Who I really am

[Lovely Rita]

I am writing this thread because I just had a wonderful chat with a very dear friend from England.

We were discussing learning about who we really are. I have posted tons on how we need to be positive about who we are and not let the negativity of others continue to influence and harm us.

In our conversation we concluded that the journey of really looking at who we are can seem freightening and even difficult at first, but essential nevertheless.

The journey of really looking in the mirror and really seeing our souls is so very important. One of the people I admire most once wrote "the truth will set you free." Which has been so very true in my case. I trully feel free because of the truth about what I have discovered so far, regarding who I am. I guess I will never completely know who I am but I am facing a lot of what has been revealed to me in my journey of soul searching.

I am, aside from many other things, a crossdresser who is today completely fulfilled with this part of me. In fact, totally happy and proud to be a crossdresser. I am so greatful to really love this part of me. I do not love this part of me exclusively but it is a major part of who I am today.

It is really wonderful to shed the guilt and self hate I use to know and come to terms with the fact that I do love me and it feels great.

Many might be saying, "great but how do you trully love yourself?"

I want also to make it perfectly clear that I do not love myself because I believe I am perfect. I am as flawed as the next gal, I believe more so. I used to love myself and others based on merit. Some internal scale that only allowed me to love based on achievements or perfection or strength or goodness. All that is over for me now. I love myself because it is good for me to love myself. It was a decision, as easy as that. Yes a decision and one we all have to make. Once the decision is made then comes the work. Like going into an attic and getting rid of the junk. Mentally getting rid of the bad attitudes about yourself and thinking about who put them there. Some were given to us by others and some we put in by ourselves, nevertheless they have to go.

I only wish this for everyone not just crossdressers.

Thanks for letting me share

[Kate Simmons]

As Angie would say, you are "spot on" with that Rita.:happy:

[Brianna Lovely]

Well said.

Years ago, I told a friend, that you must learn to love yourself, before you can truely love anyone else.

Most times, the journey to self discovery, is a difficult one. And for some people, impossible.

Rita, I wish you Love and Light on this journey through life.

[AmberTG]

You know, I think that "who you are" changes over time as you mature emotionally in life, just when you think you've got it figured out, something happens in your life to change it. I'm 51 and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.:heehee:

[Teresa Amina]

I'm 51 and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up.:heehee:

Gee, I thought you wanted to be a woman...:D
Also being 51 I now, belatedly, understand what the Oddness of my life stems from, not really a "who" question but a "what" one.

[Kerrie Sifton]

Nice sentiments Rita. I was amazed at certain things I did this week, and I like looking in the mirror more than before. Stay in touch. Hugs Kerrie

[Julie York]

Congratulations.
:thumbsup:

[Joy Carter]

And don't you feel even more "Lovely - Rita." :hugs:

[horice 3]

Hi Rita, just wanted to say that your post are so positive, not just about yourself, but also your acceptance of our diverse group and please continue to be the inspiration you are.

[kerrianna]

It is really wonderful to shed the guilt and self hate I use to know and come to terms with that fact that I do love me and it feels great.

I only wish this for everyone not just crossdressers.

Thanks for letting me share

Thank you Rita :hugs: . I've been feeling the same way lately too, and it's wonderful to know others feel that way too. I too wish it for everyone. :hugs: :love:

[Lovely Rita]

Salandra, Brianna, Amber, Teresa, Kerrie, Julie, Joy, Horice, and Kerrianna

I was just thinking how this site is very healthy for us. The moderators keep it safe but it is you Gals who keep the love pouring in.

Thanks for participating on this thread. I feel there is a need for so many of our sisters to grow in their love for themselves to really get healthy and happy. Crossdressing can seem like such a curse at times when we face it alone and negatively.
It is also such a Joy when we mix it with love. Love fixes everything.

Like U2 wrote in their song about Grace.

"Grace finds beauty in everything":love:

[TxKimberly]

I am writing this thread because I just had a wonderful chat with a very dear friend from England.

We were discussing learning about who we really are. I have posted tons on how we need to be positive about who we are and not let the negativity of others continue to influence and harm us.

In our conversation we concluded that the journey of really looking at who we are can seem freightening and even difficult at first, but essential nevertheless.

The journey of really looking in the mirror and really seeing our souls is so very important. One of the people I admire most once wrote "the truth will set you free." Which has been so very true in my case. I trully feel free because of the truth about what I have discovered so far, regarding who I am. I guess I will never completely know who I am but I am facing a lot of what has been revealed to me in my journey of soul searching.

I am, aside from many other things, a crossdresser who is today completely fulfilled with this part of me. In fact, totally happy and proud to be a crossdresser. I am so greatful to really love this part of me. I do not love this part of me exclusively but it is a major part of who I am today.

It is really wonderful to shed the guilt and self hate I use to know and come to terms with the fact that I do love me and it feels great.

Many might be saying, "great but how do you trully love yourself?"

I want also to make it perfectly clear that I do not love myself because I believe I am perfect. I am as flawed as the next gal, I believe more so. I used to love myself and others based on merit. Some internal scale that only allowed me to love based on achievements or perfection or strength or goodness. All that is over for me now. I love myself because it is good for me to love myself. It was a decision, as easy as that. Yes a decision and one we all have to make. Once the decision is made then comes the work. Like going into an attic and getting rid of the junk. Mentally getting rid of the bad attitudes about yourself and thinking about who put them there. Some were given to us by others and some we put in by ourselves, nevertheless they have to go.

I only wish this for everyone not just crossdressers.

Thanks for letting me share

What a great post! It's funny how so many of us TG's wish that others would accept us when we have trouble accepting ourselves. Being a CD used to tear me to pieces and cause me a great deal of anxiety and other problems. My life got a lot better the day I looked at myself in the mirror and said "You know what, this is who I am. I'm a pretty decent person, not the best and not the worst, but decent. CDing is a big part of me but it does not define me, and I am not ashamed of who I am"!

Kim

[Kate Simmons]

In all honesty, I was thinking of leaving a couple of times Rita for different reasons. I realized that I cannot, however. The sweetness, honesty and love here are evident. We are like a family and like a family, we don't always agree on everything but we grow and continue to grow together and I do indeed love everyone here for who they are. I can think of a lot worse things to do for sure but if even one person is helped or encouraged it's well worth the effort. It's hard to believe I've been here a year already. Time flies when you are having fun.:love: Sal

[Karren H]

You always say things so eliquently, Rita..... And on the money... And you got it all figured out... They way it should be and I agree 100%....

Love Karren

[Lovely Rita]

Karren, Salandra and Kim you are lights in my life.:love:

It is good for us to affirm and confirm the good things and blessings our journey holds. Hopefully it will be as helpful to others. Can I take all of you home?:D
:love:

You are all so very good for me, just what the doctor ordered

[TxKimberly]

Karren, Salandra and Kim you are lights in my life.:love:

It is good for us to affirm and confirm the good things and blessings our journey holds. Hopefully it will be as helpful to others. Can I take all of you home?:D
:love:

You are all so very good for me, just what the doctor ordered

My wife tells me I'm not house trained - I make messes. <Giggle>
Kim

[Lovely Rita]

My wife tells me I'm not house trained - I make messes. <Giggle>
Kim

I must admit though i am so very helpful around the house when enfemme

a regular Donna Reed, a real housewife:heehee:

[Mitch23]

yes i feel that way too. an imperfect being but totally at peace with who i am. for years i was a sick pervert with a guilty secret but now i'm proud to say "I'M A CROSSDRESSER!!!"

love

mitch

[Dixie]

Got myself al dolled up and clean house today, I can't wait to surprise the wife when she returns home from work :hugs: :love:

[nishababe]

Dearest Rita,

Like yourself I have had a long journey of accepting myself and now I like who I am !!
I like my feminine side as a real plus ,makes me a complete person who can see both sides of life ,I can talk to women and relate to women in ways that other men cannot seem to ,only problem is that I pick up girlfriends too easy and I dont have the heart to let them go when they start crying if I try to break off with them ,too soft by far !!
I used to feel odd and depressed when I was young but now live gets better all the time ( I am a young looking gemini of 59 ,with girlfriends from 25 years upwards !! )
Some of them know about my c/d habit and dont mind ,some even like it .
I choose to tell who I think will accept it .
Like yourself I love the feel of stockings ,first trying my mothers on at a very early age .
My first ever memories were of wearing my sisters clothes .Sometimes my sister made me up as a girl and everyone used to say I should have been a girl and that I had long girl like eye lashes ,ahh memories ,
Love the site ,there are so many of us ,I am not alone any more as when I was a young frightened lonly teenager of about 12 with swelling breasts wondering what was happening to my body ,frightened to tell anyone ,had I got cancer ?
Peace and acceptence now ,no more trauma,older happier and wiser ,

Love to all of you ,

Nishababe xxxxx:hugs:

[Lovely Rita]

Mitch, Dixie, Nishababe,

It is music to my ears to hear back from you wonderful ladies. We really are our own support network. It is great to be here for one another. Though we exchange mostly words we all know how powerful words can be as we see the results of negative ones that may still echo in our minds.

I really thank everyone who has posted with the wonderful flavor of love and positiveness. It trully is the music for our souls.

Let's always remember to be good to each other. This is a Journey with peaks and valleys and we need to stick together.

Much of what is needed can be found in the encouragement we share. It is in our words to one another that we receive the confirmation and affirmation that was, for so long, missing from our lives.
Thank you for being so very wonderful.:love: :thumbsup:

[Carin's Wife GG]

it warms up this GG too!


Louise.

[jennie06]

It really is a great post. I have a question that I hope you girls don't find offensive but has troubled me a great deal. Being a christian and listening to people calling us sinners, I know that stopped me personally from accepting who I was for the longest time but after spending time studying and praying on this that I believe we have a purpose on this earth.
I certainly hope that I didn't offend anyone by bringing this up but I know a lot of people that their happiness is put off by narrow minded hypocrites twisting things and making the tg community think that they are less than they really are. Not trying to quote scripture but one of the greatest things that we are supposed to do is love one another and I have found that when I have practiced this it has become easier and easier to accept both sides of myself and that it takes both to make me complete and therefor become the person I was meant to be. That realization has opened up a whole new world for me.
Once again I want to apologize if I have offended anyone but I was just wondering if I was way off base. If you are reading this then I would leave you with this. I hope you have a wonferful day.

[Charleen]

What a freedom I have experienced lately. The freedom of allowing myself to finally allow myself to know me after living in guilt, denial, shame, anger and depression all my life. The truth will definately set you free if you can take to heart.

[Joy Carter]

It really is a great post. I have a question that I hope you girls don't find offensive but has troubled me a great deal. Being a christian and listening to people calling us sinners, I know that stopped me personally from accepting who I was for the longest time but after spending time studying and praying on this that I believe we have a purpose on this earth.
I certainly hope that I didn't offend anyone by bringing this up but I know a lot of people that their happiness is put off by narrow minded hypocrites twisting things and making the tg community think that they are less than they really are. Not trying to quote scripture but one of the greatest things that we are supposed to do is love one another and I have found that when I have practiced this it has become easier and easier to accept both sides of myself and that it takes both to make me complete and therefor become the person I was meant to be. That realization has opened up a whole new world for me.
Once again I want to apologize if I have offended anyone but I was just wondering if I was way off base. If you are reading this then I would leave you with this. I hope you have a wonferful day.


Jenni, what you say is so true. But don't forget we have some hypocrits right here as well. I know it's human nature. But I try all the time not to come off that way.

[kerrianna]

Not trying to quote scripture but one of the greatest things that we are supposed to do is love one another and I have found that when I have practiced this it has become easier and easier to accept both sides of myself and that it takes both to make me complete and therefor become the person I was meant to be. That realization has opened up a whole new world for me.


Nothing to apologize for Jennie. That is a beautiful and true sentiment. :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:

And Salandra...HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! :love:

[Mitch23]

a further though on this - i work in a predominantly female line of work with just a few guys around. i am very much accepted as on of the girls now and they are all quite comfortable with that kind of relationship - perhaps they dont feel as threatened. When the girls go out next i've been invited and they would like to dress me up! Boy have i got a surprise for them - i dont want to look like a drag queen now do I!

thanks girls you are a great group!

mitch

[Mitch23]

i remember a couple of years ago a young crossdresser came into church. i didnt realise at the time how brave she was to do that. anyway, after the service about half the ladies gathered round and made her feel really welcome as well as giving some much needed advice on clothes sense, makeup etc. the other half huffed and puffed and kept a wide berth. she never came back but i think she felt a little of god's love and acceptance in that place

love

mitch

[Mitch23]

its a hard freedom because there are going to be knocks and setbacks along the way but its well worth the fight!

mitch

[jennie06]

For being receptive Mitch,Joy and Kerianna. Wasn't sure how that perspective would be accepted. Not that I think anyone here is a mean person or anything. It's just that sometimes I may have a naive attitude about things. I just wish that everyone could experience the joy and love that they deserve as a person. I never thought that about their being hypocrites here. I thought we were all the same here. I guess that would be the naive attitude again. It really doesn't matter to me because I still stick to my same philosophy and that is try and make anyone I come in contact with to feel loved and appreciated no matter how they may make it at the time. I know it drives some people crazy when they are in one of those :Angry3: moods but sometimes it makes a difference and people leave happy. I hope you girls have a wonderful day and know that you are loved and appreciated.

Your Sister
Jennie

[Lovely Rita]

For being receptive Mitch,Joy and Kerianna. Wasn't sure how that perspective would be accepted. Not that I think anyone here is a mean person or anything. It's just that sometimes I may have a naive attitude about things. I just wish that everyone could experience the joy and love that they deserve as a person. I guess I never thought that about their being hypocrites here. I guess I thought we were all the same here. I guess that would be the naive attitude again. i guess that it really doesn't matter to me because I still stick to my same philosophy and that is try and make anyone I come in contact with to feel loved and appreciated no matter how they may make it at the time. I know it drives some people crazy when they are in one of those :Angry3: moods but sometimes it makes a difference and people leave happy. I hope you girls have a wonderful day and know that you are loved and appreciated.

Your Sister
Jennie

If faith is to teach us anything it is supposed to teach us how to love. Too many times people who did not fit in to the so called "main stream," have been shunned and made to believe that God was for everyone else except for them. Selective issues. You could be a womanizer or a abuse your wife but God forbid you are what society would categorize as deviant, tg, cd, etc.

For too long we have been made to feel that there was no place for us in faith. That God some how loved and worked with all others except for us.

It is conditioning that makes anyone feel this way and it is false. We are all the same in my Loving God's eyes.

thanks again:love:

[Angie G]

Well Rita I think you are a lovely abd loving woman and I'm glad to know you
:hugs:
Angie

[missattitude]

Being yourself and loving yourself sometimes can become a daily struggle. As some make it sound easy, for others, it takes a lifetime to become at peace at what you really are, espically when it covers more than just a secret life that you hide from others. One day, I will come to that conclusion, but untill then, I will take it as it comes.

[Lovely Rita]

Well Rita I think you are a lovely abd loving woman and I'm glad to know you
:hugs:
Angie


Being yourself and loving yourself sometimes can become a daily struggle. As some make it sound easy, for others, it takes a lifetime to become at peace at what you really are, espically when it covers more than just a secret life that you hide from others. One day, I will come to that conclusion, but untill then, I will take it as it comes.


Angie I always appreciate your positive and loving feedback.

Missattitude, I hope I did not make my journey sound easy. It has taken me a life time. Started out with guilt and self hatred for who I was. Can you imagine that? Hating who I was? Having to be that who I was not to please and fulfill what hypocritical society expected of me. To mask who I really was and hide what I really loved. No, that is not an easy road.

I was conditioned to dislike myself. I was taught that people or more specifically men who dressed as woman were just plain evil. Lower than outcasts and not worth anything. No love for you. That is what society projected at leaste in my head. I can only speak for myself.

I have decided to fight it all with Love. Not hate but with Love. Love is my medicine and the balm that heals my soul.

To make the choice to Love myself was finally easy but to get there was very hard.

I wish you the best:love:

[Joy Carter]

If faith is to teach us anything it is supposed to teach us how to love. Too many times people who did not fit in to the so called "main stream," have been shunned and made to believe that God was for everyone else except for them. Selective issues. You could be a womanizer or a abuse your wife but God forbid you are what society would categorize as deviant, tg, cd, etc.

For too long we have been made to feel that there was no place for us in faith. That God some how loved and worked with all others except for us.

It is conditioning that makes anyone feel this way and it is false. We are all the same in my Loving God's eyes.

thanks again:love:

So very true Rita. I just wish those here and those of who profess to have faith, would live this very basic and comforting thought. :hugs:

[toniinoz]

What a freedom I have experienced lately. The freedom of allowing myself to finally allow myself to know me after living in guilt, denial, shame, anger and depression all my life. The truth will definately set you free if you can take to heart.

I feel so grateful that I have never felt guilt, denial, shame, anger or depression over being simply being ME. Have been ME for 68 years & adore my femininity, only wish it could be permanent as I so love being a girl.
Hugs to all, Toni.

[LindaMarie]

Rita,

I love your post.

I know I struggle with having the courage and honesty to know and accept myself. I think I'm getting better but I have a long way to go.

Your post is a wonderful inspiration to be brave and honest and to love and not just accept but to celebrate yourself.

All the best.

Linda

[Karren H]

Well your a sweatheart too, Linda Marie!!!

Love Karren

[Lovely Rita]

Joy,Toni,Linda Marie and Karren

I just cannot get enough of you guys. You ladies are the best!!! Every time I read what you post I get happy. Your are all contagious. I really mean it. Talk about lights in my life, Ladies I am so fortunate to know you all. I relate to every word and I am listening and learning.

We are all working to get there and we all have a long way to go but it is always comforting to know we are headed in the right direction. The direction of love.