Why it was so hard to tell her.

[Rikkicn]

I was scarred to tell me ex wife about my desires and passions. It took me a long, long time to have the nerve and courage tell her. Why was that? Why was it so hard to tell my wife of 25 years, my companion and best friend. Much of life is an illusion

Here’s what I’ve figured out with the time and distance of 7 years gone by.
I didn’t trust her.

I didn’t trust that she would keep loving me.
I didn’t trust that she would support and encourage me to find what I was looking for or needed.
I didn’t trust that she would embrace my erotic needs and desires
I didn’t trust that she would join me in outings with excitement in her eyes.
I didn’t trust that she would be pleased that I was willing to take the risk and go out of the house someday.
I didn’t trust that she would let me be the one the decides to tell others.
I didn’t trust that she would be willing to read, learn and educate herself about Gender and sexuality.
I didn’t trust that I could go to her when I was hurting and needed comforting.
I didn’t trust that she would be gentle and careful with my exposed heart that she held in her hands.
I didn't trust that she loved me enough

Turned out that I was right

Love you all

[Jenna1561]

Rikki,

I'm so very sorry that your distrust in her proved true; that she hurt you; that a good relationship dissolved.

If you read my reply to another of your posts, then you know that my wife doesn't want to know anymore about "IT", but I have the same fears. That if I tell her (and I really want to) she'd react much the same. I know life would go on, but...

It sounds as though you found yourself and have moved on in life. I think that's great. Stay strong and live life as yourself for yourself.


Jenna

[Rikkicn]

These are big risks that life asks us to take. I hope you get to the point that your ready, have had enough or don't care any longer about the consequences.
It's a terrible burden, that we should have to take such risks to find ourselves.
What are we going to do? No choice really.
A friend of mine once said to me "you can pull the band-aid off fast or you can pull it off very slowly. It has to come off, which way will hurt the least?"

[Kerry Owens]

Lawren took that step of trust right from the start and told me, it was a surprise; but after thought I knew I could trust him too. We've been together nearly a year and 5 months now, and married too. That step of honesty is what can make a world of difference...right from the very start. Don't wait for years to pass before you open your life and heart to her completely.
It's when you hide, and can't find a way out of the cycle of deception.

[Valerie Nicole]

I've said it before and I'll say it again. I make it a policy to tell anyone I date, right at the start of the relationship. Even though I'm only 19, I don't want to waste time in a relationship that is doomed from the start, and so I like to eliminate crossdressing as a reason for breaking up.

[veronicag48]

Did you write all of the "didn't trust me" lines before or after she left you?

[Rikkicn]

Did you write all of the "didn't trust me" lines before or after she left you?
Actually, I left her. And I wrote those recently. I didn't realize all that for a long time. Takes time to heal.

[like2bvickie]

Rikki, Hun I feel for you. I was caught by my wife, wish I had told her before
that, maybe there would be more trust now? I don't think any of us know how it will turn out, after we have keep it a secret from our wife.

:love: Vickie