies I've gotten here, so here goes:

(WARNING! - I'm sorry if these seem like brutal rants...it's not for you girls and genetic girls out there in general - it's for those who seem to have misunderstood what I said here when I started this thread and called me on it, and to prevent such from happening in the future.

...

Again ladies and genetic ladies, I apologize. This is just my way of clearing some stuff up...and venting, I guess. For those of you who have been nothing but supportive - thank you.

For those of you who have become concerned about my prior post - thank you all the same. I undersand that you're concerned about me and my fiance, but please - don't make crass judgments without really knowing me, kay? Again, I understand that you're concerned, and I thank you.

END WARNING!)

Damage Control:

-I know I am not a transexual. Am I transgendered? Probably. Gender dysphoric? Maybe. Do I really know? Nope. I'm me, and that's it.

-I primarily identify with myself as a man and I know I will always be a man first and foremost. I do not want to change that.

-I, however, have some strong feminine feelings and, I guess you could say 'desires' that I don't quite understand right now.
This feeling of wanting to be, as I said: "loved by a woman as a woman" is one of them and is something I'm trying to figure out.

-I'd be lying if I said that there WASN'T a part of me that identifies at least in part to women and as a woman, but that doesn't make me a woman or want to become a woman. I'm who God made me and all this confusion is, I guess, part of the package - either what He created directly or what He just plain allowed to happen.

-I have not left my fiance out in the dark about this. She knows what I'm feeling. I told her about this somewhat a while ago - I'm only starting to be able to put it in words now, though and that's what this was an attempt to do.

-I'm not really a lesbian, I guess. I'm a straight male. If I did consider myself a woman when I am cross-dressed then sure, I'd probably be a lesbian.

-Ummmm...that's all I can think about now.

I hope this clears some stuff up for those of you who have been a lil' confused over my prior post. Please, if you have any specific concerns, feel free to post 'em and I'll answer you, or drop me a personal message. I'm more than willing to address any issues, concerns, etc. in private or right here - in the public eye.

Take care ladies! If I need to do more damage control later, I'll do so. But right now, I want to do other stuff! Cheers!

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

After reading the diagnostic definitions of gender dysphoria on Wiki (I love that site!) I don't think I'm gender dysphoric. I don't know WHAT I am. I'm figuring it out though, slowly but surely. Thanks for all your help girls!

[Valerie]

I love it when my wife makes love to me as if I were a woman--I just melt. Yet I have always avoided defining myself--I have changed often in my life and surprised myself many times. Lesbian? Just enjoying what is happening now. Tomorrow it may be different. Dysphoria? Who says? Enjoy the wonderful feeling, Nathan-Natasha! :love:

Valerie

[marie354]

Women have that "loving feeling" more than men do, so it is a more accepted and a natural thing for 2 women to be "in love" than 2 men. Society accepts this. (Go figure.)

We have grown up with the expectations that we should be "the man" and love "the woman" and marry and have children so that we can proliferate.

Well now that some of us want to be women...

Well it's natural that this feeling would transfer into us feeling like a "lesbian"... "Wanting to be a woman that wants to be with a woman". It only follows...

There are a lot that want to do it all and want to be with a "real man" as well.

There are sooo many levels to CDing that it's all hard to define.

We all have to find our own way in this maze...................
:hugs:

[TracyH]

Being crossdressers, most of us have two lives, dressed and drab. In one life, you already have your needs met; if you didn't, you probably wouldn't be dressing. Those needs are for acceptance, friends, and love. Sometimes, and especially if your friends and lovers are not aware of your secret life, those needs are not met when you are dressed. This is why we so often feel lonely and isolated because we dress, because we do not have those friends, lovers, and acceptance. So really, it's only natural that you feel the need to be loved while dressed, just like you feel the need to be seen, acknowleged as a human being, and to make friends dressed.

[Kate Simmons]

Natasha, I can't figure out why anyone would attempt to pass judgment on you, as you said, you are just trying to figure things out and sort out your feelings. Absolutely nothing wrong with posing those questions and stating your feelings. It would be totally unbecoming of me as your friend to think you were going to "jump ship" in your relationship just because you express those feelings. I always enjoy reading your comments and your input and your SO's as well. None of us have the answer to everything and we learn from and support one another. Take care my friend.:hugs: Sal

[MsJanessa]

hon I suspect many of the SO GGs feel the way yours does----I don't know if there is a whole lot you can do to change her mind but be aware that the feelings you have are common among crossdressers---there is a sexual element to our dressing(either gay or straight) that many of the Gulrs out there and there SOs don't really acknowledge

[Marcie Sexton]

Not so strange after all...

Speaking of myself that is...I too have the same feelings...something that I have felt and kept to myself for years...Something I have not shared with my wife...

Thanks girls...seeems I'm not that much different from some of the others...

[Jenniferritchie]

Hi i read you post with interest and i am not qualified to say how you should respond to those feelings, but i would like to say that i to feel like i am a lesbian with my wife when i an dressed but that is where the confusion comes in because i do not desire to be involved with any other woman, just my wife, so is the love i am sharing with her that of my male persona or that of my female side. My wife and i have recently went thro a major discussion about my femme side and she has assured me that it is the man she fell in love with and not the female, however the male is also the female therefore she says that she loves the whole person. my wife has not yet went out with me in my female mode and has stated she has no inclination to go out with me, but later this year we have both been invited to a wedding of a cd friend and his gg and my wife is going , so that will bee the first time that we will be together in a social enviroment, this must be LOVE. What does all this mean, i don't know but what i am sure of is that i am very much hetrosexual and happy to be married to my wife and yes we do have an active sex life, this has taken a turn for the better since she has come to accept the whole of me. i hope that there is some sense in this somewhere, goood luck on your journey of discovery:love: :hugs:

[StephanieH]

:2c: I think many of us here are what I've not-so-jokingly referred to myself as - a lesbian trapped in a man's body. Have fun. If your wife can accept it, then marvelous, you've won the grand prize. If not, work around it as best you can, but rest assured, you're FAR from alone in this desire!

Take care! :happy:

[Tree GG]

...but that is where the confusion comes in because i do not desire to be involved with any other woman, just my wife, so is the love i am sharing with her that of my male persona or that of my female side. ... she loves the whole person. ..:

Thank you - I share your confusion. I've been told these same words and I struggle to understand what it means. What exactly does it mean to "...be loved as a woman..." in the logistics sense? Do you want to hear "I love you Natasha" or do you want your breastforms fondled or receive intercourse?

If there is 1 GM + 1 GG intending to be physically intimate using the genetic parts as they were designed, the net actions and result of successful intimacy for both is the same regardless of clothing. Perhaps this is just a state of mind for the CDer, who would like encouragement that she is a lovely/loved lady, in which case all that would be required are words and caresses - no?.

???????????? These are real confusions and I would really like clear, specific answers to what actions could you receive from your partner, that you don't receive when in the male mode, to feel as though you're being loved as a woman by a woman (within the bounds of decency, of course).

Thanks

[Kristen Kelly]

Hey again girls.
I've been taking some heat in personal messages from several members of this forum who shall remain unidentified, obviously, because they're just concerned.
Because of the messages I've gotten and some of the reactions I've recieved I feel like I need to clear some things up.
Again, much of what I'm about to say is regarding stuff I've recieved in personal messages, so it may not make a bunch of sense in the context of the generally positive replies I've gotten here, so here goes:

(WARNING! - I'm sorry if these seem like brutal rants...it's not for you girls and genetic girls out there in general - it's for those who seem to have misunderstood what I said here when I started this thread and called me on it, and to prevent such from happening in the future.
Again ladies and genetic ladies, I apologize. This is just my way of clearing some stuff up...and venting, I guess. For those of you who have been nothing but supportive - thank you.
For those of you who have become concerned about my prior post - thank you all the same. I undersand that you're concerned about me and my fiance, but please - don't make crass judgments without really knowing me, kay? Again, I understand that you're concerned, and I thank you.

END WARNING!)

Damage Control:
-I know I am not a transexual. Am I transgendered? Probably. Gender dysphoric? Maybe. Do I really know? Nope. I'm me, and that's it.
I primarily identify with myself as a man and I know I will always be a man first and foremost. I do not want to change that.
-I, however, have some strong feminine feelings and, I guess you could say 'desires' that I don't quite understand right now.
This feeling of wanting to be, as I said: "loved by a woman as a woman" is one of them and is something I'm trying to figure out.
-I'd be lying if I said that there WASN'T a part of me that identifies at least in part to women and as a woman, but that doesn't make me a woman or want to become a woman. I'm who God made me and all this confusion is, I guess, part of the package - either what He created directly or what He just plain allowed to happen.

-I have not left my fiance out in the dark about this. She knows what I'm feeling. I told her about this somewhat a while ago - I'm only starting to be able to put it in words now, though and that's what this was an attempt to do.
-I'm not really a lesbian, I guess. I'm a straight male. If I did consider myself a woman when I am cross-dressed then sure, I'd probably be a lesbian.
-Ummmm...that's all I can think about now.
I hope this clears some stuff up for those of you who have been a lil' confused over my prior post. Please, if you have any specific concerns, feel free to post 'em and I'll answer you, or drop me a personal message. I'm more than willing to address any issues, concerns, etc. in private or right here - in the public eye.
Take care ladies! If I need to do more damage control later, I'll do so. But right now, I want to do other stuff! Cheers!

I Feel like a blonde on a merry-go-round "When we going to get there"

[Felix]

Hope ya don't mind me joining in but can't resist. I feel for ya Hun cos the confusion or feelings you have I can relate to in part. I am FtM but I am very much Lesbian inside still and I know Yachica finds this aspect hard to understand as we only talked about it last night. It's like a spiritual thing to me part of my female side that I don't want to loose or let go of and yet in my mind I want to be seen as a man and called a male name and stuff like that. So it's kinda like what you are going through. Anyways Hun If ya wanna chat in private ya can PM me feel free ok xx Felix :hugs:

[stormrider]

I myself am a bisexual girl, but a heterosexual when in men's clothes.

[Maggie Kay]

When I think of this act, I don't see male genitalia involved... SO is the desire to have sex without "it" the big draw. It is for me.

[Sweet Susan]

Natasha,
I find what you are describing to be a rather accurate description of myself. I do not see myself as a woman. I do not even want to become a woman. On the other hand, I do want my wife to treat me as a woman, love me as a woman, and make love to me as a woman. It's rather silly, I know. But if I had my druthers, that is what they would be. So, I understand where you are coming from, but like you, I don't know why.

Susan:hugs:

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Hi i read you post with interest and i am not qualified to say how you should respond to those feelings, but i would like to say that i to feel like i am a lesbian with my wife when i an dressed but that is where the confusion comes in because i do not desire to be involved with any other woman, just my wife, so is the love i am sharing with her that of my male persona or that of my female side.

Yes, that is exactly what I feel, Jennifer! I KNOW I couldn't be intimate with any other woman - when I'm enfemme or otherwise - I only want to be with her.
However, there's a part of me that, when I'm enfemme (mentally or physically) would like the love of another woman (being my fiance, in this case) - pyhsical, emotional, mental, or what have you. It isn't necessarily about sex like some ladies have seemed to think here - which is okay. I was a little vague.
I guess what I'm hoping for in the long run is for my fiance to be able to completely love and accept me when I'm dressed and be able to say 'I love you' and mean it with the same compassion and heart she does when she says it to me when I'm not enfemme.
I mean sure, I would also love to be able to enjoy a romantic night with her while I'm enfemme, too - you know, dinner, dancing, etc. and see where it goes from there. But I know that's something she's not comfortable with right now and needs some time. I'm more than willing to give her that time becasue I need some time myself to figure out what I'm feeling.

I really think her and I could use a nice long talk about my femme side too, when she's ready of course. Thanks for the help, Jennifer!

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

"Oh crap I am a guy kissing another guy."

Yeah, I can understand that. But I was kinda thinking that for myself, I would want said 'love' to be from a genetic girl - ideally and hopefully from my fiance, aj.

I guess what I was trying to say was that part of me as a cross-dresser, as a 'woman' you could say, would be looking for intamcay from my fiance when I'm enfemme, at times. I wouldn't just be looking physical intamacy, either. I would like for her to be able to love me as Natasha as well as Nathan - to be able to hold me, talk to me, say she loves me, etc. when I'm enfemme the way she does when I'm not - or differently even, so long as she knows that inside, regardless of what I look like outside, that it's still the same soul she loves - the same me. But like I've said before - I know that's a long way out. That's fine, too. Aj's more than worth the wait.

[LindaTS]

I know exactly how you feel Natisha. I just met a GG who is bi and she wants to be with me in a woman to woman situation. She seems very serious about it and it gives me a very good feeling that she wants me this way, as a woman. I'll try to keep you all informed as to how it works out.

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Hi everyone,

I love when this type of question comes up,excuse the pun. Before I met my current girl friend an was going thru my divorce, I decided to see if I was gay, I met a couple of men for sex. I have since realized that sex with a women or man is just that a animal instink to satisfie our needs. I all so felt that I liked sex with a women more than with men. Since meeting my present girl friend who loves all of me male an female we have found that the both of us are neather male or female . You an only you will have sex with whoever you want . Love on the other hand is a different story , don't confuse the two. I now have a great world to live in I only hope that who ever you are you to some day will enjoy true love of the type I have.


Josephine

Again, to you Josephine and all. I'm not really talking about sex. In the movie I was watching, the two girls, the 'lovers' in question were doing things like having dinner, walking along the beach, and well, making out together. There was a part of me in my femme side that said: 'I would like to have that too.' What confused me was that I knew it didn't come from my masculine side. I have all that intamacy and closeness to my fiance as a man, but I still lack that as a 'woman.' I guess what I'm trying to say is I would like the same general level of intamacy from my fiance when I'm enfemme - and not necessarily sexual intmacy either, ya know?
I'm still trying to sort all of these feelings out because like I've said in a few other posts - I haven't really gotten a chance to explore this side of myself before and I'm still learning. I don't know what it is to be a cross-dresser yet - in that respect, I'm just a little girl, barely out of diapers. These feelings I've been having - they're way over my head. And way, way over my fiance, aj's. We're both learning slowly. We're taking, as she says - "baby steps" and that's alright by me.

Thank you for the post, Josephine! I'm glad you could share your experiences with this. I know it's a little different than what I think I'm feeling, but it still helps. Thanks! And thanks to the rest of you wonderful ladies out there, too!

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

It's the softer feelings that you are experiencing Natasha, which, I would say is something like the closeness (and empathy) two women feel for each other. You can experience this with your Nathan side also, Hon. All you have to do is open yourself up to it and I know she would love it as well and still have her guy in the process.:happy:

Yeah, I know, Salandra. That feels right. But at this point I'm unable to feel those things from my fiance when I'm enfemme. I DO get them when I'm in guy mode, but there is a part of me that wants to be able to have those feelings from her when I'm cross-dressed, too. I don't really know what that's all about... *sigh* So confusing...!

I really want to be the guy she wants me to be too, and I still want intamacy from her when I'm not enfemme, too. But still...there's that small part of me that says 'love me as a woman', and I'm trying to figure out what that means...

Thanks Salandra. You've been a big help.

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

There are sooo many levels to CDing that it's all hard to define.

We all have to find our own way in this maze...................
:hugs:

Yeah, that's putting it mildly, to say the least, Marie. There are so many levels and though I've been doing this off and on since 2nd grade I really don't know HOW to define myself and I've only began to really realize how deep the cross-dressing goes now.
These feelings I've been experienceing have just added a couple of twists and turns (heck, FLOORS!) to the mazes that I have to explore.

Though we have to find our own way through the maze, I know that we can rely on each other and on the genetic girls in our lives to help guide us through. The maze may have no end, but at least it's one heck of a journey, right? And it's one that we can enjoy together. That's what this board, this community is about, I think.

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

I love it when my wife makes love to me as if I were a woman--I just melt. Yet I have always avoided defining myself--I have changed often in my life and surprised myself many times. Lesbian? Just enjoying what is happening now. Tomorrow it may be different. Dysphoria? Who says? Enjoy the wonderful feeling, Nathan-Natasha! :love:

Valerie

Yeah, I shouldn't worry so much about definitions. After reading more about dysphoria, I'd say that it's not me. I think I'll stick with 'transgendered' if I even have to be that technical. I was joking about the lesbian thing, though. I know I'm a straight guy, even when I'm enfemme - but still, when I'm enfemme and thinking enfemme as I sometimes do, I still think it would be nice to know what it's like to be loved - emotionally, physically, etc. - as a woman.

I wish there would be a time in the future where my fiance could love me as a woman...and if it came to it once we're married, to - as you said, Valerie: "make love to me as if I were a woman" too.
But right now, she's not ready to really even be intamate with me, that is close, kissing, etc. when I'm enfemme. It's not comfortable for her yet. That's why I'm not gonna press the issue. If that's something she becomes comfortable with in the future, then it's gonna devlop in her own time. In the meanwhile, I'll more than enjoy and cherish the invaluable intamacy I get from her when I'm not enfemme.

But still...a girl can dream can't she...?

[Kate Simmons]

You need to know that you are cherished as your whole self Tash and that includes your femme side. That is what it is really all about, I think. They are very complex dynamics and you have to get deeply in touch with yourself to really understand. I'm doing that myself in many different ways, it just takes time. Those who really know me and what I've been going through lately have an idea what I mean.:happy: Sal

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

I know exactly how you feel Natisha. I just met a GG who is bi and she wants to be with me in a woman to woman situation. She seems very serious about it and it gives me a very good feeling that she wants me this way, as a woman. I'll try to keep you all informed as to how it works out.

Ya see Linda, that is something that I would be into, if my fiance were ever up to it. I mean, it would probably be a few years down the road and well after we're married, but I could wait.
I don't know what it is - the idea of a "woman to woman situation", as you put it, has always appealed to me, but not necessarily as an observer or whatever as it does to a lot of straight men, but as a 'female' participant.
I mean, sure, I'd still have my...well, male organs and all, if we ever had such an encounter, but I'd be enfemme, I'd FEEL like a woman, and I think that would feel pretty good. But like I said - it'll probably be a few years down the road, if it ever happens at all.
Thankfully, I still more than enjoy the intamacy and closeness I get from my fiance when I'm in guy mode as well. A girl (I suppose 'guy' would be more appropriate in this case) couldn't ask for more!

Thanks Linda!!!! You've helped me express part of what I'm feeling.

[JoanFlores]

I have read all the comments up to now and do agree that many of use are men that when in fem mode enjoy being with other women, and if our wife can except us, and be happy, then you have it made. If not, then you will be looking for someone who will accept you as you are.

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Natasha, I can't figure out why anyone would attempt to pass judgment on you, as you said, you are just trying to figure things out and sort out your feelings. Absolutely nothing wrong with posing those questions and stating your feelings. It would be totally unbecoming of me as your friend to think you were going to "jump ship" in your relationship just because you express those feelings. I always enjoy reading your comments and your input and your SO's as well. None of us have the answer to everything and we learn from and support one another. Take care my friend.:hugs: Sal

Thank you so much for the support, Salandra. It's good to know that you really care like you do. I know the rest of the ladies here do to, and the ones who were worried and contacted me were just trying to look out for my fiance. They misred what I'd written and have apologized for it. We've cleared all that up.
But still, thank you! And thank you all again girls!

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

[QUOTE=Randi;822873 you're FAR from alone in this desire![/QUOTE]

After seeing all the replies I've gotten from this post, I can see that now and it makes me feel so good! I was worried that I was some oddball in the group and that no one knew what I was feeling - but then that's what I thought about my cross-dressing in general until I realized that a lot of other guys did it too. I'm learning every day, Randi!

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

I Feel like a blonde on a merry-go-round "When we going to get there"

Don't worry, Kristen. You're probably not alone on this one. I just wanted to prevent future confusion. For the sake of privacy and all didn't copy and paste the messages I got, so I did my best to answer the concerns raised in them here. So yeah, don't worry if you don't understand the 'damage control' posts.
...Lol..."a blonde on a merry-go-round"... You're silly...:heehee:

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Anyways Hun If ya wanna chat in private ya can PM me feel free ok xx Felix :hugs:

Thanks Felix, I just might do that sometime! :hugs:

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

When I think of this act, I don't see male genitalia involved... SO is the desire to have sex without "it" the big draw. It is for me.

Nah...I'd still want to use 'it' if it ever came down to that sort of intamacy with my fiance...I'd just want to be enfemme when I do so, though not always - just occassionaly.
I don't really know what it all means yet, but I'm a learnin'...

And anyhow, I don't know if I'd know how to have sex without 'it', come to think of it (I'm using that word A LOT!)...that'd be a whole 'nother kind of learning! Wow-ee, things to think about. I'd better wait until my fiance is more comfortable with me dressing up in the first place before we tread in those waters. Thanks KayRenee!

P.S. - I'd ask how that works, but I'm not sure if I really want to know...I suppose you could PM me if you care to share how that works...not that I'd be able to try it anytime soon (we're not ready for that, or even exactly intimate that way yet...). I'm just curious. I guess it's a mix of the writer and psych major in me. So yeah, if you want...let me know.

[MJ]

i hope you don't mind me adding to the thread, i am a transsexual and i too have issues like yours, i would love to experience that , this may sound silly but i would thats just me , but i see i am not alone

[kerrianna]

These feelings I've been experienceing have just added a couple of twists and turns (heck, FLOORS!) to the mazes that I have to explore.


LOL, Natasha, that made me think of the famous Escher lithograph. This is what it feels like somedays to me:
http://img230.imageshack.us/img230/4632/escherrelativitywoodcutmg6.jpg

BTW I know what you mean about being romanced as a woman. It's too bad we still have such divided gender roles that many of us have difficulty operating out of the 'norm'. Glad to hear you are trying :heehee: to go slow. It is really important. And it IS about the journey after all - that's all there really is. :hugs: :love:

[Nicole]

I'm not really talking about sex. In the movie I was watching, the two girls, the 'lovers' in question were doing things like having dinner, walking along the beach, and well, making out together. There was a part of me in my femme side that said: 'I would like to have that too.' What confused me was that I knew it didn't come from my masculine side. I have all that intamacy and closeness to my fiance as a man, but I still lack that as a 'woman.' I guess what I'm trying to say is I would like the same general level of intamacy from my fiance when I'm enfemme - and not necessarily sexual intmacy either, ya know?

YES!!! I desperately want to experience that kind of intimacy. I think it is simply a matter of being brave and opening up to share the feelings. Day by day, I'm getting there.

[Fab Karen]

Many GG's in our society are programmed that a man should be "macho" take charge, in control ( cue the "lumberjack song" by Monty Python ). And a woman is completely the opposite. This as we know these days from psychological studies is a fictional concept, roles that still get pushed on young people even in the 21st. century!
The two fears a GG has with being with a crossdresser is the archaic stereotype that a man who dresses as a woman is gay ( our community runs the spectrum from gay to bi to heterosexual, and it's not because of dressing ), and also that the crossdresser is actually a transsexual and wants to totally physically become a woman ( most CD's aren't ).

[Gerri Paul]

Hello Nastasha. I have thought about the same thing.I wondered what it would be like to have hose on hose ect,ect.I better stop im losing my train of thought!! XOXO Gerri Paul:eek: :eek: ( sorry Natasha)

[Carin]

I consider myself transgendered, on my own M2F scale (M-L-K-J-I-H-G-F) I am at I-H. This is an emotional and evolutionary state. I have significant responsibilities that require the full exercise of my male persona that I enjoy. "He' is not going to disappear. On the other hand I enjoy and look forward to being able to express me female persona and evolutionary state which is now not only possible but probable in our relationship.

Been married 24 years and we love each other. I am so fortunate to have that one-in-a-million partner :love: :kiss: and we have crossed a threshold where our love for each other, emotioanlly and in sexual expression, is not dependent on gender roles or gender identity. It did take 24 years. It is an evolutionary process. Sexual expression and sexual intimacy does not have to be dependent on physical anatomy. If it sounds like we found the Holy Grail, maybe we have! :D

If she is at F (maybe G) on the scale, and I am at H, then the expression of our love has all of the sensitivity and emotional characteristics one would expect of two womenin love. Call us lesbian if you want, but labels need definitions and our relationship does not.

So Natasha, yes, it is possible.

Yes Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus.

[Carin's Wife GG]

that I am Bi and very comfortable with being intimate with a woman. I did not however expect to find that woman in my husband. Really, maybe she and I HAVE found that Holy grail of CDing.

Louise.

[Angela E.]

It`s really perfectly natural for those of us with gender issues to feel this way.-Angela.:hugs: :itsok: :GE: :GD: :jumping:

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

I just had a lovely evening with my fiance yesterday and we talked aboout this matter of me wanting to be loved by a woman as a woman considerably. We even spent a goodly amount of time talking as aj and Natasha and not aj and Nathan - which felt really good. I think it's gonna be a while before we can share much physical intamacy (especially of the sexual nature) for an extended period of time when I'm enfemme, but we're starting to get those emotional attachments I've been looking for enfemme down.

Girls, I think I'm finally starting to get it - and it feels GREAT!

Thanks for all of your replies! This has probably been one of the best threads I've started. I regretted it for a while, but not at all now. You've all been great. Keep those insights flying ladies! I'm sure we could all use 'em!

[crusadergirl]

I too i have thoses feelings when i'm dressed. I would like to be loved as a woman by a woman. I understand where your coming from. I really liked your post you are way better at telling everybody how you feel then i do.
I enjoy most of your posts so keep them coming.