Feelings developing

[KateW]

Hi girls,

Sorry I haven't been about or posting in a while but I moved house last month and have been devoting every spare minute to cleaning and gardening.

Anyway, here is the reason for my post... I'm not sure if it's because I am now totally at peace with who I am, or have just stopped worrying what other people think so much, but I am starting to be far less careful when dressing. Before I would almost act like a security guard in the house and make sure all the doors are closed and curtains sealed before changing clothes, and now I'm not. For many years, the only outwardly visible signs were my shaped eyebrows and earrings. Now I have grown my hair down to shoulder length (something I'm REALLY excited about), and have continued shaving my legs in the summer months. While this is certainly not as brave as many of you who venture out fully dressed on a regular basis, I still feel a change within me that almost wants to tell the whole world about it.

There have also been a lot of programs on UK television lately covering crossdressers and transexuals (the best of which being about Lucy Parker - feel free to PM me for more details). Just tonight I watched a program about crossdressers (including ones with accepting girlfriends!) entering their version of Miss World. It is refreshing to see, and great to be able to watch with my wife without feeling uncomfortable.

Anyway, I'm not sure how these feelings in me will continue to develop, but in a way I hope I continue to push my own boundries, and challenge others level of acceptance. Sorry if I rambled at all there, but I have this sort of invigorating feeling in me that I'm not really sure how to put into words.

Anyway, take care,

Kate xxxx

[linnea]

Since I have not told anyone about my crossdressing (except for a little bit of information that I've given my grown daughter), I'm not in position to say much about that. However, I am familiar with the impulse to "tell the world" or at least to tell someone. It's as if we feel a need to "do something about it" (fix it, change it, explain it, etc.). In fact, I don't think that we need to do something about it at all, but the feeling is there anyway.
Your longer hair and shaven legs are qualities that contribute to your fem presentation of yourself. I think that you should enjoy them and not worry about explaining or doing anything else about them. If they are dramatic changes in your appearance, as I imagine they are, you will get questions. You should probably think carefully about how you will respond to those questions, but your responses do not necessarily have to be--unless you choose them to be--disclosures about your crossdressing. Lots of people wear their hair long and shave various parts of their body hair without being crossdressers.
In the final analysis, it all depends on you and what you want to do.
Good luck!

[paulaN]

when I started reading your post. I thought ya it's easy when your not married. then at the end you said you were married. Well I'll tell ya my wife does not like my new found acceptance of myself and my x-dressing very much. I too am felling the same as you I have kept my legs shaved all year long. I am not nearly as concerned about what other people think and I seem to be more bold in many ways. however my wife is still in the (what will others think) mode. where as I don't care any more. I live in a very small town. I hope I survive, and not cause my wife too much embarrassment.

[Samantha B L]

Hi Kate,I used to see your posts once in awhile a long time ago when I was lurking in the corners with one of those webtvs and I didn't know how to work the links and urls.It sounds like your present life circumstances are in an upsurge of hopefulness.I hope it lasts and that things stay jubilant.It sounds to me like you have learned the secret of "I don't care what people think". Of course there are times when you have to consider what other people are thinking and feeling and we all have to do some order taking and order giving in life but I'm really talking now about the trappings of CD/TG stuff,shopping,shaving our legs and growing our hair.Sooner or later we have to stop concerning ourselves about what the neighbors might think.I'm not as experienced a CD'r as some of the other girls in the forum but these are just a few thoughts.

[marie354]

I'd love to be able to go outside and holler... "HAY ISN'T THIS A NICE DRESS?"

I'll admit, I'm chicken... I just can't bring myself to do that.

I do cross-dress everyday now, even when outside, but you really can't tell as I usually wear jeans when I go anywhere. They are women's jeans that I get a little smaller so my rear will fill them out. (I hate not having a butt! But what can I do, I was born without one.)

I'm not what I'll do when the weather gets warmer. Maybe I'll be out to enough people by then that it won't matter what I wear.

I have always kept my legs shaved. No one really notices or cares. Someone asked once and I told them that it's a shame getting old... You lose hair where it used to be and start growing it in off places... Like your ears and nipples. (I usually nick them unless I use an electric razor or a cream. Ouch! Nothing worse than a nicked nipple.)

Any, I hope that I can go out and about freely eventually. There are a lot that are already out there, you know. We read about their adventures here all the time. And that's just the ones that are members.

:hugs:

[Charleen]

I'm there with ya. I've been learning to keep the "I don't give a sh!t" switch on.Long hair and nails, hoop earrings, jewelry, mascara, shaved at all times even when I have to play Charlie. Add eye shadow when not at work. Just getting comfortable with the real me after a millenium of denial.
Love and xxxx, Lily

[Kelsy]

I'd love to be able to go outside and holler... "HAY ISN'T THIS A NICE DRESS?"
:hugs:

I'd love to holler back " CUTE DRESS MARIE ";)

:hugs: Jennifer

[deniedtoo]

Hi Kate,

It sounds like you are about 1/2 to a full step ahead of me, with more aspirations than I do atm to take the next step. I still run around like a security guard getting setup for LOCKDOWN before I dress, but I have been keeping my legs, and arms shaved all the time. I pierced my ears a week and a half ago, and no one has even said a word... excpet my wife... who said "why?" (she doesn't know I cd, and I am away from home for work right now).

I walk the dog with shorts, and no one even takes a 2nd look at my shaved legs. They don't know if I have really light hair (i'm dirty blonde on top), or if I just have never had hair.

What I'm afraid of, is the one day, when I just decide to go outside, and head downtown shopping en femme. I'm prone to taking giant leaps, instead of small steps.. at least at most other aspects in my life.

Denied

[Sapphire]

As regards letting our hair grow long and trimming our eyebrows etc. if we are fairminded and responsible people in the way we lead our lives then it should not make that much difference to others if we feminise ourselves in some ways. The zeitgeist at present does not seem to be partial to men who have a feminine side but nature abounds in diversity and transgendered men are just part of that diversity.

[KateW]

Thanks for all your comments so far girls. :-)

[kerrianna]

Hi Kate, I think each of us has their own journey that we take in unique ways. At some points the journey speeds up, other times slows down, for various reasons. Sometimes we try to get things moving again by pushing a little further.

In my case I find myself doing all sorts of little things that are a combination of 'I want to be outed and get on with it' and 'I do this because I think I should be allowed to and don't care what others think'. This weekend I decided to leave my pink nail polish on one pinky finger (and all my nails are pretty long and femme now anyway) when I visited my family, knowing full well that I could have to deal with someone noticing and saying something. I did this with my SO's blessing. Well, my younger brother eventually did notice and said, "Did you paint your fingernail with pink polish?" I looked at it and then at him and said, "Apparently I did." And I left it at that because it wasn't the right time to tell more. He just looked at his own hand and said "hmmm, which one was it?" Like he wanted to do it lol.

So I'm leaving all these clues, but at the same time it's because I want to keep reminders of who I really am close at hand (like 'triggers'). I figure by the time I do fully reveal my story, my friends and family will say, "Oh yeah, we thought something was up."

In the meantime, I'm enjoying the journey. It is invigourating accepting who we are and daring to show it to the world. :hugs: :love:

[KateW]

absolutely. The world will only begin to change its attitude if we help it to. Apparently in Thailand, transexuals / crossdressers are treated like a third sex, and no one bats an eyelid at them anymore. Hmm... I think I might suggest going there on holiday! Anybody fancy coming along?

[Marcie Sexton]

Same thing here...

I went through that stage, as a matter of fact, a while before I was ever truthful with my wife.I came out to my neice about my dressing. she was really cool about it too...

I still believe there will come a day when we are accepted in main stream society...I may never see it, but I'm sure it will happen...