Can trauma trigger latent TG feelings?

[Maggie Kay]

Partly because of recent events in Virginia, I have been looking back at my life and have seen that significant traumatic events have seemed to coincide with increased TG feelings. I had several major catastrophes a few years back and they sent me packing. At the same time, my feelings of gender confusion came on big time. My ability to be the "man" in my family has almost disappeared. I read somewhere that trauma can release psychological tendencies that might not otherwise be expressed. I am now wondering if I should give myself some slack (relative to TG) due to the barrage of awful things I had to endure. Can anyone relate?

[AllieSF]

Interesting question. I only started dressing completely in the last few months. 19 months ago I had my prostatre removed due to cancer. Then later I lost a girlfriend due to my non-functioning parts resulting from the operation and my diminishing sexual urges for her. Prior to all that, I always liked and occasionally used women's panties, but never completely dressed. Now I am trying to perfect my look to go out. Your question is making me think more about my "why".

[kerrianna]

I think trauma can trigger lots of stuff. We are very complex beings, especially if we are in any way outside society's 'norms'. Carol's cancer diagnosis seems to have accelerated my path for some reason. Not sure why. That's one of the reasons I'm seeing a therapist these days. :p

If you've felt disconnected (and some of us don't even realize we feel that way, just that something's not quite right) then when trauma hits it can be hard to have the confidence and self-belief that you can handle it. One thing I've found is that knowing and accepting myself better has helped me deal with crap. I guess because by knowing myself better, the true me, I forgive and love myself more, and it allows me to feel more relaxed to take on things. I don't beat myself up over mistakes or misteps and instead find forgiveness. That leads to an openess to take risks. I never had that before, at least not as easily.

So yes Kay, do cut yourself some slack. Love yourself, and love who you are and will be. The closer you come into touch with your core identity the easier it will be to 'know' what to do, and the more confident you will be. All of us are heroes. We just do it to our strengths. Sometimes what we think is our strength isn't and so we set ourself up by acting against our nature. The more you know yourself the more you'll recognize where you truly are strong.
:hugs: :love:

[melissaK]

Uh, oh, "Danger Will Robinson, Danger!" It's a cause of CD/TG/TS question!

I thought it was fairly accepted that at times of personal stress we CDers CD, or we MTF's move toward our F personas. I thought that one point of counselling (seeing a therapist) was to help sort out stress caused behaviors vs more permananet feelings of TSism.

IMHO I think we CDers and MTF's tend to have skewed emotionally wiring. We tend to be sensitive, and to associate emotions with feminity, not masculinity. So, when bad things happen to us or happen in the world in a way that evokes emotion within us, we CD or we move to our F personaes for comfort - it's the only way we know how to experience emotions. OK, that is all based upon my conclusions about me, and I am projecting that personal experience onto the group - not a wise thing. Hence - "Danger Will Robinson, Danger!"

So, rather than me write more BS, go get a copy of "Transgender Emergence" (Arlene Lev 2004) and read Part II, pp. 113-146, "Etiologies: Causes and Cures," where she reviews the many competing theories and explanations. Pick a favorite. Heck, pick two - - there are plenty to go around. Then continue reading into Part III "Treatment Issues," pp185-269.

Along the way you will find many nuggets like: "The goals of therapy are to help the person live more comfortably within a gender identity and to deal effectively with non-gender issues. (Meyer, 2001, p. 18)"

And I am sorry to hear about your personal stresses. Like my favorite aunt always said: "Now, now Dear, don't you worry. This too shall pass."

Hugs,
'lissa
__________________________________________________ ___
"Life by the yard is hard, by the inch its a cinch!"

[Ally Lynn]

That is what happen to me. Last year I had 2 cardiac stents, and a very bad case of Diverticulitis (holes in my colon). Just brought out buried feeling and and the want to be femme. I was also having Menopause like symptoms from the stress also. As soon as I admitted this to myself and others, all started to go right. Sickness gone away, lost 20 lbs. want to change me employment situation (with even thing of going back to school). I know am on HRT 2 week and loving everything. The biggest change is what my friends and family say to me "YOU SOUND OR LOOK HAPPY" and my answer is yes.

Ally :happy:

[Lisa Maren]

Hi Kay

Reading your post has made something click for me -- and it's similar to what you've described. I started questioning my gender over the last year or more (possibly longer than that on a subconscious or denial level). The thing is, I was laid off in mid-2005. Ever since, I've been feeling stressed about trying to rebuild my life and move on (and the stress began building up in late 2005/early 2006 when the job search was still turning up nothing after all those months. I'm in grad school now (my first year) and I just started seeing a gender specialist in March this year. It seems I'm experiencing something similar to what you've described.

I guess at these times when we're (basically) forced to reexamine everything the process of soul-searching for the strength to move on (and for answers, too) brings all of this out of us.

Oh and one other thing -- I've never really felt like a man (everything about men just seems unfamiliar to me).

Thanks for posting!

Hugs,
Lisa

[MarinaTwelve200]

It really may not be "Gender confusion", so much as a desire to ESCAPE FROM ONE'S SELF. Yes, I realize that in some folks there IS a gender thing going on and that may be agrivated by trauma. But as an "escapist" type of CDer myself, I can very much SEE why an unpleasant, life changing trauma would be a very good reason to want to escape, or get away from one's life and self.

Us escapist CDers see ourselves as confident, well adjusted hetro males, but have discovered a way to temporally "exit" our identity and take a vacation from our real selves (and also the "pressures" of manhood). While some of us become actors, dressing like OTHER men, dressing like a WOMAN is MOST effective. After all what could me a more remote alter identity than another person who is also a woman?---The effect is very relaxing and the ultimate stress reliever.

I can easily see why victims of personal TRAUMA might also lapse into this escape method (CD). As to it being related to "gender confusion"---It might likely be due only to a mis-understanding of whats going on here (why do I want to dress as a WOMAN?)

Unless these feelings have been with you all your life, consider the possibility that gender is not the real issue here, but is an associated 'tool' to help you ESCAPE from your SELF and the burden of your problems.---escape, not gender may be the real issue.