What is it about 'being a guy' that attracts you?

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Hey guys. This is my first post in the female to male cross-dressing thread and I'm kinda nervous...so bear with me?

I'm just curious... I've been a male to female cross-dresser for most of my life and there's always been a part of me that's liked 'becoming' a woman when I dress, so I guess it's a little hard for me to understand what the big draw is about becoming or dressing as a guy.
I suppose you could turn the tables and ask me the same thing...but I'd really like to know. I am so in the dark when it comes to F to M cross-dressing and I guess mabye there's a part of me that hopes to learn a little about my own manhood (which I've always been uncomfortable with...) from you all out there.

So yeah... What is it about cross-dressing as and 'becoming' a guy that is attractive to you? Please let me know. Sorry if this is a dumb question...

[RevMoonSerpent]

Thanks for getting the courage to give us a post. I'm going to try and answer your question as best I can.

For me dressing in a more masculine way is a way of expressing how I feel as a person. I think of myself as gender queer and not just a cross dresser. So for me, dressing in a more masculine or neutral way is the only way that I can show my real gender identity which is about 85% male to 15% female.

On an even more personal level, to me I always associate the perfect magazine model body and shy dainty behavior with being a woman. For years and in some cases even now when presenting as female I am always conscious of my weight (188 pounds, I'm only giving my true size so people will see that I'm not stick thin and just think I'm fat) and to me I can't feel feminine with a large body. Also in almost all of my relationships I am the dominant party. I am aggressive, controlling and even possessive. Putting on a dress and makeup just doesn't work for me with that combination.
When I'm presenting as a man, I don't feel the constant bother of people measuring me up to be thin and perfect. Plus being aggressive seems to be accepted better coming from a man. So dressing in mens fashion allows me the freedoms to be who I am and not feel bad about it.
It's a long winded answer to your question and as a final note for anyone reading this. The things I have stated above are my own personal opinions. I know almost everyone struggles with if they are thin enough or look pretty but, from what I have been exposed to, you can be heavy as a man and as long as you have good hygiene and are not a complete slob most people seem to accept a mans weight without it being an issue. So I don't want a ton of replies stating that I'm wrong about how people are judged on their looks.

[Laurie909]

It's a long winded answer to your question and as a final note for anyone reading this. The things I have stated above are my own personal opinions.

I think it's a VERY GOOD answer and I understand all the points you made. They make perfect sense to me.

[Abraxas]

I don't really know. For me, it's hard to separate out the reasons. All I know is that I can't be a girl. I'm definitely trans, probably TS even, and I've never been comfortable with being a girl. In fact, I don't remember ever thinking of myself as one.
Probably part of it is that I've always had male role models. People who were very definitely male. I respected them immensely, and wanted to be like them (and be with them, but that's another matter entirely). So if you remove the slight narcissism from the equation (basically, wanting to look like and be like the guys I respected and was attacted to), then hero-worship falls into play there.
I've never really had any female role models (apart from my mum), and never aspired to be anything remotely feminine... I wanted to be sexy in a masculine way-- I wanted to be Johnny Depp/David Bowie sexy... or rock star sexy. But more than that, just wanted to be treated like a guy. And now I am, and it's really liberating and just feels good. When people treat me like a girl, think I'm dainty or need to be protected or whatever, it makes me slighlty ill.
I can't say for sure what the reasons are, but that's just my way of thinking about myself. Hope you find the answers you're looking for.

[John]

Hm... a tricky one, not sure if I can even answer that. To be honist, I don't think I have a choice in the matter. Being a man has as many pros and cons and being a woman, and being TS sometimes seems like all you do is get the cons from both! (joke, I'm just feeling a little hacked off at life at the moment). I think it's just a matter of being me, and that happens to be a guy; you may as well ask my brother what atracts him to being a boy, the answer is the same.

I know that many people (you'reself included, no doubt) enjoy chosing and picking out clothes, taking ages to get reddy, being 'openly' emotional, and playing the 'fairer sex'. And I can see what the atraction of that would be. It's just not who I am. I'm much more comfortable picking the first cleen thing of the flore, geting reddy by making sure my shirts tucked in, drinking beer and being the dominant personalitie.

[Kate Simmons]

Thanks Rev, Abraxas and John. Good insight I'd say for all good reasons. In fact they are some of the very same reasons I enjoy and have enjoyed being a guy. While that may sound strange to some, I've realized, as I've told some of the guys here, that being a guy is a real big part of me just as being a girl is and I've been re-discovering and enjoying those feelings lately. The funny thing is I had no problem with the feminine feelings until I realized something was missing.:happy: Sal

[CaptLex]

Hey guys. This is my first post in the female to male cross-dressing thread and I'm kinda nervous...so bear with me?
Welcome, Nathan/Natasha, nothing to be nervous about - we're very friendly. If I'd known you were coming, I would have put out the good rum for you, so just give me a minute to wrestle the cookies away from Kieron and make yourself at home. :happy:


I am so in the dark when it comes to F to M cross-dressing and I guess mabye there's a part of me that hopes to learn a little about my own manhood (which I've always been uncomfortable with...) from you all out there.

So yeah... What is it about cross-dressing as and 'becoming' a guy that is attractive to you? Please let me know. Sorry if this is a dumb question...
Nah, not a dumb question - it's a good question, in fact, 'cause many people don't have a clue what we're about and some have a completely wrong idea.

For a lot of us, it's not about the clothes (although we love the clothes), it's about expressing our real identity or at least a part of our identity. Some of us are TS, or men born with the wrong plumbing, and some of us are in between genders and identify, at least partly, as men.

In my case, like Ladymoonserpent (above), I'm mostly male and a little bit female (and that side keeps shrinking). The clothes don't make me feel male - I already do, the clothes make me feel comfortable (I really hate wearing female clothes) and they help me express my real self and show that to the outside world.

I hope our answers help you understand us a little better. If not, feel free to ask some more. :D

[Felix]

Welcome Hun you are most welcome :hugs: Yep like a few here I feel that I have two parts to my whole self. I label myself as genderqueer because I have both parts but like Lex and the Rev I feel more masculine and my clothes reflect my psyche. The clothes don't make me what I am they just help me project me 'Felix' the person. I have to admit I feel more confident now that I am being myself. I always felt clumsy some how when in female mode like is this really it? so since I have been dressing I don't feel like this at all. Hope this is of help Hun xx Felix :hugs:

[Dasein9]

I find questions like this difficult, because I really don't have a point of comparison. There's no way that living more out of the closet really compares to being entirely in it, since that's just a matter of integrity. But I am a guy, so asking me what it's like seems kind of like asking me what it's like looking through my eyes -- how can I know what it's like looking through someone else's?

[Kieron Andrew]

I find questions like this difficult, because I really don't have a point of comparison. There's no way that living more out of the closet really compares to being entirely in it, since that's just a matter of integrity. But I am a guy, so asking me what it's like seems kind of like asking me what it's like looking through my eyes -- how can I know what it's like looking through someone else's?
Im with Das on this, i have nothing to compare it with.....ive always lived my life as a guy, cos that is who am inside

[Adam]

for me i just am a guy so im not attracted to being one i am one

[false_dichotomy]

To be honest... part of the deal for me is that I believe, to a certain extent, that being female makes one a potential victim. It's not something I like to admit, and it makes me wonder sometimes about the "real extent" of my transgender-ness, but it's there and I have to deal with it.

But at the same time... everything about being male strikes me as "right" for myself. It's not any aspect of the "masculine image" I'm attracted to, it's the way it feels to me... as though I should have been doing this my whole life. I don't try especially hard to be stereotypically masculine (even though... at the same time I do. It doesn't really make sense), because that's not how I *feel*. I can wear a dress and still be a man. I can paint my fingernails and still be a man. I can have long hair and still be a man. It's not about "dressing" for me; I have a strong suspicion that once I've been on T long enough to be passable, I am going to be wearing tight pants and shirts again, if not a little make-up or long hair. I don't mind wearing a dress so long as I am a man in a dress. So I think it's obvious that I'm not just trying to look like a guy. I'm only interested in being myself.

[Question Mark]

I like to dress masculinely mostly because people perceive me as male when I dress like that, even if perhaps only subconsciously. If what was perceived as masculine was strappy tanktops and soft jersey skirts, perhaps I would wear those all the time. While I am of the belief that my mind is pretty much androgynous, with some leaning towards male, if I have to make a choice as to how others perceive me I prefer generally to be perceived as male. Thus I dress so that I might be perceived as such.

Every once in a while, like laundry day, I'll crossdress, just to see how good I'd look as a female. But it isn't me, somehow. It's like putting on a costume. And if I'm seen out like that by most people, I feel very self-conscious and start to try and cover myself. In a way, I think dressing femininely is the crossdressing for me.

[XDW Nathan-Natasha]

Wow, thanks for all the insights, everyone!

I can understand and realte with a lot of you that you just feel more comfortable or see yourself more as a guy than a girl. It's kinda the same way with me to a point, only in reverse.
I guess there's kinda a 50/50 split when it comes to me. I mean, I generally think of myself in male terms when I'm not cross-dressed, but I have some pretty strong female traits, interests, and desires all the time. I feel like I can live and express those more when I'm cross-dressed (plus wearing women's clothes is so darn comfortable to me...but you are all probably rolling your eyes and thinking 'she's nuts!').
That kinda seems like how it is to many of you - you get to express a part of yourself, or all of yourself even, when you are a man rather than a woman. I hope that makes sense...and I hope I'm not generalizing.

One thing is, I guess I've learned to take my manhood forgranted over the years. Though I am a male I've never really felt like a man. I've always been more soft, more feminine, more passive (unless I'm playing videogames against someone...then I'm loud, impatient, and I curse a lot...). I am attracted to a lot of more feminnine things, too.
So I guess there's a part of me that is curious as to what merits you all see in being a man. You all seem so comfortable with possessing manhood in such a way that I am not. I think that's soooo cool. It's a lil' confusing but cool nonetheless.
I really admire all of you for being able to be who you are and being able to express yourselves openly. I know there's not a lot of F to M cross-dressers out there, so it's gotta be a tough world...but I wouldn't really know...this is all so new to me. I have so much to learn...about cross-dressing and about myself in general.

Anyhow, thanks! Keep the insights flowing! I'm so glad that you are all so accepting of a curious newbie like me here. I still feel kinda timid posting in this forum. I feel...I dunno...out of place. I guess it feels kinda weird meeting GGs who are more manly than I am...it's strange...but it's awesome!

Thanks again, guys! You all rock!

[Suzie S.]

I have to echo what Natasha is saying. :happy: It is truly insightful to learn more about you guys here, as I have always been curious. Thanks for sharing a bit about yourselves! I am learning that we are not all that different, and are experiencing a lot of the same feelings. And, thanks to Natasha, for posting this thread, as I was a bit nervous to post in this forum also. :hugs: to all!

[pocoyo]

Hiya Nathan/Natasha!

Thanks very much for taking time to get to know us :hugs: and for sharing some stuff about you with us.
Hey don't ever feel shy to post here, you're totally welcome!!

I feel very similar to some bits from each of the guys' posts above.

But I guess my answer is..... I dress as a guy because I am one hehe!
And even if I happened to wear girl clothes I am still a guy really, just... in "girl" clothes.

Btw, I know its sooo confusing, but, we're not actually ggs!
Also most of us are actually more like TS than crossdressers. We're not actually CROSS dressing, because we are guys! So we are just wearing whatever feels comfortable for us.
I like what John said about it's just like asking his brother why he likes being a guy. :happy:

I think that a post I put on another thread in the lounge might help explain:


From different planets?
Lol no, we are all from the same place.
There is no such thing as gender really. That's just something society has created. We're all just people. We just happen to have slightly different body parts and hormones. Other than that we're the same hehe.


Other bit:
Hey Lissa, if you don't know much about FtMs then I guess it's normal that you might assume we are gg crossdressers. Don't feel bad that you didn't realise! :hugs:

Most of us ftms are actually basically transsexual, or very close to it.
(This is because for a female-bodied person to be considered to have (any) gender issues, the issues have to be pretty hardcore, because it is so "normal" for female bodied people to wear traditionally male clothes and have "masculine" traits.)

Yes, as the others said... we are not GG's. :happy:

Some ftms don't even like the term "Ftm" because that means going FROM female to male, but lots of ftms don't feel like they were ever female in the 1st place... just male, born with the slightly wrong body. Every single person is different, and many don't mind the very commonly used term at all.
Some though, just tolerate the term out of politeness, and because a lot of (gender-uneducated...e.g most) people think that female-bodied means "female".


We are boys/men! We just happened to have a slightly wrong hormone cocktail, and accidentally grew boobs... which we all hide and most of us are planning to make go away. And a too small penis! (Which yes ... we can/will increase/correct to it's proper size.... lots of different ways of doing this - oh yes to a very good size a gm would be most proud of - but I won't bore/disturb you with all that now ;))

Oh by the way, the reason we are on a "crossdressing" site is because it seems to be more of a "transgender" site in actuality, with great people! (A range from very lighthearted crossdressers, to people with serious gender issues).
It is awesome to have a forum of likeminded people.... this is a very limited resource for FtMs, so we are very lucky to have a little home here :D

Thanks for taking an interest!

:bighug:

It does get very tiring keep having to explain ourselves to people, but if it's helpful and does some good then wicked! :thumbsup:

Hope that helped!
And feel free to post here any time you want! :rose:

[Felix]

Ya always welcome here Hun, Thanx for sharing and getting to know where we come from xx Felix :hugs:

[bi_weird]

Hah yeah Ace, I can totally connect with a lot of that. My brothers are cool with my boyish-ness but the rest of the family totally misses it. We'll be rough-housing at a family event and my aunts etc. will be like "You be careful with your sister!" Now, I may be the smallest of my siblings, but that's just 'cause we're giants. I'm six foot 145lbs. It's hard to hurt me for all I'm thin. And I've been rough-housing with my brothers my entire life. Since I got boobs, though, it's been an issue, like magically I became made of glass when that happened. Ugh.
And gifts?! Wow yeah I could write a book. For Christmas, Mom gave me four LAVENDER articles of clothing: pj pants and a shirt, a pair of underwear, and a bra. The undergarments were lacy. The pj pants had flowers on them. The shirt was tight (PJS hello?! supposed to be comfy NOT tight). See, I love purple. Mom and my ex have both assumed that it's some sort of girly thing, like pink but I'm one of 'those girls' who dislikes pink just to be different...so they like to get me all sorts of lavender stuff. Gross yuck. I like purple because it's really neat looking and because it's for bisexuals. Nothing at all feminine about it. And then there's the jewelry. For my sixteenth birthday I got a ring (with HEARTS on it), and for Christmas this year a really nice necklace. Now, I treasure them because my parents put a lot of thought into them and really thought I'd like them...but it's hard when my brothers are opening digital cameras and DVDs and I've got a box of something I didn't even really want. I hate feeling so ungrateful, but I don't want girly gifts.
ANYWAY. That's not supposed to be the content of my reply. What attracts me about being a guy. I'm going to focus on things other than what's already been stated, that I feel more comfortable when I'm presenting as less of a girl, because I'm not so much a girl.
A big part of it is the comraderie. I like the way guys interact. Always teasing each other and competing, but in the end it doesn't mean anything if you've won or lost; you'll repeat it again tomorrow and still be friends. And getting bigger than that, military things have always appealed to me, the way guys come together when they have to fight like that. I don't know if it's because they aren't given the opportunity, but girls just don't do that.
I like the simplicity of male society. If you have a problem you come right out and say it. I can't keep track of things in groups of girls - I just don't know how to do it. All that subtlety, I'm lost.
And lets face it, boy clothes are more comfortable. Especially when you're my dimensions as nothing is long enough. I'm wearing girl clothes today and this shirt is just barely long enough to reach my pants even though it's the longest shirt I own. My pants are tight around the thighs and making my legs itch. Then there's the work it takes to look 'girly', makeup and hair stuff and all that. Too much work. My boy clothes are simple and comfortable. All I have to do to look dressy is put on a tie, which takes about a minute. So very much easier.
I think that's about my whole story, at least for tonight...

[Stacy GG]

ANYWAY. That's not supposed to be the content of my reply. What attracts me about being a guy. I'm going to focus on things other than what's already been stated, that I feel more comfortable when I'm presenting as less of a girl, because I'm not so much a girl.
A big part of it is the comraderie. I like the way guys interact. Always teasing each other and competing, but in the end it doesn't mean anything if you've won or lost; you'll repeat it again tomorrow and still be friends. And getting bigger than that, military things have always appealed to me, the way guys come together when they have to fight like that. I don't know if it's because they aren't given the opportunity, but girls just don't do that.
I like the simplicity of male society. If you have a problem you come right out and say it. I can't keep track of things in groups of girls - I just don't know how to do it. All that subtlety, I'm lost.
And lets face it, boy clothes are more comfortable. Especially when you're my dimensions as nothing is long enough. I'm wearing girl clothes today and this shirt is just barely long enough to reach my pants even though it's the longest shirt I own. My pants are tight around the thighs and making my legs itch. Then there's the work it takes to look 'girly', makeup and hair stuff and all that. Too much work. My boy clothes are simple and comfortable. All I have to do to look dressy is put on a tie, which takes about a minute. So very much easier.
I think that's about my whole story, at least for tonight...

Wow, I think you hit it right on the nose.
I would not say I'm FTM but some things that other females do totally bafles me... I noticed tonight at work one of the girls who doesn't like me ( okay I'm pretty sure who it is) decided to staple my run ticket to a box of chips and then tuck the ticket under neath the box. I assume it was a girl because most guys would not be that "sneaky" with how they feel. I would know if a guy had a problem with me. But no girls have to pretend they are okay with you and then do something stupid and underhanded to show they aren't. I do Have to say I'm happy about leaving this job and going to Cheddars. I get to wear a tie and a nice long sleeve blue shirt! One thing I have never understood..why is it if a girl can lift a 5- 10 lb bag guys look at you like WTF ?!? And one of the managers ( a guy ) said something that baffled me...he said that after a girl had used the bathroom (it's unisex) that it had stunk and it totally grossed him out. what are we supposed to do..not go? "it's supposed to smell like potpouri and perfume". okay sorry not trying to intrude on the thread but wanted to toss my :2c: out there.

[Wren]

Haha and the Enigma enters..

I live most of my life as a female, and love doing it. Some people might tell me that I'm not a valid Female to Male crossdresser because of this..I disagree.

I guess I when I crossdress it is more like 'becoming' a guy, and when I do..i feel like a boy inside and out. That feeling and concept in itself make it attractive for me. It's like stretching out my limbs, and being able to exercise every aspect of my inner being.

In a not so spiritual way and in a lot more of a narcissistic way.. I get crowded by young girls a lot when I'm in drab, which on the one hand freaks me out A LOT since I am much older than they think I am. And I find myself running for the hills terrified, but I can't say I don't like getting the attention.. I love it.. The fact that they find me hot or cute...is pleasant..AND SCARY! I don't condone this behaviour..

...and on the final note.. I have a gay man fetish... I often thought when I was younger, "..dude.. i like being a heterosexual female..but sometimes I wish I had been a gay male.." and in drab i get to be that gay man within..

re-reading that..it sounds ridiculous..but that's really what it's like for me..not entirely of course, but those are some aspects of it. There's just a lot to people isn't there...

[pocoyo]

.. I get crowded by young girls a lot when I'm in drab, which on the one hand freaks me out A LOT since I am much older than they think I am. And I find myself running for the hills terrified, but I can't say I don't like getting the attention.. I love it.. The fact that they find me hot or cute...is pleasant..AND SCARY! I don't condone this behaviour..

Hehehe I know the feeling.
On the one hand it's really flattering... but on the other hand it's like "I'm 20 something... not 16... I'm not some sort of perv!" :o

.

Btw it's really cool to meet an actual FtM crossdresser, even though I KNEW they must exist! Nice to meet you hehe.
I've only ever met transexual, or verging on transexual ftm's before. Pretty neat that you live as a female and like it!! but sometimes crossdress as a boy! :D :thumbsup:
Wicked :cool:

(Ahh the joy of both genders with no body dysphoria... how wonderful!)

[Edit: Hmmm but then thinking about it... if, when you're a guy your inner being is released and your limbs are stretched (which I really loved your description of and identified with).... are you sure you're NOT a gay man with a lady's body (who enjoy's gender-play)? I have felt very similar to you before. Hmmm. It's a confusing one! :yikes: Oh but then there's the whole "well you know yourself and the truth deep inside" thing. So if you say you're a girl... you're a girl! But it's just interesting what you said about becoming a guy and the comfort and freedom it gives you. But then it also sounds quite similar to some mtfs who are happy being men but crossdress... Hmmmmm now my brain hurts! And there was me thinking I was having a rest from puzzling so hard about gender hehehe.
Sorry... I'm waffling (no change there then!) 'cos I'm in a hurry to get to work. I think you'll get the general idea though hehe :heehee::o]

[Leah B]

Yeah, Ace, I've seen it happen before. We'll be playing a game of basketball, and a girl will join in. People always play her differently. It's like they're letting her take open Js. And they'll only stop her from driving if they can do so without body contact. I don't know if this irritates her, but it's irritating just to be around. It's like they're playing against a child. And even then, sometimes people will play harder against young boys, especially if they're good (I played this kid who KNEW he had more energy than me. He just ran around all over the place and wore me down until he just get open at will. Tricky little *******).

Last time I was playing a girl, I got right up on her. Gave her the same hand and arm checks I'd give a guy, and it's a good thing too. She could make open shots all day if you let her. She didn't seem to mind. The other guys didn't seem to mind.

How do people react when you tell them to play you like you'd play a dude? Do they say they will but don't? Do they act funny?

Sportiness is one of my favorite things about being a guy. I envy all kinds of girl stuff, but I don't think I'll ever want to play team sports en femme. Maybe if I was into gymnastics or figure skating. Those suck much worse for guys.

[sparro]

I look more attractive as a boy *shrug* Honestly, my frame is square like and bulky, I'm slightly too tall to be a lady, and aside from my little red lips (damn them!) I feel fairly comfortable dressed as a man, acting as a man, and being precieved by others as male (it really feels more....fun?).

I just feel more comfortable this way.. everything fits right...it's kind of a hard feeling to describe, but I'm sure a lot of people here would understand.

The funny thing is, though, if I were to actually be male, I think my female side would be coming out a lot more (ie: I'm the eternal crossdresser. Woo)

[Wren]

... are you sure you're NOT a gay man with a lady's body (who enjoy's gender-play)? I have felt very similar to you before. Hmmm. It's a confusing one! Oh but then there's the whole "well you know yourself and the truth deep inside" thing.

haha..who knows. I'm not one to rule out the possibilities.

For now though, I have put some thought into it, and I'm too comfortable with the way that I indentify to consider myself trapped in a woman's body. Being a girl feels natural, it feels just as right as everything else feels, but it really does feel like my default setting.

hope that answers your question

[pocoyo]

*moseys back into the thread*



The funny thing is, though, if I were to actually be male, I think my female side would be coming out a lot more (ie: I'm the eternal crossdresser. Woo)

Hehe me too!
I often feel like I am actually a mtf occasional crossdresser, who's happy being male, yet enjoys sometimes dressing to be feminine, but who happened to be born with a female body hehe (much to Kieron's puzzlement hehehe).


hope that answers your question
Yeah it does!!
Awww I'm so glad for you that you feel completely happy/comfortable with the body you have, that's so flippin' awesome :hugs:

*wanders back off smiling*

[Question Mark]

Same here, Poc and Sparro. I also occasionally crossdress. The female clothing is always more of a costume than anything else, but it can still be fun every once in a while. Like a game of "How Attractive of a Woman Would I Make?"

[mistunderstood]

The fact that as a guy I feel like a whole person not half of a person. As a woman I do not feel right in my own skin. They say god does not make junk but as a woman I feel as a piece of junk, defective in every way. As a male I feel as I do have a place in this world and I am not junk. When I am stuck wearing female clothing I feel like i am crossdressing then, but when I wear my male clothing it feels right.

Hope that helps answer your question.

[Spoofehness]

I'm bi but I lean towards women. And a lot of women say that they want a prince to treat them like a princess. Well I know men like that don't really exist, but I like to play that sort of guy. The one who takes their girl up in their arms, waltzes and uses flowery language to cheer their girl up. It feels childish sometimes but I want to be a prince who saves princesses.

[pocoyo]

Same here, Poc and Sparro. I also occasionally crossdress. The female clothing is always more of a costume than anything else, but it can still be fun every once in a while. Like a game of "How Attractive of a Woman Would I Make?"

Haha yeah exactly!


I'm bi but I lean towards women. And a lot of women say that they want a prince to treat them like a princess. Well I know men like that don't really exist, but I like to play that sort of guy. The one who takes their girl up in their arms, waltzes and uses flowery language to cheer their girl up. It feels childish sometimes but I want to be a prince who saves princesses.

Awww that's nice. Actually I think that's cool.
I too sometimes dream of being a sort of dashing rescuer type! (Although I dunno about waltzing! haha!) How romantic :happy:

[MoonBaby GG]

Genderqueer and a tomboy over here. If I may be so bold as include my thoughts? I happily fall somewhere in the middle of both sexes...womanly body...male mind. My behaviors lean towards the masculine realm but I've been environmentally conditioned from birth to be a female...so things skew depending on the situation/subject. Luckily I "fit in" with both tribes.

[Cai]

I guess...I'm attracted to being a guy because I'm more comfortable that way. The world just makes more sense. I take better care of myself. I like myself better. I have times when I actually think I might be attractive. And trust me when I say that "How Attractive a Woman Am I?" game is no fun when your mental answer is always "not at all." But as a guy I can let go of that, and just be me.

[CaptLex]

I'm bi but I lean towards women. And a lot of women say that they want a prince to treat them like a princess. Well I know men like that don't really exist, but I like to play that sort of guy. The one who takes their girl up in their arms, waltzes and uses flowery language to cheer their girl up. It feels childish sometimes but I want to be a prince who saves princesses.
Wow, Spoof . . . I don't think I've ever heard a guy say that before. It's kinda cool, and I'm sure there are a bunch of women who would line up for that princely treatment - at least judging from the ones I've heard say so. :happy:


Genderqueer and a tomboy over here. If I may be so bold as include my thoughts? I happily fall somewhere in the middle of both sexes...womanly body...male mind. My behaviors lean towards the masculine realm but I've been environmentally conditioned from birth to be a female...so things skew depending on the situation/subject. Luckily I "fit in" with both tribes.
Your thoughts are most welcome, MoonBaby. I can certainly relate to what you're saying - and I know I'm not the only one. I knew I liked you . . . anyone that quotes Johnny Depp can't be half bad. :D


I guess...I'm attracted to being a guy because I'm more comfortable that way. The world just makes more sense. I take better care of myself. I like myself better. I have times when I actually think I might be attractive. And trust me when I say that "How Attractive a Woman Am I?" game is no fun when your mental answer is always "not at all." But as a guy I can let go of that, and just be me.
Well said, Cai . . . I feel exactly the same way. :thumbsup:

[Leah B]

Who DOESN'T want to be treated like royalty? Ignoring the gender component, I think everyone would like to be pampered sometimes.

[Kieron Andrew]

Wow, Spoof . . . I don't think I've ever heard a guy say that before. It's kinda cool, and I'm sure there are a bunch of women who would line up for that princely treatment - at least judging from the ones I've heard say so. :happy:

Yes you have, me?, that is exactly the kind of man i am.....i love doing the whole flowers, chocolates, help a girl in need, protector treatment thing! always have

[CaptLex]

Yes you have, me?, that is exactly the kind of man i am.....i love doing the whole flowers, chocolates, help a girl in need, protector treatment thing! always have
So chivalry is not dead? Man, why couldn't you guys be gay? ;)

[Kieron Andrew]

So chivalry is not dead?
nope its not when it comes to me......sorry dude girls only here lol:hugs:

[pocoyo]

So chivalry is not dead? Man, why couldn't you guys be gay? ;)

*coughs loudly*

[CaptLex]

*coughs loudly*
Yes, purser . . . ? Speak up, man! Are you trying to tell us you're a prince too? :happy:

[pocoyo]

Yes, purser . . . ? Speak up, man! Are you trying to tell us you're a prince too? :happy:

Yus :) And I like-a tha boys.... :D

[CaptLex]

Yus :) And I like-a tha boys.... :D

Oh cool . . . so where are my chocolates? And why aren't you holding that door for me? Snap to, sailor! Woo away . . . :heehee:

[Nat]

For me there's nothing that presenting as male that attracts me per say, it's just that it makes me feel normal, like it's how I'm supposed to be. I mean there's times when I can live with presenting as female, but then other times it damn near kills me inside to do so.

It'd help if I actually passed at all as male, but nope, everyone just assumes I'm a woman in mens clothing. Makes me feel like crap, like whatever I do isn't going to be enough, like I'm some little kid playing dress up or something. Maybe that's all I am really, idk.

[weirdalchemy]

Not having boobs. I don't know about anyone else but I have a really visceral feeling of "this isn't me" whenever I see them in the mirror or touch them on accident.

Boobs on other people are fine :)

[bi_weird]

Duuude new boy! Go post an intro thread so we can say hello proper!

[Devon James]

When I dress as a man I feel a lot better, more confident and more me.
Sometimes "the player" comes out, I love to flirt and I love women so when I'm more confident it's easier and I get more reactions too.

On the other hand, I mostly don't mind having a female body but I certainly don't feel like a woman (I also hate some typical female-things like a period). I think I'm somewhere in between, I'm not a woman and I'm not a real man. With the CD I can be in the middle, being a lesbian with male looks. It works for me...

First time I try to put it into words, if it sounds crap I'm sorry. I'm difficult with words anyway :S

[John]

(I also hate some typical female-things like a period)

every single ftm or gg I've ever met in the world ever hates periods. they're just ikky

[happyfish]

wierdalchemy: I would love to just... not have boobs. At all.
John: There are actually some gg's out there that love their periods. I was on another message board and someone made a thread on how much she feels empowered or something and lights red candles and writes poetry during her period or something. And others came along and agreed! I really didn't get it.

[Lovely Rita]

Thanks for getting the courage to give us a post. I'm going to try and answer your question as best I can.

For me dressing in a more masculine way is a way of expressing how I feel as a person. I think of myself as gender queer and not just a cross dresser. So for me, dressing in a more masculine or neutral way is the only way that I can show my real gender identity which is about 85% male to 15% female.

On an even more personal level, to me I always associate the perfect magazine model body and shy dainty behavior with being a woman. For years and in some cases even now when presenting as female I am always conscious of my weight (188 pounds, I'm only giving my true size so people will see that I'm not stick thin and just think I'm fat) and to me I can't feel feminine with a large body. Also in almost all of my relationships I am the dominant party. I am aggressive, controlling and even possessive. Putting on a dress and makeup just doesn't work for me with that combination.
When I'm presenting as a man, I don't feel the constant bother of people measuring me up to be thin and perfect. Plus being aggressive seems to be accepted better coming from a man. So dressing in mens fashion allows me the freedoms to be who I am and not feel bad about it.
It's a long winded answer to your question and as a final note for anyone reading this. The things I have stated above are my own personal opinions. I know almost everyone struggles with if they are thin enough or look pretty but, from what I have been exposed to, you can be heavy as a man and as long as you have good hygiene and are not a complete slob most people seem to accept a mans weight without it being an issue. So I don't want a ton of replies stating that I'm wrong about how people are judged on their looks.


I really appreciated reading your reply to the thread. I know every one has their various reasons just like we do in MTF. I also found the ratio of male to female scale you proposed quite fascinating.
I love learning about others. I am quite an enigma even to myself and I am always happy to know more about my neighbors. :love:

[bi_weird]

John: There are actually some gg's out there that love their periods. I was on another message board and someone made a thread on how much she feels empowered or something and lights red candles and writes poetry during her period or something. And others came along and agreed! I really didn't get it.

Dude I know! I've been reading up on the new kinds of birth control, that make you have four or zero periods a year. Sounds wonderful to me, but there's this whole movement of women who think it's terrible because they find menstrual cycles this empowering female thing! Sooooo weird. Mine's just gross and painful.

[Sallee]

Some really good responses I'll admit they were pretty much what I expected and I think it might be the same for me going from M to F just change the pronoun and a few of the adjactives I will go with pretty as opposed to strong.
ONe thing I found strange awhile back I was surfing around the net and came a cross an F to M accessories page and I startd to think it was weird which is weird for me with a draw full of fake boobs and padded panties etc. So I don't want to be the pot calling the kettle black.
WE are what we are lets have fun and enjoy :2c: Sallee

[MJ]

Btw, I know its sooo confusing, but, we're not actually ggs!
Also most of us are actually more like TS than cross dressers. We're not actually CROSS dressing, because we are guys! So we are just wearing whatever feels comfortable for us.

now hang on just a minute there poc you were born a girl so there for you are a gg .. and in theory you could join the gg section if you want .. were as i can't but as i am a gg according to my brain but have the wrong body parts ... in the end i love you all because you respect each and everyone of us for who we are
OK i need a drink were is the rum


[QUOTE]Gender-queer and a tomboy over here. If I may be so bold as include my thoughts? I happily fall somewhere in the middle of both sexes...womanly body...male mind. My behaviors lean towards the masculine realm but I've been environmentally conditioned from birth to be a female...so things skew depending on the situation/subject. Luckily I "fit in" with both tribes.

and you have a wonderful mtf as a mate don't you find that odd



Yes you have, me?, that is exactly the kind of man i am.....i love doing the whole flowers, chocolates, help a girl in need, protector treatment thing! always have

oh one day my prince will come.. PS i like dark chocolates



So chivalry is not dead? Man, why couldn't you guys be gay? ;)

sorry capt i guess there all mine. but i would like to know if you guys find a woman it's not gay.. but if you guys like guys would that be gay? i am sorry i should not put labels no us ... as a t-girl and i like a t-girl then if i love that person does it matter


[QUOTE]every single ftm or gg I've ever met in the world ever hates periods. they're just ikky

well i can understand that part .. it's not a guy thing we have to put up with and we can't understand how you feel about it ...
just for the record i would like to just once go through it to experience it just once ...but i guess it would go with the territory :heehee:


[QUOTE]I really appreciated reading your reply to the thread. I know every one has their various reasons just like we do in MTF. I also found the ratio of male to female scale you proposed quite fascinating.
I love learning about others.

yes thank you for helping me understand more about you ..

in the end i said this before i love you all because you respect each and everyone for who we are a person regardless of our birth gender

[Dasein9]

now hang on just a minute there poc you were born a girl so there for you are a gg ..

NO. Pocoyo is not a girl, therefore he is not a GG. There's a pretty darned significant difference between being a female-bodied person and being a girl or a woman.

[MJ]

OK thank you now i know BTW got a soft cushion

[bi_weird]

NO. Pocoyo is not a girl, therefore he is not a GG. There's a pretty darned significant difference between being a female-bodied person and being a girl or a woman.
Gah honestly I'd just like to weigh in and say GG/GM are confusing terms. Took me ages to figure out to whom they apply, and even now I get mixed up sometimes. For a while I thought GG was anyone who was born into a female body, no matter their gender identity. Took me a while to figure out that's not it.

[CaptLex]

sorry capt i guess there all mine. but i would like to know if you guys find a woman it's not gay.. but if you guys like guys would that be gay? i am sorry i should not put labels no us ... as a t-girl and i like a t-girl then if i love that person does it matter
All yours, huh? Well, I'd say that makes you a lucky girl, MJ. :heehee:

As to your question . . . I'll only answer for me (though I know many that feel the same way) . . . yes, as a guy that likes guys, I do consider myself a gay man. Well, a gay transman, that is - very similar to a gay man (in my opinion), but with minor differences. Well, maybe not that "minor" to some. ;)

[Felix]

Ok this thread is really interesting. Like Moon baby I regard myself as having both sides but I do fall quite strongly to the male side of things. I think I may have more testosterone that most GG's and that's my hormones plus my mind that makes me feel manly. So where does that leave me genetically well I won't know unless I take a test maybe. I'm not inter-sexed. As far as I know I have been born a genetic female so therefore it is mentally and hormonally that makes me feel the way I do. So where do the genetics come in to make who I am i.e queer? xx Felix :hugs:

Not really looked that up properly so would that make a huge difference to me?

[Kieron Andrew]

now hang on just a minute there poc you were born a girl so there for you are a gg .. and in theory you could join the gg section if you want
I wasn't gonna answer this, cos i was actually appalled and quite angry by your way of thinking MJ, but i couldnt just leave it, you yourself have openly admitted you are TS, therefore you are male bodied female!.....just like Poc and some of the other guys here, to say that an FTM is just a GG is soooo wrong, being trans isn't as binary as that! and you know it!

Oh and to answer your other question, I sexually like women so therefore because i am TS, ie i see myself as male, then i am a straight man

[crazy4cheezeits]

I don't know as far as genetically; I was definitely born completely female and am quite female as far as my physical characteristics go.

It's not really something I can explain well though. When I'm crossdressing or being perceived as a guy I feel really comfortable with myself. I feel really awkward and out of place when people are viewing me as a girl. I think it's because I think of myself as a guy so when I'm trying to act like a girl I feel like I'm lying to people and that makes me uncomfortable.

[Stacy GG]

every single ftm or gg I've ever met in the world ever hates periods. they're just ikky

Hmm..ikky new word..I just usually think annoying but that works as well.

There are actually some gg's out there that love their periods. I was on another message board and someone made a thread on how much she feels empowered or something and lights red candles and writes poetry during her period or something. And others came along and agreed! I really didn't get it.

wow, I'd have to agree I don't get that either. I usually feel more tired and like I need lots of hot baths so I feel less Ikky. ( see using it already :P)

[caderemington]

sorry capt i guess there all mine. but i would like to know if you guys find a woman it's not gay.. but if you guys like guys would that be gay? i am sorry i should not put labels no us ... as a t-girl and i like a t-girl then if i love that person does it matter


I'm in a relationship with a woman who considers herself a lesbian, but she's dating me. Technically I would be considered a straight male, but for some reason I don't want to be considered straight. Usually I call myself a male lesbian when I have to put a label on it.


off topic: I got the quote thingy to work!!!! WOOOHOO! This calls for a celebration of rum!

[Felix]

Hi Cade I know exactly where ya coming from cos I am in a long term 6yr relationship with a woman and I still feel spiritually that I'm Lesbian but extremely queer in that mentally I feel male and I want to pass as male. In societies eyes I would be a straight male but don't feel like this because of my lesbian spirit which is my female side I guess xx Felix :hugs:

[bi_weird]

off topic: I got the quote thingy to work!!!! WOOOHOO! This calls for a celebration of rum!
Dude, I get excited every time I manage to make that work right!

[lostinspace]

For me, if I wake up in the morning, roll out of bed, only throw on some clothes and run to the gas station for whatever I forgot to get at the store, the clerks always stammer amazed if I speak because it becomes obvious I'm not a guy. I don't speak very often so usually they never know and refer to me as sir. That's me in my most natural, effortless state. Now if I want to be perceived as a female I really have to work at it. It takes a bit of time to draw on eyeliner and find a shirt small enough to show I have breasts. But even then I'm not naturally very femme and the harder I try, the more I come across as a gay guy. I think what I'm trying to say is that guy is something that I effortlessly appear as whereas girl (even though I have the required parts and voice) is something I have to dress for, work at and be very conscious about to succeed at.

And there is so much about being a female I can't stand. Even though I think of myself as a boi. Everyone who knows me refuses to see that, so around familiar people I get treated like a girl unfortunately.

For instance, no one listens to you. If a problem arises wherever, I am generally the first person with the most practical solution and even though I tell people what that solution may be no one listens until some guy presents the same solution a bit later. It is more than annoying.

I have co-worker's that regard me as having what they call "stupid strength" meaning it doesn't occur to me that I'm too little to accomplish the things that I do. I guess to them seeing a person with sticks for arms lift something over their head that normally takes two fit guys is amazing but the truth is I'm just good at problem solving and have learned to use my body as a whole machine. True, I do lift very heavy things but they are so busy being amazed that they don't see that I always bring the item onto my knee then use my leg with my arms to hoist the item up. This makes me a freak but if they were to perceive me as a guy then doing this would be a good thing. Doing such things brings about feelings of being competent and independent which I love.

I've not been permitted to answer the phone at work for years because I always ended up in arguments with people calling wanting to speak with the owner and when I explain that the owner isn't there at the moment they'd want to know when he'd be back. Who said the owner was a he?! Grrr. (Well that, and I have the world's worst ability at taking messages "Hey someone who's name that sounded like it rhymed with cabbage called today. Sorry, but I couldn't really hear.")

And as others mentioned there is that whole period thing. The worst part (and I may be the only one with this) is that for two weeks a month (a week prior) my energy level drops to 25% which almost makes a tree stump more active and motivated than I. So 50% of my adult life I am entirely unproductive and not inclined to do anything I love like fight training or drumming etc. I truly despise that effect because when I do get back into doing those things I'm nearly right back where I started which makes them seem almost useless.

I can go on and on about this. My point is that being female bodied and perceived as female gets in the way of and conflicts with who I am. When I dress in drag and go somewhere and people (who don't know me) see me and respect me as a guy and expect that I am completely able to accomplish things and have a keen and accurate thinking process, it temporarily eliminates the overwhelming obstacles I am otherwise always imprisoned by. It is an awesome freedom to be good enough just being me. In those moments for just a little while I am not a freak being a female that isn't feminine. Well, that's until someone figures it out then that starts a whole different set of problems.

[John]

off topic: I got the quote thingy to work!!!! WOOOHOO! This calls for a celebration of rum!

ah, I see you're geting the hang of this place already :devil:

[CaptLex]

My point is that being female bodied and perceived as female gets in the way of and conflicts with who I am. When I dress in drag and go somewhere and people (who don't know me) see me and respect me as a guy and expect that I am completely able to accomplish things and have a keen and accurate thinking process, it temporarily eliminates the overwhelming obstacles I am otherwise always imprisoned by. It is an awesome freedom to be good enough just being me. In those moments for just a little while I am not a freak being a female that isn't feminine. Well, that's until someone figures it out then that starts a whole different set of problems.
Hey, Marshall, thanks for the background - I feel I know you a little better now. And I can assure you you're not alone in your thinking. I can definitely relate to everything you said in the paragraph above - especially the part I highlighted. That's it, in a nutshell for me. :yt:

[Cai]

I'd like to add something to what I said before.

When I'm out as a guy, I don't have to smile at everyone. I like that. I'm a smiley person by nature, and if I see something that makes me happy, I'll smile at it. But girls are supposed to walk around smiling, and people will tell girls to smile when they aren't. Nobody expects a guy to smile all the time. So it frees me up to relax a little bit, and just feel neutral instead of trying to force the happiness all the time. And I think my moods are more stable for it.