am i a cross-dresser or a transsexual

[Hermione Simpson]

The reason i ask is that i've always felt like i'm a woman trapped in a man's body, & when i'm wearing female clothing i know i feel comfortable with myself as i'm not pretending to be someone i'm not because when i'm wearing male clothing i'm really agitated but when i'm wearing female cloting i feel a lot more relaxed with myself & i've felt this way since i was 7 (i'm 24 now), if you could help me what you think i am & what you think i should do next i'll be very greatful

[ToyGirl]

Most straight guys will at some point in there life say there a lesbian trapped in a mans body.

I dont think you can ask if your a transsexual , you generally just know , though a therapist can tell you if you have GD/GiD.

[Shelly Preston]

The reason i ask is that i've always felt like i'm a woman trapped in a man's body, & when i'm wearing female clothing i know i feel comfortable with myself as i'm not pretending to be someone i know i'm not, if you could help me i'll be greatful

Being comfortable in female clothing does not mean yu are transexual

However the feeling of being trapped in a man body suggests you could be

But with so little information it is hard for anyone to make judgments

[AmberTG]

Go to this website and do a lot of reading. I don't know if it will be helpful to you, but it might.
http://www.annelawrence.com/twr/

[janedoe311]

That is why they call it gender confusion.

If you CD to relax to get out the frustrations to let out your female side then you are a CD.

If you CD because you are in the wrong body then you really are not CD'ing because you are a women in with a birth defect a man body.

Unfortunately not all is just those two. I have felt like I should have been a girl since a child, but I like women. I wanted a family and a normal life. I still feel I should be a woman but there is nothing I can do about it. My family comes first. Am I TG because I do not CD? (I am sure I would do fine as a women if I was a few years younger and no family, but I will never know.)

So if you live as a women with men parts you are not CDing. You have to decide on how far you will go to be a woman. There is probably a dozen types of TG/TS and CD'ers if not more.

besides a label is just a label do not try give yourself a label they are for the general public which does not understand this anyway.

[Siobhan Marie]

If you CD because you are in the wrong body then you really are not CD'ing because you are a women in with a birth defect a man body.

I so agree with what Jane says as she is so right.

:hugs: Anna Marie x

[melissaK]

Most straight guys will at some point in their life say they're a lesbian trapped in a man's body. . . .

ToyGirl, I have not heard this before, this is news to me. Not disagreeing, nor even doubting, but can I ask for a reference or source for the comment?

As for Hermione's original FAQ, IMHO it's all a matter of degrees, like asking "when is your coffee hot?" Like ToyGirl says, you just know.

And, like Cat Stevens once wrote "if you want to be free, be free; if you want to sing out sing out . . . there's a million ways to be, you know that there are . . . " So, Hermione you can be what you want to be . . .

Hugs,
'lissa

[CaptLex]

if you could help me what you think i am & what you think i should do next i'll be very greatful
Welcome to Confusion Central, Hermoine. The only person that can answer that question is you. We all have to figure that one out for ourselves, nobody can tell us what we are or what we should do. Hard to do, I know. A therapist, especially a gender therapist can be a big help. It's the first step many of us take to start unraveling that big question. Good luck. :happy:

[LIVNHOSE]

Do You Have Desires About Having Sexy With Men While Your Dressed As A Woman? Do You Want To Live Your Life Totally As A Woman And Enjoy All The Things That Real Women Enjoy All Around The World? Have You Ever Had A Sexual Experience While Dressed As A Woman With A Man?

These Are All The Questions You Have To Ask Yourself, Are You Willing To Live The Rest Of Your Life As A Real Woman?

For Me I Would Have To Say I Am Transgendered, But Until I Embrace These Feelings Inside Of Me, I'm Just A Regular Old Crossdresser.

[Sharon]

Do You Have Desires About Having Sexy With Men While Your Dressed As A Woman? Do You Want To Live Your Life Totally As A Woman And Enjoy All The Things That Real Women Enjoy All Around The World? Have You Ever Had A Sexual Experience While Dressed As A Woman With A Man?

These Are All The Questions You Have To Ask Yourself, Are You Willing To Live The Rest Of Your Life As A Real Woman?

For Me I Would Have To Say I Am Transgendered, But Until I Embrace These Feelings Inside Of Me, I'm Just A Regular Old Crossdresser.

Actually, your sexual preference has nothing to do with your gender identity.

[Jenney Love]

Gender is a spectrum, you can be somewhere in the middle, though those on either end find this hard to believe.

[rocval2001]

I know how everyone feels - I am going through this again - my therpist has refered me to some one that specializes in GID - so maybe finally I can get a definitive answer - Yes I do fantasize [sic] about having sex with a male and me as the female - I wonder what a wedding night would be like. I want to enjoy the clothes the make up the bras and panities. I can not imagine life with out sometimes. Hanging with the guys does nothing for me. So hopfully I can get annswer soon.

Hugs
Valeri

[janedoe311]

I know how everyone feels - I am going through this again - my therpist has refered me to some one that specializes in GID - so maybe finally I can get a definitive answer - Yes I do fantasize [sic] about having sex with a male and me as the female - I wonder what a wedding night would be like. I want to enjoy the clothes the make up the bras and panities. I can not imagine life with out sometimes. Hanging with the guys does nothing for me. So hopfully I can get annswer soon.

Hugs
Valeri

The explanation is a in-born desire to be "normal", a heterosexual. As a women to be normal you have to like men. So it is a little confusing especially if you do not like men! I also "suspect" curiosity about having sex as a women is fairly strong as well. Not me of course just speculating!

[rocval2001]

Jane - Every time I picture myself with a man it is as only a women. It is not that I do not like men - just hanging out with a bunch of guys sometimes bores me and I find that I have very little in common them. I just feel like, oh I don't know if I can put words to it tight now, not normal - like I do not belong there. There is something about wearing make up - nail polish - bras - panties and womens clothing feels right - normal.

[ToyGirl]

ToyGirl, I have not heard this before, this is news to me. Not disagreeing, nor even doubting, but can I ask for a reference or source for the comment?


It's my opinion based on my life.

- I tend to hold my own experiences in life as greater value than things i read or hear. Until you experience something for yourself hearing it from someone else is the next best thing. Forums are a great collection of peoples opinions and experiences , for solid facts i would stick to wiki and such.

[melissaK]

I'm cool with that.

I too tend to interpret my life experiences as the norm, but with age I have come to be more careful before moving my ideas and my generalizations from the category of "hypothesis" to "fact." I think we unwittingly self censor our friend groups and limit our exposure to thoughts and ideas more than we realize. With age, I see a constellation of similar traits in my friends - and I think that is why we are friends. Its like we have "radar" that detects kindred souls out of a crowd.

As for your comment which sparked this discussion, I am certain not one of my straight guy friends has ever made such a lesbian confession to me. So, I can't extrapolate any life experiences in support of your statement. Keep in mind I am not doubting what you say - just noting that your life experinces have given you different information than mine.

I always enjoy your posts, and thanks for taking the time to engage my question to you.

Hugs'
'lissa

[ToyGirl]

I'm cool with that.

I too tend to interpret my life experiences as the norm, but with age I have come to be more careful before moving my ideas and my generalizations from the category of "hypothesis" to "fact." I think we unwittingly self censor our friend groups and limit our exposure to thoughts and ideas more than we realize. With age, I see a constellation of similar traits in my friends - and I think that is why we are friends. Its like we have "radar" that detects kindred souls out of a crowd.

As for your comment which sparked this discussion, I am certain not one of my straight guy friends has ever made such a lesbian confession to me. So, I can't extrapolate any life experiences in support of your statement. Keep in mind I am not doubting what you say - just noting that your life experinces have given you different information than mine.

I always enjoy your posts, and thanks for taking the time to engage my question to you.

Hugs'
'lissa


Hugs* no problem. I fail at putting warmth into text , though in real life i am nice ! (my opinion :p)

[Deanna2]

I absolutely adore wearing femme gear and feel ever so comfortable and relaxed when I'm wearing a skirt or any femme item. With me, though, there are no gender issues. I'm a guy that just straight up likes wearing femme gear.

[deedee100]

Most straight guys will at some point in there life say there a lesbian trapped in a mans body.

I dont think you can ask if your a transsexual , you generally just know , though a therapist can tell you if you have GD/GiD.
Hello, my name is Gwen and this is the first time I have ever directly spoken to anyone. The reason I am answering your thread is that, and possibly like you, I am looking for other people who feel as I do inside. I am searching for a mode of living my life naturally (naturally for me) as well as a simple description of who I am. I have just recently admitted to myself that the urges that I feel are that of a female. I, Gwen have been for 50 years for the most part repressed and with little chance to learn about my femininity. Here at my beginning the label "Lesbian Man" seems to fit with what I know of me so far. I think women look great. but my attraction to them is at least 50% envy. How I loooong to be like them and yet I love to make love to them. I have always felt like an outsider in the society of men and to me they are (sorry for this) quite ugly. Gay men who are "masculine" and well muscled are the most repellant of all to me. And yet sometimes I do dream of giving head while dressed up (finger on cheek and eyes looking up to the left, blinking a little). I suppose a label is only a problem when you can't stick another one on top when the time is right.

Hermione! I would love to turn back the clock 25 years and ask that boy in Amsterdam who was dressed up in a red plastic raincoat and heels where he bought his outfit. My desire to dress like him was so strong that it choked and confused me. Had I the courage then to see the signs, to admit that I really liked what girls wore and how they talked and moved because it seemed somehow right, my life would have been quite different. I think in retrospect that one must follow the truth that makes her warm inside. I haven't the experience to give anyone advice on this subject but would suggest that your dilemma will not go away by ignoring it. Try everything, then you know.

Gosh, I have been going on...
G.

[Cai]

My answer would be not to worry about what group you fall into. Labels are just boxes other people put us in. The important part is to be comfortable with yourself, whoever you are.

[AmberTG]

The thing about labels is that they give you a frame of reference to use when describing yourself, even if you're only talking to yourself.

[Siobhan Marie]

The thing about labels is that they give you a frame of reference to use when describing yourself, even if you're only talking to yourself.

I totally agree with you Amber, I do it all the time.

:hugs: Anna x

[AmberTG]

This is only my own experience but part of my ongoing confusion at this point is that I haven't found a "label" that fits my situation very well, other then the general transgender label. For me, knowing the frame of reference would give me a better place to start when working out who and what I am. I'm not content just floating in the "I am who I am" pond. That doesn't help me in my decision on which way is the best way for me to procede with my life. To quote the old Clash song, " should I stay or should I go, if I stay, there will be trouble, if I go it will be double"

So, having a "label" to describe yourself can be a useful tool in your process of self-discovery.

[deedee100]

This is only my own experience but part of my ongoing confusion at this point is that I haven't found a "label" that fits my situation very well, other then the general transgender label. For me, knowing the frame of reference would give me a better place to start when working out who and what I am. I'm not content just floating in the "I am who I am" pond. That doesn't help me in my decision on which way is the best way for me to procede with my life. To quote the old Clash song, " should I stay or should I go, if I stay, there will be trouble, if I go it will be double"

So, having a "label" to describe yourself can be a useful tool in your process of self-discovery.
Hello, Amber,

If you don't mind my asking, what is your "situation" right now?

Gwen

[cd_lisaplaything]

ToyGirl, I have not heard this before, this is news to me. Not disagreeing, nor even doubting, but can I ask for a reference or source for the comment?
Billy Connolly once said "I was reading an article in a magazine all about lesbians and what they do to get each other off... I think I am one!"

I'd have to agree though with the comment that most guys will at some point feel they are a lesbian trapped in a man's body.

[gillianCD]

Do You Have Desires About Having Sexy With Men While Your Dressed As A Woman? Do You Want To Live Your Life Totally As A Woman And Enjoy All The Things That Real Women Enjoy All Around The World? Have You Ever Had A Sexual Experience While Dressed As A Woman With A Man?

I know that sexuality and gender can be considered as two different things...but this is a conflict in me as well.

I am comfortable being a man...wearing men's clothes and behaving like a man...and of course being with a woman.

When I dress I am nervous about being caught but I find a part of me is relaxed and feel like I'm expressing that part of me...

HOWEVER, I often find myself fantasizing about men when I'm Gillian. I cannot even really think about men sexually unless I am expressing her. I find myself thinking about doing fellatio but detest the thought of anal sex but I am curious about a "vee-string" prosthetic vagina that would allow for simulated penetration...

Furthermore when I am dressed as my masculine self I find I am more of a dominate male (please don't confuse with Misogyny [sp?])...but my feminine side is submissive.

Does this make me a CD, TV, TG or a guy with Multiple Personality Disorder:heehee:? Am I confused? Is it possible that sexuality does play a role in gender identity?