Violent Behaviour(have you been a victim?)

[BlUeDrAgOn]

Well, first of all, I'd like to ask our moderators to erase this thread if there is one about this already. I looked, but I didn't find one. So here goes.

Has any one of you been a victim of violent behavior or discrimination when going out dressed as a lady? Please, share your experiences.

[Valerie Nicole]

I've never been out dressed, but this is among my biggest fears with regards to both going out dressed, or even coming out fully or being outed by those that know.

[micheal]

but this is among my biggest fears
:hugs: I can relate to that.
Its proberly the bigest fear i have and the main thing holding back my fem side.

Not been out dresed so i cant realy share to much on the topic but,
I have been verbally abused by school girls for just haveing long hair and wearing a jumper tied around my waist :rolleyes:.
Iv allso had abuse hurled at me for skate boarding when i was in my early 20's.
Not realy on topic but i think it justifys my fears of what could happen.

[kassandra richard]

Not me. The times I've been out (okay, driving around Disney World and getting lost doesn't count) I've been suitably ignored :) Even when my gift card caused an error at Walmart and I had to have an SA override. My favorite was the two SA's at a Sears clearance centre with the wide eyes, and the woman behind me snickering at my hairy hands and squeaky voice. But I couldn't argue with the boots for $30 and the black skirt for $5.

[Lilith Moon]

Just ridicule, mainly from groups of teenage girls (mallrats). The first time was *very* painful and I swore never to go out again. That lasted for a couple of weeks :heehee:

[Eva Diva]

I've taken a good beating in my time, but never in heels. Nothing to complain about - I've given a few too. :D


On a more serious note. someone posted recently about taking a bad beating at the hands of several guys. And yes, am concerned about it, because I know that there's little even an old knuckle-headed fist-fighter like me could do if more than one guy is involved, or if they come up from behind.

A guy told me years ago that you only get one really good beating in your life. So far, I've escaped mine, so maybe I should worry. :D At the time, we were going into a bar, and in the back lot we realized that it was a biker bar. We held our heads up, and walked in like we owned the place. No problem.

[JulieC]

There's a website out there dedicated to our fallen. People killed for being transgendered. Don't have the URL handy.

[ArleneRaquel]

Name calling by super macho males, no violence yet. :love: & :hugs: Trina - Safe Indoors

[Valerie Nicole]

There's a website out there dedicated to our fallen. People killed for being transgendered. Don't have the URL handy.

If you get ahold of the URL, I would love to see that.

[Crissy Kay]

This is the real reason that I do not leave the closet. I do admire those of us that do go out in public. Just the thought of being beaten up, really scares the hell out of me.

[Gina_darling]

Not had a problem, but then I'm cautious about where I go. It is the same as going around alone at night as a guy, you risk being beaten up for different reasons such as the contents of your wallets. Don't let that put you off going out, there is always risk regardless of who you are and how you're dressed

[Tasha Meredith]

Not any more than usual. But I do carry pepper spray. I'm more worried about being recognized in general.

[MsJanessa]

the only time anybody tried to get physical with Me was once some HUGE guy felt up My fake breasts---was an jerk---told him to leave Me alone and he did(thank god) Never had any other physical confrontations and only a handful of verbal ones(no more than 3) and I simply walked away from all of them.

[Brianna Lovely]

Has any one of you been a victim of violent behavior or discrimination when going out dressed as a lady? Please, share your experiences.

Time and place. No matter who you are, sex, race, religion, if you're in a "bad place, time" you're looking for trouble and you'll most likly find it. Dark allys in metro areas, back contry roads, out at night, desolate areas, drug areas, pick-up areas, etc. are not good places to be, especialy alone.

I'd have to go back and look, but I'm going to guess that I've been going out for about six months. I go out "fully" dressed (wig asnd forms) and I go out semi-dressed (no wig or forms). Most of the time I'm out in the day time.
I've only been "challanged" once.
I had just come out of a convinence stor and was standing in front, calling my nail-tech. Was wearing an above the knee denim skirt, light blue deep-v top, with lace, sandals, nails done, earrings, necklace, lipstick and mascara and carrying a purse. As I ended my call and put my cell phone in my purse, a car parked in front of me and a guy got out. As he walked toward me, he stopped, looked at me, and said "You know, you can't defend yourself, with your finger nails like that!"

I looked straight at him and answered, "Well, honey, I'll just have to bit*h-slap you then. Won't I?"

With that, he walked backwards, went the other way around his car and into the store. So much for that.

[MJ]

thank god i have not been be beaten but i get the looks and the name calling but this is who i am so it would not stop me

[Kate Simmons]

Violence begets violence and I don't go looking for trouble. I'm not bashful when it comes to defending myself though. Most people have respect for me, although it did happen once at the club a couple of years ago. I handled it okay though and haven't been bothered since. Guess word gets around.:happy: Sal

[EmmaJane TS]

Hi,

The couple of times I've been out I've not had any trouble, but have had the looks, no nasty comments as yet. It's only a matter of time before some sort of nasty incident occurs to me (fingers crossed it doesn't) you just have to be realistic and accept that there are some ignore morons out there that are afraid of anything or anyone different from them (which is their loss not ours, BTW!).

Hugs and kisses,

EmmaJ.

[gennee]

I haven't had any problems at all.

Gennee

:happy:

[Butterfly Bill]

Violence. no. Discrimination, yes. Arnie's Pub in Tulsa wouldn't let me take part in their Irish jam session because of the way I was dressed. And I have had occasional people yelling "faggot" thru their car window. Only one time has the guy gotten out of his car, but that was in a place where a lot of people were watching and I don't think he would have done too much to me if he had walked over to me (he was in a long line of cars waiting for a stop light.) In general, I don't go places en femme where a woman would not feel comfortable.

[BlUeDrAgOn]

...you just have to be realistic and accept that there are some ignore morons out there that are afraid of anything or anyone different from them (which is their loss not ours, BTW!).

I couldn't agree with you more:happy:

[cocopuff's girl GG]

I watched a movie sometime ago about a young teenager still in highschool who had always felt like a girl. He started slowly dressing more and more like a girl and the family moved to another area where he/she would not be picked on and he went full throttle girl. To make a long story short it was based on a true story,,, some guys killed the he/ she cause they found out she was a he. It really touched my heart cause as a mother having a gay son myself I worry about him and now the SO is a CD what is next???? I just worry for both of them now. It's such a cruel world we live in and with tears flowing I'd just want to die myself if I lost my baby who is not a really a baby but he will always be my baby and I may not agree or understand but I love him n matter what and I'm like a mother bear when you go picking on mine you better watch out cause mama's fixing to open a can of whoop azz and fast. He's a big boy, over 6 foot and he got his looks from his mama. lol J/k...Mama's never quit being mama's. :hugs: :love: Just be careful out there.

[BlUeDrAgOn]

There's always that risk, yes, but we can't live our lives based on fear. That is not living. I'm not saying your son should exhibit a poster telling the world he's gay, but he's no less than anyone else for beig the way he is. That applies for all our CD and TG friends as well. We have to keep fighting for our right to be free. We can't submit to other people's standards.

Sometimes I wish there was some kind of closed and selfsufficient community where people could live hapily appart from others, without being constantly humiliated.

[Karren H]

Never... Not even been approached or threatened... And I crossdress in locals where it is not accepted.. But then again I'm not stupid enough to put myself in a situation I can't get out of.. I don't ferquent places where gang of younger boys hand out.... IE: Malls on saturday night... Plus I play ice hockey and am pretty fit and could probably take a single attacker on if I had to... Or do some major damage ..... Ohhhh and I can run like Wilma Rudolph in heels too!! Hehe

Love Karren

[cocopuff's girl GG]

Never forget ladies that heels can become a weapon if needed. Forget trying to run in them I'd take them suckers off fast and carry them or throw them as hard as I can. I can buy more heels but i can't buy a new me...:2c: :love:

[stormrider]

Believe it or not, I have been the victim of violent spousal abuse which may or may not have anything to do with my orientation. I have taken many a beating because....just because, and there seems to be very little I can do about it. Maine DHS recognizes and vigorously pursues prossecution of wife-beaters. Call them and tell them that you are being beaten up by your wife and they ask what you did to deserve it. Fight back, forget it, "Go ahead, hit me, I'll have your *** in jail so fast your head will spin" is the remark. My wife suspected and abused. If she had known the abuse would have been greater (her words, not mine). I will never knowingly expose myself to violence again because of who I am. That is why I love this place. I can be me without being threatened and I can pick and choose who I reveal myself to.

Michelle

[vbcdgrl]

I've been out many times, never had any problem. Not even any nasty remarks. I do take reasonable precautions, but can't let fear run my life.

Vikki

[Alex!]

Go in crowds or friends and don't go in swarthy places. Also appear confident and sure of yourself. Carry a defensive weapon, of course.

My particular training in the military provides a good deal of confidence, but as one member said you could conceivably be ambushed or overwhelmed.

I'm much more concerned with being "made."

[Sharon]

I can't think of any time I have been overtly discriminated against but I was the victim of one violent act a couple years ago. Nothing too serious, but it was definitely a blow to me emotionally for awhile.

[Stephenie S]

No, never. But like Karren, I do not frequent places where a single GG could feel out of place. No bars, dark streets, back lots, nor ANYWHERE I could not get out of in a hurry. I would have no desire to go to any of those places anyway. I just live my life. Shopping, gas station, post office, bank, dry cleaners, hair salon, etc. I supose I get my share of "looks", but a big smile and a friendly word goes a long way to diffuse any potential problem.

Lovies,
Stephenie

I did get beaten up once as a teenager visiting in south Boston, but it had NOTHING to do with CDing. It was then that I learned not to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.

[Eva Diva]

I did get beaten up once as a teenager visiting in south Boston, but it had NOTHING to do with CDing. It was then that I learned not to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.



As a Bostonian and a Masshole, sorry about that.


The good thing for me is the element of surprise. Guys having some fun with a tranny wouldn't be expecting me to go Medieval on their asses, would they? :D Always go for the big mouth - if you take him out, the rest often fold. A properly placed forehead to the bridge of the nose is something he wouldn't forget for a long time, even if I ended up going down in the end. Whadda ya do? :Punch:

[Stlalice]

Early in this thread someone asked about a site dedicated to remembering those who have died because of anti transgender violence - as an area coordinator for the site I've had the sad duty of reading the names of the fallen at our Transgender Day of Remembrance services - the site you are looking for is called www.rememberingourdead.org - it is a sad site to visit but the only way some of our sisters and brothers will get any respect for their life and death.:sad: :sad:

[sandra-leigh]

Has any one of you been a victim of violent behavior or discrimination when going out dressed as a lady?

Never violence.

I've had groups of young men yell random insults at me twice outside the same movie theatre, so now I avoid that one intersection at that time of day. (A few minutes after one of those incidents, a guy approached me while I was in the middle of crossing the road, and asked me for some change, and when I shook my head no, told me that "I won't tell your secret." Clearly, I wasn't "passing" that night!)

I had a guy follow me in a car a bit and creep me out -- taking my picture, telling me I was cute dressed like that, asking me whether I wanted some "work" later that night; possibly the correct term for that incident was "demeaning".

I got a fairly strong frowning stare at a [large] bus-stop once from a woman who wasn't exactly a model of social conformity herself. I'd seen her around somewhere a time or two before, seemingly in a perpetual bad mood.

I got a low-voiced "that looks stupid" from a guy I passed one evening when I was wearing a unitard with bulges of my forms visible. I didn't care -- I went to a nice restaurant and was treated perfectly well there.

But other than these incidents, I've had practically nothing negative, even when I'm out "gender-bending". I've gone to malls and grocery shopping and ridden busses wearing a skirt while clearly in "guy mode", and people seldom give me a second glance. I've walked around in public a few times with an obvious bosum while in guy mode, and no-one bothered me or commented. I've gone completely dressed and half dressed (e.g., wearing a skirt and nothing else obvious) to several bars, and not had any trouble. If anything, I get talked to (that is, real conversations) more since I started going out dressed and half-dressed.

I should note that historically I have had more than my share of car passengers leaning out and calling me "faggot": but that was before I did any kind of dressing. Completely male clothes, hair cut short not 10 minutes before and I still got "faggot". So I was expecting to have to put up with catcalls once I started dressing, and have been surprised how little has occured. As long as I don't go buy that one movie theatre!

[trannie T]

I'm a little careful about where I go when dressed. I carry pepper spray and a whistle. I have never had any problem when I've been out.

[cindychan]

Always prepare for the worse. Carry a weapon of some sort. Years ago in bad drag, a guy had a problem with me at a bar, But when I stood up and acted a bit psycho he bolted for the door:devil: ( now days I carry a cell phone and knife)

[JulieC]

Early in this thread someone asked about a site dedicated to remembering those who have died because of anti transgender violence - as an area coordinator for the site I've had the sad duty of reading the names of the fallen at our Transgender Day of Remembrance services - the site you are looking for is called www.rememberingourdead.org - it is a sad site to visit but the only way some of our sisters and brothers will get any respect for their life and death.:sad: :sad:

Thanks for posting it. That's it!

It's really really sad to see this list again. I know its a huge amount of hatred scattered across a huge land, but having it condensed into this one channel...what a terrible world :(

People, please don't presume the world is a safe place for transgendered people. It isn't. Be prepared. Always be prepared.

[BlUeDrAgOn]

Is there some way that we could make some kind of pressure in the media so that they could show some documentaries about this subject? I remember watching something on Discovery Chanel about it, but it was centuries ago. I believe many of these casesof violence come from total ignorance and stupidity of some jackasses, but if general population was more enlightened about it, perhaps it could make some kind of difference.

[Shelly R]

I go where I want, but I do pay attention to any possible problems that might happpen. The places I go, a single GG would be safe at. Stephenie's advise works for me also. No real problems, except once when a GG refused to serve me at a bar, the boss was of a different mind though, things ended well!

I don't consider my rape by two men when I was younger to be part of my being "TG", I will never know why.

Her name is Gwen Araujo, please respect our dead and give them a name. I live in the same area too.