To start over

[AmberTG]

Something Kerrianna said at the end of a notorious, now closed thread really got me to thinking, it brought tears to my eyes, in fact, so I want to ask this question of the genetic males who identify as women and the genetic females who identify as men.
If you could start over in life and grow up as the sex you identify with, would you? I think that I would go back and do it all over again, watching my 2 sisters grow up made me wish that I could be like them, but we're talking the 1960s here so.....
Anyway, would you?

[CaptLex]

If you could start over in life and grow up as the sex you identify with, would you?
Oh yeah, Amber . . . in a heartbeat. When I was young I used to tell people that I was a boy in my past lives, and that I was coming back as a boy again in my next one. I would have done anything to have my life be a "do-over". As it turns out, I may not have to wait that long. ;) Here's hoping. :Pray:

[Kristen Kelly]

Funny, yes and no, for almost the same reason. The experiences I have had growing up as made me who I am, and deprived me at the same time, growing up as a boy made me strong enough to stand up for what I believe in, develop my intereststs in the sciences and all things mechanical. In the same way I did hang with girls growing up but they were more tomboys, didn't play with dolls, wouldnt have thought twice about kicking your butt. The other girls played together and if you played with them you were a sissy.

[Teresa Amina]

Sure, but it would have to be a situation in which you knew you had started over, otherwise you wouldn't appreciate it. Just think: now you can Become, with all the knowledge gained from those decades of dissatisfaction, a perspective on life seldom known before. Cool, isn't it? Might actually be a better deal.

[MJ]

yes i would in a heartbeat i felt i should have been born a girl . but now i don't have too long to Waite :heehee:

[kerrianna]

You know my answer already.

I can't believe how profoundly I feel that. :sad:

LOL, I'd probably grow up a tomboy and want to be like the guys! :rolleyes:

[Maggie Kay]

I think that the life I have had was actually the best for me. Everyone has some burden to carry and some have many. The fact that I was born with a female brain in a male body has had both advantages and disadvantages. It would be simpler to be a total female from the start, as my mother wanted. However, the realities of the world are that I would not have been able to do the good things I have done as a woman. The people that I touched and lives that were affected all were due to my role in society no matter how difficult it was for me. I wouldn't give these things up just to satisfy my intense desire to be fully female. I am now here in this forum and we are changing each others lives. I wouldn't want to not be part of this either. TG people are nice folks and in desperate need of help and understanding. So my answer is that I would have my life again as it started. One thing is for sure, it is not dull!

[Stephanie H]

I have wanted to be a woman as long as I can remember and I would have changed long ago if transexual hate was'nt as issue. If I could be a gg, oh hell yeah I would be first in line and don't get in my way of getting in front of the line either..hehe

[Kate Simmons]

My first impulse would be to say yes but when I think about it, I have to say no. It took me a while to realize it but I finally realized (today) that I WAS a girl growing up as well as a boy or maybe more correctly, I should say in spite of being a boy. Thinking back, I was never "restricted" from doing anything I wanted to or shamed for acting in any certain way(My Grandmother was always in my "corner" for that and she was a role model for me). When I got to the dreaded "High School" where boys were expected to be jocks, I shuddered but put my head up and did it anyway. I never identified with the guys but the girls the same as always even though I presented as a boy. Despite my trappings and my appearance, I was indeed a girl, a tomboy in fact but due to the social pressures with the other kids to fit in with each other, I created my own little "world" to survive.
Somehow, I even survived the Army and a war but I sort of "tuned out" most of it and just did my thing, never compromising who I was in the process. Even so, I had fully planned to get a "sex change" once I got out of the Army because I thought that was my only option to be who I was supposed to be. Just before I did that, I met my future wife and decided to assume the mantle of a man and would give it my best shot because it seemed important to her for me to be a man.
We made a life together and had three children together who I love dearly. The point is I had fulfilled that part of myself and after 25 years, I was ready for my next phase of development as an overall person. My wife was not however, so after many years of grief over the CDing, we are separated but still love each other.
I wouldn't think of changing anything the way it happened. I got to know myself and what I was capable of. I would not be who I am today if it did not happen that way, so the answer to your question for me anyway is no.:happy:

[michelleupnorth]

In a heartbeat. Having to change now is painful for me and for other people in my life.

[Sharon]

Yeah, I would definitely love to have the chance to start over, but it's really pointless to give too much thought to this type of thing. But to be able to live a life without the heartaches, confusion, self-hate, and what have you is very appealing to me right now.

[Daintre]

I was going to say yes, yes yes, but after reading the posts, I think I am better for the trials and pain that I have gone through, because with all that came some great times. I am content to live with the fact I will never be who I thought I was destined to be, a mom. I am a dad, proud of his son and proud of what I achieved as a male. My only regret is not having a mate to share my life with.

[Yael]

In a heartbeat. Having to change now is painful for me and for other people in my life.

+1
Yael

[AmberTG]

A lot of very insiteful answers here so far, a lot of valid points. And, of course, we all have our own set of experiences of growing up as we were.
I do have to agree with Teresa about being able to know that you're starting over, otherwise you would have no idea how it was the first time. Of course, not knowing would be a relief for some of us, just to have a normal childhood, what more could a person ask for?
I suppose it's a bit like the red pill, blue pill question from a different perspective. I still ponder that question though, the old " as a MTF, if you could take a blue pill that would make you a normal man or a red pill that would make you a normal woman, which way would you go?" For me, that's still a bit of a tough question, I don't have a sure answer to that, but I think I'd take the red one.
Anyway, I suppose Sharon's right that it's pointless to worry too much about it, as my therapist keeps telling me, " stop living in the past, it drains your energy for the now"

[Shelly R]

I think you know my answer, yes! In an instant. Wanted to all my life.
But.....If I have to give up what I am now, How far I have come, the realization that I finally know who, and what I am. The heartache, the trials, The effort to keep going when you don't want to, has made me stronger. To loose all that, to forget where I have been, and what I can do now.
Nope! I don't want to, can't get me. I like who I am. :redface:

[Kimberley]

Okay, knowing what I do and having TG issues then the answer is yes. Transition at a young age would have been preferred. However, Christine Jorgenson was the "freak" of the day and we were all sickos so the odds of it happening are nil to nonexistant.

My feelings have always been a mix of both genders but how much of that is learned is a big question. I am still seeking answers to that.

However, just being cisgendered one way or the other would have been an improvement over the turmoil so many of us suffered.

+?
Kimberley

[loriannetucson]

If I could have been born as a GG, absolutely. I have always wished that I was born as a girl. I also know that if I had known then what I know now, I would likely have transitioned at a much younger age, at least when I was in college in the early 90s. Now I'm 35, which to many isn't a bad transition time, however, my body is much more masculine than when I was 20, that's for sure.

I have to agree with most of the others in that I have many lasting memories and have been blessed with much. I can't say that my life has been a complete failure. My blessings are my wife whom I love and my 2 children, and I can't imagine my life without them.

Still, what a battle I'm facing. Struggling with the wife to make this work, worrying about how this will turn out at work, and worrying if I will lose all my family. Two months into HRT things have progressed well, but I know it's still a long road to hoe.

[joanlynn28]

Ditto all of the above. I concur. In a minute. For sure. Do I need to comment anymore? I think not!:heehee:

[Nicole]

If I could have another life as a female while keeping my memories from this life intact, I'd probably do it. But let me finish this one first! I am enjoying being who I am. :)

[Siobhan Marie]

In a heartbeat. To live the life that I should be living from day one? Oh yes please.

:hugs: Anna Marie x

[janelle]

Plan & simple hun, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[AmberTG]

Kehleyr, thank you so much for your reply here. Coming from you, as one who has already gone through all of the steps of transition, and then some, it really has a lot of meaning! I've only been on this road for less than 3 months and I have no idea how it's going to go, so hearing from people with your experience is quite helpful, to me at least.

[AmandaM]

If I had different parents, sure!

[Ms. Donna]

If you could start over in life and grow up as the sex you identify with, would you? I think that I would go back and do it all over again, watching my 2 sisters grow up made me wish that I could be like them, but we're talking the 1960s here so...

My body is what it is and my 'sex' is male: for me, this has never been a point of contention. Granted, the breasts I have - have had all my life - do queer the sexual binary somewhat, but not so much to call my overall sexual development into question.

However, if by "grow up as the sex you identify with" you mean the gender with which I identify, then perhaps there is something to discuss - as my transness as little to do with my sexual identification.

I have a difficulties with this type of pondering as all it usually does for me is put me in a foul mood. All the would'a / could'a / should'a wishing does nothing to address the reality of my existence which is the here and now. That said...

None of this really 'kicked in' until puberty for me. I never identified as a girl prior to then and even afterwards, I never had the feeling / identity of 'being' a girl. True, I was confused by my feelings and - at times - I seriously wanted to be a girl, but wanting and being are different. To this day, I don't identify as a girl (woman): I'm trans / genderqueer. I present more feminine than masculine and am read as a woman at least 50% of the time - but 'woman' is not how I identify - then again, neither is 'man'. I find that neither extreme - 'man' nor 'woman' - resonates for me and I am quite sure that all things being equal, had I been raised as a 'girl' I would have wound up in the same place via a different path. But this conjecture and ultimately unprovable.

But to the "If you could start over..." - No, I wouldn't. I am who I am, have the family and life I do because of my past. To change my past would be to change my present, and as I cannot know the world sub specie aeterni, I cannot know that the new present would be 'better' - that I would be a better person or have a better life.

As I said, the would'a / could'a / should'a game is, to me, pointless. We can not 'go back' and undo / redo events in our life. All we can do is learn from the past and move forward in as positive a way as possible.

Regards,
Donna

[Ally Lynn]

I would, I have been so closed in all my life. It would have been so much easier to live in the right gender for me, that I would not have had so many health and mental problems. I have never had a real relationships or had anyone (other than family) that has touched my heart and that make for very empty feeling inside.

My mind and body have been holding me back I guess for this reason.

Ally

[Tammy_j]

i'd come back as female in a second. that's always what i identified with..

Tammy

[melissaK]

Oh yeah, Amber . . . in a heartbeat.

Ditto.

I know my many blessings and do not fail to note there is always someone with a worse hand to play than mine. But everyday is hard and it hurts terribly some days. A chance to have lived a life free of this internal discontentment ? . . . in a heartbeat.

Hugs,
'lissa

[AmberTG]

I know that dwelling on the past can be not a good thing for you, my therapist keeps telling me not to live in the past, and I understand why, but to have had a life without the constant confusion and depression would seem to be the better way, even if it was as the gender that matched the body. It would seem that for most of you, the issue is about having a life without the effects of GID.
I know that many of us would rather have the body to match the gender, rather then the gender to match the body, but I sometimes think that either would be preferrable to the side effects of GID.
However, it seems that this is our lot in life and what's important is not what and who we are, but how we deal with it as it is. I'll be the first to say that it's not easy some days but my attitude and my actions are the only thing that I have any control over. Of course, I'm still gonna complain about it!:heehee: