Why is it so hard? - your thoughts

[bi_weird]

FYI I'm posting this here because this is where I post. Anyone is free to chime in.
I'm avoiding homework right now and was reading through some threads in the MTF section. One got me thinking about my little brother and how I think he's borrowed my clothes before, and how I wish I could figure out how to help him come to this realization. I remember, though, when I first started discovering my clothing missing and finding it in his room, and how disturbed I was. I've read other stories on here, and heard stories from friends along similar veins. People who have no good reason to be disturbed, being really cool with all things queer (or in my case people who are queer), who suddenly freak out when someone close to them ends up not heterosexual and cisgender. Anyone have thoughts as to why this is? What's the difference there between accepting your own queer nature and that of total strangers, but not accepting the nature of people you know?
Alright I really ought to get back to pretending to write my paper now.

[Question Mark]

Hmm, I dunno. I remember being very shocked when I found out my best friend was having a relationship with another girl, even though I had nothing to be shocked about. I think in that case it was more because until then, I'd thought of her as asexual, though.

[Wren]

Yeah that's a tough one...and to attempt to answer it would make my head come off.

Personally, I've reached some kind of pinnacle in my life where the only thing I'm having trouble accepting is the way that people see me, how they label me and such. When it comes to other people..even the "weirdest" (lack of better term) things have come to ..not faze me at all. Maybe it's the amount of people in my life who have come out to me and a variety of other things. As someone who is not seen as "normal" I have developped a need to try and understand how people might be feeling, from their perspective.

Everyone's different...and your situations in life can factor into it.. for example, wanting your kids to lead a life without persecution, you might be freaked if they were Gay, trans etc, even if you were comfortable with it.

Hope that makes sense... re-reading it made my head hurt.. and I am also procrastinating studying..*sigh*..

[false_dichotomy]

And yet another procrastinator replies to the thread...

I'm not sure what it is either. I remember when my younger sister first came out to me I was shocked. It may be more that the idea you have of someone you are close to suddenly changes very much, and the thing you are really disturbed about is how little you really knew them... sometimes a revelation like that can make it feel like a person has changed a lot more than they actually have.

These days, very few things will get a second look from me, but since going off to college I have met so many amazing people from all walks of life and with all kinds of pasts. People just fascinate me, from anywhere on the spectrum.

[kerrianna]

Do you think it's maybe because you know from your own experience that life 'outside the box' is harder in some ways, and while you are prepared to face that yourself, you worry that your brother might not be as prepared? Of course he probably is. :hugs:

Or maybe you're just jealous cuz you know he looks better in your clothes. :tongueout

[Kate Simmons]

Wow, I dunno Bi, it's kind of strange and amazing at the same time. It's a whole new level of understanding , especially when it hits "home". I don't know how I'd feel if I found out any of my children were gay or CDing, probably mixed feelings at best but I do know I would love them no matter what.:happy: Sal

[Felix]

Good question Bi I really don't think it would bother me if one of my kids came out as gay or anythin else. More recently someone very important to me said they were not lesbian but bisexual. I always said it would not bother me but when it came to it I felt completely different for many reasons. It never bothered me when it was other people but when it was in my face I found it hard to handle. I think it was because I felt secure in the knowledge that we were both the same sexuality but then it became a broader thing and I felt kinda insecure. It's daft cos I know I don't need to cos I totally trust this person and it is just others I don't trust which may be hard to understand but then I been hurt a fair few times so find it hard to trust, especially if I don't know them. So that's why I don't trust others. I always said bisexuality didn't bother me and yet I am kinda afraid of it because it opens up all sorts of possibilities. Things are definitely so different when they are in ya face. But then it's down to trust, respect and love and I got all them things so I guess I'm dealing with these scary emotions in my own way
Thing is I don't see myself as a heterosexual, although I have thought about this a lot because of my queerness but then that's probably why I don't but I'm not Bi either cos I know it's only women, only one woman I want. Is it the same old thing then about fence sitting and the uncertainty it brings. If that is the case then bein genderqueer must be so hard for my partner to handle too cos it could be said that I am fence sitting although I don't feel I am cos I'm more male than female and I feel that strongly. So I just have to come to acceptance of this bisexuality in my life and things will be fine. Infact better there were no labels then it wouldn't matter it's the person I love not the label at the end of the day. Sorry if I digressed a bit. xx Felix :hugs: