Are We As Crossdressers Paranoid - Read On Pls

[Vicky_Scot]

I read a post on a site somewhere and the poster was saying that it is us as crossdressers wether we are out dressed or just out in male mode buying clothes, lingerie etc that are paranoid that people are watching us.

And I really think that there is a lot of truth in that.

I remember going out in the winter in some nice lingerie under a top with a jumper/sweater and jeans on and a big thick winter jacket and I was indeed going about as if people had x-ray eyes and could see through all my layers and see what I was wearing. :rolleyes: Silly me.

Do you agree?

[Tamera]

Some of us do 1/2 dress. Sometimes we do this because we want to shop for female clothes and we want to try them on in the store but we don't want to go through the time of makeup. So we will wear a bra and breastforms and then cover that up with a baggy shirt or wear pantyhose under jeans so we can try skirts on.

Now to the average person you can get away with this. But people in this line of life or know about it also know that we dress like this. Or if you happen to have your fingernails done while half dressed.

So this could be why you see things the way you do.
LOL
Tamera

[Valerie Nicole]

I agree. We tend to be so protective of our secrets that we protect them far more than we need to. I remember that before I started coming out to people, I tried to give as little indication of my love for women's clothes as possible. One time I was at the mall with a GG friend who was shopping for bras, and she wanted me to feel the fabric on one of the bras. I was so afraid of her figuring out that I liked the feel of bras that I actually wouldn't bring myself to touch it. Looking back on it, I realize that was probably more suspicious than if I had actually bought a bra in the store.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Yes, I agree with you. I consider myself the poster child for the paranoid deeply closeted crossdresser. While shopping for fem items with my wife I get uneasy and nervous to the point where I drive her crazy. I usually go into another city to shop as well, and this all in male mode. I guess it all stems from the other paranoid belief that if outed I'll be fired from my job, and disowned by my family and friennds. Jocelyn

[Kate Simmons]

Am I paranoid as to what people may be thinking? Nah. The heck with 'em if they can't take a joke. I'm never paranoid when I'm being myself. Plus my money is just as green. Just ask the merchants.:happy: Sal

[Raychel]

Very much so. There are times when I have on a body briefer, I am so nervous that the straps might show that I will wear a jacket no matter what. Even though my wife tells me that no one will notice. The silly thing that happen in you head sometimes.

[Karren H]

No.... Not really.... It does not bother me one bit to walk into a shoe store in a male business suit, try on heels, walk around the store in them to see how comphy they are..... Stand there in the dress dept, holding up dresses to check for length on me, Or try on skirts and dresses in male mode... Going into a store or a casino or a hotel enfemme knowing full well that I don't pass... Walking into a restroom male and come out female.....

It boils down to attitude..... Who cares what the general public thinks.... Got a right to wear what I want where I want... When is determined by my hectic schedule.. And its actually kind of fun to see what people think...via their expressions...

If I would had a clipboard yesterday I would have polled people at the rest area I stopped at.. No one paid me the slightest bit of attention.. "Excuse me sir, what gender did you think I was, before you heard my voice?" Hehe

Love Karren

[Eva Diva]

Just a thought... there's no reason to add "Please read". We allwant our threads read - that's why we post 'em. :D

[BlUeDrAgOn]

Well, since I'm shy by nature, I'm always a bit paranoid, no matter how I'm dressed. I never got out dressed as a woman, with makeup, hairdo and things like that, but in my early 20's I had long hair, earrings and those tight jeans. Sometimes, people confused me with a girl looking from the back, sometimes I heard bad jokes and I felt embarassed (sometimes I blushed like a lobster:o ) but I was always able to surpass that.

I don't think I will ever have the courage to go out dressed as a lady, but I could perfectly use clothes like those I once did. That would make me feel more feminine, without bringing me major problems.

[kaitlin]

Hey Girls, I too am a little to afraid to venture out dressed. I wish so much that I could but I am no where near passable. I don't care so much about what others may think, it's the fool that wants to say something that's the problem. I do "under dress" every day. I always have on panties, my toes are always polished. When it's cool enough I wear pantyhose or a garter belt and hose. But let me put on a bra even with a jacket, and the fear sets in. I feel as if everyone that gets within 10 feet can see it. I guess i am just being silly but it's a real feeling. I not sure what to do to get past this feeling or if I ever will but it sure would be nice to run to the store partly or fully dressed and not have to be afraid. Kaitlin

[BlUeDrAgOn]

Well, I don't have any problems using any type of underwear in public. It simply doesn't show, unless you use thin clothes. I've gone out many times using bra (without breastforms, of course), panties, pantyhose and everything and never had a problem.

[Marcie Sexton]

The first response of being noticed as a guy in womens clothes is pretty much normal...at least for me, my first time, now as I venture out more and more I worry less and less...my wife has beome my adviser and role model for my actions out and about...

as far as people looking at me...I see men wanting that woman, and women despising that woman...some may call it conceit, I call it confidence...:2c:

[janedoe311]

and then wait for the looks!

I am sure there are some that will look. But it depends on ones confidence. If you look guilty they then will notice.

It is not all that uncommon for a husband to purchase stuff for his wife, so sales people are used to it.

[JoAnnDallas]

I used to get real nervious shopping for fem clothing while in drab mode, but after a while, I have found that no one seems to mind that I am shopping the ladies departments, so now it doesn't bother me any more.

[Vicky_Scot]

Just a thought... there's no reason to add "Please read". We allwant our threads read - that's why we post 'em. :D

I would apologise but I cannot see the reason why I need to.

I could see your point if I had put as you said "Please Read" as if i am begging someone to read my post but as you can see the title reads:

Are We As Crossdressers Paranoid - Read On Pls

which is totally different.

I am not that desperate for people to read my post, if they want to that is fine by me, if they do not it is not the end of the world.

Lighten up my dear. :hugs:

[Felix]

Nope I'm not now cos I'm dressing in shirts and trousers or jean all the time and I feel comfortable so stuff what others think :heehee: xx Felix :hugs:

[JulieC]

Yes, I agree with you. I consider myself the poster child for the paranoid deeply closeted crossdresser. While shopping for fem items with my wife I get uneasy and nervous to the point where I drive her crazy. I usually go into another city to shop as well, and this all in male mode. I guess it all stems from the other paranoid belief that if outed I'll be fired from my job, and disowned by my family and friennds. Jocelyn

I too shop in places other than my hometown.

If I were single, and had nobody depending upon me for their livelihood, I might care less. But, society has its rules and I don't want my family to be victimized by society enforcing those rules. Thus, I shop out of town.

[Fab Karen]

You know, when you walk into a men's clothing store & buy men's clothes SOMEONE MAY BE WATCHING YOU. Who knows what they might be thinking :D
After awhile being femme things becomes old hat.

[sherri]

I'm with Karen, it's all about attitude. Whether I'm dressed or in male mode, I stay relaxed and confident and look the staff in the eye. Most of the time I don't care if they know I'm shopping for myself, and more and more I want them to know. It's part of the fun, plus sometimes I need some coaching.

I think reaction depends on what store you're in. I've noticed in the Dillard store here that I'm being watched if I'm in male mode in a women's section, but in Target they don't give a rip. I've shopped at Target, WalMart, Penneys and a couple of "sexy wear" Hispanic shops en femme on numerous occasions without incident. When I'm out of town I'll go into any store en femme - upscale, low scale, whatever.

I've also noticed that the younger sales girls in the department stores may be surprised if I indicate I'm shopping for me, but they are invariably nice about it - and ditto for the minority races - whereas there's a greater chance that a caucasian woman my age and up will communicate through expression or body language or blatant curtness that she doesn't approve. In the latter case I try to respond cheerfully and patiently, but if that doesn't work I'm willing to get as tough as she cares to make it.

[veronicag48]

in the past two weeks I have purchased new breast forms and bra (by mail) , tops, skirts, nities, shoes and a wig (all in drab) Got it all together and tried on everything. Some looked good some didn't fit. The clothes that didn't fit I took back (in drab). And then one pair of shoes didn't fit. I said the heck with it. So I got dressed enfemme and headed out the door with the shoes and returned them. Nervous as H, but I got my money back without a hitch. I just walked in, head high but didn't make too much eye contact. I figured since this went so well I went to the post office, shopped at Walmart for some makeup and got gas. As I see it there are a lot of GGs around here that look rougher than I do and could "really use a makeover". So let em look and wonder.:tongueout

[Alex!]

When I'm in guy mode, I'm a guy. The physical manifestation of Andrea is repressed and the good parts of "her personality" remain. It matters to me what others think because I am part of a society. There is a difference between individualism and individuality, and often folks don't get that. The former can become dangerous and counterproductive. The latter should never be repressed. I think when societies focus on dealing with that balance more effectively, we will have matured beyond where we are now, and a whole bunch of us will be happier for it.

[Phyliss]

How well I can identify with the feelings of: "Everybody is watching me".

The first time I wore panties out of the house, I just KNEW the entire neighborhood was equipped with "super powerful x-ray vision" and by nightfall I would be "tarred and feathered, and run out of town on a rail".

The first time I decided to wear a bra "out of the house" I could barely drive safely my hands were shaking so much.
That was then, this is now. While not quite to the level of changing in a public restroom, I do go out 3/4 dressed, except for my work shirt, everything else is female clothing, jeans, shoes, and the required undies. With a bit of minimal makeup.
Not worried anymore.

[Lanore]

I've known who I was before all of the labels started coming out. When I need to shop I shop. I know I'm going to get some looks but I never really notice anymore. I know my size in cloths, panties and bras, which makes my shopping a whole lot easier. When I want to try something on, I do. If I see someone who is curious, I ask them, "do you think this will make me look fat". Kind of breaks the tention.

Lanore

[cindychan]

My only worries are that of running into relatives that tend to jabber about things. Other than that I work in a cultural diverse environment, and I can kick the #^&0( outa most people that would oppose me:hugs: :love: