Who to tell

[Maddie22]

I don't have any friends that know I'm a cd...I really want to tell some one, a girl is who i'd only feel comfortable with...I'm single so I can't really tell my girlfriend, but i have a lot of girl friends, but I don't know who?? or do I know how to explain what I am to them, being hetro cd...I don't want to loose friends over this

[Jennifer_G]

I don't have any friends that know I'm a cd...I really want to tell some one, a girl is who i'd only feel comfortable with...I'm single so I can't really tell my girlfriend, but i have a lot of girl friends, but I don't know who?? or do I know how to explain what I am to them, being hetro cd...I don't want to loose friends over this


Just think carefully, once you tell someone the cats out of the bag and there is no going back. Make sure you can also trust them not to tell anyone else.
I once told someone and now wish I had not. Now they know it has changed how they interact with me.

Good luck with whatever you decide.
Hugs
Jennifer

[Marissa_Black]

It's really hard to give you any advice because you didn't tell how old you are. If you are in your teens I would urge you to be very careful of telling anyone. It could come back to haunt you. If you tell the wrong person, you can never "untell" them.

[katia]

Hi Becca
You have taken the first step by telling us,if i was you i wouldn't tell your friends yet untill you are sure you can trust them,until then spend a bit of time with us I am sure you will get a lot of helpfull advice from your sisters :hugs:
Love
Katia
-x-

[Eugenie]

Telling someone else is in a way a mode of existing as a x-dresser. When one is just in front of the miror, there is no feedback except ones own eyes...

The other reason to tell someone else is to relieve oneself from the extraordinary lonelyness that being a X-dresser often entails.

As stated, telling on a forum like this one is already a very important step to reduce the two above problem.

But at a certain point sharing our secret in real life will become a necessity for some of us. It is a tough decision to make: who can I trust and how much can I trust that person?

Indeed, once you have told there is no way that you will be able to "untell", but on the reverse side, the more people will know, the less you will fear that some one else will tell others...

I personally feel extremely relieved that now many people that really count for me know about me and my x-dressing: my wife, my children and a few good friends and even coworkers. So now I don't risk much about any unwanted coming out...

It has made me feel a lot more free to go out "en femme" as, if I am discovered, I dont fear about my friends reactions anymore.

:hugs:
Eugenie

[julie w]

once you have told someone its not a secret anymore , so think why do I need to tell ?

[pantyhose lover]

I completely understand how you feel. I hadn't told any of my friends until last december, and I still only told my female friends. I was totally freaked out about losing my friends over this and that if I didn't, they would change how they looked at me. I guess I'm blessed because my friends are completely accepting of my crossdressing. I asked them repeatedly if there was anything I could say/do that would change how they thought of me, and they always reassured me that there was nothing I could do that would change our relationships.

But still, be careful with who you tell. These two friends have a diverse group of friends, so my crossdressing wasn't too far out of left field. Still, for example, another close friend of mine is extrememly religious, and I have a good idea of how she would react, so I would never tell her.

If/when you tell your friends, just explain afterwards that you are straight. They'll probably ask questions, and you can further explain yourself. Good luck! It is a great feeling to be able to share this with someone and not keep it bottled up.

[Eugenie]

IIf/when you tell your friends, just explain afterwards that you are straight.

Why, Is there something wrong with being gay or Bi-sexual?

:hugs:
Eugenie

[Maddie22]

I'm 27 by the way....the one girl friend of mine that I am thinking about telling does have a younger brother that dresses(not sure exactly to the degree, never have talked to him about it, don't know him that well, and don't trust him since I don't know him) and she is also one of my best friends, and very open minded, almost like a sister.....i'm also thinking of my own sister to tell since she was the first one to actually dress me as a girl when I was young, and she is very open minded.

[EmmaJane TS]

Hi Becca,

Well I've told my housemate (who is a goth and very opened minded) as well as his girlfriend and a couple of male friends. It is very exciting once you are out of the closet (you want to shout it from the rooftops TBH). I do recommend caution though, it is a very euphoric feeling telling people something you've kept bottled up for years but don't get carried away with it, take it steady and tell one person at a time and wait and gauge their reaction before you tell anybody else.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you.

Love,

Emma.

[michelleupnorth]

I have told some people and some others have no idea. The people that I told are very close to me and even though they were surprised they accept me for who I am. The ones that I haven't told is because I don't think they would understand. I may be wrong and time will tell as I plan on transitioning and going full-time come July or August. the reason for waiting till then is because I'm seeing an awesome Dr. on the 5th of July and if all goes well I should be able to start HRT.

[MentalMercury]

I know it's alot easier to tell women. Start with the kind of girls that are open-minded of course. Telling one of my friends has strengthened our friendship from average friends to very close friends.

I can also bust out the famous Dr. Suess quote "Those mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." or it could have been the other way around, I didn't bother to verify it.

And about the person who said 'just claify you're straight'.. I'm sure they didn't mean anything negative about gay people, it just seems like the #1 stereotype associated with crossdressers, and it's usually not the case.

[MJ]

well the truth will set you free, the problem is some people just don't get it but here is a good test.. tell all your Friends at the same time then you know who your real friends are. just because you cross dress it is not a death sentence when i came out i did lose some so called friends but i also made new friends . your fear is what stops you . but please remember when you tell someone you cross dress word will get around

[Princess29]

I have told four people (3 females) and the overall consensus seems to be surprise but acceptance ie "if thats what makes you happy, go for it". As mentioned previously, you can't "un-tell" someone if it goes badly so that's a risk that we have to take. It does feel good to be able to talk to someone about it who knows you, especially if it goes well.
If you're prepared for the consequences if it goes badly, I would have a talk with your gg friend and bring it out in the open.

[joperinal]

I can Imagine you would love to tell someone. I found this forum very helpfull.
I now can tell stories I have never mentioned before, even more fun: old memories stuffed away are coming back to me now. That really helps and I can show here how I look by attaching a picture.
I agree with the remark: why do you need to tell it, and the remark: once it is out, you can't go back.

[crusadergirl]

I told most of my friends they are cool with it but still i wouldn't just go tell someone just b/c you want to tell someone. when your ready you will let them know just who u are. Its just clothes not your whole life.

[DebbieThomas]

telling ppl is a big step, one I put alot of thought into before telling the first person. Ive come out to most of my friends now. so far not one has stopped being friends. I do get alot of joking around about it, which is fine hell I can laugh about myself with them. I did lose a friend of a friend that had seen me on TV during the Steve Stanton hearing in Largo, he lives in Largo. he emailed me afterwards saying he wanted to have no more contact with me. kind of hard he's friend with other friends of mine, and they are cool with it. one even stepped up and told him he needed to growup. :heehee: the hardest person so far to tell was my mother, which I did Monday. wont say how it went, :thumbsup: planning to start a thread about it later today. most of the fear is in head, no different then buying your first pair of panties in male mode. I wish you the best however you choose to go.

[Kate Simmons]

I realize you are probably bursting at the seams with excitement and want to share that with someone. I used to be in Intel though and only share things on a "need to know" basis. Just remember as a wise man once said:"A secret known to two is no longer a secret." Think about that.:happy:

[Gina_darling]

I told my Mum and a sister first, I say first but they are the only people who know! I know my Mum will always love me no matter what so she was a safe first person. It worked well. No friends know, and I was contemplating telling a couple, but thought what would it achieve? I want some shopping friends my own age and GG's would be great, but at the same time I think something will be lost, something more than the gain from shopping. After all shopping is purely materialistic and friendship is so much more. I decided my friendship to them as a male was more valuable.

All I can say is don't rush, think and good luck with whatever you decide

Gina xx

[KELLYANN]

i've only come out to my best friend of over forty yrs. (other than my CD/TG friends) when i told him about KELLY, i think he was a bit perplexed. but i think he understands that this is who i am. i told him about a year ago, and he has never brought up the subject since. we remain friends and always will. guess what i'm saying is, TRUE FRIENDS are just that! as for family, i've two brothers. my younger, i'm sure would embrace me. my older, i think would shun me. as for mom, (dad has passed) she is eldery and i would not want to shock her. :2c: :hugs: KELLY